5 Reasons that a girl may cheat on you and you don’t know why

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

There is a Benjamin Franklin quote that comes to mind.

"If you want to know a girls faults, praise her to her friends."

That is exactly right and well noted.

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

well my wife of 15 yrs cheated on me about 5 mos ago. She was visiting family and an old high school crush of hers was there. they hung out all night discussing the old days and had a few drinks ( my wife doesnt drink normally) Anyway Im sure part of it was "Someone giving her some attention I wasnt and she needed" She said it just happened and it was real quick for both of them and she felt horrible after. It was very hard for me to deal with and it still is sometimes. I think every possible reason you could imagine has gone through my head. All in all it really boosted our relationship and we get along better than we ever have and if anything we love each other more and we show it more. I have never shared this with anyone so It kinda feels good to get it out. Its embarrassing that my relationship made it to that point.

Thanks for sharing that man.

I have been through that with my X wife and my past two girl friends.

Come to find out, it was the same thing as you just stated here.

It seems when we first meet a girl we shower her with attention and praise, but after a while we know we have her, so we start getting lazy in our efforts to show attention and praise because we have her now. So we feel like why do we have to do that anymore and this in turn sometimes makes us fall out of love with that person because all we start seeing is there faults instead of the great things that we loved about them in the beginning.

So we need to keep our game going and stay the Alpha Male that we started to be when we first met.

Ronnie Rokk

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

I forgot about this thread. This reminded me just how true it is that no matter what they say, sex is very important and you must have game even in marriage. The risk of infidelity will always be there. There is just no way I can afford to not do PE. I keep getting these crazy visions of me being 10 years older, thinking I'm in a good relationship with a girl, and then coming home from work to see her getting piledrived by some good-looking, well-hung, strong-built alpha stud because my shit could never do the job and I was too quiet/boring. I cannot let that happen. 7nbp is the minimum. I have to make that.

Sounds like your stepping up.

Good man

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Uh women do not stay with men for the sex. Real statistics show they leave and their husbands are so shocked because "our sex life was great". Women, when having an affair, have MORE sex with the husbands at that time. Its when the sex INCREASES that a man should worry lol

The last thing a woman wants to do is leave. Especially when there are children. When there is no abuse of any kind its super hard to leave. There is a book called The Walk Away Wife. Look it up. Its a quick read and if you men can learn about these things you will recognize the signs of the flower wilting and dying.

As far as the question Once a cheater, always a cheater: I hate to say it but I have to agree. I cant stand the thought of that. But I firmly believe no woman or no man will be enough for a cheater until that cheater is rehabilitated. The reasons for cheating have nothing to do with their partner not being good in bed or enough. Its the cheaters fucked up mental state that needs help.

Im not expert but I am old and have lived a really diverse, great life so far. I can tell you what I know is factual for me and my world and that is if you are a man have your own interests. Do not revolve around your woman and do not allow her to revolve around you. Women like to do that but we should not. We need our own interests, life outside the marriage. Make sure the couple has get a ways or time alone away from the children. Even if that is at your own house and kids are taken to a relative for the weekend.

Remember a marriage/committed relationship is a full time job. You must think of it all the time and take care of it.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

She speaks the truth. I just wish she would speak more often.

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

That is very North American though, despite Europe's reputation for sexual liberty if you date someone it is implied and expected that it is exclusive

Now this is something I also agree with.

I believe we both men and women can date multiple people at the same time.

But...

And here is the but...

I believe that everyone should be on the same page. I believe that it should be told upfront that you are doing so.

That you do indeed are dating multiple people and you are having sexual relationships with time.

This is cool by me until you get serious.

Serious as in getting promised or engaged.

Once this step is taken I believe that all other people you were dating previously should be told that you found someone and they should be cut loose so that they will not cause you problems in your new serious relationship.

Ex. If you don't tell the others that you are serious they will not know and will be texting or calling you as to hook up and this will start to upset the partner that you are with. This is an important step as to be honest with everyone.

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

This is cool by me until you get serious.

Serious as in getting promised or engaged.

You think that people can date and sleep with as many people as they like until one of their multiple partners proposes? Honestly that isn't realistic, nobody is going to propose without being exclusive for at least a few months

What you wrote makes sense if you replace "serious as in getting promised or engaged" with "exclusive"

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

Uh women do not stay with men for the sex. Real statistics show they leave and their husbands are so shocked because "our sex life was great". Women, when having an affair, have MORE sex with the husbands at that time. Its when the sex INCREASES that a man should worry lol

The last thing a woman wants to do is leave. Especially when there are children. When there is no abuse of any kind its super hard to leave. There is a book called The Walk Away Wife. Look it up. Its a quick read and if you men can learn about these things you will recognize the signs of the flower wilting and dying.

As far as the question Once a cheater, always a cheater: I hate to say it but I have to agree. I cant stand the thought of that. But I firmly believe no woman or no man will be enough for a cheater until that cheater is rehabilitated. The reasons for cheating have nothing to do with their partner not being good in bed or enough. Its the cheaters fucked up mental state that needs help.

Im not expert but I am old and have lived a really diverse, great life so far. I can tell you what I know is factual for me and my world and that is if you are a man have your own interests. Do not revolve around your woman and do not allow her to revolve around you. Women like to do that but we should not. We need our own interests, life outside the marriage. Make sure the couple has get a ways or time alone away from the children. Even if that is at your own house and kids are taken to a relative for the weekend.

Remember a marriage/committed relationship is a full time job. You must think of it all the time and take care of it.

I do agree with some of the things you are saying here.

But that depends on what kind of up bringing that the woman has had as well.

There are women out there that come from homes that their father's were never there for them. Their fathers were alcoholics, drug addicts, in prison and just never there for their little girls.

These women have grown up not knowing what a loving father is. So in life, they are seeking out that father figure that was never there in there lives.

So now their minds are programed to think that they need a bad boy in their life that was similar to their fathers actions. The sad part is they try and make the guy love them, which never happens, because bad boys don't really give a shit about them, they are just a piece of ass they can get, other things are more important to them.

Usually bad boys are good in bed, because they know how to dirty talk and take charge in the bed room giving the girl what she craves most.

Now if a girl's father was around and very loving and she had a good relationship with him, she will come to look for a better man with out all that drama. And she will be a more confident women and think highly of herself.

This sounds more like the women you are describing in your post.


Ronnie

[second lensman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close second lensman]

A for effort RR. Time to move on.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

Pretty sure a woman would want someone that is not like their father that wasn't there for them.
And bad boys better at sex? Umm ok..

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

You think that people can date and sleep with as many people as they like until one of their multiple partners proposes? Honestly that isn't realistic, nobody is going to propose without being exclusive for at least a few months

What you wrote makes sense if you replace "serious as in getting promised or engaged" with "exclusive"

oh,

One thing I forgot to write in there is this.

once these girls or guys find out you are dating others in the process, that will make them want you more.

Because they want to be the one to win your heart over.

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

Pretty sure a woman would want someone that is not like their father that wasn't there for them.
And bad boys better at sex? Umm ok..

That's what you would expect to think wouldn't it?

But these are proven facts in psychology my friend. Look it up.

Check out a guy name David Shade.

He had things happen to him so he turned to psychology to find out after so many years of marriage and had the perfect wife and live or so he thought and she ended up leaving him for a bad boy.

It's all in the walks of Science why people act a certain way.

It's up to us to learn everything we can so this can help us in our future relationships.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

Just because some david guy had bad experiences and wrote a book doesn't mean it's science and how everyone thinks.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Many people after finding out you are seeing others will just dump your ass and that the guy is a total piece of crap, they dont always try to keep you.

[TheSnitch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheSnitch]

Many people after finding out you are seeing others will just dump your ass and that the guy is a total piece of crap, they dont always try to keep you.

Most will if you make things vague. Girls bring it on themselves, if you try and define the relationship they get their panties in a twist because it ruins their expectation of falling in love and everything working out perfectly, and they slow things down and disconnect from you.

If on the other hand you let them have their expectation, but at the same time you go ahead and sleep with other women, when they get mad, all you have to say is "We never defined out relationship. I thought you were sleeping with other guys. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt you." That's when they decide to make it a relationship, and if that's what you want with that girl and not one of the others you're sleeping with, awesome - it works out.

Girls don't want to rationally define anything, because then they have accountability and that's the one things girls hate - accountability.