How to not kegel while having sex

[fadedaway Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close fadedaway]

I dont understand, ever since i can remember i invoulantarily flex my pc muscles when im having sex or rubbing one out and i always thought that was better for pe. Mind you ive never had an issue with premature ejac the first half dozen times i ever had sex i never came, although im sure that was nerves, but now in my twenties i can easily fuck for 20 mins to half an hour withought worry, and with a little position changing tempo decrease and mid sex foreplay i can pretty much go as long as i want.

However there is the exception, i dont know about you guys but it seems that once i start getting close ad i figure ive done my part and i should cum now, and i just get closer and she starts going fucking wild saying "dont stop im going to cum" and here i am doing 110mph and coming closer to that brick wall lol, thats when i need advice..... Now in saying that i have found something that works for me, since im flexing the whole time when i get close all i do is relax it, it takes a conious effort wich also helps postpone the inevatable, but the sensation changes so much that it gives me more time, then i just flex again, then release again in different rythms to confuse my dick lol, this usually buys me a few minutes, which at a good pace is alot! ..... im seriously considering pratcing tantric sex and learning how to choke off my ejaculations with kegals so i can have multiple orgasms, problem is whenever ive thought about trying it by the time im ready it feels too good to want to stop lol.

[pe_ZEN Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pe_ZEN]

That's great if it works for you to kegel - if that decreases sensitivity and allows you to 'keep going'. That's really the goal is to keep going so you can last long enough for 'her'.

You said it right "feels too good to want to stop" - this is the difficult part in riding the "edge". The problem with me also is it is just so damn exciting when she goes crazy - it brings that PONR really really quickly. I am trying to learn to relax more at that point. If you can keep your own arousal level just below PONR for extended time, sex will be better for both parties. some do use kegels, but I only use it as an 'emergency brake'

[Bigman13 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigman13]

I have this Exact same problem. Should I stop kegeling all together? Or kegel when I'm flaccid and stay the hell away from it during masturbation and sex?

[pe_ZEN Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pe_ZEN]

I realized today like a brick hit me in the head: Others have said it too that what's needed is a

Complete Re-training of Pleasure Conditioning. Does the kegel absolutely have to automatically begin to flutter thus throwing you uncontrollably into ejaculation? NO. It is a simple matter of training an alternative response to pleasure besides the kegel. Most effective would be to train relaxation (as it is a competing response to kegeling). Over many months of this training you should be able to sustain stimulation for much much longer whereas before you would stop-start.

Step 1: Awareness. Be aware of what the kegels feel like right before and during ejaculation
Step 2: Strength. Have a moderate kegel routine.
Step 3: Control. With strength and timing come control.

Train relaxation rather than kegel during stimulation. Try to always be aware of what's doing on around your PC area when highly aroused, it is very easy to get distracted and not realize you are kegeling like crazy!

[Bigman13 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigman13]

But should we continue to kegel regularly not during sex? What about reverse kegels?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Ok ,I have never used this relaxtion method.
However through argument with Pe zen ,which got me thinking and some poking around among posts here at pegym, I now see it's value.

Many members, have reported increased endurance upon relaxing their kegal muscles, scythe is a good recent example.
In some cases this effect is almost instant, in these cases members spoke of learning to flex or relax muscles through doing kegals.
So as pe zen suggests you can have a kegal routine that is seperate.

Many members report that their pc is "tight" ,if the do not do reverse kegals and that this lowers control. I recomend doing enough reverse kegals to balance kegals.

While I went direct to active kegal control, guys using relaxation method can move to active control at a later time.
Reports of mmo from relaxation method, seem very rare here at pegym, however it seems to be part of the eastern mmo tradition.
At least, in so far as I can make sense of their mystic language.

Hope I can learn more from this thread.

[calixto ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close calixto]

I realized today like a brick hit me in the head:

All I have to say to this is,........Waited a while to use some of these smileys!!!

Ok ,I have never used this relaxtion method.
However through argument with Pe zen ,which got me thinking and some poking around among posts here at pegym, I now see it's value.

Pegasus, did you read my article? If so, thanks !! Hope it helped! And yes, trying the "completely relax the PC muscle to avoid ejaculating" method really works.

[pe_ZEN Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pe_ZEN]

Yeah, Calixto I enjoyed your article too - I think you could even go in greater depth and more specific detail about method, etc...we are very much on the same page I think

However, a little skepticism still remains about 'undoing the natural biological response', as to whether its possible for all guys or just a lucky few who don't orgasm quickly.

[aguirre Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close aguirre]

What I've also figured out was that, when I'm watching porn by myself, I'd get a boner instantly which leads to me jerking it as soon as this happens. This was a big habit for me. I don't even remember when the last time I HAVE NOT done this. I believe this is also a huge contributing factor to my PE and probably the reason why I get aroused so easily by my gf and in general really. SO, I experimented. I tried not to jerk myself while watching porn. LOL WOW. This was hard for me. It was like trying to quit smoking. But I couldn't help myself. After a couple tries though, I gradually got better at it and would continue to watch pussies get rammed until my erection has subsided. Which at this point my pc muscles are now very relaxed and I am not easily aroused. (woot! progress). This has helped me stay flacid around my gf and keeps my pc muscles relaxed when we're messing around. She has to DO WORK to get me hard now.

My problem is slightly different. I can watch porn all day and control my arousal. What gives me instant wood is any form of touch. I could be walking in a public place with a girl and not thinking anything sexual, but if she were to grab my hand or nuzzle up against me... instant boner. It's ridiculous how fast it happens. Kissing, close contact, etc. All this gets me going way faster than it should. Most of the times, even if I'm giving my girl an innocent good bye kiss, I start to feel awkward because I get aroused so easily and quickly. I've tried to control it but it seems impossible. I could get it three times in one day and still react this way. Anyone have this experience and know any tricks to tone it down a notch? I'm sure this early overexcitement isn't helping my PRE-E.

This super arousal, coupled with my recent discovery of having involuntary PC contractions has me reaching PONR within minutes. I'm working hard on keeping my PC relaxed but it's difficult to control. I'm happy I stumbled onto this thread. There's some good advice and tips here.

[pe_ZEN Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pe_ZEN]

Yeah, dude - It's time to give up porn. Your autonomic nervous system is highly confused because of your relationship to porn. It keeps you in that 'excited state' for a much longer period than you think. Give up porn for 1 week, see what happens during that week and you will be surprised. NO PORN FOR 1 WEEK. Should be easy right? hah not so easy but you can do it, and I'm sure it will cure you.

oh by the way, 'not being easily aroused' is NOT progress in my book. Ejaculatory control is in my book, however

[jmath Member Find all posts View Profile Close jmath]

Don't think about the way your penis feels. When you masterbate, don't do it with the intention of bringing yourself pleasure. Your hand should be moving and your mind should be off your dick. Same when you are having sex. Don't think about your dick and what you are feeling. Completely detach yourself.

I totally disagree with this. What's the point in having sex if you are not going to concentrate on it, on what you are feeling, and have the best time you can. To have sex thinking about cleaning the house, I'd better go and clean the house.

[bulldog28 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bulldog28]

Is the idea of trying reverse kegals while having sex...this kind of feeling like you would want to "piss" in your girl while having sex..meaning the "push" feeling. Obviously you don't want to piss in her..but just the actual pushing of the pc muscle and keeping it relaxed?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You are refering to this https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html bulldog.
Many guys have success with it, many combine it with my concepts.

[Swarlie Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Swarlie]

Great thread, thanks a lot to everyone for their input and tips.
I'm currently in a long distance relationship so I have a month or so to train and be prepared for our next encounter, meaning I can't test out the things suggested yet.

Here's one question I have about kegeling though. It seems to me that to get the strong erection I want, my pc/bc muscles have to flex and give my penis that jumpy movements, otherwise it doesn't feel like the blood rushes in enough to get me hard. But then everything I read says that I should avoid the usage of kegels for a bit till I know their role in my PE and how I can control them. How does that dilemma get solved?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You have a kegel /reverse kegel routine so your pelvic floor is strong and supple .
Then you do various forms of edging toincrease your skill and understanding of how it works in practise.