Son's graduation!

[poppscc Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close poppscc]

go and take the high road. I can say, that as a young kid, my parents were in a similar divorce, and of course, my mom highly manipulative (I stayed with her). I would go years without seeing my dad, and it was a really sad thing for me. As I started to grow older, I figured out a lot of things, when my dad was there for me, when he wasnt (plenty of times). Turns out, my dad is kind of a shitty dad. He doesnt always come to his grandkids events and often misses out on those sorta things. Wont see him babysitting EVER.

I still keep in touch with him, just dont hate him as much as before and really wish he wasnt such a shitty dad. In contrast, I have great relations with my kids, would be crushed if I lost it.

You're kids can and WILL change over time. They'll figure out mom's manipulation, and get that relationship back, it can be a great thing. Just tough it out, they will remember.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Honestly...sometimes I have no idea how my son got a BSc(Hons) degree!

He's been away for a week camping and got back yesterday evening...he emailed me to say he was back safe and that he hadn't been "home" yet to get the info about graduation day he was expecting to be posted from his Uni. My presumption was that he was staying at his girlfriends house that night because he had been camping with her family.

My son's always been pretty laid back (not lazy but chilled), so much so that I used to tell him that he needed a firework up his arse at times. Anyway, I ended up texting him tonight to find out about the details of the day...he emailed me back saying...

ooight old man?

Tuesday… I’ve got your ticket, you need to be at the barbican at 8:45, ceremony doesn't start until 10:15 but ‘there’s many things for you and your family to attend before and after’. As far as I can tell you have to come suited and booted.

that's it really!

So...I send an email back...

A question that I have to ask for pretty obvious reasons Danny boy...are the seats allocated in a block or can you sit anywhere?

I know you said that there's some kind of register when you arrive...but I'm not going to see you before the "big day" to get my ticket,so do I just turn up and tell them my name or what?

Also, how do I get the video that's going to be made of the day?

Do you have any plans after your graduation...going out for a meal, celebration etc etc?

He sends me one back...

It is allocated seating, ill ask but im not sure if there’s much I can do about it

I can meet you before and hand it over to ya but if you’re not too confidant with that I can drop it up to you tomorrow evening?

I have the stuff for you to get the vid so I will either bring that along with me or give it to ya on the day

Well I have nothing set in stone but my plan was to go out for a drink with you, then mum. All the guys are gonna do something similar with their parents then we’re all meeting up and going for some last drinks together so I was gonna join then when im done

That is going to be very awkward...I haven't really seen my ex since the divorce or my daughter for at least a couple of years. I just don't understand what he was thinking. Looks like I'm going to have to buy a big box of fireworks!

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Need some thoughts on this...running out of time!

[computerguy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close computerguy]

Take the high road. Go. Sounds like he understands the issues to some degree. Ain't nothing saying you have to say anything if you don't want to.

I went through a horrible divorce as well. And thankfully no kids involved. But I do run into her from time to time and I just do my own thing and treat her like anyone else I don't know or associate with.

Just pretend your at a sporting event sitting beside someone you don't know or care to know and focus on the game and don't think about anything else till its done and your home if you have too.

Once in a lifetime event. And it sounds like he wants you there. That's a good thing.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Don't think anymore, just go. Anticipation of anxiety will create it.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

I'd find out from your son if you're seated with your ex and daughter beforehand, just so you can perhaps mentally prepare for that in advance. That would be difficult, indeed, but you can either try and cement your psyche to deal with that; or, maybe arrange to just stand in the back of the auditorium and watch, if it's something you just don't believe you can do with civility. Most importantly, don't let your son down by not attending. Be there for HIM, and you'll be glad you did, later. Do otherwise, and your wife once again just gets to do the blame game and trash you as the absent father all over again! Bite the bullet, whatever you do, and GO! BE RESOLUTE IN THAT, and everything else will work out better for you & your son's relationship, long-term.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Just having a rant here! Told my son I was going out to get a new shirt and tie for tomorrow. "Oh right! Can you get me a plain silver tie as well while you're out? I don't care if it's shiny or not and I don't care what style it is, fat or thin." he said.

So, I go and buy him a plain silver tie and send him a text to let him know. He sends me a text back, "Can you send me a picture?"

Hahaha...KIDS!!!

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

You're going to have a good time!

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

You're going to have a good time!

Cheers CUSP...much appreciated.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Smoke a big bowl before hand and surround yourself with peace.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Smoke a big bowl before hand and surround yourself with peace.

Hahaha...Thanks Wishful...good advice as usual!

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Smoke a big bowl before hand and surround yourself with peace.

Well, since your ex & daughter are there...smoke a BIG BOWL at least...just sayin'...

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

We can almost never speak so someone can not misunderstand us. Hahahah

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Well, since your ex & daughter are there...smoke a BIG BOWL at least...jusy sayin'...

Cheers Jock...I'm gonna wear a cockring to accentuate the "man bulge" as well...just to remind her what she's missing!

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

We can almost never speak so someone can not misunderstand us. Hahahah

LET THERE BE NO MISUNDERSTANDING ABOUT THIS, TAMORA...SMOKE A BIG BOWL!