A Laugh for the Forum

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

Oh...I don't know. Wrong number?

A bug bit it. My 5 year old cousin came up with this one.

[Hairtrigger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hairtrigger]

That was a good one JP, I'll add it to my list toward's the top.

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

What did the banana say to the telephone poll?
A bug bit it.

Sorry buddy, you lost me on this one.

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas
ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher,"I need to
inspect your ranch for your water allocation."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The Water representative says, "Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull
is gaining with every step.

The Rep is clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately throws
down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his
lungs.....

"Your card! Show him your card!"

.

[SamWrerseSype Banned Find all posts View Profile Close SamWrerseSype]

how i can find with google ...

Hi

(links removed by JonPop)

G'night

Yes. G'night spammer.

[Hairtrigger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hairtrigger]

JonPop......a PE legend....A spammer's living nightmare.

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Had lot's of practice. Hee

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

A Plane Is On Its Way To Toronto , When A Blonde

In Economy Class Gets Up And Moves

To The First Class Section And Sits Down.


The Flight Attendant Watches Her Do This,

And Asks To See Her Ticket.

She Then Tells The Blonde That She Paid

For Economy Class, And That

She Will Have To Sit In The Back.


The Blonde Replies,

'i'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful,

I'm Going To Toronto ,

And I'm Staying Right Here'.


The Flight Attendant Goes Into The Cockpit

And Tells The Pilot And The Co-pilot

That There Is A Blonde Bimbo

Sitting In First Class That Belongs In Economy,

And Won't Move Back To Her Seat.


The Co-pilot Goes Back To The Blonde

And Tries To Explain That Because

She Only Paid For Economy She Will

Have To Leave And Return To Her Seat.

The Blonde Replies,

'i'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful,

I'm Going To Toronto ,

And I'm Staying Right Here'.


The Co-pilot Tells The Pilot That He

Probably Should Have The Police Waiting

When They Land To Arrest This Blonde

Woman Who Won't Listen To Reason.


The Pilot Says, 'you Say She Is A Blonde?

I'll Handle This, I'm Married

To A Blonde. I Speak Blonde'.

He Goes Back To The Blonde And

Whispers In Her Ear, And She Says,

'oh, I'm Sorry,' And Gets Up And Goes

Back To Her Seat In Economy..


The Flight Attendant And Co-pilot

Are Amazed And Asked Him What He Said

To Make Her Move Without Any Fuss.


'i Told Her That First Class Isn't Going To Toronto.'

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

That was pretty funny, hehehehehe!

[Hairtrigger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hairtrigger]

There was a rookie on a police force going out on his first day,they put him in the car with a known veteran to the force
to show him around. After meeting with several of the locals they started patroling the streets, it was a laid back community
with only a couple of main roads running through town, they decided to set up and practice with the radar.

P1: OK, we don't get that many speeder's through here but we need to make our presence shown.
P2: Roger that!! Hey here comes one.... They are going 50 in a 35!!!
P1: No problem, we will have them pulled over in no time.

The officer pulled the speeder over and informed the rookie to stay in the cruiser. The veteran approached the car had a few words
with the driver and walked back to the cruiser.

P1: Well, I'm going to let you handle this one on your own, here is what I need you to do. Walk up to the car and unzip your pant's.
P2: That's ridiculous!!!!
P1: Just trust me on this one OK.......
P2: Well, OK....

The rookie walked toward the car and as he got closer he could see a beautiful young blonde at the wheel, he looked back at the
other officer only to receive a wink and a nod. He stepped to the door of the car and slowly unzipped his pant's and the blonde responded.
Oh no, Not ANOTHER breathalyzer test!!!!

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

One of my favorite jokes.

President Bush was in the oval office doing some paper work.
Donald Rumsfeld came in and whispered in his ear, "We lost Three Brazilian soldiers killed in action today, Mr. President."
Bush lowered his head into his hands and sobbed. He peeked out through his fingers and asked, "Rummy, just how many is a Brazilian?"

[Hairtrigger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hairtrigger]

Oh man, that ain't right.........But I can't seem to stop laughing for some reason.....Brazilian

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Yeah, I love that one. Isn't a Brazilian around 14 or 15? Hee

[Hairtrigger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hairtrigger]

JonPop, I was thinking of some solution that would help alleviate stiffness or swelling associated with my unit after PE. What do you think of soaking my unit in cider for a couple of hours? Do you think the juices that are found in cider would contain any healing properties? I suppose you could soak your fingers in cider also just to check to see if it is ready for your unit. Just trying to think outside the box, let me know what you think about this possibly revolutionary idea that could expand PE knowledge to greater lengths.

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

I think it would be a great idea to alleviate the swelling and stifness to soak it in cider.
And yes, by all means check it with your finger first. You want to make sure that it is hot enough. You might also, want to check with your tongue to see if it is sweet enough. (Are we doing this with a straight face?) Hee.