Men who masterbate: Ladies Viewpoint

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

One thing about masturbation is that I think some guys rush it because they feel guilty about it. I think that's a really bad thing, and it can lead to sexual problems because the body can get so used to going fast that it has a hard time slowing down to enjoy regular sex when the time comes. If I had one piece of advice for everyone it would be SLOW DOWN and enjoy your solo sex. Practice edging and learn to enjoy the process as much as the ending. And don't feel guilty about any of it!

[calixto ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close calixto]

One thing about masturbation is that I think some guys rush it because they feel guilty about it. I think that's a really bad thing, and it can lead to sexual problems because the body can get so used to going fast that it has a hard time slowing down to enjoy regular sex when the time comes. If I had one piece of advice for everyone it would be SLOW DOWN and enjoy your solo sex. Practice edging and learn to enjoy the process as much as the ending. And don't feel guilty about any of it!

GOOD CALL BATWOMAN!!! I am so guilty of this, I will make an effort to slow it down, but it does take a while anyway already!

Watching your partner masturbate is a great way of learning what he/she likes during sex. For instance, I noticed my girlfriend presses down on her belly when she's masturbating so I started doing that too while I went down on her. The result exceeded my expectations

Good call Veg, I have a hard time convincing her to do this though, she always just wants me in her, gonna make an effort here too, but this effort is more of a convincing her, not myself. hmm.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Watching your partner masturbate is a great way of learning what he/she likes during sex. For instance, I noticed my girlfriend presses down on her belly when she's masturbating so I started doing that too while I went down on her. The result exceeded my expectations

You know, I think that I do that too.... never thought about it before, but you're right. I think pressing down on my lower belly (just above the pubic bone) pulls the skin above the clit tight, and adds to the sensation of whatever is happening to my clit.

As for learning from watching your partner masturbate -- YES YES YES! I have learned a lot about what my man likes from watching him stroke himself. Several things that I never really understood before, like how tight he likes to be gripped (tighter than I would have thought), how much he likes feeling his fingers slide up over the edge of the glans, and how he moves the skin over his shaft when he's hard. Anyway, I LOVE watching him masturbate!

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Good call Veg, I have a hard time convincing her to do this though, she always just wants me in her, gonna make an effort here too, but this effort is more of a convincing her, not myself. hmm.

Try leading by example -- show her what you do, then ask her to show you what she does. That might loosen her up about it.

[doupdoupdoup Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close doupdoupdoup]

The reason in relationships, women may get mad at men masturbating:

Some women might interpret that as a dissatisfied man(an insult)

The men can become different psychologically and socially

Masturbating to other women is one step closer to having sex with other women

Masturbating men might not have enough energy or enthusiasm for their partners

Masturbating men may become energy leeches, they suck all their partner's energies and then just waste them away through masturbation

Masturbating men also become different people, they lose certain aspects of themselves and more susceptible to other unfavorable influences

We invest energetically and spiritually into our partners, so when they do anything to splurge with savings account, or throw our decorations or memories outside into the rain to be spoiled, that is emotionally destabilizing. This is the main reason I feel cheating is wrong. Because if you put a lot of energies into someone and someone else gets rights to you savings account or moves into your home and changes stuff around and puts their feet up on your furniture it taxes the mind and spirit. It depends on what level of interaction a relationship exists on, and what their expectations are in the first place. Now if someone uses that savings account sensibly and respects the fengshui work the partner did and keeps assholes out, it might be a different story. Women masturbating are more likely to be sensible in managing these "intangibles", so often times I feel women are not mad at the masturbating man, but are mad at his disrespect to the "intangibles" held within that relationship.

[mike34 Member Find all posts View Profile Close mike34]

Well for me, I would not care about their point of view because without masturbation, i would not achieve a dry orgasm. haha,

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I just revisited doupdoupdoup's post that seemed to kill this thread. I've decided that part of what bothers me about it is the whole "masturbating men" thing. Don't ALL men masturbate? I don't necessarily mean all the time, but at least sometimes? It just seems weird to me to imagine that there are "non-masturbating" men out there. I expect that there are men who get so much sex that they don't usually feel the need to masturbate, and men who are so stressed and busy that they masturbate very little. But mostly I think perhaps the real distinction is between men who admit that they masturbate, and men who try to pretend that they don't.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Masturbating men may become energy leeches, they suck all their partner's energies and then just waste them away through masturbation

Masturbating men also become different people, they lose certain aspects of themselves and more susceptible to other unfavorable influences

LOL!!! This guy is definitely a very special individual.

[doupdoupdoup Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close doupdoupdoup]

I just revisited doupdoupdoup's post that seemed to kill this thread. I've decided that part of what bothers me about it is the whole "masturbating men" thing. Don't ALL men masturbate? I don't necessarily mean all the time, but at least sometimes? It just seems weird to me to imagine that there are "non-masturbating" men out there. I expect that there are men who get so much sex that they don't usually feel the need to masturbate, and men who are so stressed and busy that they masturbate very little. But mostly I think perhaps the real distinction is between men who admit that they masturbate, and men who try to pretend that they don't.

This one act is probably the main cause of the caste system. If anyone wants to understand what I wrote with a deeper understanding, do your own research, ask any religious teacher, prominent lodge member or spiritual person that you can make you sweat from across the room what their thoughts are on this.

Not all masturbation is bad. But masturbation without smarts does lead to problems for not just a person but people around them too. We all pool our own vibes into the collective local ambient vibe.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

This one act is probably the main cause of the caste system. If anyone wants to understand what I wrote with a deeper understanding, do your own research, ask any religious teacher, prominent lodge member or spiritual person that you can make you sweat from across the room what their thoughts are on this.

Not all masturbation is bad. But masturbation without smarts does lead to problems for not just a person but people around them too. We all pool our own vibes into the collective local ambient vibe.

Huh?

[007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 007]

First off masturbation is a healthy act. for BOTH sexes.

It provides much of the same physiological benefits sex does.

It also is informative, rendering knowledge such as the who/what/where/why of sexual pleasure and your bodies response to it.

It is very much a form of stress relief, and that alone has wide ranging health implications.
It encourages curiocity, exploration, reflextion traits very pertinant in real life application, especially the persuit of knowledge and scientific venues.

It also encourages a relationship with ones self and, can encourage self-love, obviously in a literal sense, but also in an emotional sense...which I believe is crutial to becoming a whole individual rather than a broken one who depends on outside sources, or romantic companions, to fill the voids in their lives. Until you can love yourself, you can never fully love another. Maybe some diagree with such a statement, but what I do observe is that until you are content and happy with yourself by yourself....you'll never be whole, and if your not enough without someone..you'll never be enough with someone, and masturbation can help foster, even if only peripherally, a relation with one's self.

It hurts no-one and is a disease free form of sexual pleasure and release.

It doesn't require slick lines or game playing or texting or expensive outings or begging.

Maybe if teens were encouraged to express their heighted hormonal states through masturbation, we'de have less teen preganancies and std transmission. Some may assume this already to be the case...teens masturbating...but I know I grew up in a household were masturbation was dirty/evil/sinful and in discussion with peers I found out that my environment was not a singularity. Masturbation is still very much stigmatized as disgusting and or wrong.

It seems to me masturbation is beautiful, but it also serves a very important purpose as a release valve. I think that humans need sexual expression and release and for those who do not have access to sexual relations or for those in between relationships, masturbation is there to take up the slack. If your deny yourself sexual pleasure completely a toxicity builds up in your soul...you don't need it every day or even every week, but extreme denial does have negative, real-world effects. I have been around people who are extreme in their abstinance/celibacy views and to me these are not "happy" people.

Masturbation should be encouraged and celebrated. Even if your in a commited loving relationship, there is nothing wrong with either partner masturbating from time to time...it is not some violation, it does not lessen the appeal of the "fruit" of your partner...it is simply taking a little time for yourself, in much the same spirit as lovers sometimes need some alone time away from their companion.

A) this notion of "all" guys doing it is yet another stereotype onto the male sex. granted many males do eventually discover this wonder, but not all males do, there are millions around the world who have never done it. There are many oppressive religions that have given masturbation it's tarnished reputation, and it is not unresponsible to say that there are millions of males who have never had play time and may never try it, mostly due to the brainwashing of organized religion and sexually oppresive environments.

And 2) to say all or most males do it has an inference of lack-of self control and or weakness of mind. And it also hints at primal or basal desire because males do it yet females are not mentioned near as often nor with such sweeping statements, which infers that females are above such compulsions and do not engage in such an act in nearly the numbers that those chest thumpin', knuckle draggin' males do. There is implication of negativity because it is associated as an uncontrollable male vice.

But I would seriously venture to say that the male/female stats here are quite comperable. In fact I love masturbating women, I love to hear them tell me about it..where they like to do it, how often,..and of course I love to watch....love it! I also find, in my own experience, that those girls I've dated who stated they did not masturbate, these girls had more sexual climax problems and were more clingy relationship wise than those who did masturbate. Yes I know exceptions abound, but in general this is true in my experience and really it is not that hard to connect the dots, because if you depend on someone else to provide you an orgasm everytime you want one...well, that sets up an enviroment for co-dependancy.

Females should masturbate and should be proud of it. Nobody should be ashamed of so natural a thing.

[baybabe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close baybabe]

The other day I was rubbing one out (Girls can call it that too right? Ours is more of a rubbing act then when men masturbate anyway right?) anyway, I was thinking about how the inner muscles involuntarily spasm during orgasm and how during the lead-up to orgasm the muscles are tightened purposely because it feels good. What Im thinking is...the more a female masturbates the tighter she is. I bet that if I asked some of the girls who were deemed "Loose" how often they get themselves off, they would say either never or very seldom. My boyfriend is (I love him dearly) on the smaller size of the average scale I hate to say this because I feel like Im insulting him but really. My boyfriend tells me how tight I am, I've had three kids and I know he's not just saying it to make me feel good. Just in case he was, I decided to be my own judge and do more finger play during masturbation. I dont care to put my finger up inside me while I rub on the good part but, I did for Hypothesis sake my finger was completely smothered with the snug walls of the inside of my vagina! I would say, thats pretty tight right, or at LEAST average. Do you guys concur with this statement? If my little middle finger was tightly secured inside me, that is definitely not loose, right or wrong? I dont have my fingers up girls pussy's very often so, Im asking. Bottom line...I think girls masturbating is a tightening exercise.

[Pirate Retired AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Pirate]

The other day I was rubbing one out (Girls can call it that too right? Ours is more of a rubbing act then when men masturbate anyway right?) anyway, I was thinking about how the inner muscles involuntarily spasm during orgasm and how during the lead-up to orgasm the muscles are tightened purposely because it feels good. What Im thinking is...the more a female masturbates the tighter she is. I bet that if I asked some of the girls who were deemed "Loose" how often they get themselves off, they would say either never or very seldom. My boyfriend is (I love him dearly) on the smaller size of the average scale I hate to say this because I feel like Im insulting him but really. My boyfriend tells me how tight I am, I've had three kids and I know he's not just saying it to make me feel good. Just in case he was, I decided to be my own judge and do more finger play during masturbation. I dont care to put my finger up inside me while I rub on the good part but, I did for Hypothesis sake my finger was completely smothered with the snug walls of the inside of my vagina! I would say, thats pretty tight right, or at LEAST average. Do you guys concur with this statement? If my little middle finger was tightly secured inside me, that is definitely not loose, right or wrong? I dont have my fingers up girls pussy's very often so, Im asking. Bottom line...I think girls masturbating is a tightening exercise.

BB! YOU have been missed!
(And, I think, you are correct.)

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Hey baybabe, welcome back!
Agree totally with you. I masturbate a fair bit, and I do a lot of kegels, and I think I am quite tight and toned even after having two large babies.
I think it's "use it or lose it" for ladies too.

[NSF001 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NSF001]

The other day I was rubbing one out (Girls can call it that too right? Ours is more of a rubbing act then when men masturbate anyway right?) anyway, I was thinking about how the inner muscles involuntarily spasm during orgasm and how during the lead-up to orgasm the muscles are tightened purposely because it feels good. What Im thinking is...the more a female masturbates the tighter she is. I bet that if I asked some of the girls who were deemed "Loose" how often they get themselves off, they would say either never or very seldom. My boyfriend is (I love him dearly) on the smaller size of the average scale I hate to say this because I feel like Im insulting him but really. My boyfriend tells me how tight I am, I've had three kids and I know he's not just saying it to make me feel good. Just in case he was, I decided to be my own judge and do more finger play during masturbation. I dont care to put my finger up inside me while I rub on the good part but, I did for Hypothesis sake my finger was completely smothered with the snug walls of the inside of my vagina! I would say, thats pretty tight right, or at LEAST average. Do you guys concur with this statement? If my little middle finger was tightly secured inside me, that is definitely not loose, right or wrong? I dont have my fingers up girls pussy's very often so, Im asking. Bottom line...I think girls masturbating is a tightening exercise.

My dear god...(don't at all read too much into this), buuut do you happen to have a twin sister that masturbates as frequently as you do? If your middle finger was tightly secure inside you, then you are far from being loose. This is about as far as the earth from sun.
If masturbation in women lead to the involuntary contractions (ie: woman kegels) then yeah, I think you have a point here.