Losing Your Virginity: the 411

[Grim Reaper Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Grim Reaper]

I was a virgin until 21. Lost it to my wife. We were in college; she lived at home and her parents were at work. I lasted longer that I thought I would (around 6 minutes), mostly due to the condom eliminating much of the eroticism of the moment. Felt good, though.

We ended up having sex 4 times within the span of about 2 hours, then we went to eat Chinese food. It was a great day. Ah, the newness of sex (and to be 21 again...)

was she a virgin too?

[mcpecker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mcpecker]

Nope, I was her 2nd.

[kak03 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kak03]

Well IŽll add some of my limited experience to the thread

I lost my virginity a few months ago at the age of 22. Now IŽve never had a problem with being a virgin really. My social circle never really talks about sexual endevours so there was no way anyone could make fun of me or anything. IŽm decent looking and not too bad at talking to girls. My reason for being a virgin was simply that I dont find myself in a situation to meet new people a lot. IŽm an introvert and while I enjoy other peoples company IŽm also very content with being on my own. So IŽve never actually tried to lose my virginity at all actually. I just wasnt that bothered by it.

Now, a few moths ago I met a girl and we sort of hit it off. She was really beautiful in my opinion and she even had a great personality. However I actually just saw her as a friend. One night we were hanging out she started giving me the look. You know, the "I want you look". So after a little thought I just went with it.

I was nervous of course but it didnt affect me in any big way. She was more of the passive kind so I naturally took charge and pretty much just did what I wanted to do. I explored her body and kissed her for a while before performing oral on her. IŽm pretty sure I wasnt too good at oral, but not too bad either. I think it was just ok for her. When it was time for me to fuck her I discovered that I wasnt hard at all. This was the first time I really noticed that I was nervous. But after a while I got a semi plus a little, put the condom on and entered her. And IŽm pretty sure I performed well for someone with no experience at all. Didnt have any problem with coming too fast or anything.

So that was my first time. Went pretty well I think and I realize now that it was nothing to be nervous about really.

Unlike how it is with girls who have a hymen to break nothing actually changes for us men when we lose our virginity. You just learn more about how to have sex and thats it. Its an experience. The best way to learn anything is of course doing it, but you can also learn from textual sources and I think that if youŽve read some stuff online and you know the basics you got nothing to be scared of as far as performance is concerned.

As for actually performing the only tip I can give you guys is to just enjoy it. Sex in its most basic sense is penetration plus in and out movement. Besides that it is all up to you. Just do what you want to do and have fun. Explore her body and caress and kiss it and see what she likes. You also dont have to treat her like a china doll. She will let you know either verbally or non verbally if youŽre being too rough.

And if you have the same problem as I had with not getting an erection, just give it time. Relax and just kiss and fondle her and it will get up after a while. AND STOP WATCHING PORN.

So thats it basically. Dont force it to happen, just let it happen naturally. Just have fun and explore. Hope that helps someone

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Great post kako3!...thanks so very much for sharing your experience and for your helpful contribution to this thread!

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Should a man tell the woman that hes a virgin and she is his first sexual partner when its going to happen?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Should a man tell the woman that hes a virgin and she is his first sexual partner when its going to happen?

Yes, that would be a good idea! IMHO!

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey TNBT,

While I don't think it is an obligation to inform a partner of your virgin status; I do think that it would be beneficial to both parties to do so. It can eliminate unnecessary performance anxiety for the guy and increase awareness and understanding on the part of the girl - making it a much more memorable first experience for both.

[kak03 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kak03]

Should a man tell the woman that hes a virgin and she is his first sexual partner when its going to happen?

I think its up to you to decide. Being a virgin isnt like having an STD or something of that nature. It basically means you have no real experience, only textual experience. If you feel like it would relieve pressure for you then maybe you should tell her. And if you feel like she would appreciate it if you told her then do so. But if you think its no big deal, which it really isnt, then I dont see why you should. That doesnt mean I think you should ever lie about it. But if it doesnt come up then I dont personally see a reason to bring it up.

But its your choice. Basically if you feel like you should then tell her. If you feel nervous and have performance anxiety what I would recommend is to take it slow. Just have lots of foreplay and enjoy that. When time comes for you to penetrate her you will be so into it that your anxiety will be gone or lessened. Thats just my thoughts though. Do what you feel is right for you

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

I think its up to you to decide. Being a virgin isnt like having an STD or something of that nature. It basically means you have no real experience, only textual experience. If you feel like it would relieve pressure for you then maybe you should tell her. And if you feel like she would appreciate it if you told her then do so. But if you think its no big deal, which it really isnt, then I dont see why you should. That doesnt mean I think you should ever lie about it. But if it doesnt come up then I dont personally see a reason to bring it up.

But its your choice. Basically if you feel like you should then tell her. If you feel nervous and have performance anxiety what I would recommend is to take it slow. Just have lots of foreplay and enjoy that. When time comes for you to penetrate her you will be so into it that your anxiety will be gone or lessened. Thats just my thoughts though. Do what you feel is right for you

+1

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

Should a man tell the woman that hes a virgin and she is his first sexual partner when its going to happen?

Yes. You take pressure off yourself and lower her expectations of it. The reality is you aren't going to be that good. If she likes you she won't care and like anything, you'll learn with more practice.

[Wolverine22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wolverine22]

I've had a few awkward experiences. Most of them were due to teenage inexperience because we were both deeply closeted. The one that I had that actually ended well happened about a month after my 18th birthday and we took it as slow as possible and while there was a bit of pain for him, in the end it was good and we both got off.

[IWANTA12INCHDIK Banned Find all posts View Profile Close IWANTA12INCHDIK]

unfortunately, I too suffer from 20 yr old virginitis.
It definitely is a disease, especially when it isn't your intent to be a virgin. Its funny how something as simple as putting your Dick in a hole can be so complicated.
After watching amateur porn so much, I'm just gonna mimic the techniques used in those videos and act like I've been having sex since birth.
I'm definitely not gonna tell the girl that I'm a virgin.
dont you other virgins practice grinding into things on the bed such as pillows or blankets?, that way you get a good rhythm and repetition in preparation for the real thing?
get your thrust game on point, that way when you really get the pussy, its gonna seem easier.
you could also buy one of those fake pussys or a sex doll.
i'd be too embarrased to buy one of those though.
also for those who already lost their virginity, did you practice before hand, or your first time attempting sex movements was with the girl??

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

unfortunately, I too suffer from 20 yr old virginitis.
It definitely is a disease, especially when it isn't your intent to be a virgin. Its funny how something as simple as putting your Dick in a hole can be so complicated.
After watching amateur porn so much, I'm just gonna mimic the techniques used in those videos and act like I've been having sex since birth.
I'm definitely not gonna tell the girl that I'm a virgin.
dont you other virgins practice grinding into things on the bed such as pillows or blankets?, that way you get a good rhythm and repetition in preparation for the real thing?
get your thrust game on point, that way when you really get the pussy, its gonna seem easier.
you could also buy one of those fake pussys or a sex doll.
i'd be too embarrased to buy one of those though.
also for those who already lost their virginity, did you practice before hand, or your first time attempting sex movements was with the girl??

Your going to watch porn and mimic it as planned, the girl will know after you blow that 30 seconds makes a good lover, not.

You will most likely not impress her with a porn star approach.

[kak03 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kak03]

I dont see any reason to practice on a pillow like youŽre saying. It wouldnt be very similar to the real thing so I dont think it would have much effect. As for what to do IŽll repeat what I said earlier. Just do what comes natural and go with it. Dont doubt your instincts. If it feels good for you chances are it feels good for her too. Just dont make it awkward and weird by trying to do something you have no idea about. For your first time just explore. Explore her body and have lots of foreplay before getting into missionary. Missionary is simple and intuitive. Just start moving in and out the way that feels natural to you and play around with it. Just have fun and dont complicate things.

And of course experiment all you want to. The more the better. Thats how you learn. And have fun. Never forget to have fun.

Edit: And stop watching porn. It just ****s things up for you. After a few weeks without it you wont understand why you ever watched it anyway. Just a waste of time.

[JohnnyMinotauro Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnnyMinotauro]

I just read this thread start to finish and I have some issues with it.

1. I understand it is suppose to be informative, but why was a thread aimed mentally of virgin males made by a woman, whom I'm willing to bet lost her virginity in her teens and may have never had sex with a virgin. And if she hasn't had sex with a virgin male then her whole little initial posts has zero credibility.

2. There is absolutely stress to losing your virginity as soon as possible, and lets face it, there are a lot of friendly roasting session ahead of you if you are still a virgin in your 20s. and it does get more awkward and more importantly, more difficult to lose, the older you get because you should always disclose that information to someone if "you're able to." It's in human nature, not just female nature, to have a certain opinion about something until he/she experiences it firsthand.

3. Any guys who claims he's saving himself for the right person is either overly religious or pretentious; This is a forum dedicated to improving one's sexual tool, so no one here is so religious that it just has to be the right person. Scenario: In your opinion, the Sexiest woman ever walks up to you and ask for sex, but she has an absolutely stank personality, do you oblige her? I would.

4. Watching or not watching porn will make absolutely zero difference unless you let it. In my experience, Watching has been beneficial.

5. Doing P.E. pretty much trained me for my first time. I was doing 10 second kegels during my edging exercises so I was easily able to stymie ejaculation for as long as I remembered to do so. My first time I last 13 minutes in the 1st round. I clamped regularly so that helped to dull my sensitivity.