Arousal Techniques

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Awesome! So would u say that your ballooning has helped against sensitivity for sure? I remember a guy telling me a long time ago that "rubbing the penis head" helps to desensitize. Tell you the truth... I don't pop as many unwanted boners as I used to since I started ballooning how u told me to. It might be also that I stopped watching porn. Maybe a mixture of both. Either way, thank you!!!

Btw... do you also not ejaculate at the end most of the time like me? I really think that is a GREAT training strategy. I'm trying to only do it once a week. I also wonder is Jelqing helps with prem ejac in any way cuz I started doing that too.

I stopped watching porn also. I think that will help with the ED I get every once and a while. And same here I don't get nearly as many random boners either.
I usually let myself finish after two days of stopping myself, so I can have more at self control. So I guess stop myself two times, then the third time let go.

But your welcome. I am not sure if there should be a stopping point or not for doing the ballooning to desensitize the head. It would seem that if you kept doing it for too long (like months) it would eventually not be sensitive anymore and may make it impossible to finish. I havn't been doing it long enough to be sure but it may be something to be mindful of.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

I wouodnt worry to much about not being able to finish(in my case) haha! But I would be worried about not being able to have a good strong erection. Did you see my question about ballooning? Look for the "ballooning and premature ejaculation" post/thread.

[Sharpshooter Member Find all posts View Profile Close Sharpshooter]

Excellent topic this and essential reading for people like me who get aroused way too easily. I'll be incorporating all of these techniques into my routines.

I also think there is another angle to arousal and that is the mental/psychological side of things which causes me major, major problems. I believe that my brain rather than my body is responsible for my PrE.

When I started having sex for the first time with my first girlfriend I could enjoy foreplay for as long as I wanted (hand jobs, blow jobs..) and would last what seems now a very respectable 3-5 minutes intercourse. However, due to my unrealistic preconceptions of what sex would be like (ie, me pumping away for 1/2 hour and her having an intense orgasm) I could not understand that my performance was pretty normal for a novice and worried about it so much that the third time we had sex I came within 10 seconds flat of intercourse, which was obviously the result of performance anxiety.

I stayed with her a while and could still always enjoy as much foreplay as I wanted without blowing but always lasted 10 seconds for intercourse. When I split with her I got to wondering why I had no ejaculation issues with foreplay, only intercourse. Guess what, next time I was with a girl I couldn't even last through foreplay!

The point I'm getting to is that I'm sure my body just does what my mind believes (or fears) it will do. When I masturbated as a teenager I used to have to really concentrate to get myself to ejaculate. Now, I could ejaculate inside 20 seconds if I wanted to. I'm pretty sure my body hasn't changed, just my mind. If I could return to my teenage mindset it would be a massive step to curing PrE (although I realise I also need kegels, edging, etc to retrain my body at the same time).

The question is; can this be done? And if so, how?

The only possible answer I have stumbled across is visualisation techniques. I read a book by Paul McKenna which says the mind can't distinguish between real experiences and those that are strongly visualised, and therefore the neural pathways in the brain can be retrained. I've tried a few times to fully visualise myself in successful sexual encounters and it kind of worked to the extent that my dreams afterwards were of the same things (ie, dreaming about myself with no PrE issues). However, just visualising these things left me with a lot of pre-cum which kind of undermined the feeling of confidence I might otherwise have gained.

Anyway, I will definitely persevere with the arousal techniques but I always have this nagging fear that until I improve the mental side of my game as well I'm kind of doomed to relative failure..

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Shin gi ittai, mind ,body soul working together.
While my area is the physical, I have never doubted this.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Awesome! So would u say that your ballooning has helped against sensitivity for sure?

I would say it does, but not necessarily in the way you might think. That is, you're not looking to reduce sensitivity, rather your response to that sensitivity. Now, a biologist could rightfully argue that these are the same thing, but that would be missing the point. There's undoubtedly, as has obviously been said, a psychological aspect to this, but also a physical, such that you want to break the automatic translation from penis sensitivity to pelvic floor contractions and other associated physical effects - whether by relaxing the mind and body, or by training your body to move the response across the whole body. You're trying to prevent the "roller coaster" effect where your control is so coarse that even approaching high arousal sensitivity in the penis sends your whole journey to orgasm careering over the finish line.

I have likened arousal before to pushing a big boulder down a gradually steepening hill, balancing it near the top. Such that if you're careless and have too much momentum, the boulder is going to go flying down the hill and you won't be able to stop it, but if you're careful and controlled then you can even get it back up to the top of the hill again and rescue the situation if you go a little too far. If you actually try this with a marble on your belly, it's going to be hard, because you don't have a fine degree of control, but if you were to do it with a huge boulder on a real hill, you'd have much more chance of catching it before it went too far and had too much inertia or gravity to manage.

For what it's worth, lately I have found it helps to concentrate on the sensations of arousal across my whole body while visualising the penis as the source of those sensations, almost like filling up a car with petrol where your penis is the petrol cap and your body the tank. If that makes sense ?!

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Very good points guys... all of you. And Drummer... I think you nailed it. Arousal level can surely put you into danger zone very quickly even for guys that have good training. I know for a fact that the mind can make us reach the PONR right away because of a few things I noticed and remembered tonight. As I was edging today, as soon as I started thinking about my ex girglfriends hot rear and imagined her on top of me and me giving it to her real good and lasting long.... I got too excited and got closer to the PONR. Also... Have you guys ever talked dirty to your girl and told her that her vagina is so wet and hot and asked her to finish for you and all over your penis as she rides you or whatever (also when they ask you to smack their butts...that drives them crazy too)...that drives them wild and makes them get to the PONR very quickly. Same as when a girl tells you...come on baby...finish for me.... I want you to finish all over my breasts....that usually get us to the PONR right away..doesnt it? Just the thought of ejaculating MAKES you ejaculate. Any hot image, position, word or thought can manifest into our greatest enemy. There has to be a way of thinking during sex that can fight this. WHAT THE HECK IS IT? I know that there are many different distracting, nasty and aweful things we can think about that has helped many people including myself, but I know thats not a healthy or normal thing that we should be doing. I remember one of the times I lasted very long in many positions and where my ex had to give me a bj in order for me to finish, was the time we went at it right away in the morning and I closed my eyes once in a while and pretended that I was having sex with a real old, wrinkled lady. I'm just saying drummer and all you guys.... You are absolutely right. Hot and sexy situations and thoughts can VERY EASILY put us over the edge. No wonder most people cant last as long when they watch porn. What do we do about the hot and sexy way we are thinking? I have stopped watching porn for like a week now...hope that helps. Sorry for venting and for too many words. Im just freaking out here cuz the mind can be a very powerful enemy. BTW... HERE IS SOME SPAM: PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LATEST MOST AWESOMEST BALLOONING TECHNIQUE POST, when you have time. haha. Good luck guys. GREAT POST DRUMMER!!!

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Thanks for the great posts everyone. The mind can be a real trouble maker. The main thing with these exercises as I have said before is to retrain your arousal to stay calm when stimulated. If you can rest your mind during sex you'll never have to worry about PE. I can see everyone is getting a better understanding of the whole situation. It is once you see how your brain affects you, that you will be able to point out what's wrong and attempt to reverse it. Like spanky said ballooning while trying to relax trains your response to stimulation. Ballooning aimlessly otherwise wouldn't have that same effect.

The goal is to figure out a way to change the response of high arousal during sex. It is obvious the answer is to rewire your brain to stay calm. So the first step as I have outlined is to figure out what it is you do that contributes to Pre E during high arousal. Going from there I have some exercises that try to rewire the brain, but there have got to be other things we can do.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Ok I'm gonna make sure I breath properly when I edge And balloon from now on. BTW... Whats wrong with holdIng your breath? I remember that when I wanna get rid of an erection, the best thing was to hold my breath and let it out real slowly. My erection would fall down so fast it was impressive. Have you tried that? Can yu please try/test that during your session and tell me what happens to you drummer? Thanx. Maybe breath in slowly, hold breath and them let out slowly? Don't the buddists or other people do this technique to slow down heart rate? Is there some kind of proof holding your breath is bad?

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Holding your breath and releasing slowly is a breathing technique that assists relaxation, there are many ways to breath that work for people. I have heard of a technique that where you breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and release for 5 seconds. (repeat.) This is supposed to help you relax and distract yourself, maybe this is what you are talking about?

It is holding your breath, releasing quickly and then holding your breath again that creates tension in your body and when your body is tense it worsens Pre E symptoms. Relaxation needs to go through the body, not just the pelvic area.

[OldRocker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OldRocker]

Triangle

James & Drummer,

The exercise of slowly breathing in for 5 seconds, holding for 5 seconds and slowly breathing out for 5 seconds is an old Zen technique called "Triangular Breathing". It is also used in Tantric Sex practices to reduce arousal levels (A nod to Drummer19 here). I think using this in all physical practices will help enhance the experience and shift the focus to the sensation received through sexual stimulation to let it dissipate throughout the body as opposed to just heightening sexual tension.

Let it go, and be in it; not subject to it!

High hopes!

Later!

[OldRocker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OldRocker]

Drummer19,

I read your diary and found it very helpful and encouraging. Your dedication deserves an aplause. The example has prompted me to begin a journal of my own to monitor my progress. I'm using a spreadsheet and will attach a weekly copy for anyone with an interest that might find it useful in addressing their own Pre Ejac situation.

Cheers! (and Nameste)

OldRocker

[Frenchie Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Frenchie]

Drummer has a diary posted somewhere about his exercises? Could someone pass me the link, I'd be interested in seeing it.

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

My PE and Possible Solutions

[Frenchie Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Frenchie]

Thank you so much, it's really heartening to know someone is having success with this. You're awesome!

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Thanks Frenchie!