How to not kegel while having sex

[muffintop Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close muffintop]

Bump?

[muffintop Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close muffintop]

Tom, IMO kegel and reverse kegel exercises provide two benefits. First, body awareness. Second, strength and control of the muscles.

Your first step was becoming aware of your involuntary kegel. Although there are several other awareness steps you need to take, knowing is half the battle. Here is something you need to pay attention to the next few times you take a leak.

First is the push, you whip it out and start your pee. The push you're feeling relaxes something down there allowing you to pee. This relaxation also allows more blood to enter your penis. You might notice (if you're a grower) that your flaccid gets longer while you pee. Learning to replicate the relaxation action without peeing is your RK. Learning to RK without holding your breath is preferred. Learning to RK while thrusting during sex is the ultimate goal.

Second thing to look for is squeezing out the last drops. You get to the end of your piss and you shoot out a couple more short shots. That is your kegel. As you become more aware and gain more control you will be able to stop mid stream (kegel) then start again (reverse kegel). The benefit of the kegel is to build enough strength and control and permit you to clench through the ejaculatory kegels during your orgasm. Another is increasing the force of your ejaculate, so when you do ejaculate you heighten the pleasure of your partner or are forced to clean the walls.

I recommend practicing any kind of kegel (say 3 sets of 20 quick kegels) until you develop the ability to hold a kegel. In addition practice identifying the RK each time you start to pee. Once you're able to do an RK, practice it during edging, balooning, or sex. After accomplishing these things you should be able to create your own program.

I've found it difficult to RK after doing kegel sets so I do RK sets then kegel sets. Eventually I plan to alternate sets (RK, K, RK, K).

I think this a good place for me to start.

I don't do any kegel exercises yet but I have no problem with stopping and starting my piss. Yes, I can see now that it could be stronger though. However, it's the RK I have trouble with. When I start pissing I dont feel any sort of push, when I stop it and release it, it just starts again with no effort.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Release it how?

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

For me, squeezing the PC muscle triggers an orgasm. This, like many men, is due to the furtive style of masturbating as a kid. Parents go to buy groceries, you beat one out as quick as you can for the pleasure that comes with ejaculating. This has trained my body to unconsciously kegel during masturbation/sex, leading to premature ejaculation. I physically cannot stop myself from kegeling. The instant I stimulate my unit my PC muscle tightens up, and when I cease stimulation I can feel my muscle relax again. I've tried really hard to "retrain" my brain to not tighten my PC muscle, but I don't know how.

Am I right to think that this is probably the main culprit of my PE? If so, what can I do to retrain my PC muscle?

It is.... especially while watching porn and doing it everyday. That's what gave me prem ejac. You nailed it.

[ProtoJ Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ProtoJ]

It is.... especially while watching porn and doing it everyday. That's what gave me prem ejac. You nailed it.

yeah but the million dollar question. how do you prevent it?

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

Kegel/reverse kegel routine, ballooning/edging, patience.

[muffintop Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close muffintop]

Release it how?

Good question... just seems to happen when I want it to.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You will find this is a reverse kegel.

[bigwinner Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigwinner]

So are we saying that people who do not experienced and/or have never experienced premature ejaculation is because they never kegel during sex unless they want to? So in fact, they just keep pumping away without contracting the PC muscle?

If so - then this has changed my mind of what sex is supposed to be like. I thought part of the fun was to kegel a little but still be able to control it.

This raises an interesting point though because I think my girlfriend doesn't contract her PC muscle at all during sex, so she can not come unless she wants to. If she wants to come, I think she contracts her PC muscle (I will confirm this with her). Of course there are times where she says if I keep pumping any longer she'll come. I suspect this is through mental stimulation as well as her performing kegels without realising.

Can someone confirm my thoughts?

[no minute man Member Find all posts View Profile Close no minute man]

So are we saying that people who do not experienced and/or have never experienced premature ejaculation is because they never kegel during sex unless they want to? So in fact, they just keep pumping away without contracting the PC muscle?

I'm very interested in the answer to this question!

[pony2stallion Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pony2stallion]

That's going to be difficult: if you squeeze the glans, you involuntarily contract the anus after. I think it's a reflex.

[Mello Jello Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mello Jello]

i have found that stance, position, and thrusting style while having sex helps relax the kegal.

what immediatly comes to mind is when on top keeping a wide base with the knees and ones ass out. the thrusts should be a combination of hip rolls and tilting the hips to throw the thrust forward and back, a trick to avoid overstimulating the frenulum is to position your pelvis slightly above hers so you are rubbing the top of your shaft against her clit while thrusting. I should also mention that putting some pillows under the girls ass makes the postion a lot easier to work it good.

the wide base and the ass out puts a stretch on the pelvic floor and the thrust style doesnt clench the glutes on the foreward thrust, which i found leads to ejaculating sooner and most likely from strong rhythmic involuntary kegals. If your like me and you have problems becoming physically exhausted before cuming then putting your elbows on the bed, bending her legs with her knees in the crooks of your arms or on you chest, or the back of her knees over your shoulders can keep you going for the long haul and keep the position varied. Also try it with her legs together and your knees outside of hers while she is face up or face down, and she can lay on her side in in a not quite fetal position for a transitional postion between face up and face down.

I was doing this before learning about kegals and reverse kegals.

[thomasthetankengine Member Find all posts View Profile Close thomasthetankengine]

For me, squeezing the PC muscle triggers an orgasm. This, like many men, is due to the furtive style of masturbating as a kid. Parents go to buy groceries, you beat one out as quick as you can for the pleasure that comes with ejaculating. This has trained my body to unconsciously kegel during masturbation/sex, leading to premature ejaculation. I physically cannot stop myself from kegeling. The instant I stimulate my unit my PC muscle tightens up, and when I cease stimulation I can feel my muscle relax again. I've tried really hard to "retrain" my brain to not tighten my PC muscle, but I don't know how.

Am I right to think that this is probably the main culprit of my PE? If so, what can I do to retrain my PC muscle?

The whole theory of us training our PC muscles to prematurely ejaculate sounds like bullshit to me. I've never done a rushed ejaculation (I've had privacy pretty much my whole wanking life) and tried to finish quickly but my PC muscle causes me to ejaculate quicker as well. That's probably because our bodies are wired like that normally. I've also never seen any real evidence for that theory.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I'm evidence.

When I first masturbated, it was hard to achieve orgasm, sometimes I even gave up it took so long. Then, I connected kegels (even though I didn't know that's what they were; I discovered them as a side effect of tightening my legs) to increased pleasure. My kegels got stronger, and I got more used to doing them, untill I could kegel myself to orgasm instantly.

When I discovered this was bad, I tried to stop the kegels, but of course found it impossible. Now, through a combination of reverse kegels and mind tricks, I can generally stop them, but it's not like the ideal situation I had all those years ago. I personally believe males should be better educated about this at a younger age; if I had known, I'm pretty certain I would never have had Pre E.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, some people may be "wired" that way from the start, (I have a whole list of causes in the link in my signature, only 2 are to do with rushed masturbation) but I know I wasn't. If you try and hold a kegel during masturbation, you'll notice how much better it feels and it is easy to see how that could become a habit deeply ingrained into ones muscle memory.

[thomasthetankengine Member Find all posts View Profile Close thomasthetankengine]

I'm evidence.

When I first masturbated, it was hard to achieve orgasm, sometimes I even gave up it took so long. Then, I connected kegels (even though I didn't know that's what they were; I discovered them as a side effect of tightening my legs) to increased pleasure. My kegels got stronger, and I got more used to doing them, untill I could kegel myself to orgasm instantly.

When I discovered this was bad, I tried to stop the kegels, but of course found it impossible. Now, through a combination of reverse kegels and mind tricks, I can generally stop them, but it's not like the ideal situation I had all those years ago. I personally believe males should be better educated about this at a younger age; if I had known, I'm pretty certain I would never have had Pre E.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, some people may be "wired" that way from the start, (I have a whole list of causes in the link in my signature, only 2 are to do with rushed masturbation) but I know I wasn't. If you try and hold a kegel during masturbation, you'll notice how much better it feels and it is easy to see how that could become a habit deeply ingrained into ones muscle memory.

Do you remember kegelling with a full erection and it NOT making you ejaculate quicker?