Need Some EMERGENCY Advice!!

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

While it is blatantly obvious I am in agreement with y'all. Totally. At the same time though I'm going to go about in my own style and talk to her about. I might even use my persuasive/manipulation skills to get her to show me the message and explain. I believe in second chances for the right people and like Batwoman and Cusp said from the get-go I was looking for trouble, and found it, I'm not going to put my tail between my legs and run from this problem, I'm going to tackle it in my own way (and not break my other foot in the process hee hee.) and see what is going on exactly.
I know from what y'all are saying I should break up with her, but at the same time if you guys knew her and truly understood her nature then I think you might have different opinions.
Thank you guys for your input, it is completely valuable to me and once again thank you very much.
I'll continue to update this as events unfold.

[NSF001 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NSF001]

I think you should make it sound like that you are breaking up with her and then analyze her response & body language. I personally (and of course I say this with all due respect) question the nature of this girl if she is playing around with at least one more guy's heart. More particularly, do you know if she is the kinda girl that knows what she wants out of life? My experience tells me that if she is unsure then she will exhibit this kinda behavior and several men might have heart breaks as a result.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

While it is blatantly obvious I am in agreement with y'all. Totally. At the same time though I'm going to go about in my own style and talk to her about. I might even use my persuasive/manipulation skills to get her to show me the message and explain. I believe in second chances for the right people and like Batwoman and Cusp said from the get-go I was looking for trouble, and found it, I'm not going to put my tail between my legs and run from this problem, I'm going to tackle it in my own way (and not break my other foot in the process hee hee.) and see what is going on exactly.
I know from what y'all are saying I should break up with her, but at the same time if you guys knew her and truly understood her nature then I think you might have different opinions.
Thank you guys for your input, it is completely valuable to me and once again thank you very much.
I'll continue to update this as events unfold.

I never said you should break up with her. I simply said that in my personal opinion, based on that message she sent to that 28 year old dude, she's got eyes for someone else. If she were my gf, I'd confront her about it too. Then I'd cut her loose. If she has no problems telling another dude she's got eyes for him while she's with you, she'll do it again and again and again. You telling us that if we really knew her and truly understood her nature we'd feel differently tells me you don't want to believe she'd be capable of cheating on you. You have her on a pedestal and you don't want to believe anything to the contrary of what you believe she is. You're right, none of us here know her like you do but taking your initial post for face value, she doesn't sound as trusting and such as you're making her sound. JMO.

[Mars81 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mars81]

Don't tell her you seen her message but try to get her to tell you like you said. Try breaking up with her too like NSF says and read her body language and stuff like that. Oh also when you do, try throwing in some subtle things that may make her remember what she wrote and observe her reactions and responses. Like saying something like, "I don't think I make your heart skip a beat" it might ring a bell, she might think someone told you about it, that the other guy was bragging about it, or whatever it might be but don't expose yourself just yet and too soon. If at all even, that could make things worse.

[Closed039 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Closed039]

Well...you gotta get to the bottom of it.

This dude is 28 and shes 18???

[NSF001 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NSF001]

Well...you gotta get to the bottom of it.

This dude is 28 and shes 18???

Yeah, I have seen such trends as of late. It really makes me wonder what they will ever be compatible on. But Cupid works in funny (and cruel) ways.

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

Hey everyone, thanks for everything, truly from the bottom of my heart I have never been apart of an online community who helps out as much as y'all do. Everyone here kicks ass.
We talked things out for an hour. I'll post up more details tomorrow when I get the opportunity.

[NSF001 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NSF001]

Hey everyone, thanks for everything, truly from the bottom of my heart I have never been apart of an online community who helps out as much as y'all do. Everyone here kicks ass.
We talked things out for an hour. I'll post up more details tomorrow when I get the opportunity.

I wish you the best.

Stay strong!

[persian Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close persian]

I don't know if this was mentioned yet , but I think that she was feeling sorry for him and tried to make him feel better for leaving him and going with you. The fact that she also met the family and saw how nice they were made her feel more guilty as well, I think she was just trying to make him feel better, it was a message of pity. Your the one she realy is after. Maybe talk to her about it and about how she was with him and how she broke it off to see get a better picture.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

As was pointed out above and for whatever reason it didn't click with me last night, there's a HUGE age difference here. 28 & 18????? If my daughter were 18 and dating a 28 year old..........well, I couldn't stop her because she'd be 18 but I sure as fuck wouldn't try and be his best friend either. Is there a reason he can't get a girl his own damn age?

[millia Senior Member;PEGym Editor Find all posts View Profile Close millia]

So pardon the "chat-speak" but I'm copying and pasting this from Facebook (was talking to my PE friend on there about it), so bear with me. It will seem a little jumbled up so I'll edit and put quote marks in as appropriate. Also when I refer to my gameplan just read the quote below.

What my plan is.. is like shes gonna call me tonight when she gets off work.. and im gonna say something like this.. a kid in my class told me today that he overheard mr army talking to some other guy a while ago.. and he was saying that u had sent him a text saying that you still loved him a lot and how your hearts would always be together and also that you were going to go visit him or something .. and he was saying how we were gonna be broken up soon and he was gonna just pick you up again after the break up ..

That was from aim, so pardon that.

i called her nd followed my game plan and threw in my own touches and what not ... then she lied about the last time she talked to dude... so i was like are you sure tahts the last time u talked to him?
"yea ."
"ok well thats not what i know you sent him a message less then a month ago did you not ?"
"oh you went thru my messages huh thats cool thats really cool."
"well i saw you wrote that you loved him and your hearts will always be together wtf is that about ?"
waterworks turn on and lots talking.
"im sorry i didnt mean to hide it from you , i just didnt know how to tell you.."
"tell me what WTF are you talking about do you still love him or do you love me like you say you do wtf is going on???"
"no i love you at that time i was still very confused because i was so into him when we were talking and going out on dates and stuff but as i got to know you more and more you just made me more happy.. you do something that no other guy has EVER made me feel. and your my world now and i mean every word of it. im just so sorry that i hurt you and i understand if you wanna break up with me"

she wasnt even mad that i looked thru her messages .. she was just so worried that she hurt me :\

Anyways she's picking me up for school in a little bit and we're going to talk more.

Yes the guy is 28 (turned 29 at the start of the month) and she's 18 (turning 19 in July). One of the lesser reasons she dropped him for me is because he's so fucking old, and she's not ready to settle down yet. He's ready to start a life and stuff like any typical 30 year old would be, and she's not.
Anyways the guy is an ex-army tool with a busted ass face and large body (muscle wise). But lord I will still crack a mother fucker in his face and bust up that face more. Broken foot or not.

And no he probably can't get girls his own age which is why he goes for way younger girls.
I also think it has something to do with the fact that my girl is like a Colombian Princess. Guys are always trying to holla at her.

[jblair Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jblair]

You shouldn't have violated her privacy. It fired up jealousy. She won't forget this. Don't look back and don't mention the other guy or the situation again.

The self-loathing you profess for violating her privacy, coupled with jealousy, is contributing to your denial - you are putting it all on the "fucking old" 28 year-old former army guy. You don't have a good reason to hate this guy. Rather than focus on your own actions and the somewhat fickle behavior of your girlfriend, you bash this other guy. Let me add, fickle behavior on your girlfriend's part which you learned of via snooping.

As you grow older you will know that there is often overlap in tangible and intangible elements of a girlfriend's former loves or relationships. Get used to the idea that people are in flux, in transition at times, and very much so in the dating and mating environment. Let go of the thought police mentality or your going to chase away some decent women.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

You shouldn't have violated her privacy. It fired up jealousy. She won't forget this. Don't look back and don't mention the other guy or the situation again.

The self-loathing you profess for violating her privacy, coupled with jealousy, is contributing to your denial - you are putting it all on the "fucking old" 28 year-old former army guy. You don't have a good reason to hate this guy. Rather than focus on your own actions and the somewhat fickle behavior of your girlfriend, you bash this other guy. Let me add, fickle behavior on your girlfriend's part which you learned of via snooping.

As you grow older you will know that there is often overlap in tangible and intangible elements of a girlfriend's former loves or relationships. Get used to the idea that people are in flux, in transition at times, and very much so in the dating and mating environment. Let go of the thought police mentality or your going to chase away some decent women.

I totally agree 100% with every word of this post. Very well said. Yeah, hating on this guy? Sorry Millia, not with you on this one. He didn't do shit, your supposed girl friend did it. She's the one who used her own confusion as a means to justify contacting this guy. I know I mentioned this before this post but my ex gf went through my email one day, something she had NO FUCKING RIGHT to do and saw some pic's a lady friend of mine had sent me and called me a "cheater". I NEVER trusted my ex again fully after that. I changed my email password and everything JUST to make certain she never got access again. Now that you've confessed to her to snooping in her facebook, she may now view you as the guy who's always checking up on me and that I can't trust. I know some women who have "police mentality" husbands or boyfriends and I'll tell you right now, they're fucking miserable as hell and hate their lives and their spouses/boyfriends. A very, very sad way to have a relationship.

And despite what she says to you that she was confused as hell blah blah blah, I would just be on my toes if you choose to stay with her.

[Guillotine01a Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Guillotine01a]

I totally agree 100% with every word of this post. Very well said. Yeah, hating on this guy? Sorry Millia, not with you on this one. He didn't do shit, your supposed girl friend did it. She's the one who used her own confusion as a means to justify contacting this guy. I know I mentioned this before this post but my ex gf went through my email one day, something she had NO FUCKING RIGHT to do and saw some pic's a lady friend of mine had sent me and called me a "cheater". I NEVER trusted my ex again fully after that. I changed my email password and everything JUST to make certain she never got access again. Now that you've confessed to her to snooping in her facebook, she may now view you as the guy who's always checking up on me and that I can't trust. I know some women who have "police mentality" husbands or boyfriends and I'll tell you right now, they're fucking miserable as hell and hate their lives and their spouses/boyfriends. A very, very sad way to have a relationship.

And despite what she says to you that she was confused as hell blah blah blah, I would just be on my toes if you choose to stay with her.

Your last statement is exactly what I told him MBD. As for bashing the guy, hey cut him some slack. Yeah it may be wrong but trust I don't think I know one guy who would be in this situation and wouldn't try to downgrade the other guy in some sort of way; whether out loud or subconsciously. Just for the reason that it was his girl and it'd make himself feel better. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a comment on here from someone saying he is more mature then that so I'm going to address that before it happens. Great for you man, go make yourself a fucking award. Its just Millia's way of dealing with it. Hes down and out and bashing the guy seems to help him a little. I highly doubt Millia is going to go fight this guy over something this stupid. I have seen the guy and I have to concur he does have a busted ass face so that is a fact. He is pretty buff tho. This guy walks around a community college with an army shirt and shorts and he is 28 years old and tries to pick up chicks. Get a fucking life man. Stop hitting girls just out of high school.

[NP97 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close NP97]

Go ahead and bash him, just don't do it in front of your girl. That is the immature thing to do and she will not appreciate it, especially since she is still probably comparing the two of you.