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I dont always give a woman an orgasm, but when I do she usually spits it out.
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Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before -
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Priest and a Rabbi walk past a playground with kids on it.
Priest says, "Let's screw the kids!"
Rabbi says, "Outta' what?"Comment
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Invitation
We are hosting a charity concert
for people who struggle to reach orgasm.
If you can't come, let us know.Last edited by Mikes Mrs; 08-27-2012, 10:51 AM.Comment
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sounds like a Ritchard Prior joke ha haComment
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Reminds me of this old one from a friend: "We're having a blow job contest this weekend and hoping you can't make it so that someone else may have a chance to win.:Originally posted by XitemeM View Post
It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.- K.Popper
Strength is the outcome of need, security sets a premium on feebleness.-Wells
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A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench
coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'Last edited by Mikes Mrs; 08-28-2012, 03:46 AM.Comment
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate
any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,'What would you say
if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher
smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have
to write the exam with your other hand.'Last edited by Mikes Mrs; 08-28-2012, 04:07 AM.Comment
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LittleJohnny!
"Class, today's assignment is to spell and
Use the word 'DOUGH' in a sentence."
Teacher says "Jane, you go first"
Dough, D O U G H..
"Italians make pizza with dough.."
Very good, Jane... Now let's hear from Mary.
Dough, D O U G H.
"My brother makes things with play dough."
Very good, Mary...
"Yes, Johnny, do you have something constructive to add?
"My mom says my dad doesn't make enough dough,
And he's bloody hopeless in bed,so she uses a dill dough!"
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The Olympics
A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but
as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece.
In those days believe it or not the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on
drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade Gedophamee observed the first wave of
naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed: " OH!! Limp Pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into " Olympics".
I've got a Tiger by the tail.Comment
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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.
Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.' Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.
'Shoite,
Shoite !'
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
'Bi' Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it' and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'
Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?'
'Mick phoned . . .. You left your wheelchair at the pub.'
I've got a Tiger by the tail.Comment
rest is funny!
I like that one
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