"From PE to MMO"- Minuteman's Orgasmic log

[sameel Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sameel]

Any sport or exercise in which you have to use diaphragm to tighten/push your pelvic floor muscles helps in premature ejaculation. It actually strengthens the reverse kegal muscles naturally and with more force.

The simplest form is when you try lifting something heavy from ground, you actually tighten your diaphragm and push it on the pelvic floor etc., the intensity depends directly on the force which you apply to lift the object.

Squats is another simple exercise and you can do it several times a day. Simply start with a sit ... stand ... sit ... stand kind of exercise. You don't need to focus on muscle stretching etc., it automatically uses and builds the right muscles.
It takes just 2 minutes to do a set 30 squats or so and you can do it several times a day and you don't need any special arrangements or equipment. It is kind of folk exercise.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

In this post I will look deeper into edging and high arousal and some ideas on how to achieve high arousal while edging and why is that important, as well as some observations.

Being highly aroused means that you are fully aroused and not just aroused in the area of your pelvic floor, the feeling is very distinct and most people when they encounter high arousal state they can immediately notice the difference. In the rest of this post I will use high arousal and full (body) arousal interchangaebly

While edging when not highly aroused I can't help but feel that there is something missing like some important element is out of play, for long time I thought it might be because I am not having sex and although that is true that is not the whole picture. If you for example feel very pleasurable in the pelvic floor area but when you touch other parts of your body (neck, nipples, shoulders and other tender areas) you feel nothing then you are not in high arousal (or full arousal), you can also feel (if you start paying attention to it) like the arousal and pleasure in your pelvic floor is disconnected from the rest of your body.

The problem is that most premature ejaculators see this as their normal state and are unable (including me) to notice that it is not so, labelling those full arousal sessions as something that just happened and is not normal and moving on. The thing is that the full arousal is the normal situation while the disconnected on is something that should be odd. Somewhere along the way our ability to become fully aroused has been greatly diminished mostly because of the desire of instant gratification (rushing to orgasm etc).

This is why most veterans recommend edging for at least 20-25 minutes because as many (including me) explain it that is enough time for body to get "in the zone" etc, while it is actually the time needed to get fully aroused. This is a very important point and I invite you to keep this in mind next time you edge and observe how it feels.

So what happens when you are fully aroused? Firstly, your entire body heats up and not just your pelvic floor area, try to notice the difference in temperature of your arms and upper torso when you are 10 minutes in the edging session and when you are 25 minutes in it. Temperature is actually very important because it enables arousal to freely move and not to be contained, by evening out the arousal the spikes impact less and IKs simply do not have that effect sine the body is not as tensioned, that is why in some sessions you can seemingly last as long as you want, you are simply highly aroused and at least somewhat used to it.

This doesn't mean that by just being fully aroused all your problems are diminished, but it makes everything affect you less in negative way. This point must be repeated, everything. The IKs affect less, the tension simply doesn't matter, the closeness to PONR can be much better controlled.

However, one must also be used to that state at lest to some degree, since it is (as sex and edging is) very intensive and can overwhelm easily, but just spending time in high arousal state can help diminish those effects greatly.

The point I am trying to make is that attainment of high/full arousal should come before everything else in your progress. When you edge your first goal should be lasting at least 20-25 minutes while erected and then everything else.

One of the reasons (in retrospect) I was able to progress very fast as I started focusing on pleasure, I was unconsciously gravitating towards full arousal and used pleasure and sensations as a guide. For example try to spread your arousal during the fist 10 minutes of your edging session, and try to do it around 20-25 minutes, it turns from very hard to practically effortless.

This also one of the reasons people that don't have premature ejaculation or even DE and people without those problems seem not to understand each other in normal non informed communications. Most of the time being fully aroused is a normal thing that one can attain very fast. While we need 20-25 minutes, most need 5-10, try to remember just how fast you where highly aroused when you where younger.

All of this doesn't mean that high arousal is an answer to everything connected to the premature ejaculation problem but, for me, it clears up a lot of things.

This also paints foreplay in another light as well. Because to attain high arousal you do not need to be fully erected the whole time, just by being 50% erected will slowly raise your arousal levels (fore example when you are focusing on your partner etc).

The problem also become more evident here, because as one includes this in the mindset it becomes evident that our gaining of high arousal is somewhat broken, and that that needs to be addressed. Fortunately the solution is not that complex. Just by spending more and more sessions in high arousal over time it will repair itself.

Another connection that points to this is why it is so detrimental to start masturbating right away during porn, or skipping to full penetration scenes rather than having the build up. It basically skips the entire very necessary phase.

This also raises the question of "quickies" and how they function. The answer is that normally the time needed for full arousal is not that high normally and most of the time in the expectation of a "quickie" one is also getting aroused.

A parallel can be made between a tensioned vs strong pelvic floor observation. In other words just because you feel horny and are 100% erected does not mean that you are fully aroused, just in the same way that having a tense pelvic floor (which seems like a strong pelvic floor) doesn't mean that you actually have a strong pelvic floor. Only when one starts with a pelvic floor routine can one really see just how weak but tensed the pelvic floor really is. Same with full arousal, as you become more and more experienced in it one then can you actually notice just how little (and more localized) you where aroused before.

The way I noticed this is trough observation and a very specific example. When I have some work or read something while sitting down in front of a computer I would sometimes idly tug or caress my penis or (since I am uncircumcised) play with my glans trough my foreskin, making my penis somewhat engorged but not fully erected. As the time passes with what I am doing I become more and more aroused and if I have the time I start edging, almost always those sessions turn into very good sessions.

On the other hand if I plan to edge and start edging right away, usually I have to struggle so much more. But if I was aroused before that and somewhat "let it simmer" I would end up with a great session.

Another one is when I sometimes awake early and just lay down in bed, sometimes my thought will wonder and create erotic scenarios while I am half asleep, my penis would be either fully erected or partially but I most of the time do not touch it at all, if I decide to edge after some time in that state it is always (and I really mean 100% ) a great session.

Other can happens when I sometimes read erotica but do not edge.

One thing that is same with all of those situations is that:

1. I am somewhat erected during and some time has passed in that state
2. Most of the time I will have at least some precum no matter how little

You can see where the problem will arise right away. Most of the time we are impatient and will not allow some time to pass, because we want it right now. This is, for us premature ejaculators, a very bad mindset, because it also ties with a desire for instant gratification instead of prolonged pleasure.

In retrospect this all seems so very simply that I am amazed to how I did not notice this before, and now by watching it trough this prism many things make more sense, and I finally understand why in the beginning I would have some sessions that where fantastic with no actual reason at all.

So I invite you to at least think in this direction from time to time. This all seems obvious and not that much important, but I urge you to look deeper into it and try to recognize the patters, you will be amazed.

Read this post and follow the links within for more insight on arousal etc.

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Up to this point all this text was to achieve some common ground and develop proper mindset, the rest of this post will focus on practical advices and aspects.

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So with all this in mind how would a good edging session be?

First of all make sure that you have at least a hour free, the idea is to create a situation where time does not matter, the reason for this is because of all those negative habits and triggers connected to rushing, so do it on a week day when you have a time for yourself, once you get into it you will be able to be much more flexible but for now learn to walk instead of running.

At the start of your session the first 15-20 minutes should be spend getting aroused. Chose which ever method you want (erotica, porn, slight edging, meditation, fantasizing), do whatever you can to achieve an erection it doesn't not need to be 100%, 50-60 is enough (in other words just having a "fat" penis can do).

If you are using porn avoid hard core scenes right away, also feel free to use examples that I gave before (laying in bed etc).

After 15-20 minutes passed and if you did not take of your clothes take them off and slowly feel your body, try to take note how it feels to touch your arm leg etc. After that slowly start to edge.

Your goal for the next 15-20 minutes is to stay erected as much as you can without going over PONR. This is your only objective, so do whatever you can to do that (but start slowly!), for some it will mean edging a few strokes every 2-3 seconds. Try to relax and let arousal wash over you, try to focus on different parts of the body etc. If you find that your arousal is dropping you can use porn since it is important for you to maintain this state.

After this 20 minutes, and till ejaculation it is up to you how you will spend it. however at least 20 minutes in this state will be a good idea. Also finishing it with an actual ejaculation will be a good idea. Why? Because it will create a habit of ejaculating only after some time has been spent in high arousal state, rather than how it is now where a low but spiked arousal causes one to ejaculate. And people with premature ejaculation can understand just how powerful both bad and good habits are.

During the middle 20 minutes most will start experiencing high arousal, the goal is simply to spend time during it. Some will actually be able to find the plateau here and last as long as they want.

The last 20 minutes will be much more intensive, this is most of the time the place where I will experience soft wave orgasms, but not ejaculating before it is one of the biggest challenges and what happens in the last 20 minutes will vary from person to person.

From performance aspect the middle 20 minutes are the most important, the first 20 minutes for most won't even include edging. So the difference between this edging technique and the more popular "at least 20-25 minutes" edging technique is the addition of 20 minutes before and after those "20-25 minutes".

Give it a try and see how much is it different.

As you get better you won't need the full first 20 minutes, and will need less of the second 20 minutes, boiling it again down to the good old "at least 20-25 minutes". But do not try to skip anything on the first several edging sessions using this style.

From my point of view, every other edging technique or even pelvic floor routine (excluding squats/compound exercises, stretches and meditative reverse kegels) should be done as next layer to this edging technique.

Feel free to post your observations here after you do a edging session described here, or simply post it in your log and send me a PM or post the link here. I will experiment and expand upon this more since I am rarely this certain that I am on the right track, but time will tell.

[Manonamission1791 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Manonamission1791]

Bravo! I am reaching similar conclusions. When I try to edge with no prior stimulation I find it hard to really feel aroused. I find myself edging but with barely any pleasure BUT after some time I trully start feeling high arousal and have also entered plateau. I agree that the most efficient way is to take it slow and once you reach a highly aroused state the real work begins. For me this means that edging session will be at least 45 minutes so I get to spend some time ''in the zone''.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Hmm 302 is a great post MM.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

This post will be mostly about fatigue, weakness and premature ejaculation, as well as relation between arousal and cardio.

Even after all this effort I will still have session or even a chain of sessions that are so bad that I can't but wonder if I made any progress at all. That thought last only a little while but it always occurs.

It always surprises me how sometimes the most obvious reasons for having a session where you premature ejaculated don't even come into consideration.

For example, in one of the previous sessions I decided to masturbate with the use of porn, my PIs where bad, my erection not really that good and my arousal was as low as it can be. Then I ejaculated in about a minute, and sat there wondering why have I ejaculated so fast.

This is the part where the ego obscures the problems I had, where the part of you won't even accept the fact that in fact that was not a good time to masturbate. Only when you really sit down and be honest to yourself that you start to notice the really obvious things, in this case one of that was the fatigue.

I was tired, for whatever reasons my body was not in the optimal, and of course that would affect the session. And while it seems so plainly obvious it is a challenge to try and catch yourself in the same situation.

Knowing when to edge/masturbate or even better how to overcome that fatigue is as important as any technique.

During all this I also figured out why I prematurely ejaculate when my body is not at its optimal. It is because your body cannot handle the tension the edging provided, it is safer for it just to ejaculate and shut down, especially since I conditioned myself to have any session last at least 20 minutes.

Sometimes with careful pacing and in general by being very gradual this can be overcame, which was how my yesterday's session was, and even then I could not achieve the level of performance and arousal I usually do.

A very good PI, as I have noticed during previous sessions, is actually the arousal. As you become more experienced you will start noticing different forms of arousal and even false arousals (the one coming more from need of the ego then the need of the body). If you don't feel much arousal it is almost sure that your body is not in its optimal state and that you should skip the edging session.

It is because high arousal is taxing for the body, you are basically in elevated hearth rate mode for an extended amounts of time, and while it is not compearable to running, it is somewhat very close to jogging or better yet fast pace walking.

This is, again, where overall body conditioning helps so much when improving edging stamina. The strength training provides stability and erection quality, cardio on the other hand provides condition and the ability to lower your hearth rate during stressful activities.

When the person is out of form while running the hearth rate will spike up (in the same way the arousal spikes up actually) and be erratic, which will make that person simply stop running etc.

I began noticing this because I started adding more running in my general workout (but still not to much because while there is a need for cardio there is no need to be excessive) my hearth rate while running is higher that usual (which is normal) but steady and not erratic.

The parallel between cardio and arousal is pretty interesting, as noted previously in both cases any spikes are problematic and in both cases what one is aiming at is a sort of plateau, or at the least better way of controlling blunting the spikes.

Since both pretty much use the same system, it goes to show that improving cardio will improve your ability to manage your arousal better.

I also would experiment with this by doing light cardio between edging to find that I can simply be affected much less but arousal spikes. However excessive cardio will tire one out and that will again trough fatigue negatively affect arousal, which is what happened to me trough last several sessions.

However, cardio alone will not be as helpful without strength training and stretching. So one of the things one must be mindful about is how to balance it all. The general tendency is to definitely do cardio but in a way that will not interfere with strength workout and edging.

Strength workout itself will improve cardio conditioning somewhat, so one should take that into account as well. Stretching as well is very important since it helps decrease the tension in the pelvic floor.

The other aspect are the holding exercises like plank which condition your body to tension over time, which should not be overlooked, and while I have yet to determine their specific effect I believe they affect overall performance.

The more experience I get with all this the more I begin to respect the impact of the overall body fitness to premature ejaculation, and the holistic approach to fixing premature ejaculation as well (increased fitness, increased social activity, better lifestyle etc).

This is why I am somewhat grateful I have premature ejaculation, if it where not for premature ejaculation I would not be motivated to become so conscious about my whole body health and my body in general. I am slowly beginning to understand just how little I know my own body and how much before we where like strangers to each other, while now we are more and more the one that we (body and mind) should be.

This for me does not exclude psychological causes, but I firmly believe that even those can be fixed trough physical means.

I apologize to the lack of structure in some of these posts, I sometimes use writing to figure out things, like the relation between cardio and arousal in the means of spikes just came to me while I was writing about the fatigue, which just points to what a good idea is to have a log where you can detail your progress and your thoughts.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Edging will always be a challenge, from the point where you struggle to last more than one minute to the point where you try to achieve some other goal so here are some milestones and the way I thing edging should progress (and how it is progressing with me), this is not set in stone though since some will be able to achieve certain aspects much faster while struggle with other but this should be the general direction in my opinion. The later milestones might not even occur in the same order, or may even occur at the same time.

Milestone 01: 5 minutes
This was a milestone for me when my premature ejaculation was so bad I would ejaculate in less than 5 minutes of masturbation. For many this may seem ridiculous but for me it was a problem that at the time seemed impossible to overcome. Since the arousal spike was so strong and my desire to pleasure myself strong as well, I was not able to notice some things that now I take for granted.

Milestone 02: 20 minutes
The first 5 minutes then very quickly turned into 10 but to get to 20 minutes seem like an infinity. Although I didn't actually aim for 20 minutes, once I passed the 5 or 10 minute mark I would not care how long I last but over time I would simple edge for 20 minutes without noticing because the sensations where so new to me that the time also passed faster.

The road to 20 minutes is where the first real progress is made, I am not looking down on the first milestone but it mostly acts as an eye opener that one can actually last longer given specific circumstances. In the beginning those circumstances would be rather limited but over time there will be less and less of them. In that light if the 5 minute milestone was an eye opener the 20 minute milestone as confirmation.

During this milestone progression one gets more and more acquainted with how the body behaves during a longer time of arousal and erection, the IKs become more noticeable. Also this is where the first good observations are made (for example during this period I noticed that my arousal is focused mostly on my pelvic floor and noticed that I can in fact move it).

Milestone 03: Improving Quality of eding duration Pelvic floor exercises and DOs, MMOs etc

Before this milestone the goal was just 20 minutes, it did not matter how, some sessions where bad some where good but as long as there was a 20 minutes of being erected and somewhat stimulated it was counted as success, here the focus becomes challenging oneself by changing the way one edges, from "simple" things like edging in a more difficult pose, to trusting instead of using just the hand to using a STU etc.

This milestone is a sort of a diverging path where one notices which technique suits them better in order to improve the quality of the edging session. My was a DO and MMO combined with a strong pelvic floor routine, and while it did helped immensely it was also getting around the problem rather than focusing on the problem itself, so while I was satisfied with results I decided to stop doing it in order to focus on the problem itself because in my mind DO and MMO should be a technique and not a crutch, and I was using it as a crutch.

At this time I had the good luck of experiencing different forms of orgasms and understanding that the process of ejaculation and process of orgasm are parallel but different. The soft wave orgasms especially reinforced my desire to never sacrifice pleasure for progress.

At this point I was also mostly against ejaculation so I used techniques like 3day routine more than it should be used. And while 3day routine for me definitely has its place when it comes to arousal conditioning and understanding arousal as with every technique it should not be overused. The moment one starts relying on a limited number of techniques or solutions is the moment those techniques become a crutch limiting one's progress from that point.

Arousal becomes more prominent at this point since this milestone is about improving quality of edging and more arousal makes for a much tougher 20 minutes than with little of it.

The pelvic floor routine here becomes important as well. Many members at this point op to a rk only routine which for most members seems to work out just fine, for others a more balanced routine might help. Some, me included, even opt to go to a full kegel only routine for a while. This milestone is about experimentation and generally may last very long.

This milestone is mostly about learning techniques and more observations.

Milestone 04: Overcoming arousal missing link, saturation, boredom, libido drop

At the beginning since everything is new the arousal and the drive for more are relatively easy to come by. After some point however arousal drop happens. Mostly because one gets to much used to the sensations.

The arousal link part I put here because I noticed that some members have trouble in bringing the arousal up from the pelvic floor all over the body, it is as if some peace is missing to enable this. While I have not experienced this in that manner currently thanks to the arousal saturation of sorts I am experiencing somewhat similar problem.

This milestone (or more suitably a wall) can happen at any point. For me for example I happened more than once in different forms, mostly in the form of the libido drop, where I would wait for a month in order to get the desire to edge back since I decided that I will not force myself to edge when I don't feel I can or I want, since that is not pleasurable.

The latest problem I have with this is the arousal saturation of sorts where I simply cannot get the arousal high enough since the body is getting used to the current sources of arousal, and since I am socially inactive for different reasons it presents a growing problem for me. Usually a solid wokout would help here but since the body addapts quickly that becomes less and less effective.

Overcoming this problem is a great milestone in any edging session, since it is a gateway for a body to get used to as high arousal as it can solo and be able to transfer at least some progress to sex.

I have to make clear here that I firmly believe that in order to get better at sex more sex is needed, edging can only help so much, but it can help.

Milestone 05: The 45/60 minutes of high arousal edging (and/or effect on sex)

I mostly joined this because for me it was the first 60 minutes which felt like a new milestone, for some it might be 45 minutes. This is the milestone where the total of your observations and techniques is put trough a solid test. The arousal start to play even more crucial role here since 60 minutes of high arousal and 60 minutes of just edging are probably the same as 60 minute of sex is comparable to 60 minutes of edging.

Some will find that 60 minutes or even 45 minutes are way to much and I don't disagree. This milestone is about putting to the test your edging technique and training be it trough edging and/or trough sex.

Milestone 06: The Bigger Picture (holistic approach)

This milestone can happen during the 45/60 milestone and even and the improving quality of edging milestone, for me it came later.

This is where the big changes finally start to happen in the way one sees the premature ejaculation problem in general. At this point the previous experience teaches that it is not just one technique and routine that helps but all of them in some way.

At this point , more importantly, the dots start connecting and one begins to see how different parts affect each other, how for example the running affects how one experiences high arousal, or how a workout affects sexual stamina, how stronger leg muscles, glutes and abs help in improving endurance in different poses. Even though all this was evident before, sometimes time is needed for all that to really sink in.

Then one begins to observe premature ejaculation from a different perspective and understands that while bad habits did indeed caused this, in order to really fix the problem one needs a complete lifestyle change, because it was that previous lifestyle that affected the premature ejaculation to become even worse.

For those that where physically active this comes as no surprise but for those, like me, that where not that much active and didn't put much effort in actually getting stronger, fitter, faster etc this becomes painfully obvious.

Milestone 07: Forgetting everything about eging

To make this milestone more clear lets observe some real life examples.

For example when one starts to learn how to drive a car, in the beginning one constantly makes a conscious effort to be aware of pretty much everything, this is a necessary learning process. At some point one must start relying on the unconscious and the fast that the body remembers the necessary movements in order to change the gear etc in order to be able to look and participate in traffic.

After some one forgets pretty much everything about driving a car but both the body and the unconscious mind remembers. it is the same in martial art exercising for example, where one does a specific maneuver so many times it becomes a reflex response.

It is the same with edging itself, many of the techniques, controls and conditioning become unconscious and one is able to simply enjoy the ride with minimal interference. Tweeks are still done here and there are probably many
things that can be improved but in essence everything works as it should.

Milestone 08: Revisiting, going back to the drawing board

Sometimes a look back is necessary, and while all this usually happens at the improving quality of edging milestone, this one is different since most of the time the ability to notice some things that one have been missing or simply understanding it better helps allot.

Sometimes this is because the technique or mindset didn't prove to be as good long term as it seemed, sometimes is is a part of a greater cycle of improvement overall.

I have more than one of this milestone where, for example I would look back and read some of my old post (that I totally forgot) and read it as if I haven't written it, and basically either disapprove of them or learn from them. For me this happened allot when reading some of the old Pegasus replies which made much more sense much later on. So it is a good idea to revisit both your and other posts because most of the time everything needed to be said has been already said but one was simply unable to comprehend the true meaning.

This is, in some rough lines the way I progressed and am progressing trough eding and the way I think it should be done.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

This post will focus on mindset and the power that our thoughts have premature on ejaculation.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. -- Chinese proverb, author unknown

Most will read this quote as a cautionary proverb, but if you have the mindset of turning your "seemingly" bad circumstances into good opportunities you will view this differently.

Because what this proverb means for me is that if you assume a proper mindset (thought pattern, way of thinking ), then the thoughts that come out of it will indeed shape your words, actions, habits, character and finally destiny but in a good way.


So what is mindset?

Mindset is a framework of thoughts, views and beliefs that determine how you think about, view and approach the experiences that happen (how you view the world). The good (and the bad) thing about mindset is that it can be shape by our experiences, desires and beliefs.

The simplest way to explain mindset is the "glass half-full/ half-empty" or the optimistic and pessimistic attitude. However mindset is a much larger concept in my mind.


So how did the mindset helped me regarding premature ejaculation?

The importance of mindset in the beginning of my journey as I was attempting to dry orgasm, thanks to my sensitivity I was able to come to PONR very fast and attempt a dry orgasm more frequently. It was odd to me that something that is regarded bad (sensitivity) is actually helping me fine tune my dry orgasm timing, and although I stopped performing DOs that shift in perspective created a foundation for my new mindset.

Another important layer of my mindset foundation was added when I stated experiencing soft wave orgasms that I was able to experience thanks to the fact that I was so sensitive. So now what I considered bad had allowed me to experience profound pleasure and joy.

At that point, concerning premature ejaculation, a two important mindset cornerstones where set in my mind.

1. View and turn your weaknesses into your strengths.
2. Follow the pleasure and sensation, do not perform mechanically, or do it just to get it done. Be involved in the process.


Upon those two everything else was built. And the local effects only tied to my premature ejaculation problem slowly became global effects, because the mindset started to evolve.

As my confidence rose I wanted to turn my other weaknesses to my strength, and then I noticed that when I confront something that is my weakness and the veil is lifted it will become my strength, and I noticed that usually that veil is fear. So yet another cornerstone was added (or a present one evolved):

- Confront and do something about whatever makes you feel uneasy even a little bit, do not run away from it.

All of this is of course much easier said than done (it is easy to give advice, but to follow it is much harder), it takes allot for some to come to this level of determination (especially me), but it can start as something very local in your life, working on fixing a small part of your life will have its effects on the other areas of your life just as working on premature ejaculation will make you a better person.


So how can it help me?

Attaining a proper mindset is highly individual and for it to take hold it either must be experienced or to come at a very profound moment of clarity for an individual (that is how it is mostly for me, this is how this post happened), or if a person believes and respects the sources enough to take those words to heart or is some very specific way.

So here are some of my cornerstones regarding premature ejaculation:

- Honestly and fully accept your current state, then forget about it and do something about it. (Example: I have premature ejaculation. Now let me do something to increase my lasting time.)

- Every session is a chance to learn more about yourself, be it good or bad.

- Achieving similar edging time is success, a second more than that is a progress.

- A shorter highly pleasurable, high arousal, high intensity session is better than a much longer dull one. Sex is not dull, nor it should be, therefore edging should not be dull.

- Don't think how short you last, thing how long you last. A 2 minute session for a minuteman is twice as better.

- Do not compare yourself to somebody else, you are not somebody else, you are you.

- There will be bad, utterly horrifyingly terrible bad sessions. Do not expect them, but do not be disappointed and demoralized when they happen, and they will. Accept it and laugh it off. It happens.

- Weaknesses are just a matter of perception, embrace them, turn them into strengths and build upon them.

- Follow the pleasure, follow the good feelings.

- Treat your whole body as a pelvic floor. It needs relaxing, strengthening and balancing too.

- After a bad seesion, note the things you will want to improve next time into a short small concise list and then move on with your day.


There are probably more interwoven into my mindset that I probably can't even vocalize or recognise but that are build upon the first several cornerstones. It is important to remember that mindset should evolve over time but that it should always be a mindset that creates rather than destroys, it should be a mindset that sees opportunity in most places, a mindset that can be strict but supporting and understanding.

As you can see mindset cornerstones can sometimes be indistinguishable from advice, rule, suggestion, principle or a guide line when put into words, but inside it is a much richer multi-dimensional thing that spans trough feelings, thoughts, aspirations and many other. This is why just reading this may not be enough, experiencing at least some of those or having a profound moment will help you better understand those.

Conclusion

Having a proper mindset is something that will help you persist and progress faster on your journey to overcome premature ejaculation problems and many others, and the benefits will carry over to the other aspects of your life. It will make you a better person if you "approach it right".

[hoochiNn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hoochiNn]

I have stated sometimes on my log how I have realized that is not just about premature ejaculation, is a about "bad practices" or "bad behaviours" that with all this time of process and a better self-learning, I have realize that there are some attitudes that I must change and some process of becoming a better/stronger person that must be done while also doing actions to cure premature ejaculation.

[rayquest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rayquest]

awesome forum and information

[hoochiNn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hoochiNn]

I apologize to the lack of structure in some of these posts, I sometimes use writing to figure out things, like the relation between cardio and arousal in the means of spikes just came to me while I was writing about the fatigue, which just points to what a good idea is to have a log where you can detail your progress and your thoughts.

I really hope that you never stop this posts. You made me get positive after having a medium-bad session, making me realize that I just was too aroused before even starting, one week without ejaculating and the 3/3rd day has been the reason. Just yesterday could mantain a really nice control and today I felt some steps back, but now I feel better.



At this point I was also mostly against ejaculation so I used techniques like 3day routine more than it should be used. And while 3day routine for me definitely has its place when it comes to arousal conditioning and understanding arousal as with every technique it should not be overused. The moment one starts relying on a limited number of techniques or solutions is the moment those techniques become a crutch limiting one's progress from that point.

Can you explain more this part?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

I really hope that you never stop this posts. You made me get positive after having a medium-bad session, making me realize that I just was too aroused before even starting, one week without ejaculating and the 3/3rd day has been the reason. Just yesterday could mantain a really nice control and today I felt some steps back, but now I feel better.



At this point I was also mostly against ejaculation so I used techniques like 3day routine more than it should be used. And while 3day routine for me definitely has its place when it comes to arousal conditioning and understanding arousal as with every technique it should not be overused. The moment one starts relying on a limited number of techniques or solutions is the moment those techniques become a crutch limiting one's progress from that point.

Can you explain more this part?

At that point in my journey I saw ejaculation as something that should be avoided since I thought that if I can avoid ejaculation I will not prematurely ejaculate and since I had progress I thought I was on the right track. In other words I thought that by decoupling ejaculation from masturbation/edging I would be able to last longer, that was, in hindsight, just partially correct, the other part is that eventually one must get used to ejaculation, but if one makes ejaculation to be a reward for a longer lasting intense session rather than just ejaculation as a result of accident that would provide a positive feedback, which it actually does, when done properly. A strong full body orgasm when ejaculating is very satisfying and, for me, it makes me crave the actual orgasm less and when I edge next time I feel much less pressure to ejaculate.

Back to the paragraph in question. At that point in my journey the 3day routine actually helped me to last longer, but the problem was that overtime it became something I rely too much upon. Same goes for the DOs as well, it helped me progress but at some point it became something that was holding me back to further explore myself.

Techniques should be viewed as tools in a toolbox and not as much more than that, because the body is adaptable and if the underlying problems are not changed it will revert back even with the use of techniques. And one should not be a slave to a specific method, sex is free-form and unpredictable (at least that I what I believe) so one can't really prepare for every situation out there. After a while I is a good idea to take a good look at one's life and see if some greater habits (like lack of physical activity) are the ones that make the premature ejaculation even worse.

As time goes I am more certain that (bar the actual hormonal imbalance) premature ejaculation is a symptom of something else, that that something else if usually either lifestyle (habits etc) and/or something psychological/social. Which doesn't mean that physical cures such as edging and pelvic floor routine do not play a crucial role in fixing this, but they are just a part of something that should be a lifestyle change.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

At that point in my journey I saw ejaculation as something that should be avoided since I thought that if I can avoid ejaculation I will not prematurely ejaculate and since I had progress I thought I was on the right track. In other words I thought that by decoupling ejaculation from masturbation/edging I would be able to last longer, that was, in hindsight, just partially correct, the other part is that eventually one must get used to ejaculation, but if one makes ejaculation to be a reward for a longer lasting intense session rather than just ejaculation as a result of accident that would provide a positive feedback, which it actually does, when done properly. A strong full body orgasm when ejaculating is very satisfying and, for me, it makes me crave the actual orgasm less and when I edge next time I feel much less pressure to ejaculate.

Back to the paragraph in question. At that point in my journey the 3day routine actually helped me to last longer, but the problem was that overtime it became something I rely too much upon. Same goes for the DOs as well, it helped me progress but at some point it became something that was holding me back to further explore myself.

Techniques should be viewed as tools in a toolbox and not as much more than that, because the body is adaptable and if the underlying problems are not changed it will revert back even with the use of techniques. And one should not be a slave to a specific method, sex is free-form and unpredictable (at least that I what I believe) so one can't really prepare for every situation out there. After a while I is a good idea to take a good look at one's life and see if some greater habits (like lack of physical activity) are the ones that make the premature ejaculation even worse.

As time goes I am more certain that (bar the actual hormonal imbalance) premature ejaculation is a symptom of something else, that that something else if usually either lifestyle (habits etc) and/or something psychological/social. Which doesn't mean that physical cures such as edging and pelvic floor routine do not play a crucial role in fixing this, but they are just a part of something that should be a lifestyle change.

Yes and in my case at least DE had similar shape.

[hoochiNn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hoochiNn]

At that point in my journey I saw ejaculation as something that should be avoided since I thought that if I can avoid ejaculation I will not prematurely ejaculate and since I had progress I thought I was on the right track. In other words I thought that by decoupling ejaculation from masturbation/edging I would be able to last longer, that was, in hindsight, just partially correct, the other part is that eventually one must get used to ejaculation, but if one makes ejaculation to be a reward for a longer lasting intense session rather than just ejaculation as a result of accident that would provide a positive feedback, which it actually does, when done properly. A strong full body orgasm when ejaculating is very satisfying and, for me, it makes me crave the actual orgasm less and when I edge next time I feel much less pressure to ejaculate.

Back to the paragraph in question. At that point in my journey the 3day routine actually helped me to last longer, but the problem was that overtime it became something I rely too much upon. Same goes for the DOs as well, it helped me progress but at some point it became something that was holding me back to further explore myself.

Techniques should be viewed as tools in a toolbox and not as much more than that, because the body is adaptable and if the underlying problems are not changed it will revert back even with the use of techniques. And one should not be a slave to a specific method, sex is free-form and unpredictable (at least that I what I believe) so one can't really prepare for every situation out there. After a while I is a good idea to take a good look at one's life and see if some greater habits (like lack of physical activity) are the ones that make the premature ejaculation even worse.

As time goes I am more certain that (bar the actual hormonal imbalance) premature ejaculation is a symptom of something else, that that something else if usually either lifestyle (habits etc) and/or something psychological/social. Which doesn't mean that physical cures such as edging and pelvic floor routine do not play a crucial role in fixing this, but they are just a part of something that should be a lifestyle change.

I think that I'm certantly on that point, I mean, I'm trying to do the 3 day routine, rest the 4th day and start again. I take it like if it was as a physical training: I try to hold back PONR as much as posible, try to not let me go into sensations because if I do that, PONR comes quickly; I face it like if I was doing some cardio, focusing on lowering tension and IK and just trying to keep thrusting as long as possible.

I have a thought in my mind this last days, I was going to start a new thread but I think that I'm going to put it here. It's related to "passion" and premature ejaculation.

I consider myself as a passionate person in friends, woman, sex or party. To deal with premature ejaculation, I have forced myself to be more serene, to look for more self-control of arousal, anxiety, actitudes...
The problem here is that when engagin on sex, for me, passion nearly means in a 95% to hit PONR fast and to keep hitting it constantly. I don't know if that passion is related to the porn/bad habits thing, to rush things and rush for that dopamine dose that ejaculation gives. Maybe is that I have a wrong concept of passion? I don't know. It can be, because if I analyse me in that situation, I turn in a state of "tunnel vision", tension, holding breath... Still today, I see me fighting with these kinds of actitudes even in other aspects of my life...

The question is... Passion = Premature ejaculation?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

There is more than one kind of passion , athletes often talk of staying relaxed during a game . I too had to find the right headspace.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

I think that I'm certantly on that point, I mean, I'm trying to do the 3 day routine, rest the 4th day and start again. I take it like if it was as a physical training: I try to hold back PONR as much as posible, try to not let me go into sensations because if I do that, PONR comes quickly; I face it like if I was doing some cardio, focusing on lowering tension and IK and just trying to keep thrusting as long as possible.

I have a thought in my mind this last days, I was going to start a new thread but I think that I'm going to put it here. It's related to "passion" and premature ejaculation.

I consider myself as a passionate person in friends, woman, sex or party. To deal with premature ejaculation, I have forced myself to be more serene, to look for more self-control of arousal, anxiety, actitudes...
The problem here is that when engagin on sex, for me, passion nearly means in a 95% to hit PONR fast and to keep hitting it constantly. I don't know if that passion is related to the porn/bad habits thing, to rush things and rush for that dopamine dose that ejaculation gives. Maybe is that I have a wrong concept of passion? I don't know. It can be, because if I analyse me in that situation, I turn in a state of "tunnel vision", tension, holding breath... Still today, I see me fighting with these kinds of actitudes even in other aspects of my life...

The question is... Passion = Premature ejaculation?

In my opinion, it is more of a "not properly manifested passion/arousal = premature ejaculation". As Pegasus mentions staying passionate but relaxed is a way to go. After experiencing whole body arousal rather than just the localized arousal in the pelvic floor area over and over the body gets used to the feeling and you can actually relax and be highly aroused.

One of the way you can practice that for example is to edge till you reach PONR and then slowly stop and just perform a relaxing sigh. As you become more and more persistent you will start to notice that little things like, breathing trough your mouth from time to time will have a bigger and bigger affect on how arousal/passion affects you. When I am fully aroused and relaxed any IKs that I have affect me much less, because I am overall less tense.

One of the ways you can check just how aroused are you is to simply gently touch yourself on any other part of your body (like a shoulder, or the side of the waist, lips) and see how good it feels. The better it feels the more your arousal has spread throughout your body. That is why sex in may ways is different than porn, simply because there are much more intimate touches that enable your arousal to spread (while with porn because of the need for better view and camera angles this is vastly underplayed). A gentle touch to any of the mentioned parts from another person while highly aroused is even more pleasing, that is why kissing and other intimate non-sexual activities also feel very good.

Down the line, you will start noticing that good edging is much more about you accepting your arousal, feeling calm but excited and feeling happy, while at the same time really not thinking at all, just experiencing it all. But getting out of your head and coming to that level is hard, and is also very fragile. People who are anxious and overly concerned are mostly unable to keep their life out of the edging/sex. And what should be a essentially meditation (experiencing the present) becomes a struggle.

For every highly intense physical activity there is no dwelling and thinking is minimal and very fast, it is mostly experiencing and reacting. That is the state you should be in when having sex. If you play team sports from time to time, notice that during those moments you don't really think much (and if you do than usually you are not playing well), same goes for intense exercise, thinking too much about things when there is a lot of weight on your back while doing squat is a recipe for injury.

In other words in order to better understand how you should behave during edging and sex, see how you are behaving when having other highly demanding physical activities. That is why a lifestyle change (especially since I was not that physically active) was so important milestone for me.