A Laugh for the Forum

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Ammunition Is Getting Scarce ...



This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.
On the way home, I stopped at the gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous
blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

She looked at the ammo in the back of my Jeep Grand Cherokee and said in a very
sexy voice, "I'm a true believer in barter, big boy".
"Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought a few seconds and asked her, "what kinda ammo ya got???”

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Ammunition Is Getting Scarce ...



This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.
On the way home, I stopped at the gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous
blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

She looked at the ammo in the back of my Jeep Grand Cherokee and said in a very
sexy voice, "I'm a true believer in barter, big boy".
"Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought a few seconds and asked her, "what kinda ammo ya got???”

YES!!!! lol

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/gP...j1_bKqrKCyzu0I
How does the song go? I'm only human, of flesh and blood and made......

[ninja_42 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ninja_42]

#556

YES!!!! lol

Agreed! Awesome joke JP!

[evarolla Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close evarolla]

nice jokes man really got me rolling & laughing out loud ))))

[imac Retired Moderator Member of the Month Nov 12PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close imac]

The Bagpiper.

As a bagpiper, I’m often called upon to play at weddings, military events, and funerals. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. The man had no family or friends, so
the service was set at the county pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back woods.

I was not familiar with the backwoods and soon found myself lost. Being a typical man I didn’t stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late – the staff from the funeral home was long gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down. The vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know
what else to do, so I started to play….

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep.

They wept. I wept. We all wept together.

When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car.

Though my head hung low my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

Imac you are killing me. Love it!

[imac Retired Moderator Member of the Month Nov 12PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close imac]

If I had 10 cookies and you took half.
Do you know what you'd have?

That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

If I had 10 cookies and you took half.
Do you know what you'd have?

That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

He/she must be a Latin Lad/Lass.

[alyosha Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close alyosha]

You get the picture. Still grinning. Also Ex-wife not quite so friendly I can relate

[Funnypop Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Funnypop]

Lol.

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

THE GOLFING NUN........ A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!' 'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!' 'Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted... and it hits a bird in mid-flight!' 'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!' 'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'

[Frog Senior Member Member of the Month March 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close Frog]

fuunyOutlet.jpg

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

[ATTACH]22161[/ATTACH]

I just love it!!!!

[Looking4more Retired Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Looking4more]

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