"From PE to MMO"- Minuteman's Orgasmic log

[hoochiNn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hoochiNn]

In my opinion, it is more of a "not properly manifested passion/arousal = premature ejaculation". As Pegasus mentions staying passionate but relaxed is a way to go. After experiencing whole body arousal rather than just the localized arousal in the pelvic floor area over and over the body gets used to the feeling and you can actually relax and be highly aroused.

One of the way you can practice that for example is to edge till you reach PONR and then slowly stop and just perform a relaxing sigh. As you become more and more persistent you will start to notice that little things like, breathing trough your mouth from time to time will have a bigger and bigger affect on how arousal/passion affects you. When I am fully aroused and relaxed any IKs that I have affect me much less, because I am overall less tense.

One of the ways you can check just how aroused are you is to simply gently touch yourself on any other part of your body (like a shoulder, or the side of the waist, lips) and see how good it feels. The better it feels the more your arousal has spread throughout your body. That is why sex in may ways is different than porn, simply because there are much more intimate touches that enable your arousal to spread (while with porn because of the need for better view and camera angles this is vastly underplayed). A gentle touch to any of the mentioned parts from another person while highly aroused is even more pleasing, that is why kissing and other intimate non-sexual activities also feel very good.

Down the line, you will start noticing that good edging is much more about you accepting your arousal, feeling calm but excited and feeling happy, while at the same time really not thinking at all, just experiencing it all. But getting out of your head and coming to that level is hard, and is also very fragile. People who are anxious and overly concerned are mostly unable to keep their life out of the edging/sex. And what should be a essentially meditation (experiencing the present) becomes a struggle.

For every highly intense physical activity there is no dwelling and thinking is minimal and very fast, it is mostly experiencing and reacting. That is the state you should be in when having sex. If you play team sports from time to time, notice that during those moments you don't really think much (and if you do than usually you are not playing well), same goes for intense exercise, thinking too much about things when there is a lot of weight on your back while doing squat is a recipe for injury.

In other words in order to better understand how you should behave during edging and sex, see how you are behaving when having other highly demanding physical activities. That is why a lifestyle change (especially since I was not that physically active) was so important milestone for me.

Okay so, I think that I'm getting to that point (you can read my last log post). But one thing that is concerning me or afraids me is that just enjoying the session and "letting me go" sometimes feels like if I'm looking for that "dopamine rush". I'm facing this last sessions like, lets have fun of whole session and when you reach the minute mark, you will can cum. I'm afraid that allowing me cumming every session would make me rush PONR faster that if I have some sessions when I dont allow me to.

Which are your recomendations?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Okay so, I think that I'm getting to that point (you can read my last log post). But one thing that is concerning me or afraids me is that just enjoying the session and "letting me go" sometimes feels like if I'm looking for that "dopamine rush". I'm facing this last sessions like, lets have fun of whole session and when you reach the minute mark, you will can cum. I'm afraid that allowing me cumming every session would make me rush PONR faster that if I have some sessions when I dont allow me to.

Which are your recomendations?

I kinda agree, there is definitely a strong desire to feel very highly aroused, but the point is that once the arousal is high enough you simply wont be satisfied with ejaculation when it isn't at the end of the high arousal session.

In general mix it up, don't ejaculate every session, but don't follow a too close of a pattern, sometimes ejaculate two times in a row, sometimes once every second time, other times do a 3 day routine, do not fall into some pattern where your body will expect ejaculation every second time, so decide on a pattern for several days, stick with it and then change to some other pattern once you finish with that one. In other words experiment.

Also since you are having doubts about ejaculation it just means that you are not at that level where you can implement this behaviour with good results. For me at one point I simply wanted ejaculation at the end of a long high arousal session, it simply seemed to complete the experience. But ejaculating before I reach that high arousal was something that I didn't care about, and if I would see that the PONR is coming way too fast and that I am still just mildly aroused I would either decide to overcome it if I can (most of the times low to mid arousal and PONR is just a pointless struggle but it can turn into a triumph) or just stop and try again later or the next day.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

In this post I will write about a technique I have been recommending to the beginners. For the most part I didn't write why I recommend it because I wanted eveybody to get their own conclusions, before I get into it. So if you want to get to the conclusions by yourself then just read the challenge and finish reading after the session (or more sessions). You can read the original explanation here.

The technique/challenge: "Maintain erection for 20 minutes."

Intention and observations (read this after you have completed the challenge):


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I have been recommending allot to beginners for the last 2-4 months for variety of reasons:

1. It changes your attention. Usually if members tend to edge to "not ejaculate" they will ejaculate since that is mostly on their mind for the duration of edging. Phrasing it this way changes the focus so that one focuses on erection only and not pay much attention to ejaculation.

2. It lets you decided the best way to approach this challenge/technique. Different people approach this differently. For example one may edge until full erection and then easing up and proceeding only when it is needed to maintain the erection. Others may go straight to PONR and maintain there.

3. It shows what are your tendencies and what should you improve. A person who is rushing to PONR and maintaining there should maybe ease up and learn to make the edging session (and sex ) a more gradual process. A person who is maintaining the erection only is not really experienced in highly aroused situations and needs to explore that more. A balanced person will have a gradual rise and maintain the erection for a while and then gradually more closer to PONR step but step and finally spend some time maintaining erection very near PONR.

That doesn't mean that there is a "correct" way of doing this challenge, it is mostly there to show you what should you be focusing on more, but not totally.

For example, I am a type of person that more often that not will just go to PONR since I enjoy high arousal allot, but if I gradually approach it rather than rush it I will be able to last much longer and spread my arousal much better. For a person that just maintains the erection, that person should spend more time near PONR so that when it comes to sex the high arousal does not over come.

There are probably more profiles that can be revealed with this technique but for the most part these are the extremes I had noticed.

[DudeJoe Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DudeJoe]

Love edging

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

And I dare say MM has knowledge that will help you enjoy it more Dude.

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Too much/too little

In order to properly develop oneself in many ways, one must consider many angles and many perspectives. Being stuck in one mindset or using just one type of lens to observe oneself if not a good idea long term.

Every concept, every thing in your journey must evolve if you are to progress, on that journey some useful tools and mindsets might become obsolete and even harmful, so being ready to let go, and revisit is very important.

The theme of premature ejaculation is usually too much/too little. Be it "too much sensations", "too much sensitivity", "too little stamina" etc. This dis-balance forces us to pursue the other side far too much, and in the end most of the time even so we gain too little of a progress.

Here is an interesting example of "too much pleasure". Lets say that you have kept your sensitivity that you have from premature ejaculation, but are able to have prolonged edging or sex, be it via hard/soft MMO or any other way. While it is a boon for the soul in so many ways, one must be considerate on how much it stresses your body.

Everything in life is balanced or tries to balance itself out somehow, so if you have too much pleasure in one session, your body can somewhat suffer because the glands responsible for secreting those hormones can become fatigued even without notice. These things might manifest in ways totally not noticeable (like raised body inflammation, suppressed immunity etc). Some of us are more susceptible to this, others less.

The point of this is to try and find balance in how much you want to last and how much your body can last. Because edging and more importantly sex is so imperative for survival of the species body might forgo many important limiters just in order to procreate.

On the other hand, edging, masturbation and sex are import for one physical and psychological well being on many levels, so avoiding it is also not very good.

So, as with many things in life, it is all about that sweet spot between too little and too much, and this is something one has to find for oneself, just be aware that there might be some good reasons your body might forcing you too prematurely ejaculate.

One might falsely think that just ejaculation might be the problem, but that is usually not so. While ejaculation causes stress, long term pleasure does it as well, since in order it to feel so good, something must be making it good on the hormonal, physiological level.

One of the good signs of overdoing it is how one is feeling after an session (be it edging, masturbation or sex) or the day after it. If you feel normal or better, then that is good, otherwise you might have taxed your body too much, and while this might not bring much harm now it will slowly over time. Which, of course does not mean one should avoid longer sessions from time to time, in the end smaller less frequent doses of stress are good for the body.

Another good idea is to start looking at the premature ejaculation more holistically, meaning that how one performs might be modified by other outside factors as well, such as sleep duration, stress and diet. Consider maybe experimenting with different diets (paleo, ****genic, vegan etc) and seeing if there are any changes, the results might not only surprise you they might outright heal you.

Too much or too little exercise might be affecting you, or even too much coffee might be messing up your cortisol. Remember that any problem you might have concerning your body does not have just one cause, or mostly likely (what I have observed over the years) the premature ejaculation might just be a symptom of something else. Imagine all your troubles with premature ejaculation going away simply because you opted out of eating gluten for 3 months, or not eating anything sweet for several months, or maybe the computer posture was causing it.

And finally too much focus on fixing the premature ejaculation problem might just be too much, this is especially true for those (me) who over-analyze things way too much.

In the end, this journey, weather you see it or not, will always be about so much more than just your premature ejaculation, and it should be.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Good to see you again MM .
I have often thought on the conditioning aspects of what we do onsite .
A guy with no condition is very limited in the volume /intensity he can handle .
You have brought up an interesting point re mmo I think condition is a factor here also .

[jangga Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jangga]

Excellent journal

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

NOFAP AND FAP

NoFap movement is something I guess all here are familiar with in many ways it is a desire to take control of your life manifested in various form of abstinence, be it porn, masturbation or even orgasming and sex, it is also in many ways a way to restore balance of the chemistry in the body.

And I agree with all of those. The idea of this post is to provide a alternative insight and some of my opinions that I gained trough my own journey.

Lets start with Porn. For many this is an anathema. I see it maybe slightly different, I think it is wonderful, it is a recorded freedom of expression, passion, desire and in many ways a showing of skill and beauty of the participants. I salute the people that are able to make monetary gain by their passion and performance.

But too much of the good thing is bad, and that is the crux for many of those who are motivated by that. But, isn't everything that is too much a bad thing? Who is at the problem here. Imagine if porn was something that you get to watch just once in a while ( a month? a year?). Imagine that instead of it being a constant thing it is just something that you decide to gift to yourself from time to time. Many food pleasures have the same problem.

And while abstinence solves it I think it undermines the potential porn can have on your imagination if anything, especially if you are solo. That being said watching porn every day or multiple times a day, is simply bad beyond any excuse. But it is a distinction that I feel really needs to be noted.

But there is also one more point, and that is that addiction is a terrible thing to have and those that have it in no matter what form will if exposed to it regress, for those of us who are addicted to porn, cutting it permanently is in fact an only option, for otherwise there lies ruin.

Why I feel the need to write of this also is connected to sex shown in many different media ( comics, novels, etc), many of those had really given me a wonderful wholesome experience, a warm feeling that is some cases I remember even to this day. Remember this point I'll come back to it full force.

Lets tackle masturbation now. During NoFap this is ( depending of the mode you chose) forbidden. And to be honest, I fully agree with this. Most of the time this is the sure fire way of really resetting. Where I, from my experiences, find it lacking is the handling of masturbation ( and to some extent edging) after that period.

Simply put, people tend to masturbate wrong, in a same way they tend to watch porn wrong. Wrong is usually a strong word, because it applies authority over something which is not realistic and can be offensive to many, but lets assume that I have some authority over it and play along.

Remember the last time you watched porn? Can you describe it to yourself? Can you describe the energy the focus, the idea, anything about it or was it just a blur. Remember the last sex you had?

I am sure that the answer to the first is rather negative, while the answer to the second is mostly likely much much more vivid, in fact in many cases the memory itself might have caused some arousal.

What about the last time you masturbated, or lets frame it like this, pleasured yourself.

Most people will not remember it.

And this is the crux, this is the main point for me.

Back quickly to the sex in media ( remember that I said I'll be back on this full force). If you have read some novels how much of it can you recall, or that one fantastic comic. It stays with you, it envelops you, fills you with energy.

This is how masturbation and even porn should be treated. As a powerful experience.

But to do this one must respect one's body, one must respect one's desire, one must commit to pleasure.

Let me clarify it trough an example.

I come home, it was a hard but good day. My body is tired but I feel a ping of desire. It starts from my groin area and pulses there ever so slightly, the images of pleasure come to my head and my body responds in kind but with a dose of tiredness. I take a shower and notice that I am simply too tired to fully experience myself I go to sleep. The next day I come home, it was a ok day but I am not really tired, same flow repeats itself, I take a shower and then I lie down, and with my hands I ask my body if it is willing and able and it fully responds. I don't go immediately to the center of my desire but with my hands I caress myself all over. I am patient and allow myself time to make my desire fully manifest trough out my body. I then slowly go and allow each movement to echo trough out my body. After a while of pleasure I grant myself release. After that I feel energized and at peace.

This is how it should be for you as well. Respect yourself. If you end your session and feel something is simply not as it should be then the next session should be delayed longer. Masturbation should not be a quickie, it should something done from time to time that really helps you express yourself.

When you end your NoFap and you think that now is the time to masturbate, stay that thought and ask your body. If you ended your NoFap and decide to masturbate no more, fair, but again ask your body. Don't allow all of you to be but your mind, for that is just a part of who you are if at all.

This is, finally, what I think lacks when it comes to NoFap. Not how it is but what should happen after it.

Good luck, I hope this will help you somewhat in your journey.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Good to see you mm , I am sure there will be many with questions to ask you .

For those who don't know mm he is a veteran here with a wide and deep understanding of similar areas to those I deal with so pre e for example.

[madyogi Moderator Member of the Month April 2020PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close madyogi]

Good to see you mm , I am sure there will be many with questions to ask you .

For those who don't know mm he is a veteran here with a wide and deep understanding of similar areas to those I deal with so pre e for example.

Personally, I love it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, MM! My thinking on all of this is quite similar to yours, so no further clarification is needed.

Cheers!

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Good to see you mm , I am sure there will be many with questions to ask you .

For those who don't know mm he is a veteran here with a wide and deep understanding of similar areas to those I deal with so pre e for example.

Thanks, I pop in from time to time when I have something to write, since this is and always be my go to place for anything of this kind.