Redefining Masculinity – Is it Time?

[Grim Reaper Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Grim Reaper]

I agree Namso...however, what do we say to the young boy whose father (or other relatives) tell him to "stop being a pussy" or "be a man"? He is likely to be ill-equipped to handle such admonishments, especially from a loved one.

the father just loves his son, but in the real way . he doesnt want his son to get his heart broken by a woman later in his life. my parents never taught me any of this, and i never gave a shit about what they said in the first place but if my parents taught me all this from early childhood it might have spared me countless beat ups and humiliations since childhood, not for not being a man, which no child can normally be at that age, but just for being a regular little boy, so i decided to step up and give much more trouble to others than i got so i wouldnt feel like a fucking victim. all these years proving to others that im a fucking man, which obviously wasnt necessary to be a man in the first place.
can't count how many things i wish i didnt do or happened differently but im still proud to be able to call myself a man, unlike huge majority of kids growing up but i wouldnt dare call myself a man if i never stood up to females, for my friends and for a random gay kid on the bus station who was being harassed by a group of teenage girls.

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

I agree Namso...however, what do we say to the young boy whose father (or other relatives) tell him to "stop being a pussy" or "be a man"? He is likely to be ill-equipped to handle such admonishments, especially from a loved one.

No TPW, I think your looking at it wrong. It's not the men but the women who have caused this. They raise their kids to be "nice boys"; they have no idea what a "real man" is. They transfer their feminist thoughts to their children. I grew up without a dad, however I can see my friends who have dads. It's their mom who is responsible for raising them since their dads have to work long hours. The same thing also happens with overbearing fathers but it's not in the majority of cases however it's very common. I have a friend who is so girly he makes me wonder if he is gay sometimes. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the point I'm trying to make is that he had an overbearing father who used to beat him as a kid.

Why do you think so many guys are afraid of approaching girls these days? No, it's not wired in our minds, it's the fact that they are afraid of how women will react, they're afraid of being perceived as perverts. They're afraid that she will say something and some guys will come and kick their ass. It is also because women act like they're above everyone else and the guys don't wanna humiliate themselves by talking to them. Even if they manage to say something they always act like a wuss around women. And what is behind all of this? Glad you asked, FEMINISM!

You can't solve this problem by making men even less masculine which is what you're doing even though it didn't start out that way. I suggest you start by admitting that women are mostly behind all of this. I'm not suggesting that all women are like this but it seems to be catching on quite fast. I believe the aim of this discussion should be finding out what a real man is; the one we have lost touch with for so long since the rise of the evil feminism.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

This thread is turning a little negative, which I'm sure wasn't the intention.

I don't believe women are solely behind this, as it is the men who are telling boys to "man up". And other boys who harshly judge their peers actions as not being manly, as well as the females.

If anything, it is society as a whole who, through acceptance of such behavior, has encouraged a strict line between either/or. Man or not.

Who are we to say what is a definition of a man for others? We can define it for ourselves, and pull certain characteristics of those around us into that definition that we admire. Whether they be fathers, uncles, brothers, teachers, etc. And we can encourage those traits for our youth, in an effort to pass along what we have learned.

Down talking or subjugating women, or people in general, won't make a man.

Toadstool had a great thread about manhood, https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/645...r-manhood.html. Worth a read for those interested.

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

This thread is turning a little negative, which I'm sure wasn't the intention.

I don't believe women are solely behind this, as it is the men who are telling boys to "man up". And other boys who harshly judge their peers actions as not being manly, as well as the females.
.

Well, I don't see any negativity here so it is you who perceives it that way. I believe that women are victims of the evils of feminism as well. They are no longer as feminine as they used to be and losing touch with your femininity is as terrible for a woman as losing masculinity is for a man. It is mostly women who are carrying on the feminist movement, not men. Do you know why guys tell their peers to "man up"? It's because they have no idea what being a man is. You don't tell someone to "man up", you show it with your actions.

If anything, it is society as a whole who, through acceptance of such behavior, has encouraged a strict line between either/or. Man or not.

Again, not society in general, FEMINISTS.

Who are we to say what is a definition of a man for others? We can define it for ourselves, and pull certain characteristics of those around us into that definition that we admire. Whether they be fathers, uncles, brothers, teachers, etc. And we can encourage those traits for our youth, in an effort to pass along what we have learned.

Who are we? Seriously? What do you think qualifies a person to give his opinion? I will answer that for you, HE HAS TO BE A PERSON. If we are so incapable of defining ourselves as men, who should we turn to? Women? I don't think so. I got this one. I have given my opinion on the traits a man should possess in one of the posts on this thread. I suggest everyone does that and I'm sure we're all gonna pretty much come up with similar answers, because deep down we all know what being a man is. We just don't act like it.

Down talking or subjugating women, or people in general, won't make a man.

Toadstool had a great thread about manhood, https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/645...r-manhood.html. Worth a read for those interested.

If you read carefully you will see that no one has been disrespected. We are adults who are discussing a matter. Anything that's been said is hypothetical and not directed at anyone or group in particular.

I did take a look at that link and it's all from the "On being a man" seminar by David Deangelo i talked about earlier. I watched it years ago and it was amazing to say the least. I think it would be nice if Toad had given the man some credit.

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

There are different perceptions what being a "real" man is. There are the "assholes", the "nice guys" and the "in between guys". I would much rather be with the guy who is nice and in between.


20 characteristics of a the ultimate man
1. A man treats women with respect. If you don’t respect women, you’re not a man. Period.
2. A man understands that greater happiness lies in helping others, not helping himself.
3. A man doesn’t stand still while the world passes him by, he continually pushes himself.
4. A man is a leader in at least one aspect of his life, whether this means his family, with his friends or just in general. But he can also follow. The world wouldn’t work if everyone was trying to lead in everyaspect of life.
5. You can depend on a man. You can’t depend on a boy.
6. “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” ~ Galileo Galilei
A man is proud, often to a fault. He doesn’t “change” but rather evolves. Ladies, don’t try and change your man, but let him evolve into the man he’s meant to be.
7. A man doesn’t need to be able to fight or to protect himself and his family physically. But it helps. Hedoes however need to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.
8. A man lives for something; a purpose beyond his own personal gains. This can come with time, and with family. It doesn’t always happen right away.
9. “Many of the greatest accomplishments of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
A man gets depressed, he gets sad, he thinks about quitting and folding, but he never does. He pushes through adversity.
10. “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” ~ Louis Nizer
A man has faults. It’s important to understand this.
11. A man can laugh at himself.
12. A man takes pride in how he looks and lives his life. He’s not ashamed by who he is, what he does or how he looks, even if he’s trying to change one of the aforementioned.
If you are, here’s a great resource to help you change that –> Click Here
13. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Men learn what is truly important over time. If they’re lucky, they’ll have a sense of it early on.
14. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~ Oscar Wilde
If a man finds someone special, he doesn’t treat her like she’s everyone else.
15. A man has fears, but he isn’t ruled by them.
16. A man learns from his mistakes. Although he might take a few cracks at it.
17. A man does what is necessary. Even if it’s the hardest decision, or the most unpopular one.
18. A man can appreciate the greatness that is ‘The Gladiator’.
19. A man thrives on competition.
20. “For a man to achieve all that is expected of him, he must regard himself greater than he is.” ~ Johann Wolfgang

20 Characteristics of a Real Man | be Legendary

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

No TPW, I think your looking at it wrong.

Hey Kirkoloft,

I am more than aware that mothers have also resorted to using "be a man" on their unsuspecting and undeserving sons. It is why I also stated ...and other relatives. The only reason I stated fathers was it was a more applicable comparison to Namso's original comment about men telling other men to "be a man."

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

I find it very interesting how this thread - whose original purpose was to bring awareness about the issue of masculinity - quickly dissolved into anger, hatred and blame. Now of course not all posts resorted to rants but many did.

I guess when we think about it, we shouldn't be too surprised because this is exactly what is currently happening in society, isn't it? Too many are focused on who or what is to blame for the problem with too few offering real solutions. What to do? What to do?

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I wasn't speaking directly to you Kirko, simply stating a general opinion, as you have done.

I felt that some of the statements made here were casting women as a whole in a negative light, ultimately holding them solely responsible for actions not entirely their own. And the said treatment of them to feel manly seemed less than productive at achieving that goal.

I say society, because we all have a part to play in the fault, and the resolution. Feminists may have a place in the negative effect, but so do the fathers and peers with their comments.

The thread by Toad was brought up because it encompasses exactly what you wanted to do. Individual personal lists of characteristics that members found to be positive traits of a man. Like I said, worth a read.

I agree that being mature adults discussing a topic makes for a much more productive conversation. We can only be offended if we misinterpret the intent.

[mcpecker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mcpecker]

TPW, I did a lot of finger pointing here, but offered no solutions. I believe the entire system that is set up to subjugate us (see my earlier posts) are necessarily using a perverted view of the masculine and feminine energy to fuel its agenda.

There are pure energies that exist inside all of us as divine sparks. These energies, the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine, are opposite, but complimentary. They are pure and wholesome, and support the partnership between those within a family unit. Everyone has both Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine energies as part of their makeup.

Here's an interesting take on the Divine Masculine that hopefully offers both a positive view of the challenge we've all created for ourselves, and some ideas on how to awaken the pure masculine energy that so positively can affect the world.

How To Awaken The Divine Masculine Within You by Teal Swan: The Spiritual Catalyst

Quoted below (written by a woman):

In our modern society, masculinity has been seen as a problem rather than something that should be embraced because it is rare that any man exhibits true masculinity. The only example of masculinity we currently have is the shadow side of masculinity. The time has come for men to allow the divine masculine within them, to surface. Want to know how?

Regardless of whether we are male or female, we all have divine masculine and divine feminine energy within us. It is beneficial to draw on these energies within ourselves whenever they serve us. But it is especially important that we release resistance to the essence of the specific gender that we chose for this life. As it applies to men, the path of self-actualization asks that those who were born male, embrace and express their masculine essence.

In our modern society, masculinity has been seen as a problem rather than something that should be embraced, because it is rare that any man exhibits true masculinity. The only example of masculinity we currently have is the shadow side of masculinity. This shadow side of masculinity fuels the societal idea of competitive hierarchy. In other words, it fuels the idea that one person on top of another person. The shadow side of masculinity perpetuates vertical thinking. Vertical thinking is comparative thinking; where it is possible to be better than or less than someone else. And so, the power struggle was born. And so were the Abrahamic religions. The Abrahamic religions replaced the traditional view of divine balance in the universe (which up to that point had been represented by god and goddess) with a solo male god. When a solo, male god became the source of life and hope for salvation, the feminine characteristics of fertility, creation and life were now seen as masculine qualities and femininity held no more cards. It was diminished. The result is that for thousands of years, men who succumbed to the shadow side of masculinity (not those who embraced divine masculine) ruled the earth. The men that ruled the earth, ruled with domination, control and patriarchy; things that have nothing to do with divine masculinity.

Divine masculine represents action, direction, movement, responsibility, strength, focus, fatherhood, the sun, generosity, encouragement, material abundance, clarity, intellect, transformation and growth. The divine masculine is what is going to support the birth process of the new earth, which is being brought into manifestation by divine feminine. Thus, the new earth is a co-creation that depends on divine feminine and divine masculine both coming into its full respective power. To allow the divine masculine within yourself to surface, search for these aspects within yourself. Every Man is a unique expression of the divine masculine. Therefore, coming into alignment with the divine masculine within you is not about conforming to an archetypal idea of what divine masculine is or isn’t. It is about releasing the things that disallow your own unique masculine essence from radiating through you. It is about re claiming who you really are. Ask yourself, “is there any part of the traditional male gender role that I actually enjoy”? For example, do you enjoy going to the gym? Or do you go to the gym because you think you’re not good enough if you’re too skinny or too fat?

Most men associate masculinity with being a jerk and hurting people. Even though hurting people has nothing to do with masculinity. The goal for you, as a man, is to awaken the highest aspect of masculinity within yourself, not to become testosterone driven, competitive, egomaniacs. It just so happens that the standard example of the “masculine man” is the man whose divine masculinity is drowning in shadow aspects. In our society, the typical masculine man is also known as “the asshole”. A person most men don’t want to be. But it is because of this association with masculinity that most men don’t want to embrace their masculinity. You throw the baby out with the bath water, which is understandable because the only version of masculinity you see, is not an actual version of masculinity.

Here are some suggestions, which will help you tap into your own divine masculine:

1. Explore, question and heal your ideas and feelings towards fatherhood and towards your own father. It does not matter whether or not you actually want kids; most men still have unhealthy ideas and feelings about fatherhood, which need to be healed. Your first introduction to the divine masculine is your father. If you have resistance to your father, you have resistance to the divine masculine within you. This means that one of the most important parts of the process of coming into your own masculine essence is to examine and heal the relationship between you and your father. For some of you, this will feel like a tall order a tall order but don’t worry; this does not mean that you have to take action to re connect with your father. Your father does not even have to be alive in order to heal your relationship with him. What you do need to do is separate yourself from your father so you can shed off all the damaging ideas he passed on to you and set yourself free from him. You will find that once you distance yourself mentally and emotionally from him, You can learn to be yourself and only then can you make peace with your father. Only then can you truly embody the divine masculine within you.



2. Examine the current perception of manhood in your family and in your culture. Is your concept of masculinity benefitting you? Examine what you learned while you were growing up about what it meant to be male. Examine the traditional gender roles and associations with masculinity on your culture. This will vary even from culture to culture in your own country. For example, where I live in America the traditional role of being male entails:

1. Being the provider
2. Protecting and defending women and children
3. Managing money
4. Either playing or watching sports or both
5. Being the head of the household
6. Responsibility
7. Strength
8. Hunting
9. Weaponry
10. Gaining power
11. Being a husband
12. Being a father
13. Not expressing fears/other emotions (especially not crying)
14. Having a successful career
15. Achievements
16. Owning a nice car
17. Building or maintaining fitness and physical prowess
18. Being able to fix things
19. Doing the manual labor jobs around the house
20. Opening doors for women
21. Doing the heavy lifting for women
22. Shaving facial hair or deliberately growing it out
23. Standing up for yourself and others
24. Keeping your hair short
25. Confrontation
26. Being goal oriented

After you examine what it means in your family and culture to be male, decide what parts of that you connect with and enjoy and what parts you do not. Which ones do you personally feel reflect the divine masculine within you and which ones do you personally feel suppress it? The answer will be different for all men, because the divine masculine expresses itself in different ways.

3. Embrace forward movement. Imagine you were watching your life third person. Imagine following yourself for a day in your life. Are there areas of your life where you feel stagnation? What choices could you make (and enact) right now to bring forward movement into those areas of your life? Masculinity is all about direct, forward moving energy. When you make a decision, you open the door to what you want and close the door to what you don’t want. This prevents you from scattering your energy in different directions. It ensures that your vital energy will move in one direction with force and direction, like a missile locked on a target. A big part of moving forward is the willingness to take risks and learn how to turn mistakes into beneficial lessons to propel you forward even faster. Stagnation is the opposite of masculine energy. When you are unwilling to make mistakes, you stagnate and the divine masculine energy within you becomes suppressed. No more hiding from fears. If you’re committed to embracing your masculinity, it is time to face your fears head on.

4. Adopt a confident posture. Confidence is forward moving energy. Your confidence will naturally make your body language and posture change; but what most people don’t know is that you can deliberately use confident body language and posture to create mental confidence. Stand up straight and tall with your shoulders back and your chest exposed.. Walk with purpose. Look at people in the eye and hold your body in a posture that exudes purpose. Everything about masculinity is direct. This type of posture is quite different than using posture that is defensive. Divine masculinity does not actually manifest in the body as closed defensiveness (which is what many of us identify as masculine… we’ve all seen the gorilla guy at the gym). Masculine energy is not a wall, instead it is very open, and it rushes forward to meet you. Making sure your posture reflects masculinity goes hand in hand with making sure your clothes reflect masculinity. Wear clothes that fit you. If you are drowning in your clothes, you will naturally feel smaller and this can diminish masculine energy. Take a look at your wardrobe. Does your current personal style reflect who you want to be (which is who you really are)? Or does it reflect someone you don’t want to be any longer? Does it make you feel powerful and progressive? Or does it make you feel young, small and stagnant? If your personal style does not reflect the masculinity within you, it is time to change your personal style.

5. Be an active giver. Masculinity is not a passive receiver of love. It is an active giver of love. This means, learn how to initiate. Be a transmitter. Masculinity is generous; it isn’t stingy with itself or with its resources. This applies to sex as well. Masculine is to sexuality what feminine is to sensuality. Channel your sexual energy instead of repressing it. A real man does not let his energy get stuck in the sacral chakra at the level of lust. He is brave enough to let it move up through his heart and mind. When you feel yourself getting sexually stimulated, take the energy you feel in your pelvis and breathe it up through your body. Visualize breathing it up your spine and into your chest and neck and head. Visualize it flooding your whole body. Channel this energy towards heart-centered pursuits; let it drive you to action. Visualize that energy radiating through your heart chakra. You are not at the mercy of your carnal energies. Sexual energy is energy you can use. You can channel it towards anything you desire. In fact, many male athletes find that their most successful performances are the result of deliberately channeling sexual energy towards their sport.

6. Take on the role of the encourager. If you are the worrier or the skeptic, who warns yourself and others against going through with things (who warns against forward movement) you are suppressing the divine masculine. Don’t warn people around you off the path they are headed towards. Instead, encourage them towards their fears; encourage them to make the attempt. Honor their process. Allow them to make mistakes without rescuing them. The rescuer is not a function of manhood; it is a function of boyhood. The rescuer is a boy trying to prove himself. A man does not need to prove himself. Divine masculine is all about growth and encouraging others towards growth. Encouragement is the most divine manifestation of the masculine expression of love.

7. Take responsibility. To embrace the divine masculine within you, you must learn how to own your own life, mind and choices. Inner strength rides on the ability to consciously take charge of yourself. This means, no more blaming other people for your problems. You can only move forward when you discover what you are doing to hold yourself back. Divine masculine understands that you can only change yourself; so your only axis of power is what you do with yourself. Hold yourself accountable for everything you think, say and do. Catch yourself in the act if you are thinking and acting like a victim. Part of taking responsibility for yourself is coming to know yourself. A big part of the forward movement of divine masculine is the inner quest for self-actualization. If you are avoiding things, most especially yourself, you are suppressing the divine masculine.

8. Pick a skill, trade or specific expertise to fully develop. Divine masculine is about excellence. To excel means to move forward. It means growth. It doesn’t matter what you choose to turn into expertise as long as you have something in your life that you are determined to develop and master. It may be beneficial if you struggle with masculinity, to choose something to master that you already associate with masculinity.

9. Examine your resistance relative to being male on the spiritual, mental, physical and societal level. Resistance is a word we use to describe the energy behind negative emotion. Do you have resistance (therefore negative emotion) relative to how tall or short you are? Do you have resistance relative to being a husband? Do you have resistance relative to opening doors for women or paying for dates? Do you have resistance relative to your job? Do you have resistance to your level of fitness? Do you have resistance towards being direct with others? Do you have resistance to sex? Does some part of you believe that it isn’t manly to express your emotion? Or to really get your hands dirty raising children? If you feel resistance relative to any aspect of life that you identify as “male”, you have something in the way of the divine masculine within you. For example, you do not need to play sports to embrace the divine feminine, but you are suppressing the divine masculine as long as you associate sports with being male and continue to harbor resistance to sports. Try to find your core beliefs relative to the resistance you feel and then release those core beliefs. Nothing allows divine masculine to shine through better than releasing your resistance to the things you associate with masculinity. Many of the beliefs we hold about masculinity have nothing to do with actual masculinity; they are just the cultural byproduct of resistance.

You need to be willing to heal your negative emotions relative to anything you identify as male to set the masculinity within you free. It is exhausting suppressing the essence of who you are. And so, it is time to quit suppressing who you are. Trust me, as soon as women stop accepting the role of victim and come into alignment with their own feminine power, they will all thank you for it. We are not actually attracted to what we have tried to turn you into. We disrespect what we have turned you into. We secretly love men!

10. Learn about women. Learn about our cycles, learn about our bodies, and learn about our minds, our cultural conditioning and our desires. In the past, the collective belief among men has been that if you want to be a true man, femininity is an off limits subject. But how do you intend to support the divine feminine and conjoin with the divine feminine if you know nothing about it? All that is, is child like ignorance. The more you learn about women, the more confidence you will have around them. This is especially important if you are in a relationship with someone. Every woman is different. We are only a mystery to you if you don’t take the time to understand us individually. So learn to ask us questions and pay attention to us. Continuing to propagate the belief that women are a mystery sets you up to fail. Once you become convinced that we are a mystery, it is my promise that we always will be. There is a little theory that goes like this, women like men that are either ass holes, or treat them badly. It isn’t true. The reality is that one of two things is happening.

a. We had a father that treated us badly and so we are constantly love reincarnating our fathers because our brains are trying desperately to get the love we needed from our father. Our subconscious minds are on an agenda. If we can make a guy who treats us badly, treat us well… we have solved our daddy issues.

b. We are biological creatures. We want to feel safe (most of us don’t) so we want to breed with someone who is a good protector and we are driven to create genetically superior children so that they will survive too. It just so happens that most men who are protective (therefore subconsciously make us feel safe) and possess the features that we subconsciously associate with strong offspring tend to be more “jockish” and aggressive. We are not attracted to the asshole within them. We are simply attracted to the little bit of divine masculine that shines through these men. And since so few men have learned to awaken their divine masculine, we take all we can get. We are not attracted to meekness in men, and it just so happens that many men, who are nice, are meek. That feels like weakness to us. It makes us feel vulnerable and it shuts down our biological sex drive toward you. We do not want to breed with weak men. And so we often find ourselves feeling sexually turned off by nice guys. But the truth of the matter is, it has nothing to do with your niceness; it has to do with your meekness. We want a man who is a perfect blend. One who is tender towards us and towards children, but who exudes the masculinity that we melt for. We’re simply convinced that this type of man doesn’t exist. So, we settle.

As women, we tell you a very confusing story about what we want and don’t want from you. We want you to be men and do things for us but we want to do everything for ourselves. We have a “come support me” and then “now go away” type of attitude. This is not your fault. We do this because it is confusing to be a woman. We want you to open our door for us; most of us just don’t know it yet because we’ve been taught that you opening the door for us, makes us powerless to you and incapable. It has nothing to do with you. This is not your problem. We as women have not come into our divine feminine power and so we’re still fighting you for power. We are full of beliefs about the things that strip us of freedom and power over our own lives and bodies. And so, we’re afraid to let you be men. We have erroneously believed for years that the manlier you are, the more we get hurt. Why? Because our only model of masculinity is “the asshole” too! Feel free to ask those of us who are stuck in a fight against you for our own sense of power, to question our own beliefs. Expose us to your beliefs as well. It will aid our expansion. Most of us haven’t questioned our beliefs relative to gender roles. So help us out. We hate fighting against you this hard. We’re too stressed in our own lives to keep it up and it isn’t healthy for us or for you.

If you are interested in learning more about divine masculinity, I would suggest reading the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglass Gillette. It is a wonderful book that teaches men how to become the embodiment of the matured form of masculine energy within them. Divine masculine does not need to be cultivated or created within you as men. It is you. It is the essence of your choice to come into this life as a man. It is an ever-present energy that is always there, it is merely obscured by your thoughts and actions. If you begin to clear your minds and lives of the things that are obscuring that essence, it will immediately shine through on it’s own. And I can tell you as a sensual woman, there is nothing more intoxicatingly addictive than a man whose divine masculinity shines through.

[Richvextends Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Richvextends]

Men and women we are different but equal. We all have our likes an dislikes, things/thoughts we idealize and loathe. It is not necessary or even helpful to judge but it is to accept people the way they are without prejudice or malice. This is an easy concept to write but difficult in reality because we are all so competitive in our different ways. TPW, so yes we can redefine what it means to be male but not at the expense of pigeonholing the definition. (I understand that you are not.). Thanks for the food for thought.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

A lot of posts on here from "boys" rather than men.

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

A lot of posts on here from "boys" rather than men.

That's something boyish to say in itself.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

How so?

That's something boyish to say in itself.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

There are different perceptions what being a "real" man is. There are the "assholes", the "nice guys" and the "in between guys". I would much rather be with the guy who is nice and in between.


20 characteristics of a the ultimate man
1. A man treats women with respect. If you don’t respect women, you’re not a man. Period.
2. A man understands that greater happiness lies in helping others, not helping himself.
3. A man doesn’t stand still while the world passes him by, he continually pushes himself.
4. A man is a leader in at least one aspect of his life, whether this means his family, with his friends or just in general. But he can also follow. The world wouldn’t work if everyone was trying to lead in everyaspect of life.
5. You can depend on a man. You can’t depend on a boy.
6. “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” ~ Galileo Galilei
A man is proud, often to a fault. He doesn’t “change” but rather evolves. Ladies, don’t try and change your man, but let him evolve into the man he’s meant to be.
7. A man doesn’t need to be able to fight or to protect himself and his family physically. But it helps. Hedoes however need to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.
8. A man lives for something; a purpose beyond his own personal gains. This can come with time, and with family. It doesn’t always happen right away.
9. “Many of the greatest accomplishments of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
A man gets depressed, he gets sad, he thinks about quitting and folding, but he never does. He pushes through adversity.
10. “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” ~ Louis Nizer
A man has faults. It’s important to understand this.
11. A man can laugh at himself.
12. A man takes pride in how he looks and lives his life. He’s not ashamed by who he is, what he does or how he looks, even if he’s trying to change one of the aforementioned.
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13. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Men learn what is truly important over time. If they’re lucky, they’ll have a sense of it early on.
14. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~ Oscar Wilde
If a man finds someone special, he doesn’t treat her like she’s everyone else.
15. A man has fears, but he isn’t ruled by them.
16. A man learns from his mistakes. Although he might take a few cracks at it.
17. A man does what is necessary. Even if it’s the hardest decision, or the most unpopular one.
18. A man can appreciate the greatness that is ‘The Gladiator’.
19. A man thrives on competition.
20. “For a man to achieve all that is expected of him, he must regard himself greater than he is.” ~ Johann Wolfgang

20 Characteristics of a Real Man | be Legendary

I bet you if you took out the word "man" in the above list and replaced it with "woman" it would still be true!

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Cusp for president!!