Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[almightycrunch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close almightycrunch]

This seems to go hand in hand with people who have become "addicted" or reliant on porn basically. The body and mind should be able to produce an erection from either mental stimulation, and/or physical stimulation either alone or a combination of both. If "blank mind" is being utilized after an erection is achieved, physical stimulation alone, should be enough to maintain an erection. If that is not happening, then there are still some mental factors at work, ie.. anxiety about not maintaining, still needing visual and/or auditory stimulation from sources outside the brain(porn as the example)

[almightycrunch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close almightycrunch]

I do not proclaim to be any kind of expert, but I have done a lot of research, and have a good understanding of things here. Despite this level of self education, I have yet to solve my own issue of PremE to any level of satisfaction.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Well a large part of edging is about experimenting and finding what works for you. Obviously, if you can't keep an erection without other stimulation then having a blank mind isn't an option for you at the moment. What you can do is just watch a little bit of porn or preferably pictures to get it up, the try turning it off and start edging. Eventually, try and get your erection without any visual stimuli at all.

Edging with a completely blank mind is a very beginner step, and is just there for people who have never been aware of involuntary kegels before, or for people with a very bad case of Pre E that they lose control almost as soon as they use some imagination. If you find yourself losing your erection, start thinking about something sexy, if you become too aroused, stop thinking sexual thoughts.

Also, blank mind doesn't refer to a completely blank mind, just not thinking sexy thoughts; I should probably change that to make it clearer.

So yeah, having a completely blank mind isn't really that important, it's just to help become aware of IK and provide a solid starting point for edging. Don't worry about using a bit of imagination, just so long as you stay in control it's fine, and possibly needed to keep an erection.

The five steps of edging should be merged together really, rather than be seen as completely separate steps. So even while you're on the first stage , don't be afraid to add in imagination if you can remain in control. Remember, you should always be challenging yourself to the maximum level without losing control. When I started, my Pre E wasn't so severe that I couldn't edge with imagination, I just found it helpful to really focus on keeping a relaxed pelvic floor which is easier when you're not distracted by arousing thoughts, this provides a solid base to move into more challenging edging sessions. Also, being young I have never had any erection problems with a blank mind.

[Brobocop Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brobocop]

Alright, I'm getting the gist of it. So, I pretty much look at pictures when necessary to maintain an erection, and then ween myself off the visual stimulation slowly for the muscle to be able to adapt and overcome? Secondly, you think when I ween myself off completely I will be able to get a good erection with good EQ without either visual or physical stimulation? Do you just mentally focus on getting an erection and you get one, or is it more like you kegel/RK to get an erection and then go from there? My bad about all the questions, I just feel like knowledge is the first key to success. Thanks, brothers

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Thinking sexy thoughts is normally enough for me to get an erection before an edging session. Age and libido also play a part.

I think doing kegels to get an erection might be a bad idea, as it may increase tension prior to edging and could cause more involuntary kegels thus reducing stamina.

There is a dedicated ED forum on the site, you might find better answers and techniques there.

[almightycrunch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close almightycrunch]

I just had one of the best edging sessions I've ever had!!! I basically beat the living daylights out of it for 20 minutes straight!! heavy handed and with non-stop visualization and imagination, verbalizing and enjoying my beautiful wife even though she was not present anywhere but my mind. I managed to go for a full 20 minutes before approaching PONR, which I let happen. I dont know if I was consciously reducing my arousal levels as I was not even thinking about it, I was more intent on enjoying my wife and her body in my mind, at the time. Against my better judgement, I did make an attempt at a DO, as I have been working on my kegels, and do feel like I have pretty good strength at this point. I, did not, however, stop manual stimulation, and was not able to stop the contraction and did ejaculate pretty forcefully. I have been able to almost stop it in the past when I have stopped the stimulation completely, but still havent been successful with either a partial, clean, or even a retrograde orgasm as of yet. I did turn the initial PC spasm directly into a regular kegel hold, but continued the edging, and was not able to stop the ejac. I am feeling better about my chances to transfer these long edging sessions into actual sex soon, but have been reluctant to try before I had seen any results from the edging or kegel routine first. I know that I should have tried to push back from PONR as it was the first PONR of the session, but I was running out of available time, and feeling like I had some level of control going already, and I will say that this might have been the first time in my life that the edging/stimulation was at least as pleasurable for me as the orgasm was!!!!! This may be a giant step ahead for me, as I am beginning to think that my PE issue is about 95% mental anymore.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Great news, good for you!

Some of the best advice I can give is just to enjoy it and try not to worry so much; you have just illustrated that perfectly.

I wouldn't worry about ejaculating at the first PONR if it had been a long and enjoyable session. If anything it might've been a good decision, after all you probably deserved it! It may serve to reinforce good habits by acting as a sort of reward after a good session.

Other than that, well done, and enjoy what's to come.

[Brobocop Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brobocop]

So I think I found the solution to my problem.. After reading your guys' replies I decided to do an "experiment". I layed down and Thought about my wife until I got an erection. I then stopped, let the erection die down, and started again. I repeated this three times, then did my PE routine. At the end of my routine I edge, because warm downs make me turtle a little and have read that the extra blood flow is good for the muscle tissue. When I was edging I tried to relax and feel where/what the IK was. I actually noticed that my IK was in my gooch area.. If that's at all possible. I noticed that it is almost always flexed or slowly spasming. I edged for about 20 minutes trying to keep it relaxed the whole time, but couldn't really. Do you think this area should be what I try to work out? I figure if I isolate the muscle and make my "gooch muscle" stronger I'll be able to control the spasms better. What are your opinions? I figured the whole relax and think about my wife drill would help solve, and did help solve the whole erection issue I talked about earlier, which is awesome. I think I'm going to do this every on day and see if it eventually improves.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Yes, that area is one of the most common areas to feel tension building up in. You can try and relax it more effectively by performing a gentle (front) reverse kegel. You can do this throughout the day whenever you notice tension in the area and also during edging. Performing kegels to increase the strength of the area can help some guys, but can also increase tension for others. If you do chose to do kegels, make sure you do enough reverse kegels to keep help get your pelvic floor balanced. Isolation normally comes with time and practice and isn't that important initially.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Here is a thread relating to what I call too much focus on orgasm. The thread suggests that years of quick ejaculations have trained you to strive for the immense pleasure and dopamine rush of orgasm quickly.

How to overcome this urge is a tricky matter, though plateau edging should help as you will learn to resist going for the dopamine rush early, and in time (hopefully) you will no longer have this response and so will be able to get into the plateau phase.

[Cantona7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cantona7]

I do not have a set routine for Edging. I know in a way it is hurting my progress. Do you recommend 3 Day routine? Dry Edging or with lube?

I am thinking having a balanced Pelvic Floor (no activity during Edging or Sex) is better than having to counter IKs with RK holds and such. Would you agree, ammonite?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

You don't need a set routine for edging, you should just edge when you feel like it, and just make sure that when you do edge you do so to the best of your ability.

3day routine can be helpful for learning to deal with arousal yes. MM doesn't reccomend that you do it back to back but yes you can experiment with it. Anything which doesn't let you ejaculate at the end is good as it teaches your body to go without the dopamine rush of orgasm, therefore you stop being so dependent on it and over time you won't need it anymore. Then you will no longer rush to the PONR and you will be cured (baring other factors).

Lube or no lube is personal preference, the ideal is probably to do edging sessions with both.

The ultimate goal is to be able to receive stimulation with a completely relaxed pelvic floor, yes. However, forcing the pelvic floor to relax with RK holds is preferable to having IK tension/ spasms. Therefore, until you can keep a completely relaxed pelvic floor, it is best to do so with the use of RK. There is also the possibility that muscle memory can cause IK, and this needs to be rewired through the use of RK to stop IK occurring, until the response is completely eliminated. This is the basis of pe zens thread, which can be found in the OP.

[Cantona7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cantona7]

Good insight. I will give you an analogy--whenever I am aroused, I feel like there is weight on my shoulders which should be quickly put down. Good side of things is I don't ejaculate before the 20 minute mark.

But I WILL ejaculate after pretty much every edging session. Sometimes even 3 hours later because I just need to "put that weight down". And then I get all sad about how I need to be more disciplined and stuff because privacy is rare for me (hence no set routine for edging)

Considering my case, will I be better off following a set routine for lets say a couple months so I can teach my body that orgasm is not the goal. I really need to overcome that dopamine rush. What's your take?

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Okay it seems you have quite a need for that dopamine rush from orgasm. The way you describe it like a weight on your shoulders you just need to get rid sounds almost like a nicotine craving for smokers.

You should definitely try 3 day routine or a similar variation then. It will help you learn to deal with the extra arousal you get after not ejaculating. Personably, I feel energized and more horny after not ejaculating, sometimes there's even a strange tingling sensation in my dick straight afterwards. It can be quite pleasant once you get used to it. You also start noticing hot girls more often and thinking sexy thoughts, similar to giving up porn.

When you go into an edging session decide if you are going to cum or not at the end. If you decide not to cum, make sure you don't because otherwise it could harm your discipline and give you those guilty feelings. However, if it is an ejaculating session, don't feel that you have to cum, just don't think about it and decide at the end. That way ejaculating isn't a goal. Basically what I'm saying is forget about orgasm whatever the session.

In your sessions make sure you stop way back from the PONR, before there's even any hint of the dopamine rush coming, that way your body will learn to go without it. Don't be afraid to get pleasure though, just make sure you control it. The less you care about orgasm, the easier this will be, and the more likely you are to get into plateau.

You may also benefit from doing some typical start/stop edging, where you stop right before the PONR, to improve your mental discipline and prove to yourself that you can resist the dopamine rush, even when you know it's just a few strokes a way. Easy as this may seem, it takes a lot of will power to stop right before orgasm, I know because I used to have difficulty with this in the past, and still do sometimes (I should probably do start/stop edging sometimes instead of plateau). It's so hard to stop when you know the insane pleasure is so close.

Although the edging style in this thread is very different to start/stop; here the emphasis is staying away from the PONR to remove focus from orgasm and thus get into plateau, start/stop done correctly ( NO RUSHING) can be helpful for this purpose, and also for beginners to edging.

The most important thing to do when trying to "forget about orgasm" is not to think about it. At first this will be very hard, most likely you'll be thinking "dont cum, don't cum", which will of course push you closer to orgasm. What you can do is, with a picture or imagination, focus completely on one aspect of the picture (tits, ass, legs whatever) and just think what's so good about. Try not to link it to ejaculation, just why it's so hot. This is by no means an easy technique because you probably associate all these things with orgasm, but by practising it you can improve, and over time you will stop linking sexy things to orgasm, which is the goal. In essence, this is a very basic arosal control exercise. You may wish to consider following a more structured arosal control program if you have problems with too much focus on orgasm.

[Cantona7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cantona7]

Thank you ammo! I will take your advise on a few things and try them out. Will keep you posted and I'm sure I will have other questions along the way ha