Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[adios01 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close adios01]

Ok thanks minuteman..
Have u ever had this problem as well??
I do agree on fatigued pelvic floor but i dont know how many days i shud get off in a week..is doing one day and 2 days off plenty?? Some people say it shud be just right but others seem to be doing it every single day..

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Ok thanks minuteman..
Have u ever had this problem as well??
I do agree on fatigued pelvic floor but i dont know how many days i shud get off in a week..is doing one day and 2 days off plenty?? Some people say it shud be just right but others seem to be doing it every single day..

No I didn't not have the sensitivity problem to your degree.

As for the ejaculation frequency for the prostate health anywhere from 1 day a week to 3 days a week is fine (more if you need more less if you need less). But for not just follow what I have written in the last post and in 3 weeks time we will see if anything has changed.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I have made quite a large update to the original post. Firstly, I have stressed the importance of being gradual during edging:

There is a fine line between the two which you must eventually find. It is essentially about finding the highest pleasure you can experience while still remaining in control. The idea is that, by practicing at this maximum level, your body will start getting used to it, and consequently you will be able to gradually build this level higher and higher until you eventually reach the plateau phase. The word "gradual" is key here; each session should be a gradual build up to your maximum level, and overtime you should gradually build up this maximum level. You won't retrain your response by rushing, since rushing is likely what messed your response up in the first place.

The largest part is a new summary section, which makes it somewhat clearer how to progress with your edging:

Summary - The Five Steps of Edging:

Though your edging should always be gradually progressing to higher pleasure levels while still remaining in control, the general progression can be thought of as four separate stages. While you should do most of your edging sessions at your current level, it can be a good idea to challenge yourself by trying out higher levels every now and then. This stops edging from being monotonous, and also prevents you from becoming unaccustomed to higher pleasure levels while in the first stage. The five stages are:

1. Eliminating Involuntary Kegels (IK). While doing this, don't worry yourself about the plateau phase or feeling pleasure, the goal is simply to maintain a relaxed pelvic floor to give you a good foundation for the later stages. You need to become aware of IKs, so pay attention for any spasms. You can try placing a hand on your pelvic floor area and feeling for any movement. You may even find yourself holding a single long involuntary kegel for the duration. As mentioned earlier, the way to counter these is to use reverse kegels when you notice a spasm, or hold a light RK for the duration of edging. Also, have an out of sex RK routine. While in this stage, most of your edging should be done with a blank mind and a slow stroke rate, so you can focus on getting rid of those IK.

2. Arousal Control and IK. This stage is largely similar to the first stage, in that the primary goal is to eliminate IK. However, this stage involves the use of some imagination, in order to start getting some pleasure from your sessions. Don't go too overboard with the imagination though; you want to stay at fairly low arousal so you can control those IK. The idea is to learn to focus on staying calm with extra stimulation, and also learning to be aware of IK while being distracted.

3. Aim for Plateau. Once you feel that you're getting the IK under control, you can move onto this, the most difficult stage. This is the hardest because here you need to focus on pleasure. After all, we don't want to stop feeling pleasure, we want to be able to control the pleasure. The problem is, pleasure for a premature ejaculator usually means orgasm and ejaculation. To start aiming for the plateau phase, you need to focus on any good feelings you get during edging. Think to yourself "this actually feels good". However, don't let yourself think about orgasm or ejaculation, completely ignore them. You will probably need also need to add in more imagination and stimulation as you go along. At first, you will often become too aroused too quickly, and your IK will start acting up and you will get close to orgasm. Don't worry if this happens, just stop and try again. Remember to try and build arousal very slowly. It will take a long time to complete this stage because you are so used to associating pleasure with orgasm. This stage aims to associate pleasure with control. Unfortunately, there is only so much guidance I can give you here, as everyone must find their own unique way to access plateau. Plateau should feel very good, but still controllable - a hard concept for premature ejaculators to understand.

4. Progress in Plateau. Once you get to plateau, it's easy sailing. All you've got to do now is practice getting there more often, so that it becomes second nature. Then, use the edging progression tips to help you practice staying in plateau under different circumstances. Please note, the edging progression tips can also be used in ealier stages as well.

5. Wave Orgasms, DO, and MMO. Once you've mastered plateau, you don't have to stop there. The way is open to progress to any number of new ideas. I won't write about them here, but there is plenty of information onsite. As a side note, some guys go for DO and MMO first, and then use their experience and observations from that to access plateau.

And finally, I want to stress the imporatnce of keeping a log:

Keep a log. This can be a thread on site or a private notebook. In this you will note down observations from your sessions and also any general observayions you make, these will help you understand your situation better and also provide inspiration for others and confidence for yourself later on when you look back on earlier posts you have made.

Personally, I really like minutemans log. Although it is not to do with plateau (though he does make some observations regarding this) it shows the excellent attitude you should have- being largely positive in outlook, making detailed observations, communicating with others and always wanting to progress. The link is here

[adasgreen Member Find all posts View Profile Close adasgreen]

nice thread !
very usefull

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I've restructured the OP yet again, becuase I realise there was a lot of information in there that would make it extremely hard for someone who hasn't been here for very long to understand. So, I've removed as much waffle as I can, changed the order around a bit and improved paragraphing. Hopefully it's much more comprehensible now.

Anyway, I also wanted to write about my current viewpoints on Pre E, and how they've changed throughout my time here.

I have always known, since I very first came here, that my problem was caused probably entirely by bad masturbation habits. By this, I mean rushing to the PONR. I remember when I first discovered masturbation, it took me a very long time to climax, partly because I was inexperienced with my body, but also because I had a normal sexual response. I even remember being able to get into the plateau phase - by plateau phase I mean it felt really good, but I still had control.

However, like many other young people, I was overwhelmed by the sensation of orgasm. That, combined with time constraints and a fear of being caught, meant it was much more convinient to climax quickly. So, I used kegels (unknowingly) to reach orgasm as fast as possible. This is a well known story and many can relate.

The effect of this is twofold, and this is what is less well understood. Firstly, it gives you IK and a tense pelvic floor. Everyone knows this, and the way to reverse it is by reverse kegels, not rushing to the PONR, and using various other relaxtion methods such as yoga and stretches. When I came to PEGym, I thought my problem was entirely physical, because we men prefer things which have a set routine that can fix them, and would rather just ignore that we have some psycological problem, because that is not a manly thing to have. So, I set about using RK and the competing response method and rubbing my sweet spots in an attempt to remove the many IK I had. It was a complete success, and I soon removed most of the tension. However, my Pre E was not fixed. I could edge for hours if I wanted to, but the moment it began to feel good, I got massive IK and climaxed soon after.

This is where the second effect of rushing masturbation comes in. This is less well understood, and is entirely psychological. I'm not talking psychological like performance anxiety, but an involuntary psychological change in the way your brain responds to stimulation You see, rushing to the PONR changes your response to stimulation. Without a scientific background I can't use the correct terms, but by getting to orgasm quickly as a kid, you have changed pathways and chemicals in your brain, so that it automatically associates any pleasure you feel with orgasm. I like to liken this to the way nicotine changes a smokers brain so that they are always craving for another smoke. So, because you have rushed to orgasm so much, it becomes a habit. As soon as you start feeling pleasure, your brain and nervous system on autopilot think "time to ejaculate" and begin sending out the neccessary signals for the process to begin.

In terms of my personal story, once I began aiming for ejaculation, I became better and better at getting there quickly. The time I was in plateau for got shorter and shorter (the use of kegels prevents plateau) until it vanished completely. I literally went from no pleasure staright to almost orgasm. This is not normal. Your pleasure level should cap off at plateau, and stay there for some consdierable time. I had trained myself to go right past the plateau phase.

It stayed that way until one session about 6 months ago when I was tired but relaxed at night and deciced to have an edging session. Because I wasn't really thinking about it, just doing it, I wasn't overanalsying it. After some time, it occured to me that I had some quite pleasurable sensations in my penis. This was odd for me, but I went with it anyway, and before I knew it, I was feeling something which was almost orgasmic. In fact, I wrote it down in my log as a soft wave orgasm, thats how intense it was. However, this was simply the plateau phase, but because I wasn't used to feeling so much pleasure without orgamsing I didn't know what it was. As I've got more used to it, the pleasure isn't quite so overwhelming, but stills feels damn good, it occured to me that this is what guys without Pre e must feel all the time. This is how it is meant to be.

Now I know my story of how I got into plateau probably isn't that helpful - it pretty much happened by accident! However, if there is one big piece of advice I can give you in how to start getting this it would be:

Forget about orgasm and ENJOY your edging.

The fact that your body automatically associates pleasure with orgasm is a major hurdle you must overcome. You just need to do it gradually, and try your hardest to focus on controllable pleasure. If you stroke during edging and you notice a good sensation, think "that was good, I enjoyed that". Learn to want the pleasure rather than thinking "crap that felt good, i'm going to cum now". However, always be content with what you have. Soon after I discovered plateau, I began chasing it, similar to how I chased orgasm when I was younger. I cannot believe I made the same mistake twice. Of course, by chasing plateau, I was chasing good feelings, rushing to the pleasure, which of course made me orgasm quickly. You need to be relaxed, enjoy the moment, and never try and chase higher pleasure.

I appreciate this has been a long and complciated post, but I wanted to share with you the story of how I redisocovered plateau. It has been the hardest thing along my journey so far, and I don't think it could've been done without first balancing my plevic floor, but so long as you keep and positive mindset and stay open minded, it will come eventually.

[OneHandedWarrior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OneHandedWarrior]

Great and insightful post. I think one of the keys to overcoming premature ejaculation is controlling and enjoying yourself throughout the entire progress regardless of the bad sessions. I also seem to learn an awful lot on my increasingly rare bad days as they make it easier to tell what needs work.

Lately I feel more pleasure during my sessions even before PoNR which was very very rare before. I've also really been working heard on rewiring myself to not ejaculate every session and now I extremely rarely have the urge to ejaculate at the end of my sessions.

That being said I feel like I've taken steps both forward and backward. I can currently last 5-10 minutes with the Fleshlight without much trouble (currently working on 15 minutes) However my Iks have gotten more intense and I've a hard time combating them. I do however have alot more awareness and control over myself so it doesn't seem to bring me over PoNR anymore. Another less good thing is that it seems like I almost get more stimulation by hand or rather it seems to make that jump to PoNR much quicker than before & compared to the Fleshlight (the fleshlight feels alot better though). Not sure why but it might have something to do with that I ejaculate by hand. I still go for longer durations of time by hand but the from maybe the 15-25 minutes it's usually a bit harder to not stay around PoNR which I've learned through this thread is the wrong way to edge.

I've decided to cut out my regular kegel routine for a month or two as it might have affected my progress negatively and I think I need to build more tolerance to direct stimulation to my penis head. I'm not exactly sure how I'll go about the tolerance thing but I think some light desensitization exercises might go hand in hand with this. My breathing still needs alot of work and I think I need to learn how to implement the RKs better. Speaking of which I'd like one or two examples of successful RK routines as I think mine might be somewhat flawed (I do 500 RKs + 10x1,5 minute holds once a day for 5-6 days a week)

Again great thread and post & I hope to get your oppinion on my current situation.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Great and insightful post. I think one of the keys to overcoming premature ejaculation is controlling and enjoying yourself throughout the entire progress regardless of the bad sessions. I also seem to learn an awful lot on my increasingly rare bad days as they make it easier to tell what needs work.

Lately I feel more pleasure during my sessions even before PoNR which was very very rare before. I've also really been working heard on rewiring myself to not ejaculate every session and now I extremely rarely have the urge to ejaculate at the end of my sessions.

That being said I feel like I've taken steps both forward and backward. I can currently last 5-10 minutes with the Fleshlight without much trouble (currently working on 15 minutes) However my Iks have gotten more intense and I've a hard time combating them. I do however have alot more awareness and control over myself so it doesn't seem to bring me over PoNR anymore. Another less good thing is that it seems like I almost get more stimulation by hand or rather it seems to make that jump to PoNR much quicker than before & compared to the Fleshlight (the fleshlight feels alot better though). Not sure why but it might have something to do with that I ejaculate by hand. I still go for longer durations of time by hand but the from maybe the 15-25 minutes it's usually a bit harder to not stay around PoNR which I've learned through this thread is the wrong way to edge.

I've decided to cut out my regular kegel routine for a month or two as it might have affected my progress negatively and I think I need to build more tolerance to direct stimulation to my penis head. I'm not exactly sure how I'll go about the tolerance thing but I think some light desensitization exercises might go hand in hand with this. My breathing still needs alot of work and I think I need to learn how to implement the RKs better. Speaking of which I'd like one or two examples of successful RK routines as I think mine might be somewhat flawed (I do 500 RKs + 10x1,5 minute holds once a day for 5-6 days a week)

Again great thread and post & I hope to get your oppinion on my current situation.

If you've been doing a regular kegel routine then yes, this could well have made your IK more intense. I'll have to be honest, I've never followed a strict kegel routine, I've never had a problem with EQ so I saw no need to. I'm in the process of following one at the moment (or at least trying to) but I'm taking it slow because I'm aware that it could make things worse.

If you're finding the hand harder than the STU, it is possible that it is because you associate it with ejaculation, or it could be because of your grip. If you use a grip which puts a lot of pressure on the frenulum/ base of glans (or other sweet spots), this could make you reach the PONR fast.

Also, just to clear something up, it isn't necessarily a bad thing to stay close to the PONR, so long as you can control it. If you're in a high level plateau for instance (or even wave orgasm!), then it's fine. Of course, you need a lot of control to do this.

You can build tolerance to stimulation of sweet spots by rubbing the areas, first while flacid, then while erect, and trying not to IK. You can use a hard RK to prevent IK while doing this. Dobby has some good posts on this in his log.

My RK "routine" has been somewhat different overtime. When I started this like 2 years ago, I wasn't very serious about it. I did random RK throughout the day and during edging and occasionally say 20* 5 second holds or something for about a year or so, and this got rid of a lot of the tension. It may have been better to do a routine, but it may also be that RK can just be done during the day when you think about it, more like relaxation technique than a strength routine like kegels. If you think about it, you're going to be doing a hell of a lot of RK even if you just do like 10* 10 second holds each hour. I will try and get someone with more kegel experience than me to give you a better answer.

[dobby Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dobby]

Great post man, I've learned a ton from your thread.

Hope you don't mind but I was going to write about a similar topic on my thread but instead I'll just add to what you've already written.

I finally caved in and read The Power of Now and some parts are actually applicable to PreE.

Obviously the essence of the book is all about staying present.

What's interesting is that when your mind is racing causing feelings of doubt, anxiety or fear, even though you aren't actually experiencing any of the emotions, it will still change the biochemistry in your body.

This isn't groundbreaking since we all know that thinking about ejaculation pushes you closer to it.

But what's valuable is how to deal with these negative thought patterns.

Normally if I'm edging and I have a thought about hitting PONR too quickly, I try to push it away and by doing so am identifying with it and actually letting it affect me.

The idea is to just observe thoughts and not acknowledge them, if they're there that's fine, as long as you aren't reacting to them and just focusing on the sensations from edging/sex.

Every time you're able to simply observe thoughts without engaging them, you begin to take power away from them.

I've seen some pretty quick results from this and for me this is a much better alternative to meditation which I get bored of after about 2 minutes.

The more you can do this outside of edging as well, the easier it will be to control during.

The main takeaway for me was that it's not about some total mindfulness fulfillment.

It's simply, the moment you realize you aren't present, you're present.

So as soon as you catch your mind racing, you're already dis-identifying with those thoughts and diminishing any negative affects.

It's certainly hard, but every sexual experience (or edging session) is completely unique, so why identify it with past performance when it is it's own experience open to any possible outcome.

This is the mindset that has helped me recently.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Great and insightful post. I think one of the keys to overcoming premature ejaculation is controlling and enjoying yourself throughout the entire progress regardless of the bad sessions. I also seem to learn an awful lot on my increasingly rare bad days as they make it easier to tell what needs work.

Lately I feel more pleasure during my sessions even before PoNR which was very very rare before. I've also really been working heard on rewiring myself to not ejaculate every session and now I extremely rarely have the urge to ejaculate at the end of my sessions.

That being said I feel like I've taken steps both forward and backward. I can currently last 5-10 minutes with the Fleshlight without much trouble (currently working on 15 minutes) However my Iks have gotten more intense and I've a hard time combating them. I do however have alot more awareness and control over myself so it doesn't seem to bring me over PoNR anymore. Another less good thing is that it seems like I almost get more stimulation by hand or rather it seems to make that jump to PoNR much quicker than before & compared to the Fleshlight (the fleshlight feels alot better though). Not sure why but it might have something to do with that I ejaculate by hand. I still go for longer durations of time by hand but the from maybe the 15-25 minutes it's usually a bit harder to not stay around PoNR which I've learned through this thread is the wrong way to edge.

I've decided to cut out my regular kegel routine for a month or two as it might have affected my progress negatively and I think I need to build more tolerance to direct stimulation to my penis head. I'm not exactly sure how I'll go about the tolerance thing but I think some light desensitization exercises might go hand in hand with this. My breathing still needs alot of work and I think I need to learn how to implement the RKs better. Speaking of which I'd like one or two examples of successful RK routines as I think mine might be somewhat flawed (I do 500 RKs + 10x1,5 minute holds once a day for 5-6 days a week)

Again great thread and post & I hope to get your oppinion on my current situation.

It might be that your routine involving kegels (judging by the amount of RK you do) was to much and that it had made some habits stronger and somewhat unbalanced your pelvic floor (though I might be wrong). So taking a month break is a good idea.

One of the reasons you might be more susceptible when edging by hand is because of the specific tug that (it seems) doesn't appear during your fleshlight sessions that usually tendst to activate IKs and in combination with that tug it makes it worse. One of the ways you can remedy that is turning every IK into a kegel or reverse kegel 1-3 seconds hold.

As for kegel routine suggestion there is the pelvic floor routine here but you should also check this list to get a feeling what should be (in my opinion) the max amounts of reps for each exercise that you should not pass, in other words it is always better to increase the quality of the reps rather than the number after some point, so doing 500 reverse kegels will not benefit you as much as the amount of time and repetitive strain you inflict on your pelvic floor.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Onehanded how is yor pelvic aligment?

[Haydos380 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Haydos380]

Pegasus, hows it going mate? signed up to talk to you

[Haydos380 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Haydos380]

how do I do that?

[pegaso79 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pegaso79]

I've restructured the OP yet again, becuase I realise there was a lot of information in there that would make it extremely hard for someone who hasn't been here for very long to understand. So, I've removed as much waffle as I can, changed the order around a bit and improved paragraphing. Hopefully it's much more comprehensible now.

Anyway, I also wanted to write about my current viewpoints on Pre E, and how they've changed throughout my time here.

I have always known, since I very first came here, that my problem was caused probably entirely by bad masturbation habits. By this, I mean rushing to the PONR. I remember when I first discovered masturbation, it took me a very long time to climax, partly because I was inexperienced with my body, but also because I had a normal sexual response. I even remember being able to get into the plateau phase - by plateau phase I mean it felt really good, but I still had control.

However, like many other young people, I was overwhelmed by the sensation of orgasm. That, combined with time constraints and a fear of being caught, meant it was much more convinient to climax quickly. So, I used kegels (unknowingly) to reach orgasm as fast as possible. This is a well known story and many can relate.

The effect of this is twofold, and this is what is less well understood. Firstly, it gives you IK and a tense pelvic floor. Everyone knows this, and the way to reverse it is by reverse kegels, not rushing to the PONR, and using various other relaxtion methods such as yoga and stretches. When I came to PEGym, I thought my problem was entirely physical, because we men prefer things which have a set routine that can fix them, and would rather just ignore that we have some psycological problem, because that is not a manly thing to have. So, I set about using RK and the competing response method and rubbing my sweet spots in an attempt to remove the many IK I had. It was a complete success, and I soon removed most of the tension. However, my Pre E was not fixed. I could edge for hours if I wanted to, but the moment it began to feel good, I got massive IK and climaxed soon after.

This is where the second effect of rushing masturbation comes in. This is less well understood, and is entirely psychological. I'm not talking psychological like performance anxiety, but an involuntary psychological change in the way your brain responds to stimulation You see, rushing to the PONR changes your response to stimulation. Without a scientific background I can't use the correct terms, but by getting to orgasm quickly as a kid, you have changed pathways and chemicals in your brain, so that it automatically associates any pleasure you feel with orgasm. I like to liken this to the way nicotine changes a smokers brain so that they are always craving for another smoke. So, because you have rushed to orgasm so much, it becomes a habit. As soon as you start feeling pleasure, your brain and nervous system on autopilot think "time to ejaculate" and begin sending out the neccessary signals for the process to begin.

In terms of my personal story, once I began aiming for ejaculation, I became better and better at getting there quickly. The time I was in plateau for got shorter and shorter (the use of kegels prevents plateau) until it vanished completely. I literally went from no pleasure staright to almost orgasm. This is not normal. Your pleasure level should cap off at plateau, and stay there for some consdierable time. I had trained myself to go right past the plateau phase.

It stayed that way until one session about 6 months ago when I was tired but relaxed at night and deciced to have an edging session. Because I wasn't really thinking about it, just doing it, I wasn't overanalsying it. After some time, it occured to me that I had some quite pleasurable sensations in my penis. This was odd for me, but I went with it anyway, and before I knew it, I was feeling something which was almost orgasmic. In fact, I wrote it down in my log as a soft wave orgasm, thats how intense it was. However, this was simply the plateau phase, but because I wasn't used to feeling so much pleasure without orgamsing I didn't know what it was. As I've got more used to it, the pleasure isn't quite so overwhelming, but stills feels damn good, it occured to me that this is what guys without Pre e must feel all the time. This is how it is meant to be.

Now I know my story of how I got into plateau probably isn't that helpful - it pretty much happened by accident! However, if there is one big piece of advice I can give you in how to start getting this it would be:

Forget about orgasm and ENJOY your edging.

The fact that your body automatically associates pleasure with orgasm is a major hurdle you must overcome. You just need to do it gradually, and try your hardest to focus on controllable pleasure. If you stroke during edging and you notice a good sensation, think "that was good, I enjoyed that". Learn to want the pleasure rather than thinking "crap that felt good, i'm going to cum now". However, always be content with what you have. Soon after I discovered plateau, I began chasing it, similar to how I chased orgasm when I was younger. I cannot believe I made the same mistake twice. Of course, by chasing plateau, I was chasing good feelings, rushing to the pleasure, which of course made me orgasm quickly. You need to be relaxed, enjoy the moment, and never try and chase higher pleasure.

I appreciate this has been a long and complciated post, but I wanted to share with you the story of how I redisocovered plateau. It has been the hardest thing along my journey so far, and I don't think it could've been done without first balancing my plevic floor, but so long as you keep and positive mindset and stay open minded, it will come eventually.

I just want to add something.
I understand about the plateau fase and everything
I just want to to say that to beat premature ejaculation faster you have to get used to masturbate at hight speed motion.
That's what I did I used to masturbate slow and try just to feel good about, but when you are having sex is different. Every time you get in to intercourse there is another person and they count too.
When you have a girl riding your dick and getting wild, is not easy to have control.
I know that for experience.

[Haydos380 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Haydos380]

I just want to add something.
I understand about the plateau fase and everything
I just want to to say that to beat premature ejaculation faster you have to get used to masturbate at hight speed motion.
That's what I did I used to masturbate slow and try just to feel good about, but when you are having sex is different. Every time you get in to intercourse there is another person and they count too.
When you have a girl riding your dick and getting wild, is not easy to have control.
I know that for experience.

mate that's really informative. Is it possible to retrain yourself in a week?

[Haydos380 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Haydos380]

mate that's really informative. Is it possible to retrain yourself in a week?

How quickly can you beat PE with Reverse kegels and retraining masturbation?