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Dannnng. Idk know what to do lol. Everyone has great advice. TGD I'm thinking that if we sign the papers she will change her tone because then it will be the real deal then. I think a seperation is needed to show her how much we really do love each other. She has stated
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Remember even if you separate there is nothing that says you can't start over. So long as you can see your children you can see her. Be the man she misses most!Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline KaelComment
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Stated that she needed space. I told her that she will find someone when we are seperated. She said this "Comment
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"No of course not. I'm not saying it is gonna be permanent. There is no one better than you. Things haven't been the same for awhile now and we're together for all of the wrong reasons. Not because we truly are mad in love with with each other."
That's what she said.
Does anyone know how to edit post from and iphone? I'm sorry my post keep posting like that but I keeps hitting submit unintentionally.Comment
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So agree with her and sign the papers. What's going to change afterwards? You're still going to be living with her and you're still going to see your children.Originally posted by HueGHawk View Post
Even if she starts dating before you, you're still going to be in the picture and you're still going to see your children. Although, I don't think she wants to leave you... I think this is more about her feeling hurt and neglected and thinking that space will make her feel better.Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline KaelComment
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Allow me to translate.Originally posted by HueGHawk View Post
"I don't want to leave you forever, I love you. We've had problems for awhile now that neither of us have addressed in the moment. I am unsure about my feelings for you and I don't know why I am with you." That's about as close as I could get it.
She may not be aware of how relationships go through certain stages and no one stays madly in love. But one thing for certain is that she's pretty upset and she's feeling like this for awhile. I don't think it was just the porn addiction either.Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline KaelComment
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No signing of the papers has even been mentioned yet. I probably didn't make that very clear. Sorry man. I'm saying if I bring her the papers to sign I think she second guess her self. Same here I don't think she wants me wants us to be over. She has said that I never give her time to miss me. I was texting her a lot durning the day and she said that didn't help. So now I only text her if she texts me. Or if it's for the kids.
This is kind of unrelated but it gave me a confidence boost last night. Last night we were talking about when we had sex Sunday night. She said that move that I did with her where I stuck the pillow under her, made her feel like she was a virgin again. She said she never felt anything like it. In order for her to orgasm she has to have her clit touched the entire time. Any other moves that I can do for this? When she gets on top it takes her less than a minute to cum. I know I shouldn't be too worried about this with everything going on, but I'm just curious.Comment
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Sex is not what will keep you together. Face it you really haven't been a nice guy over the years have you? From all I have read here hell I wouldn't stay with you and I'm easy. Now, as we guys do, we're going to act like the good boy and do all the things we should have done before. Guess what? Too late and they usually don't believe it. If I was her I would be thinking that you're just being nice for now and once I tell you it's all okay then you'll go back to doing what you did before and she doesn't want to live that way.
Do what she asks; move out and work on yourself. It seems you have some work to do. With time if you really have changed she will notice and maybe want you back. If she doesn't want you back well then lesson learned for the next time. All this texting and being sweet and buying flowers is not going to help and more ties than not will hurt even more. Go make yourself a better man for yourself and any other person you may end up with.The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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I gotta go with CUSP82 on this one. You are chasing her and driving her away! Don't contact her unless she contacts you, and even then don't answer right away... It's ok to miss a phone call or respond late to a text. Give her a chance to miss you like she said. No really, listen to what she's telling you to do and back off. That goes for sex too! Don't talk about it with her or try to seduce her.
Follow the rules I gave you so you can keep from being too needy or co-dependent. Use this time for you can give her the space she needs to miss you. At the very least get a hobby or a gym membership, something to keep you out of her way for awhile everyday. If you really want to make her miss you, take the kids for a while and give her a few hours to herself everyday or whenever she needs it.Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline KaelComment
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When my wife was going to leave I brought her "the papers" and that became a reality for here. I did do it to see what would happen, a gamble if you will and it made her think about us.
I am in no way saying you should do what I did. Just saying what happened.
Regardless of what you decide keep working on you. Go fishing for a weekend, become more social with your friends. Basically give her alone time even while your still there.Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than beforeComment
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You're completely misreading what I'm telling him. You completely missed the part where I said a willingness to start from square one. The time it takes to move from walking "dates" through the park to actually holding hands and kissing could likely be several weeks to months, depending how injured she feels because of their past. But a frank conversation about his concerns should happen right away.Originally posted by TheGreatDivider View Post
I don't recommend he move out because of the risk he runs losing custody of his kids. He has far more to gain by treating her as a roommate (they are sleeping in separate rooms now) but being a good father to their kids than he does by moving out.
1. nothing soften's a mother's heart like true kindness to her kids; moving out means that he will miss a lot of opportunity to behave like a father and she will have almost no opportunity to witness his kindness.
2. he is available as she realizes that she needs help; gratitude for help will be more beneficial than resentment because of his absence (she won't care that he is gone because she told him to go, it will still be his fault because he neglected her first).
3. being kind to her kids and helping her when necessary will do more to convince her of his true intentions than moving out as you recommend.
However, if she continues to be obstinate but is willing to sign papers concerning custody and child support that are agreeable to him, then there is little reason to stay in the same house. But moving out straight away presents a risk that is opposite to his desires for his kids.Comment
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We haven't agreed on signing papers for the kids at all. It hasn't even been mentioned yet.Comment
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We haven't agreed on signing papers for the kids at all. It hasn't even been mentioned yet. So I shouldn't move out yet until those are signed correct? Will look bad on me if we go for a custody battle?Comment
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Move out, learn, improve, stay in contact with the kids ( not her), and make yourself into a better person FOR YOUR KIDS! (and if she notices the new you with TIME you may get another chance)
Asking her to sign any papers will just add fuel to a fire.The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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If neither one of you is mentioning separation papers don't bring it up. Don't make this official until you know for sure. And don't move out of the house right away. I think this whole separation thing is her way of telling you she needs space. Give her plenty of it and see if she doesn't miss you after a few weeks.Originally posted by HueGHawk View Post
This situation reminds me of a story about husband and wife who were both retired. The husband followed his wife around constantly trying to make up for the times he hadn't been there for her. This drove her crazy until she grew fed up and filed for divorce. They went to marriage counseling during this time and there she told him how she forgave him long ago, but that what she really wanted was some space. Fortunately they did make up and stay together, and he got a few hobbies.Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline KaelComment
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