Why are you here?

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

You have a legitimate question and I take no offense to it.

To me, I am here to learn how men think. It will help me understand my husband and friends better. I am also here because I think that I have some valuable insight that can help people that may be misinterpreting situations. There is an undeniable difference in the way men and women approach relationships and adversity and how they define a relationship and there is no better way to grow as a human being than to see life in someone else shoes.

As for the picture thing - I don't actually ever go and look at the photo albums of the men here as I am only interested in one penis and I can see it in living color.

Let me know if this answers your question or if you want more info.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

You have a legitimate question and I take no offense to it.

To me, I am here to learn how men think. It will help me understand my husband and friends better. I am also here because I think that I have some valuable insight that can help people that may be misinterpreting situations. There is an undeniable difference in the way men and women approach relationships and adversity and how they define a relationship and there is no better way to grow as a human being than to see life in someone else shoes.

As for the picture thing - I don't actually ever go and look at the photo albums of the men here as I am only interested in one penis and I can see it in living color.

Let me know if this answers your question or if you want more info.

And ZZmans manhood is in three D. And. He’s a hell of a cook. But. On the flip side I have no issues with the female members here taking a look at my pics. I’d appreciate honest opinions but I know the ladies here would spare me any embarrassment. So. Not really important I guess. But I am one tan mother F’er. That’s worth a look see by its self, LOL.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

And ZZmans manhood is in three D. And. He’s a hell of a cook. But. On the flip side I have no issues with the female members here taking a look at my pics. I’d appreciate honest opinions but I know the ladies here would spare me any embarrassment. So. Not really important I guess. But I am one tan mother F’er. That’s worth a look see by its self, LOL.

I think my wife prefers tan lines - of those, you have none. I'm sure she supports whatever you are packing regardless of the visual. Each do there own thing and be proud of what you both have and how you present it. The misses likes a good "dancing dick" show every now and then. Use your imagination - its different every time. Mix it up, your partner will appreciate it.

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

You have a legitimate question and I take no offense to it.

Then this is one place where my brusque manner isn't a bad thing.

To me, I am here to learn how men think. It will help me understand my husband and friends better. I am also here because I think that I have some valuable insight that can help people that may be misinterpreting situations. There is an undeniable difference in the way men and women approach relationships and adversity and how they define a relationship and there is no better way to grow as a human being than to see life in someone else shoes.

I can appreciate all of that from an objective perspective, but subjectively, I've come to distrust women as much as I distrust me - people in my world see me as an easy target or an object of derision and pity, and, yes, women I've slept with have told me I'm small after the fact, or not big enough or their new guy is bigger - it all scans the same to me - they were either lying at the time they were with me, or they were lying after the fact.

Compound that with the fact that after innumerable rejections (I stopped counting at 83), and the quality of the few interactions I have had, I don't even bother trying anymore. "But what if you meet someone tomorrow who is everything you ever wanted?" Doubtful. Doubtful to such a degree that I'd be better served by going to Las Vegas and putting all my money on black (and trust me, I hate gambling). The relationships I've had happened because I ignored pretty big issues that I thought I was being too picky on (lazy slob with an aversion to femininity, serial cheaters who were using me as an emotional crutch... you get the idea). "But what if you'd waited?" Then I'd still be waiting - 40, never been kissed, and, shit, never even ejaculated. "But we attract the people in our lives we deserve." Okay, so how I do attract women in my life worth attracting? Women who either aren't lying about penis size, or at least honest in saying that they like me regardless if penis size?

Hey, maybe I am seeing an upside.

Let me know if this answers your question or if you want more info.

It helps answer the question a great deal, thank you. I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with it, but then again, I just came back from an hour of humiliation at the gym, which compounded with my current headspace is not doing me much good.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I think my wife prefers tan lines - of those, you have none. I'm sure she supports whatever you are packing regardless of the visual. Each do there own thing and be proud of what you both have and how you present it. The misses likes a good "dancing dick" show every now and then. Use your imagination - its different every time. Mix it up, your partner will appreciate it.

LOL. Check out my latest pic on the nudist group. You of all people will appreciate it.

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

... But. On the flip side I have no issues with the female members here taking a look at my pics. I’d appreciate honest opinions but I know the ladies here would spare me any embarrassment. So. Not really important I guess. But I am one tan mother F’er. That’s worth a look see by its self, LOL.

Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't - that is an impressive member. Of course, it's also groomed (a pain in the tuchus for a curly guy like me, and frankly, the one place you can still tell I'm a redhead), and you're snipped - which has been a point of inadequacy for me since high school when more than one girl I had a crush on stated their preference for 'cut' guys. Like size, any woman who I encounter that tells me foreskin doesn't matter is full of it.

Then again, just have erections that were that impressive would be nice too.

Yeah, definitely envious of your goods - congratulations! (Both on the hard work and making me feel even worse)

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

I don't think this place would be the same without some female members. They help answer tough question, give honest feedback, and balance the masculine tone of this site. God bless em.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

LOL. Check out my latest pic on the nudist group. You of all people will appreciate it.

Your pictures have no power over me, I will not turn to the Gay side of the force. I must resist the urge. To be honest, I like you all as a friend - trying not to be curious if you know what I mean.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

Then this is one place where my brusque manner isn't a bad thing.



I can appreciate all of that from an objective perspective, but subjectively, I've come to distrust women as much as I distrust me - people in my world see me as an easy target or an object of derision and pity, and, yes, women I've slept with have told me I'm small after the fact, or not big enough or their new guy is bigger - it all scans the same to me - they were either lying at the time they were with me, or they were lying after the fact.

Compound that with the fact that after innumerable rejections (I stopped counting at 83), and the quality of the few interactions I have had, I don't even bother trying anymore. "But what if you meet someone tomorrow who is everything you ever wanted?" Doubtful. Doubtful to such a degree that I'd be better served by going to Las Vegas and putting all my money on black (and trust me, I hate gambling). The relationships I've had happened because I ignored pretty big issues that I thought I was being too picky on (lazy slob with an aversion to femininity, serial cheaters who were using me as an emotional crutch... you get the idea). "But what if you'd waited?" Then I'd still be waiting - 40, never been kissed, and, shit, never even ejaculated. "But we attract the people in our lives we deserve." Okay, so how I do attract women in my life worth attracting? Women who either aren't lying about penis size, or at least honest in saying that they like me regardless if penis size?

Hey, maybe I am seeing an upside.



It helps answer the question a great deal, thank you. I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with it, but then again, I just came back from an hour of humiliation at the gym, which compounded with my current headspace is not doing me much good.

So if you truly believe "But we attract the people in our lives we deserve." than what makes you think you don't deserve the best? What have you done that is so bad that you don't deserve someone wonderful?

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

Your pictures have no power over me, I will not turn to the Gay side of the force. I must resist the urge. To be honest, I like you all as a friend - trying not to be curious if you know what I mean.

That's okay, I can safely say it's envy, not lust, that I'm experiencing. I can admit it's a nice member, but have no interest in it beyond wishing mine were more like it.

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

So if you truly believe "But we attract the people in our lives we deserve." than what makes you think you don't deserve the best? What have you done that is so bad that you don't deserve someone wonderful?

You know what? I honestly have no idea. Growing up, I was a horrible romantic. No, I wasn't horrible at it - I believed in it horribly. In my teens I was almost female in the way I built up this vision of myself and my 'girlfriend' - the way we'd go out to the movies, or have a meal. Mostly though, I was anticipating my first kiss. As someone who hadn't ejaculated at that point, I wasn't thinking sex. Sure, I'd get aroused at the thought (and was worried about how she would respond to a guy getting hard while kissing her), but me having sex? No, let's worry about getting the girl and her being interested enough to kiss me first.

My first girlfriend (a disaster to be sure) told me when she was breaking up with me "Tracuer, you're not the man a girl dates - you're the man a girl marries." I think my response at the times was something along the lines of "I was going to marry you." This is despite the fact that I had just turned 20 (she kind enough to not tell me about her cheating/new beau until after my birthday), and our relationship started out of her giving me a pity-fuck (an hour after my first kiss, no less) as she was leaving town and getting kicked out of university. Focusing and committing myself to future relationships has proven no better, because while they're with me they more often than not have an eye elsewhere - I'm not a boyfriend, I'm a bookmark.

I thought that being a good man, a gentleman, being generous with my time, working hard, providing for those around me, I thought that would more than suffice. I'm currently coming off the back off a bunch of PUA crap that seems to highly over-inflated hype. I'm at a point where I don't want someone in my life for the long haul - that just ends up with me being overly-committed and her straying somewhere else, probably hitting me up for the taxi fare as she does so. Whether I'm kind to women or a complete arsehole doesn't change the fact that most of the time I'm simply invisible, and even when I'm not, I'm certainly not considered as a viable male option (whether they're seeking or not).

I want to meet a woman who doesn't want me as husband, or a boyfriend, or a partner (because I've yet to encounter a 'partnership' that is equal) - I want a woman who wants me as a man, and if that happens to be for ten minutes in a toilet stall, I'll just have to settle for that. I could come up with a list of what I'd like in a woman (and it would be a pretty extensive list, with some surprising areas of flexibility), but someone wonderful? Yeah, I think she's seeing someone else, or working, or has to vacuum the cat....

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

So if you truly believe "But we attract the people in our lives we deserve." than what makes you think you don't deserve the best? What have you done that is so bad that you don't deserve someone wonderful?

This is really good advice.

I might add that we settle for the best we think we can get. If slobbish tomboys, serial cheaters, and emotionally manipulative women is the best you think you can do you must not think too highly of yourself. You gotta see yourself as high value if you want a high value woman and have a zero tolerance policy for any kind of cheating or abuse.

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

This is really good advice.

I might add that we settle for the best we think we can get. If slobbish tomboys, serial cheaters, and emotionally manipulative women is the best you think you can do you must not think too highly of yourself. You gotta see yourself as high value if you want a high value woman and have a zero tolerance policy for any kind of cheating or abuse.

And you know where that would have got me? (and you, after reading your posts?) Home, alone, with a small winky and no idea what women want in a guy beyond 'not me'. Actually, that's where I'm at right now, so having standards or not results in pretty much the same outcome, although in not having standards, my balls occasionally end up drained.

You're right, I don't think much of myself. That's because I have to live in a society with other independent organisms, who don't think anything of me. Good clothes, $50 haircuts and 4 months at the gym mean nothing. Effort in improving myself results in me still just improving myself - when is there a fucking break-even point? A pay-out? Is my life poker machine enslaved my a gambling monster - I call him Gamblor!? I can buy the argument of continual self-improvement - that's why we're here - but if I have nothing to show for all the effort, then what?

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

And you know where that would have got me? (and you, after reading your posts?) Home, alone, with a small winky and no idea what women want in a guy beyond 'not me'. Actually, that's where I'm at right now, so having standards or not results in pretty much the same outcome, although in not having standards, my balls occasionally end up drained.

Small winky? Speak for yourself. And I'm on here bitching about having sex with 19 year old in college, not about how women don't like me. I may be an introvert but I have standards and don't complain about the women who don't want me. I could care less if I'm not some stuck up chicks type.

You're right, I don't think much of myself. That's because I have to live in a society with other independent organisms, who don't think anything of me. Good clothes, $50 haircuts and 4 months at the gym mean nothing. Effort in improving myself results in me still just improving myself - when is there a fucking break-even point? A pay-out? Is my life poker machine enslaved my a gambling monster - I call him Gamblor!? I can buy the argument of continual self-improvement - that's why we're here - but if I have nothing to show for all the effort, then what?

Blah, blah, blah! Dude, you have got to stop blaming others and take some accountability. It's not society's fault you can't get laid it's your attitude.

Women aren't going to just going to throw themselves at you if you go to the gym regularly, get a $50 haircut, or have a big penis. You have to have a personality that isn't shitty and bring something else to the table besides your dick.

And if this is the way you act IRL that should give you some indicator of why you're not finding anyone worthwhile to sleep with you. Gotta work on not being so negative and expecting the world to give you what you want.

[Traceur77 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Traceur77]

Ah, there's that Great Divider arrogance I've seen referenced elsewhere!

Small winky? Speak for yourself. And I'm on here bitching about having sex with 19 year old in college, not about how women don't like me. I may be an introvert but I have standards and don't complain about the women who don't want me.

Then that would be, in my case... pretty much every woman. The only reason that I've had the level of interactions I've had so far is because I ignored any standards I had for myself. The women I've been involved with, being human aside, were probably not great for me, but if not them, then who?


[/QUOTE]Blah, blah, blah! Dude, you have got to stop blaming others and take some accountability. It's not society's fault you can't get laid it's your attitude. [/QUOTE]

You know what? I admit that, at the heart of it, I'm the one faulty constant in all of this. I'm willing to see that I am the problem, but by that, I don't see how I, being me, whether kind romantic 16 year old or bitter twisted 40 year old, is going to solve this?

Women aren't going to just going to throw themselves at you if you go to the gym regularly, get a $50 haircut, or have a big penis. You have to have a personality that isn't shitty and bring something else to the table besides your dick.

Personality? That must be in the same aisle the keep the 'Confidence' - in that mythical supermarket that doesn't exist.

And if this is the way you act IRL that should give you some indicator of why you're not finding anyone worthwhile to sleep with you. Gotta work on not being so negative and expecting the world to give you what you want.

Actually, I don't act like this IRL. I don't act like anything IRL. If I 'deserve the best', as someone above said, then where is it? If I'm supposed to be improving, then shouldn't there be some sort external signposts to let me know that I am. I don't expect the world to give me what I want, I also don't expect to have hard work not count for two-thirds of fuckall.