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That is hilarious Toadstool...lmfao!
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On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation
who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation,
handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder,
warned,
"This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and
then say '1-2-3.'" When you do, you will become more manly than you
have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How
do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say
'1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not
work again until the next full moon." He was very eager to see if it
worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the
medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When
she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately,
he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing
off her clothes and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And
that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
preposition,
because we could end up with a dangling participle.
I've got a Tiger by the tail.Comment
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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LOL, these are awesome, keep them coming.A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"Last edited by JuliusS; 04-25-2013, 07:17 AM.Comment
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Adventure Time creator and Doctor Tran creator working on the same series, that is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc--PXN41xcComment
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You know you are too drunk to drive when the tree you just swerved to avoid was your air freshener.Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than beforeComment
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Thanks BigO. That one made me laugh.
I've got a Tiger by the tail.Comment
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Not as good as the 1234, that just made my wife laugh. She even paused the bachelor for it!
Glad I made ya smile.Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than beforeComment
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Bondage.
Some people call it domestic violence.
We call it foreplay.
Got cuffs? GAME ON!
My routine and gains.
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Hey SLU; this one's for you'
What's a rednecks last words?
Hold my beer honey and watch this!
( hey can we ever have another " talk like a redneck day"?)The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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Be a reflection of what you'd like to see in others.
If you want love, give love.
If you want honesty, give honesty.
If you want respect, give respect.
You get in return, what you give.
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steriotype2.jpgStereotype ?
Starting Stats: 24/12/2012
BPEL 5.775'' now 6.00''
NBPEL 5.125''
BEG 5.00'' now 5.125''
MSEG 4.775'' now 4.875''
TSEG 4.5'' now 4.775''
Short term 6 month goal
BPEL 6.5''
MSEG 5''Comment
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Do y'all know why rednecks have sex doggie style?
So they can both watch NASCAR at the same time.
I've got a Tiger by the tail.Comment
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I enjoy a good knockout in boxing,what makes it most enjoyable, it's not me getting hit!
Imagination expands the mindComment
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