Need Some EMERGENCY Advice!!

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

So me and my current girlfriend have been talking since around Jan 22. We started going out Feb 25. And today I was really bored and (I feel dirty for even saying this) but hacked her facebook because I just had this bad little feeling. So anyways I went through some messages and nothing important. But then I found one that really shocked me and has left me pretty speechless. Little background:
When me and her first started talking she was talking/messing with this 28 year old guy. She's 18, and at one time she told me that she stopped talking to him like that and me and her went on about our business.
So this is the message I saw from her to him on March 22.

I misss you soo much...... I hope you know ur still the one that makes my heart skip a beat. Stay amazing my hunni. Always know that my corazon is right next to yours.

Say hello to your wonderful family for me, tell them that I miss them too very much and that I will drop by really soon (:

Te quiero mucho Babe. I just wanted you to know that.

Now that's 3 days before our 1 month anniversary. Thursday night (April 15) she told me that she loved me back. Now of course I said it back because I am truly in love with this girl. But reading that on her facebook is driving me crazy.
Me and Guillotine have been talking about it and are having trouble figuring it out.
I know this girl is absolutely smitten by me and in no way is she the cheating type, we both have talked about that our relationship won't end because one of us cheats.

Also please keep in mind that I am not the type of guy to do this normally, I just have too much time on my hands and I'm not jealous, I just don't want to lose this girl.

Thank you for your help.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

If it's on facebook it doesn't mean squat! Why though did you hack into her facebook account? It seems that you don't trust her and if she finds out she will never trust you. Maybe she really likes you and she hasn't let this guy know he's out of the picture because he's away and maybe she is getting around to telling him in her own time.So you could have had a nice relationship but you're trying to blow it.Forget it, fall in love and see what happens but snooping is as bad as cheating. A famous man once said "If you look for the bad in people you will always find it. The key is to look for the good". And if you can tell me who said that I'll be amazed!

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I have to agree with Cusp on this one. You violated her privacy and any pain that results is your own fault. Love is complicated and you may be misreading her message entirely. Maybe she is still stringing him along, but maybe she just has a strong friendship going with this guy (saying hi to his family doesn't smack of lust, at least to me). Anyway, you've been sneaking so you cannot know the context. Don't let this poison what could be a great relationship. If you don't trust her, how can you say that you are "truly in love with this girl?" You're not being fair. Follow Cusp's advice: forget it and judge how she feels about you by her words and actions towards you, not some silly Facebook message that you don't know squat about.

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

Guys I know, I know. I might be reading too much into it because I have way too much time on my hands. I know I violated her privacy and everything too and trust me I feel extremely f$#@ing dirty for doing so. Words don't accurately describe it. But Cusp - this guy knows he's out of the picture, he has known for a while. He saw me and her walking at school and started following us to the same building. I held the door open for him. He also talked shit to me over facebook when we did start going out.

My main concern is what she's said to him. She didn't send that in response to anything he sent, she sent it to him initiating the conversation. And she's saying how she loves him and how her heart will always be next to his which is why I'm freaking out. That only means 1 thing to me in my books.

And I really do feel ... Not sure what the proper word is. But I don't feel proper after doing this. But at the same time it's driving me crazy.
She's always telling me of what guys say to her/do to her when she's walking around and by and stuff trying to get a reaction from me, and I've found that I'm starting to turn into the "jealous type" which I have never been and don't desire to be.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Dude, although hacking her facebook is technically a cheap shot, to me, it isnt THAT much of a big deal. You're still cool in my book.

If I saw that on my girlfriend's facebook, I would speak to her about it, immediately. What the FUCK is that message supposed to mean? I would definitely want to get to the bottom of this. If she is a cheating bitch, then you need to dump her.

If she DID cheat on you and is pissed that you hacked her account, just tell her that you suspected her of cheating.

If she did NOT cheat on you...well actually, there is no way of knowing...you will most likely never know the truth. Was she seeing this guy BEFORE you guys were dating? The fact that she sent that message while you guys were dating is definitely some fucked up shit.

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

She's not the cheating type, but the context of the message is driving me crazy.
She was seeing the guy up until we started talking bro. She stopped talking to him to get with me, but sends him this message a month into us being an official couple.

In this case "curiousity killed the Millia"

[Aguares Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Aguares]

Te quiero mucho means "I love you very much". Not trying to stir the post but, it does strike me odd as well. And, what does it mean that she'll stop by very soon? For him or his family? A lot of questions to be answered.

Not to belittle Batwoman's thought's but, I don't know how one telling another that they're the one that makes their heart skip a beat, can be misinterpreted. I will say that you should tread very lightly on how you go about finding your answers. They possible can be platonic. Doesn't appear so to me but, I've been wrong before.

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

There are, and I feel sick already about what I did, but I've given myself a headache thinking about this so much. I don't really know what to do.
Me and another member were discussing this earlier and came up with a strategy like this to talk to her about it..

put a fb status that onyl she would get. like rethinking things and if its bad call her out. cause she'll txt you and call you ignroe until tonight.
But dont say you looked in her shit. Be like an anonymous friend told me your still seeing this guy. Be like im not accusing you of lying or cheating. and im not assuming, i need you to tell me the truth

I really do feel sick about this whole thing, and if it was any other girl I woulda dropped her by now. But I really do like this girl.
As far as trusting her goes, I don't trust any girl. To me trust is something that has to be earned.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

OK, time for some GROWN up advice. Dude, you violated her privacy by hacking into her facebook account. That's your bad my friend. My ex gf did the EXACT same thing to me with my email. I left her computer and I was still signed onto my yahoo account and she chose to violate my privacy and read my email, saw some dirty pic's of a lady friend of mine, accused me of cheating, blah blah blah. I didn't cheat but in her warped mind, I had. Whatever......she's a nut job anyway and an ex for a reason.

Back to your problem. OK, you say she's not the cheating type. Uh, brotha man, I got news for you, there is only ONE reason a girl sends a message like that to any guy..........she's diggin' on him. Chances are she said "I love you" on your anniversary because she still hasn't figured out how to drop the bomb on you yet. I'm not trying to be negative here, I'm trying to keep it real. I mean think about millia, she told this guy she misses him, he's her "hunni" and he's still the one that makes her heart "skip a beat"??? Brother, come on, you REALLY need me to spell this out for you? And I don't know if you speak Spanish or not but "te quiero mucho babe" doesn't mean "let's meet up somewhere for coffee and talk about greenhouse emissions"......this means "I want you alot babe". Now, if that were MY girl and I read that shit, she'd have some serious explaining to do and THEN I'd dump her ass. Yeah, you violated her trust by hacking her facebook and that's on you but the way I'm reading that passage she wrote, she's going out on you bro.

And this business about the fact you claim she's not the type to cheat??? If that passage isn't proof to the contrary, I don't know what is. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my shit stained underwear.....

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

OK, time for some GROWN up advice.

Well we basically told him the same thing as you did....there is some messed up shit going on with his girlfriend, the message aint right. I dont see what isn't grown up about the advice we gave him before you posted.

??

[ErictheGed Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ErictheGed]

She's not the cheating type, but the context of the message is driving me crazy.

She's always telling me of what guys say to her/do to her when she's walking around and by and stuff trying to get a reaction from me

And this business about the fact you claim she's not the type to cheat??? If that passage isn't proof to the contrary, I don't know what is. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my shit stained underwear.....

Please listen to MBD mate, and forget about you and her as any kind of long-term deal.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Well we basically told him the same thing as you did....there is some messed up shit going on with his girlfriend, the message aint right. I dont see what isn't grown up about the advice we gave him before you posted.

??

I more or less meant that I would give some advice from someone who's been around the block a few more times than you or millia has, that's all. Yes, you did give him the same advice I gave, I was merely speaking my mind about the topic and adding my 2 cents.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

I more or less meant that I would give some advice from someone who's been around the block a few more times than you or millia has, that's all. Yes, you did give him the same advice I gave, I was merely speaking my mind about the topic and adding my 2 cents.

Don't worry, we know youre the alpha around here when it comes to relationships

But yeah, you were a little direct though. It's all good

[Bowieichiban Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bowieichiban]

Well I'm just dumbstruck. Everyone getting on this guy because he had a suspicion and went with it. But if he hired the tv show cheaters to find out the same thing would it be ok? What I think is he got the answer he was looking for. Now just needs to man up and dump her. But in a very mysterious way. Stop texting her, go out with friends and meet other girls...bump her down on your priority list.
As a man you should also know that when it comes to women and dishonesty...you're in way over your head. The great thing about women is that they are always looking for security and will give most guys a chance to be that for them. The bad thing about women is that the have an ego that laughs at all you are trying to be if you don't exactly fit the bill.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Don't worry, we know youre the alpha around here when it comes to relationships

But yeah, you were a little direct though. It's all good

Being the alpha around here when it comes to relationships wasn't exactly the reputation I was going for but I guess I'll take it...lol

As for being direct, that's how I roll these days. I don't beat around the bush. When I see something that should be blatantly obvious, yes, I tend to be a bit direct.