(Guys) Ever felt like this?

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

well it sounds like you already got everything going quite smoothly and you just miss her. Do you know when you get to see her next?

Tomorrow on messenger or facebook.

Good news, I will be able to save enough money to go visit her by next year IF things go all right.

[TomY Banned Find all posts View Profile Close TomY]

Uh, make her cum until she goes crazy? You're inside her, controlling her reactions, and her pleasure. Who cares how many languages she's learned in her spare time? Get better than her at sex and she has nothing on you, period. That's life for the most part...

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Yeah, even though it's an important part in a relationship, women want something more permanent ... you know. But thank you for the reply

[TomY Banned Find all posts View Profile Close TomY]

Yeah, even though it's an important part in a relationship, women want something more permanent ... you know. But thank you for the reply

Yeah, and the end result is you still feeling bad that she spends her spare time memorizing things in books, and that somehow makes her "better". As she gets older and more feeble those things will fade as well as her beauty. But you can always learn new ways to drive her crazy in bed. And in the end it's all about how you feel since she doesn't seem to have a problem here. If you believe going out and learning a few languages or taking a calculus class is going to let you catch up or something, might as well do it. But like they say, those are words, and actions are always going to speak louder...

[hardcore Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hardcore]

enjoy what you have got,not worry bout loseing it ,or you will lose it. a wise old owl once said!!!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

You know, I find this thread extremely interesting because I've been in the middle of a huge, eye opening epiphany that I had on Tuesday when my lady friend sent me a hate filled, vicious email.

I've been thinking alot since Tuesday about things, my past relationships with women and so forth. It's not that I ever felt that I was too good for any of my female partners (my ex wife or my two ex gf's since my divorce) it's that as I learn more about these women over a period of time, I come to find they either came from an abusive marriage or relationship, they have low self esteem, they suffer from depression or anxiety..........whatever it is, there's something negative there and it's almost as though they get with me, a great guy who's educated, has a great job/career and is on his way to making something of himself and they sabotage themselves and blow it. It's almost as if they don't know how to handle being treated like a lady so they push me away slowly until I end things.

So, I made the decision today that when I go back into the dating world, I'm going to pay close attention to what she says and tells me during casual dinner conversation. Any issues with depression, anxiety, prior abusive relationships and it'll be "check please". I am no longer going to settle for someone...........life is too short to put up with mal treatment and I like who I am too much to put up with that.

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

You know, I find this thread extremely interesting because I've been in the middle of a huge, eye opening epiphany that I had on Tuesday when my lady friend sent me a hate filled, vicious email.

I've been thinking alot since Tuesday about things, my past relationships with women and so forth. It's not that I ever felt that I was too good for any of my female partners (my ex wife or my two ex gf's since my divorce) it's that as I learn more about these women over a period of time, I come to find they either came from an abusive marriage or relationship, they have low self esteem, they suffer from depression or anxiety..........whatever it is, there's something negative there and it's almost as though they get with me, a great guy who's educated, has a great job/career and is on his way to making something of himself and they sabotage themselves and blow it. It's almost as if they don't know how to handle being treated like a lady so they push me away slowly until I end things.

So, I made the decision today that when I go back into the dating world, I'm going to pay close attention to what she says and tells me during casual dinner conversation. Any issues with depression, anxiety, prior abusive relationships and it'll be "check please". I am no longer going to settle for someone...........life is too short to put up with mal treatment and I like who I am too much to put up with that.

Amen to that!!!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Amen to that!!!

You feel me there GettinThereOK??? lol

I figure since it's a new year and a new, fresh start. I am going to REALLY examine the women I go out with and really focus on some of what I am now going to call "buzz words": depression, anxiety, abuse, neglect, trust issues, etc......I think it's high time I take real stock in the kind of man I am, who I am as an adult and what I have to offer. This doesn't mean I'm setting my standards so high that no woman can reach them........quite the contrary. I'm just going to look much more carefully at who I choose to get involved with and who I choose to give those amazing qualities that I possess to. I'm no longer willing to give a less than deserving woman all of me and all of what I have to offer. I am putting the rose colored glasses away for good. :-)

[dsmall Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dsmall]

You feel me there GettinThereOK??? lol

I figure since it's a new year and a new, fresh start. I am going to REALLY examine the women I go out with and really focus on some of what I am now going to call "buzz words": depression, anxiety, abuse, neglect, trust issues, etc......I think it's high time I take real stock in the kind of man I am, who I am as an adult and what I have to offer. This doesn't mean I'm setting my standards so high that no woman can reach them........quite the contrary. I'm just going to look much more carefully at who I choose to get involved with and who I choose to give those amazing qualities that I possess to. I'm no longer willing to give a less than deserving woman all of me and all of what I have to offer. I am putting the rose colored glasses away for good. :-)

Relationships are supposed to enhance your life, not drag it down. I think one of the big misconceptions is that you need to "work" at relationships. I don't think that this is true in the beginning. If you are working out of the box, it's never going to really get better.

This may sound harsh, but you can value a relationship by what you pay for it, i.e. "price," how much you are working on making the relationship "work." Or you can value a relationship by what you get out of it, happy memories, support, etc. In my opinion folks that value relationships based upon "price" often look to damaged people because they often mean much more work, much more drama, etc; and after all, if you've paid such a high price for the relationship, it must be worth something, and there is going to be a pay off some day. Many of the price-value seekers are high achieving disciplined folks who have seen a lot of success in life by putting their nose to the grindstone, and gutting it out until they get a payoff. They follow a mantra, anything worth while is worth the effort. But, this is simply not true with regard to relationships. These relationships become black holes because the other part of the relationship is simply unable to reciprocate. And yes, those buzz words you speak of, often are good indicators that the other person has to resolve their own issues before they can enter into a mutually giving relationship.

Again, in my opinion, you need to start looking at relationships as to what you get out of it. Intuitively, it does appear "selfish," because you have been hard wired to think that anything worthwhile is the result of sacrifice, but the idea is that both parties are deriving pleasure and enjoyment from each others company and the relationship. Of course. there is give and take.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

You know, I find this thread extremely interesting because I've been in the middle of a huge, eye opening epiphany that I had on Tuesday when my lady friend sent me a hate filled, vicious email.

I've been thinking a lot since Tuesday about things, my past relationships with women and so forth. It's not that I ever felt that I was too good for any of my female partners (my ex wife or my two ex gf's since my divorce) it's that as I learn more about these women over a period of time, I come to find they either came from an abusive marriage or relationship, they have low self esteem, they suffer from depression or anxiety..........whatever it is, there's something negative there and it's almost as though they get with me, a great guy who's educated, has a great job/career and is on his way to making something of himself and they sabotage themselves and blow it. It's almost as if they don't know how to handle being treated like a lady so they push me away slowly until I end things.

So, I made the decision today that when I go back into the dating world, I'm going to pay close attention to what she says and tells me during casual dinner conversation. Any issues with depression, anxiety, prior abusive relationships and it'll be "check please". I am no longer going to settle for someone...........life is too short to put up with mal treatment and I like who I am too much to put up with that.

I am going to be honest..i have been in turmoil over this ..its basically a huge slap in my face

I have suffered from depression, anxiety/panic attacks, post traumatic anxiety disorder, physically, mental-emotional abuse relationships and I was sexual abuse as a child... I have worked my ass off for the last 10yrs to undo the damage and reduce the baggage that comes with all that ..

I was brain washed at a very young age by my sexual abuser that no one could or ever love me, that no could or ever will care about me, that everyone will abandon me.. he would tell me over and over that my parents didn't love me, that they would leave me,that everyone would leave me because i was worthless...he would threaten to kill my parents to drill fear into me..For 2 yrs he forced those thoughts onto me, when i was very impressionable.. So when i hear men say things like what you are saying above it .It upsets me and it triggers the little girl again. It's like confirmation to my fears..that i am too damaged to be viewed as worthy of being loved. that I am not worth investing in......but The woman in me says FUCK YOU!

Everyone has baggage, how people carry the baggage is what matters. When I'm in relationships try to leave my baggage at the door as much as i can ..Sure i might run to it on occasion and rummage through and i have automatic mechanisms that trigger in me with certain fears which i am still working on..I am aware of myself, i own my baggage but i can't always control it .. i have also noticed the life that my baggage takes on has a lot to do with the man I am with. Some men don't trigger me at all and others bring everything to the surface...so i know i have to choose carefully because not all men are man to deal...and its has just as much to do with the other persons baggage and character... No one is perfect, everyone has baggage and All relationships have issues that need to be worked through ..You need to take into account your own baggage and what is the thing that hooks you to crazies.. i suspect it what happens in the bedroom ..lol

I do get your anger and hurt towards Renee and the frustration you feel about your choices in women.. But i would suggest you focus more on a persons character and ethics then their baggage when your are trying to decide who is worthy of your love...and also figure out what it is that keeps drawing you to the destructive types . is it the excitement? the chase? the sex? the energy? the need to be a hero?

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Check this out, it's between me and her.

________________________________________
Kasey says:
boyfriend
Rave says:
he's your boyfriend?
Kasey says:
I think so haha
Rave says:
eehhh
wel lthat hurt
Kasey says:
wait, why?
Rave says:
you said hunter's your boyfriend =/
Kasey says:
mhm
nothing is going to change between us
Rave says:
wait
you said you love me
Kasey says:
I dooo
Rave says:
but you have a boyfriend
Kasey says:
I love you no matter what. or who ever-what. lol
Rave says:
but you have a boyfriend
Kasey says:
you're more important.
Rave says:
so you're dating and he's gonna hug you and hold you and all
Kasey says:
>.>
Rave says:
yup, that hurt.
Kasey says:
why?
Rave says:
because
you have a freaking boyfriend that's gonna hold you and kiss you and all
Kasey says:
you weren't like this with Travis >.>
Rave says:
this guy's been away for years
and he coems now and you're dating?
hun, what would you feel if i got a girlfriend?
Kasey says:
the same.
v.v
Rave says:
then why?
Kasey says:
why, what?
Rave says:
why get a boyfriend when you know i would feel hurt and somewhat angry, and i know you'd feel the same if i got a girlfriend
i mean
i dont get it
Kasey says:
like I said, NOTHING is going to change between us unless you want it to.
Rave says:
i dont
but, there's a man there you're dating
i dont get it
Kasey says:
what aren't you getting?
Rave says:
why do you have a boyfriend now?
whe nyou said you love me
and what do you think he's gonna do when he finds out?
Kasey says:
I've loved you for year, Rushil.
I've loved you while I've had other boyfriends. You knew that.
Rave says:
was it necessary this time?
to see kasey cochran, relation ship with hunter?
Kasey says:
you want me to stay single?
Rave says:
don't we amount to anything?
Kasey says:
you're everything to me
Rave says:
then why bring another man now ...
and you know he's going to make moves on you
Kasey says:
I don't see a difference between now and then
Rave says:
i do
i treasure you more than ever before
and this time i can't stand another guy holding you in his arms
im sorry, im too attached to you.
Kasey says:
no,, I'm sorry..
Rave says:
yeah, okay
and maybe i wont look for an apprenticeship there.
Kasey says:
v.v

Your Video Call has ended.

Rave says:
this doesn't feel right
not this time, it really doesn't.
Kasey says:
Ima go
Rave says:
yeah
__________________________________________________ _______

Well, she's upset. She's telling me to forget it. I told her it's been a while since I've felt this way so give me some time to cool down.

What the fuck do I do now.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I know this is deeply personal and maybe none of you would be able to help me out.

I can't stand her being someone else's. I'm .................. fucked.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

Wow man. Do you have AIM? It would be much easier to talk to you on there. If you don't I'll just say what I gotta say.

My screen name is sexyfaced19

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I'm sorry I don't have AIM, only messenger.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

Is this a long distance relationship? If it is I think she's just waiting to see you. She sees it as you're far away and she needs someone close to her. She'll always love you but she still needs the physical contact. One of my childhood friends who recently came back into my life lives 1600 miles away. She's always on about sex and getting married etc. but she has a boyfriend. If I see her and she's single then we'll get it on but we're both being practical. I think you need to start looking for your best interest and find yourself another girl. I know it'll be hard but its your best solution.