(Guys) Ever felt like this?

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Yeah ... here's the thing. I honestly believe she's the last woman who'll love me for me. That and I honestly won't have the time, energy and the strength to look for someone else.

And if she said she loved me, and she really does, why would she need a boyfriend? I thought she and I would amount to something. She said she doesn't want to stay single. What the fuck? Like, her and I ... doesn't that mean ANYTHING?

I don't even like the Hunter guy and he had been away from her for more than 3 years and he comes back and they're fucking DATING NOW? She said I mean everything to her and she's being hard on herself because she's "upset the one who matters the most to her." She doesn't want to be in a relationship with me because she's afraid of getting hurt but she gets a boyfriend.

I don't know what to feel about this other than bang my head on the wall.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

" She doesn't want to be in a relationship with me because she's afraid of getting hurt but she gets a boyfriend.

I don't know what to feel about this other than bang my head on the wall.

Yeah fuck that drop her. Sorry dude sounds like she has no idea what she wants and I can tell you from experience those girls are bad news. If you don't want to be her little puppy dog on a leash then you seriously need to get out of there. Its hard as hell, trust me I know. But if you do one thing right with this relationship it'll be ending it. Stop all contact, go out with your buddies, chat up some women, just get your mind off of her. It'll be one of the hardest things you've ever done but it'll be worth it, I promise you.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I really hoped it wouldn't hurt me, but it does and I have dealt with worse shit than this before, so I know how to get over it ... but it'd take a huge chunk off me.

I'm sorry about the drama.

I've had it with women and relationshits.

[Flanker6 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Flanker6]

I really hoped it wouldn't hurt me, but it does and I have dealt with worse shit than this before, so I know how to get over it ... but it'd take a huge chunk off me.

I'm sorry about the drama.

I've had it with women and relationshits.

Just head up and keep moving forward man. We're all here if you need to talk to somebody

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Meh. I'm just gonna blast some metal songs. It's amazing what the human mind can learn to cope with.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

I think if you can't handle the idea of her with another guy then you need to remove yourself from the equation.. End things with her... The two of you are obviously not on the same page with your relationship
How old is she.. she sounds very immature.

You deserve so much more then what she is giving you at this point in time... i don't doubt that she loves you, but i question how serious she is about your relationship.. Long distance relationships are hard.. its not uncommon for one of the partners to end up in a relationship with someone closer to them.. it can be a gap fill until they are able to be with you or it can be a sign that they're just not that into you.. and if i am honest when i was reading the conversation .. i was thinking she is playing you.. that is what my gut was saying.

She is not and won't be the last person to love you or that you will love that is being a defeatist... a desperate attempt to justify why you can't let her go.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I think if you can't handle the idea of her with another guy then you need to remove yourself from the equation.. End things with her... The two of you are obviously not on the same page with your relationship
How old is she.. she sounds very immature.

I need to talk to her tomorrow. And she's 18.

You deserve so much more then what she is giving you at this point in time... i don't doubt that she loves you, but i question how serious she is about your relationship..

The thing is, she has loved me for years and I know how much she's struggled to be with me. and I still don't doubt her feelings, although obviously there are a lot of things to be justified.

Long distance relationships are hard.. its not uncommon for one of the partners to end up in a relationship with someone closer to them.. it can be a gap fill until they are able to be with you or it can be a sign that they're just not that into you.. and if i am honest when i was reading the conversation .. i was thinking she is playing you.. that is what my gut was saying.

For the first time ever I hope you're wrong but then again, such is life. I'm going to take what's going to come my way because honestly, that's how I've learnt to deal with these situations.

She is not and won't be the last person to love you or that you will love that is being a defeatist... a desperate attempt to justify why you can't let her go.

I don't know about that, honestly. You see, How I've learnt to deal with this is to stand like a rock hard wall. No I'm not going numb or closing my heart out, I don't want to fall down. So really, I've got no response to this statement other than I really don't want another relationship if this is over.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

I need to talk to her tomorrow. And she's 18.

The thing is, she has loved me for years and I know how much she's struggled to be with me. and I still don't doubt her feelings, although obviously there are a lot of things to be justified.

I have no doubt that she loves you ..the question is, is she in love with you or are you that comfortable place for her to run back to or lean on when she needs..
You need to sort out your terms of the relationship so you are both on the same page.. do not compromise and agree to it being an open relationship if you are not emotionally strong enough to cope with the idea of her with another person..if you struggle with jealousy, insecurity or lack confidence then an open relationship will probably be a very toxic thing for you .
if she loves you and you let her go she will come back to you .. maybe the timing of this relationship isn't right.

For the first time ever I hope you're wrong but then again, such is life. I'm going to take what's going to come my way because honestly, that's how I've learnt to deal with these situations.

Really?? the first time ever!! well i hope i am wrong

I don't know about that, honestly. You see, How I've learnt to deal with this is to stand like a rock hard wall. No I'm not going numb or closing my heart out, I don't want to fall down. So really, I've got no response to this statement other than I really don't want another relationship if this is over.

i guess if that is what will pull you through until you find your footing again.. just don't close your mind completely off to the idea that there could be another person out there for you..

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I have no doubt that she loves you ..the question is, is she in love with you or are you that comfortable place for her to run back to or lean on when she needs..
You need to sort out your terms of the relationship so you are both on the same page.. do not compromise and agree to it being an open relationship if you are not emotionally strong enough to cope with the idea of her with another person..if you struggle with jealousy, insecurity or lack confidence then an open relationship will probably be a very toxic thing for you .
if she loves you and you let her go she will come back to you .. maybe the timing of this relationship isn't right.

She is in love with me. And she always needs me to be there for her, not that "hey I'm hurt I need you now no wait I'm fine I don't need you" thing.
And yes, I know we need to sort out but could you give me a hint on how to start off the convo tomorrow? Do I say "We need to talk" or "How are you? How are things ... and I want to talk to you"?
And no, I will never want to be in an open relationship no matter how strong and confident I am. Never. Ever.
And if I end it with her I'm not sure what would happen.

i guess if that is what will pull you through until you find your footing again.. just don't close your mind completely off to the idea that there could be another person out there for you..

Hehe, in an alternate dimension perhaps...!

I'm not as angry as I am confused and hurt, but even those emotions are diluted. I will not dwell on them because it's human nature to find a reason for everything. And the more they obsess over it, the more they fall down the slippery slope.
I'm greatful that I got to experience love again after many years.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

just say.. " I was thinking about the conversation we had yesterday........"

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

I will do that.

My thanks to you all.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

This is off topic but I gotta love the little things.

The first 10 songs on my playist:

1. Dismantle. Repair - Anberlin
2. Let's Hear It For Rock Bottom - The Offspring. (I am a wee little superstitious and look for signs).
3. Here I am - Bryan Adams
4. I'm On Your Side - Divinyls
5. I'm Jealous - Divinyls
6. Temperamental - Divinyls
7. One Night Love Affair - Bryan Adams
8. I Want You - Kiss
9. Under Pressure - Queen
10. The Show Must Go On - Pink Floyd

Not to mention the gentle drizzling and the rainbow in the sky.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

Well, I am talking to her and it all boils down to her missing her relationships in person, and the distance is a part of it.

She feels terrible, she's crying and is saying she's sorry. She still says she won't leave me or leave me. But you get the point ...

Both of us feel like shit, mentally and physically.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

I was in a similar situation very recently... it hurts, and it is a hard position to be in
For me, when it came out that he was seeing someone and was kind of in a relationship with her, he did the right thing and set me free and I released him to go pursue what he needed (with the belief that if it was meant to be he would come back to me ).. The distance for him was the problem not his feelings for me.. loneliness is a bitch...temptation is her evil cousin
It was obvious that if he kept things going with me it would be too complicated and it would have caused problems and it would lead to more hurt ... I value his friendship and i can understand why he did what he did and why he needs what he needs. The idea of him with another woman upsets me, the rejection hurts.. but it doesn't take away from the friendship or love i have for him...

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

You're telling me. The very thought of her being sad, alone and her being with some other guy hurts me like a bitch.