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man that is funnyComment
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Here's an ego boost for men. Try your hardest to get into the best physical shape and health you can manage. And when women flock to you - ignore them all. MWahahahaha.
Future owner of a glorious cock.
I'll call it, the thunder dragon.Comment
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So the young 13 year old boy goes to confession.
"Father I have commited the sin of fornication".
"Well my son that is a very serious offense especailly at your young age. Who did you commit this sin with?"
"Father I can't tell you."
"My son it is part of your pennace to tell me"
" I'm sorry Father but I cannot."
' Well was it with Mary Smith?"
"No Father it wasn't."
"Was it with Kathy O'toole?"
"No father not her".
"Was it with Carol Maguire?"
"No Father it wasn't".
" Well I can see that you will not tell me the name of the girl that you have sinned with. For your pennance say 3 decades of the rosary and sin no more."
As the boy leaves the confessional he sees his friend who asks him what he got.
He replied; " I have to say 3 rosaries and I got 3 good leads!"The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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So Father Toadstool is hearing confessions one beautiful Saturday. He looks at his watch and realizes he has to meet Bishop JonPop for a round of golf in 30 minutes. He looks out the door of his confessional and sees a a long line.He knows he'll never make it and the bishop will be pissed. He then sees Steve the maintanice man walking in the church and calls him over.
' Steve I've got to meet the Bishop for golf in 30 minutes and I'll never make it with all the people on my line. You're going to have to take over for me."
" But Father I can't hear confessions; I'm not a preist!"
" Don't worry Steve they'll never know it's you. They can't see through that little window".
" But Father I wouldn't know what pennace to give them."
"Steve it's easy. They come in and tell you their sins and all you have to do is look them up on the chart in the confessional".
He brings Steve into the confessional and shows him the chart on the wall listings all the sins people commit and the pennace assigned to them.
" See Steve it's easy. Now take over or the Bishop will be pissed".
With that the priest leaves and Steve takes over. As the people come in, say their sins, Steve begins to find it very easy to look at the chart and give the right pennace. He actually feels he's getting good at it.
Finally a woman comes in and confesses to the sin of oral sex. He looks at the chart and finds that oral sex isn't on the list. He begins to get nevous as he knows it's important and he must give out the correct pennace. Finally is a mo,ent of despair he opens the confessional door and sees the little altar boy Dem walking by. He call him over.
" Dem what does Father Toadstool give for oral sex?".
The altar boy replied; " Usaully 2 bucks and a Snickers bar!"The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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So a 13 year old boy complains to his parents that his penis is too small,
his father takes a look in the bathroom and reluctantly agrees, it is so small you WOULD need a magnifying glass to see it.
The boys parents take him to his doctor, who takes a look, and says "aaahh yes, a micro penis,
give him bagels with cream cheese daily and it should grow long, thick, and healthy."
The next morning the boy wakes up for breakfast and comes into the kitchen.
In front of him on the table sits a stack of 12 bagels, and a large slab of cream cheese,
the boy shocked asks his mother, "Do I have to eat all of this?" his mother says
"No no dear, take one bagel, a sliver of cream cheese, and the rest is for your father."( I have never recorded my progress, but I have never forgotten where I started. )
Before ever starting PE 2010: BPEL:6", EG:4.3"-4.4"
As of 6/14/13: NBPEL:6.9", BPEL:7.3", MEG:4.9" BEG:5.3"
Goal: NBPEL:7.5", MEG:5.5", BEG: 5.5"+Comment
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A woman goes to her doctor. The doctor asks her what the problem is. She says it's her husband. "What's a matter with your husband?" the doctor asks.
"He's a hobo sexual!" says the woman.
"Don't you mean 'homosexual?'" replies the doctor.
"No, I mean hobo sexual. He's a bum fuck!"
(Rimshot)Comment
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A woman goes to her doctor. The doctor asks what the problem is.
"I don't know, Doctor," replies the woman, "I feel kind of nauseated all the time, especially when I get up in the morning."
"Well," says the doctor, "let's do some tests to see what might be causing this."
The doctor has some blood drawn and a while later comes back to the exam room.
"Well," says the doctor, "I have news for you. You are pregnant!"
"Oh Doctor," says the woman, "that can't be. My husband is in the military and has been in Afghanistan for over nine months."
"Well," says the doctor, "it must be a grudge baby."
"A grudge baby?" replies the woman, "what's that?"
The doctor replies, "It seems that someone had it in for your husband."
(Rimshot)Comment
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The other day I backed up a bit with my car not realizing there was a car behind me. Yup I gave him a bump alright. It was a brand new Cadillac. I got out to ascertain the damage and it wasn't too bad. I was thankful that no one was in the car, or so I thought, and was just going to write a note for the owner to contact me. My heart stopped when I saw the driver side door open. Man this guy is gonna be pissed.
As the door opened this little short midget dwarf guy got out. I thought to myself I can handle this guy if he wants to fight. He surveys the damage , looks at me and says;
" I'm not happy!"
I said " then which one are you?"The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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Lol nice Easter eggOriginally posted by Padawan787 View PostGoogle has been zerg rushed lol
just Google "zerg rush" to see
( I have never recorded my progress, but I have never forgotten where I started. )
Before ever starting PE 2010: BPEL:6", EG:4.3"-4.4"
As of 6/14/13: NBPEL:6.9", BPEL:7.3", MEG:4.9" BEG:5.3"
Goal: NBPEL:7.5", MEG:5.5", BEG: 5.5"+Comment
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Admin of the Month Dec 2014
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