You don't beg for respect

[HansTwilight Retired ModeratorPE Gym Editor Member of the Month Jan 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close HansTwilight]

I agree! You can beg all day for respect. No matter the situation. But if a person has already decided they aren't going to give it there's no use in keeping up in close relationship with that person. Learning how to give and receive respect, first one must respect ones own self.

Right, I brought up the manipulation concept because I have been a victim of it and have dealt with Machiavellian bosses who were ruthless into getting what they wanted. You can’t reason with them either, it was really draining and trying to get their respect was like freezing Hell over.

[Wildflower Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wildflower]

Its too bad. If people remembered where they came from, (because no one ever starts on top, SHOOT i'm not at the top.) More bosses like my own would be held with much higher levels of respect. I've been very lucky to have her as a mentor. I've had crappy bosses like the ones you mentioned. And it was painful for me to want to follow any direction they gave. Did i do it? Yes, because my parents raised me better than to not, unless of course it was breaking my own moral code. Either way how much more would people want to work hard for some one if they knew that the boss was a boss worth respecting and visa versa. I know for my kiddos it's worked the same way. They automatically respect me because i'm mommy and that's social norm. however when they started to learn the idea that we can show love by showing respect, two out of the three did phenomenally better.. now my third. She's just a pain in the ass like me and she'll probably have to go to the school of hard knocks a few times... like me before she gets it. Oh well, we all learn at are own pace. lol

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Respect starts within. This is very true. Unfortunately so does the definition of respect. So because my definition is different than most or all i often feel disrespected. I can illustrate with factual evidence all the reasons i should be respected and still hecause most dont care about those facts i will be disrespected.

Conversely because of this I see others behaviors and actions and I feel justified in disrespecting them. Others feel justified in disrespecting me. So no, just because I earn respect doesn't mean I will receive it. You niether.

[User4286 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close User4286]

Well yes.

Here is the thing you can deserve respect you can earn it but that doesn't mean you get it . Now the only options I seem to hear of are ignoring it , pissing the person out of your life ,or violence .

Anyone got other options?

When I'm in such situations I try my best to stay confident and don't fight back. Because when you fight back you harm the other. Sometimes people don't know what they're doing and in my experience I can't hurt another without hurting myself.

Well, up to to a certain point. And then I'm still figuring out how to handle the situation. At the moment I only try to use intuitive flair to figure out how far I need to go. But the most important thing is to stay cool.

Developing trust in the truth helps also.

[Wildflower Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wildflower]

Respect starts within. This is very true. Unfortunately so does the definition of respect. So because my definition is different than most or all i often feel disrespected. I can illustrate with factual evidence all the reasons i should be respected and still hecause most dont care about those facts i will be disrespected.

Conversely because of this I see others behaviors and actions and I feel justified in disrespecting them. Others feel justified in disrespecting me. So no, just because I earn respect doesn't mean I will receive it. You niether.

Id like to hear more about this Wishful, How do you feel most respected? I understanding youre saying it feels like your definition of respect varries from most, so id be interested in understanding what that means to you.

I seem to be causesing more confrontation than usual today, lol not my intention. So i ask out of curiosity.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Thanks Wildflower. I'm exhausted and heading to bed. I will find time tomorrow to delve into this a little deeper.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

For instance.
The phrase "she is a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man to support her". I disrespect this concept. I feel it is much stronger to give up our independence and rely on each other.
In the same bien I completely disrespect men who try to bed a lot of women and then turn around and expect a wife who is a virgin.
We should all save ourselves for the one we love. I find it much stronger and more respectable to do this in a society of two. Then also I extrapolate that concept onto society as a whole. If we each worked for the betterment of each other I find that respectable. Instead it is respected to take care of ourselves first, even to the detriment of others.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

I honestly could care less of what people think, whether they respect me or not, or whatever. I know it may sound cliche-ish, but I've learned that people will think what they want about you and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

No matter how hard you try to win respect, a person's perspective of you is what guides them. People can be just downright mean and nasty, yet, somehow, are looked on in reverence and respect. Yet, there are those on the exact opposite end of the spectrum, that'll break their backs to help you and go out of their way to show kindness and handle themselves with complete decorum, and they're disrespected, treated like garbage and taken for granted. Seen it enough and experienced it enough to know it's a fact. People are fickle. When you accept that fact, your life will be easier.

Someone else in the thread mentioned that respects starts within and that's 100% correct. You do YOU and try not to worry about whatever else anyone else thinks. Let your actions be your calling card. The only people in my life that I truly give a damn about what they think of me are my kids and my girlfriend. Past that, it's whatever. If they respect, cool. If not, cool too. The rest can kick rocks for all I care.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Something come to mind like when people say well done and give you a pat on the back is a way of showing respect, all very simple in its way, but its shows respect.

Getting Ticks on some sites is another way of giving respect for the way you have answered a question.

There must be loads of ways other than above, but you should never expect respect from anyone.

NOWHARD

[User4286 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close User4286]

Remember sometimes people are valuable. And sometimes such people were even chased.

When the first persons discovered that the earth is round and not flat they had a lot of enemies... .

[Wildflower Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wildflower]

For instance.
The phrase "she is a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man to support her". I disrespect this concept. I feel it is much stronger to give up our independence and rely on each other.
In the same bien I completely disrespect men who try to bed a lot of women and then turn around and expect a wife who is a virgin.
We should all save ourselves for the one we love. I find it much stronger and more respectable to do this in a society of two. Then also I extrapolate that concept onto society as a whole. If we each worked for the betterment of each other I find that respectable. Instead it is respected to take care of ourselves first, even to the detriment of others.

Even to the detriment of others... are very strong words to use. How must one gain respect from another if one is not willing to give courteous respect in return? K agree we must 1st learn to hold respect for ourselves, our bodies and our minds. That has many fasions of look. However, how are u to expect respect if you are not willing to give it as well?

As far as men verses womens sexuality. Past judgments do infacct define a person, however at what point is a man capable of earning said respect back and how does that look? Do you feel that its even possible to earn respect back? Not that i disagree with being capable of saving onse self for anotther but in reality that is very rare. You already know that when proqctive and i first started dating i requested we wait. However that has changed now id be happy to explain why in another post. That to say, i agree however things happen and things change does that mame a man or woman more or less respectable in your eyes?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Even to the detriment of others... are very strong words to use. How must one gain respect from another if one is not willing to give courteous respect in return? K agree we must 1st learn to hold respect for ourselves, our bodies and our minds. That has many fasions of look. However, how are u to expect respect if you are not willing to give it as well?

As far as men verses womens sexuality. Past judgments do infacct define a person, however at what point is a man capable of earning said respect back and how does that look? Do you feel that its even possible to earn respect back? Not that i disagree with being capable of saving onse self for anotther but in reality that is very rare. You already know that when proqctive and i first started dating i requested we wait. However that has changed now id be happy to explain why in another post. That to say, i agree however things happen and things change does that mame a man or woman more or less respectable in your eyes?

If I give you courteous respect according to my definition but it doesn't look like courteous respect according to your definition, will you feel respected? No. However I have no other way to show you courteous respect. So you feel disrespected and then so do i.

Waiting as you and Proactive did, and then progressing into a sexual relationship as your bond grew stronger is very respectable, respectful. It is hard to discus these issues in this way, but sex and sexuality are very small parts of what I am discussing. Your current example is full of respect. If the bond breaks that doesn't change. The conditions were, and the respect remains.

If he pushed for sex and pushed for sex with many others, but then despised you and all the others for letting him have sex with you, or vice versa. Then no respect is present. You can't be respectful, nor respectable when filled with hypocrasy. One needs to be judged by ones own judgements. Otherwise there is no respect possible.

It is inherently important to understand what someone else needs if you intend to offer them something. This includes their definition of respect. Otherwise it will have the opposite response.

[Wildflower Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wildflower]

If I give you courteous respect according to my definition but it doesn't look like courteous respect according to your definition, will you feel respected? No. However I have no other way to show you courteous respect. So you feel disrespected and then so do i.

Waiting as you and Proactive did, and then progressing into a sexual relationship as your bond grew stronger is very respectable, respectful. It is hard to discus these issues in this way, but sex and sexuality are very small parts of what I am discussing. Your current example is full of respect. If the bond breaks that doesn't change. The conditions were, and the respect remains.

If he pushed for sex and pushed for sex with many others, but then despised you and all the others for letting him have sex with you, or vice versa. Then no respect is present. You can't be respectful, nor respectable when filled with hypocrasy. One needs to be judged by ones own judgements. Otherwise there is no respect possible.

It is inherently important to understand what someone else needs if you intend to offer them something. This includes their definition of respect. Otherwise it will have the opposite response.

To summarise. To be able to hold respect and gain respect form either party. One must first understand what respect looks lime for another and work to focus showing those ways of respect to that specifict individual. Ei: you cant hold relationship in any form withh out first getting to mnow some ones character and personal needs. I couldnt agree me. (Youre not that off base just a heads up. :-) )

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

To summarise. To be able to hold respect and gain respect form either party. One must first understand what respect looks lime for another and work to focus showing those ways of respect to that specifict individual. Ei: you cant hold relationship in any form withh out first getting to mnow some ones character and personal needs. I couldnt agree me. (Youre not that off base just a heads up. :-) )

Hmm well one would expect it would help .
However in the general context it is well understood how to act to show some respect .