Member of the month Jan 2014
Tweet
Hi everyone. It's been a while since I posted about what's been going on in my life.. I thought I'd jot down a few words here to let everybody know what's going on.
Life's been hell, that hasn't changed very much. I'm still under the same roof with the ex-girlfriend but I am getting closer to the date that I will be moving out and going back to New York. I'm still grieving and going through disbelief because of what has happened, but little by little I wake up every morning and my attitude is just that much better.
I've definitely reestablished my relationship with the Lord. I'll try never to lose that again. Prayer is one of my daily mainstays. I'm not pushing religion on anybody, but this is something I need and I'm not ashamed of it.
Little at a time I've been packing and organizing the things that I'll be taking back to New York with me. I was able to sell just a few things, and that money is going towards the cost of my trip. My thanks once again to the people on here who have assisted me in my cause. You are all a great steppingstone for me to begin turning my life around. One bit of advice I have for anyone and everyone, this might sound funny but you'll get the idea, never get caught with your pants down! What I mean by that is always have money tucked away for a rainy day or stormy day. My mom never taught me how to save, so I'm always getting caught with my pants down. I'm also happy to say there is still wonderful good people out there who are so willing to help a stranger but they've never met. So it exists.
The personal situation has become more impersonal. I'm without a vehicle and she hasn't the care in the world that I'm stranded here. One thing about a BPD female, that is in the same position as my ex, is that she feels that she deserves everything. I mean that sincerely. If she didn't spend 85% of her time being nasty and disconnected, we would be a lot happier the day that I leave here. She just doesn't have the same view on reality that a more normal individual would have. I'm not sure if I still love her anymore, and if I do it's probably out of habit. When I made a conscious effort to see her for what she actually is, it's like people who love sharks. No matter how much you love that shark, that shark is never going to love you.
I count my blessings every day, I just don't come out say here are my blessings. But I get to think, live, look forward to what's coming at me in life, and it's clear the things that are my blessings.
I'm still a little short of my goal, I guess I'll always be short, and I should be thankful for what I do have. I do know that I am going to make it! Wonderful people that talk to me via private messages already know that. I'm just so amazed at how widespread this type of issue is. So many people suffer with a loved one that has mind-boggling issues. In the future I will pay this forward, because no one should have to live like I have been living, and even at the end of the relationship, nobody should still have to go through what I'm going through. There are many more ways to help somebody when money is not an option. I have a friend coming down from New York to help me with the move. The effort involved speaks for itself as far as friendship goes. So there are still good good people out there. I'll update this or make a new post after I leave the situation. Feel free to comment, I need all the inspiration and kindness that I can get. If it is one thing I've learned it's that I know so little about life. Thanks to all my friends out there love you all.
Life's been hell, that hasn't changed very much. I'm still under the same roof with the ex-girlfriend but I am getting closer to the date that I will be moving out and going back to New York. I'm still grieving and going through disbelief because of what has happened, but little by little I wake up every morning and my attitude is just that much better.
I've definitely reestablished my relationship with the Lord. I'll try never to lose that again. Prayer is one of my daily mainstays. I'm not pushing religion on anybody, but this is something I need and I'm not ashamed of it.
Little at a time I've been packing and organizing the things that I'll be taking back to New York with me. I was able to sell just a few things, and that money is going towards the cost of my trip. My thanks once again to the people on here who have assisted me in my cause. You are all a great steppingstone for me to begin turning my life around. One bit of advice I have for anyone and everyone, this might sound funny but you'll get the idea, never get caught with your pants down! What I mean by that is always have money tucked away for a rainy day or stormy day. My mom never taught me how to save, so I'm always getting caught with my pants down. I'm also happy to say there is still wonderful good people out there who are so willing to help a stranger but they've never met. So it exists.
The personal situation has become more impersonal. I'm without a vehicle and she hasn't the care in the world that I'm stranded here. One thing about a BPD female, that is in the same position as my ex, is that she feels that she deserves everything. I mean that sincerely. If she didn't spend 85% of her time being nasty and disconnected, we would be a lot happier the day that I leave here. She just doesn't have the same view on reality that a more normal individual would have. I'm not sure if I still love her anymore, and if I do it's probably out of habit. When I made a conscious effort to see her for what she actually is, it's like people who love sharks. No matter how much you love that shark, that shark is never going to love you.
I count my blessings every day, I just don't come out say here are my blessings. But I get to think, live, look forward to what's coming at me in life, and it's clear the things that are my blessings.
I'm still a little short of my goal, I guess I'll always be short, and I should be thankful for what I do have. I do know that I am going to make it! Wonderful people that talk to me via private messages already know that. I'm just so amazed at how widespread this type of issue is. So many people suffer with a loved one that has mind-boggling issues. In the future I will pay this forward, because no one should have to live like I have been living, and even at the end of the relationship, nobody should still have to go through what I'm going through. There are many more ways to help somebody when money is not an option. I have a friend coming down from New York to help me with the move. The effort involved speaks for itself as far as friendship goes. So there are still good good people out there. I'll update this or make a new post after I leave the situation. Feel free to comment, I need all the inspiration and kindness that I can get. If it is one thing I've learned it's that I know so little about life. Thanks to all my friends out there love you all.
.
Comment