Just A Girl, Looking To Understand Her Guy

[mrwood Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrwood]

Men tend to equate work status and sexual proficiency to "being a man", and if he has ED, it is very likely that he doesn't feel like he can be as "perfect" for you as he should be... in his mind at least.

Regardless of the fact that his ED might be purely psychological or also physical, this is a subject that is very sensitive for most men, and that is very connected to his confidence, which can further worsen the ED issue.

Healthy habits are a big plus - good food, no smoking, regular light and moderate exercise. And some natural supplements like Maca, L-Arginine, Horny Goat Weed, Ginseng, are great for ED and a multi-vitamin if you want to.

As for you, considering he already takes Viagra... you could suggest Penile Exercises (start with beginner routine + kegels + masturbating without orgasming) as a means to use less viagra because you don't feel confortable with him being medicated with a pill that can have serious side effects.
It could also be something you do together, and make it a fun activity that is sexual but does not have pleasure as the end goal.

At the same time, i'd try to assure him that you're pleased with him, that he excites you and you don't think less of him because of it.
IMO it is very important for a man to feel that his sexual prowess won't jeopardize the relationship, and your hapiness with him.
That was my biggest concern when i had low erection quality - to be dumped because i couldn't be the sex god that every man secretly wants to be to his woman.

And finally, it is important to realize that this is a process, and not a quick fix usually so it will take time, dedication and patience.

[gms585 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gms585]

There seems to be 3 major causes of ED IMO. psychological , physical and hormonal. Only 1 of the 3 has to be sorted out internally and without the help of outside forces.

For those who have medical issues often the issue stems from excessive BP, for very poor blood flow (in the case of diabetes). Often a well regulated diet and workout regimen can at the very least help that. By getting your diet in check and getting sufficient physical activity you offset any outside impact on the above listed issues. Obviously there are extreme cases where it wont matter, but in the quick to pop a pill world i think there is a lack of faith in what we can achieve physically with some hard work and dedication.

As for the hormonal issues. Well have a doctor do blood work. Again so many people today have hormonal imbalances. Sedentary lifestyles and shit diets with lots of chemicals obviously is having an impact on us as a species. A good doctor with experience in hormone imbalances can take blood labs and tell you if you are outside of the healthy normal ranges. Often if you are fixing this can fix ED issues as well as overall energy issues and mood issues.

As for the psychological i dont put much stock in head headshrinkers. I think thats something you need to work out yourself.

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Jackinthebox,

Thank you for your welcome. It might take a little while before I include my lover in my exploration. I'm sure he will feel welcomed when I introduce this forum to him.

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Dangler,

Thank you for your welcome. My quest for knowledge has always been on interesting paths!

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

CUSP82,

Well, I will try my darnedest not to write porn type questions. The origin of his ED is not something I am perfectly sure of. I believe that it is mostly physical because his doctor prescribed him Viagra. Although, some doctors will prescribe anything to anyone. He has other physical/neurological health issues that are unrelated to ED.

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Ravenously,

Thanks for the welcome. I will be looking into his diet. His diet is one area which I haven't pushed, as far as vitamins. I take vitamins and have tried to get him to take them, he has not been interested. He does eat healthful though(he mostly eats my cooking

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

It makes perfect sense. Although, you shouldn't worry too much about it, because I know he is already thinking about all these things. This is based of course under the fact that he has a doctor prescribing him medication to treat his ED. In the case of the "planning" to have sex to take viagra or something, it can be avoided by switching medication to cialis. Cialis stays in the body for up to 36 hours. That means, he can take a low dose every day upon waking up and he will be ready to go at any time.

You will find answers to all your questions in these forums.

Jackxxx,

Thank you. I will look into Cialis.

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

I would like to also say that a big breakthrough for me was the checking of my testosterone level. Mine turned out to be low and outside the range. I began hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and have since built that "T" number up into the above average range and I feel so much better. I have more energy, get morning erections that wake me up at night, am no longer depressed and horny as a goat all the time.

I am on the daily low dose cialis for the same reasons outlined - no spontaneity at all, everything needed to be planned in advance. I take it more on the weekends now (friday, sat, and sun) as it is so expensive. From time to time I will take one mid week to keep it in my system.

But continue to read, I read for over a year to convince myself that this was the place to join and try. So drink in as much knowledge as you can. Your lover would benefit greatly but also keep in mind that you are here for yourself at this stage. We can work on him later.

Post specific questions in the relationship forum or the woman's perspective forum. Q and Scarlett as well as ML4M and KimWiley will surely chime in so you can talk shop with the gals (and guys). Don't hold back, as long as it is not too pornographic, lots slide here.

TheZZMan,

I have been reading about the exercises and looked at the woman's forum. One of my ex's had low T and my current lover does not exhibit the behavior or symptoms of low T, so I am not concerned about that. I will read other people's posts before I ask any personal questions so I do not write anything pornographic.

Peaches~

[peachykeen Member Find all posts View Profile Close peachykeen]

Hey Peaches!

Welcome to the Gym.

i am a diabetic and have suffered with increasing ED for over 20 years. It is now quite severe to the point that I can no longer achieve an erection with even 150 mg of Viagta. Accordingly, I now need to resort to other means (injections and/or a Vacume erection device) in order to achieve an erection.

That being said, my very understanding wife of more than 45 years and I enjoy penetrative sex five or six days a week. In my opinion, using the above techniques in order to achieve an erection allows me to have confidence in my manhood and my ability to pleasure my wife.

Perhaps your partner has not yet reached the point that I have regarding the severity of his ED, but I thought it would be helpful to know that it is possible to enjoy a mutually satisfying sexual relationship no matter how bad the situation becomes.

Since your partner is taking a prescription medication, he most likely is seeing a medical professional. In this regard, has your partner been tested to determine the cause of his ED. In this regard,it is best to be treated for the cause rather than being prescribed temporary "cover-ups" which could be masking the root cause. If you know the cause, let us know and we will be better able to advise you on how to approach your situation. Also, remember open communication regarding each other regarding problems and needs is the best way to maintain a long lasting relationship.

in the meantime, if you have any questions regarding the various techniques and treatments used to overcome ED, please feel free to ask.

Not2big,

Thanks for your post. I am pretty sure that my love would not want to get more medical help for his ED at this time. Our communications are an issue that we are working on. We tell each other when something bothers us, however, there is rarely a resolution. We are working on resolutions. Most of our issues are my fault. In my past, I have been able to easily please my lover. Hopefully, what I learn here will help me better please him.

Peaches~

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Most of the issues are your fault? Usually 50/50 in relationships!

[rippem Banned Find all posts View Profile Close rippem]

Welcome to the board..I'm curious to know how you being on here and not him will help you better please him? And why is it you won't ask him to come on here and does he know your on here? I think if he wants to better himself he should be the one to come on here. And if you didn't tell him your on here I feel that is wrong of you..how do you think he would feel finding out your talking to guys about his and yours problems? It's like him going to a girl board and asking how he can teach you how to tight up your vagina and not telling you. To me number one thing in a relationship is trust and honesty.. I'm just curious that's all..and good luck finding what your looking for..

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Welcome to the board..I'm curious to know how you being on here and not him will help you better please him? And why is it you won't ask him to come on here and does he know your on here? I think if he wants to better himself he should be the one to come on here. And if you didn't tell him your on here I feel that is wrong of you..how do you think he would feel finding out your talking to guys about his and yours problems? It's like him going to a girl board and asking how he can teach you how to tight up your vagina and not telling you. To me number one thing in a relationship is trust and honesty.. I'm just curious that's all..and good luck finding what your looking for..

Rippem, if you bothered to read her posts, you would see that she is here to better educate herself so that she can better present herself to her lover. She is not sneaking off and having talks with strange guys behind anyone's back. She is educating herself on her lovers condition so she is better informed during her future discussions with him. Try to be a little more polite to one of our newest members and offer her something constructive - that is what we do around here.

Peaches, this is what I meant when I said that the members are more bark than bite, or in this case, just a bit rude.

[rippem Banned Find all posts View Profile Close rippem]

I'm not being rude, and she is talking to strange guys and it is behind her boyfriend's back. Lol..if she is concerned with him then maybe she should tell him about the board so HE TELLS US HIS PROBLEMS. if my wife was on a penis board talking to strange men about me and my problem I would not be happy and I know my wife would be upset if I was on a girl board and don't tell her I was talking about her Vagina..if she really wants to know how to better him or please him maybe she should ask HIM.. not us.. sorry but none of this makes sense to me. And she asked if it was alright and I answered..and peechykeen I don't bark nor do I bite but I am honest. And I hope your boyfriend comes and ask us for help so we fully understand what he really needs..I wish him and you the best of luck..

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

Peachy, welcome to the forum!

Can I ask though - it almost seems that you feel his ED issues are your fault, is that the case? Because...no.

[ScarletSkull Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScarletSkull]

I'm not being rude, and she is talking to strange guys and it is behind her boyfriend's back. Lol..if she is concerned with him then maybe she should tell him about the board so HE TELLS US HIS PROBLEMS. if my wife was on a penis board talking to strange men about me and my problem I would not be happy and I know my wife would be upset if I was on a girl board and don't tell her I was talking about her Vagina..if she really wants to know how to better him or please him maybe she should ask HIM.. not us.. sorry but none of this makes sense to me. And she asked if it was alright and I answered..and peechykeen I don't bark nor do I bite but I am honest. And I hope your boyfriend comes and ask us for help so we fully understand what he really needs..I wish him and you the best of luck..

Different couples have different dynamics... and some dudes don't like to ask for help or directions (I know, I know, it's SUPER hard to believe that! )