Overcoming Peyronie's, PremE, and HOCD (9 year battle)

[stevew Banned Find all posts View Profile Close stevew]

Thanks alot for the massive reply you clearly took a lot of time writing that! I enjoy improving myself. I just want a tool which will look good and let me do lots of sex positions. I don't want to be limited in life. I also have to be circumcised due to severe phimosis. I mean how much does your curves? I'm thinking yours isn't that much i mean masturbating is really awkward to do... i just want sex to be comfortable and not be limiting... like i want to get close etc try everything not stand behind doing doggy for 1 hour...
I don't want to be a disappointment.
I have stopped watching porn and cutting down masturbation (trying to eliminate it).
If theres cream out there... medication... stretching techniques... good surgery options... i will take it because i don't want to live my life being restricted.
I understand having a curved dick isn't the end of the world and can allow normal sex. I mean my penis is 5.8 girth 2 inches wide so it's thick plus a big curve = pain... especially for girls close to my age. If i fix my curve i know i won't care about any other insecurity i have.

[slurve100 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slurve100]

Hey man, I got a chance to re-read my post there and thought it may have come across as a bit preachy. not my intention, just wanted you to try and switch up your thinking a bit. It also may have been a bit of a rant at my old self, haha if that makes sense. Sort of a therapy session with my teenage self. The concern you have over your own issue really reminds me of how I used to think. The danger here is fixating on it so much it holds you back from growing as a person. I totally understand if you feel like you have to get it fixed to move on. Maybe talk to a few doctors and see what they say, (while simultaneously using Voodoo's technique) and if they all tell you it's normal, sit down and do some hard thinking from the opposite direction. Not fixating on the thought that you HAVE to change it, instead WHY do I have this feeling that I need to change it? If you NEED surgery (not just WANT it) then that would be something you can discuss with your urologist. The best way I can describe my curve is this: If I were to get an old kitchen clock with about an 8" diameter (saying this cuz i have one), hold it like 8" in front of my stiffy, put a laser pointer straight out from my urethra (where a straight woody would point dead centre), mine would point somewhere between the numbers 7 and 8. Sort of a guess but I hope that makes sense. Anyways, go easy on yourself, nobody's perfect. Let us know how it goes with the doctors, and if you do ever find a cure for the curve let me know.

[stevew Banned Find all posts View Profile Close stevew]

Thanks for the reply. Some good news is i posted my issue on a peyronies forum which forcuses on penis curvature. There is a STAGE technique if which you loose only 1mm for every 10 degrees of curvature and it has very high success rates. They were done on the UK with 164 patients. The surgery worked on all people although 3 were left with a still reduced curve of 30 degrees of which was fixed with a repoeration. If i can get this srugery i will definetley do it. Also bare in mind those who has it were 90% venteral (my curvature) and 45-90 degrees so my operation shouldn't be as bad and i will only loose not even half of a cm compared to nesbit 1-3cm...
Although this is if i DO NOT have peyronies...
After jelqing i have noticed some dents and occasionally i'm playing with my penis after masturbation it can narrow if i pull my skin back.
I really hope i do not have peyronies and can have this surgery. No one got ED from it and no other symptoms. Even if there was a small chance i would do it... this is really the be all or end all of me having a good sex life.

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

slurve100 thanks for the personal insights to help stevew, they were very on point IMO. And yes, stevew it's hard for me to say unless you could literally post a picture or send one via email, but you might be totally wrong about this whole surgery thing being an "end all be all for a good sex life." I mean, you've not even TRIED having sex with a girl have you? You don't even KNOW for sure that it wouldn't work. I mean seriously man, I think you're fixed on this idea that a penis has to be shaped one certain way to fit inside a vagina...and that's just not true. Penises really do come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. We're all made differently.

Now, I'm not trying to belittle your case, but I know from personal experience how powerful the mind can be when it has convinced itself of something. BUT you have to realize that your mind is not reality. It is creating it's own reality that might not fit with ACTUAL reality. So for you, this whole idea that you can't have sex because of your curve MIGHT very well be a totally false concept. I've never once had a girl freak out about my curvature. It's always been my anxiety and weak erections that have caused issues in bed. If I had 100% strong erections, the curvature would not be an issue.

Could you possibly post a picture of your erection and/or email it to me? I'm not trying to get super personal here but if any of us could prove to you that you're fine for having normal sex, that's the only way we could do it. It might give you some relief before you visit the doctor. If you don't want to that's your call.

I'll be doing an update on here soon (my ultrasound came back clean and proved that I DON'T HAVE PEYRONIE'S!!!).

Also, it would be great if everything regarding stevew's issues could now be posted on his forum that he linked to. I don't want this getting too far off topic since it was originally supposed to be somewhat of a personal log journal for my particular case. I will chime in over on your personal thread stevew. But thanks for all the input everyone.

cheers,
voodoo

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

UPDATE:

I'm really doing awesome guys. My day to day life experience is full of far more joy than it ever has been. My bouts of depression have pretty much vanished. I seriously can't remember the last time I was truly depressed like I used to be which was pretty much every day for years and years of my life.

My mind is so much healthier. My anxiety levels are even more reduced than my last good update and I have much more clarity in my thinking. It's like I'm flowing WITH life now rather than AGAINST it all the time. My music career is picking up pace as well as my overall levels of creativity and inspiration. I'm actually excited to be alive now! Imagine that!

Anyways, my biggest update is that I DO NOT HAVE PEYRONIE'S DISEASE!!!

After seeing four different urologists with none of them willing to do an ultrasound or further testing I finally found a holistic clinic that was willing to order an ultrasound for me. Thank god. FINALLY I got the chance to determine whether or not my curvature is being caused by ligament/musculature issues or scar tissue from the initial injury when I was 13.

And to my relief it is not being caused by scar tissue/calcification. Therefore, my final diagnosis is this:

- The popping sound at the time of the injury was my right suspensatory ligament. This is why my penis will literally fall over to the left during an erection (if I don't hold it up) but not to the right (if I'm lying down). There is no ligament keeping things held on the right side so it can just fall the opposite direction without that tension there. I discovered this similarity recently to some other people who thought they'd experienced a ligament "pop". This clears up that issue for me a lot however there don't seem to be cases of naturally healing these ligaments and surgeries sound iffy at best in regard to the suspensatory ligaments.

So, I was 13, I pop my right ligament (without knowing that that is what happened). My flaccid goes hard immediately due to the fear (which I now know is a normal physical reaction for the penis in a time when the mind goes into survival mode which triggers the pelvic floor muscles to tighten up). This "hard flaccid" causes me to perpetuate the worrying which in turn, obviously, perpetuates hard flaccid syndrome.

Then when I get home to check my penis, I notice that my erections all of the sudden don't stand up properly and I begin to freak out. And as you well know, I kept it a secret and began to withdraw from life and the normal course of trajectory for growth as a young teen. I was stunted in one way...but now years later I realize I've been blessed because I am more awake to the miracle and gift of life than the average joe.


Other thoughts and where I currently stand:

Had I known all of the things to start doing when I was 13 I probably could've gone on to heal within 6 months or less. But I did all of the wrong things without knowing it (except avoiding getting surgery, that was a good thing). So, my problems only got worse and I began to get tangled not only in the physical problems but the endless amounts of psychological problems that stemmed from my physical issues. This basically turned into a colossal web of confusion that affected my development in many aspects of life but mostly socially (it actually made me a better student and musician because I didn't have social obligations distracting me). Eventually I just sort of lived in this reality. It became my life. It became who I was in a sense. I couldn't understand how things were for other people because my reality was so distorted.

Sadly, this was allowed to happen through a very deep denial. The denial stemmed mostly from the fact I had learned online (within a few months after the injury) that penis fractures (which is not what happened to me) can only be healed through surgery...not to mention that I kept it all a secret. So my unconscious defense to my situation was to try and ignore it because there was ultimately "nothing" I could do about it. I just dealt with it and lived in a world of pain. I became extremely depressed and anxious and did not know of any way out. This went on for many years.

I now believe that as my mind stops triggering waves of anxiety/fear, my pelvic floor will return to a fully healthy and relaxed state. I have been witnessing this process unfolding ever since obitoo released his book "HF Unraveled" and even before that as I was practicing yoga and meditation (and still do). My hard flaccid is literally almost healed I believe. Within the next 3 months I think I won't be having even the mild attacks I experience in certain situations.

In conjunction with this huge improvement I've begun doing minuteman's pelvic floor routine. JUST the first stage though. I've realized that through all that tension in my pelvic floor, my muscles grew really weak over time. Now that they are in a more relaxed state I'm going to slowly strengthen them again through kegal routines. Currently I've been doing 10 regular and 10 reverse every night for about 4-5 days a week, very slowly and controlled. I will do this until it is easy and strong.

I think as my pelvic floor regains strength, the ligament will also rebuild itself. I know it sounds crazy but I truly believe in the power of the human body to heal itself. The issue is that we either get in the way physically or we get in the way mentally of this natural healing ability.

Anyways, the "dent" that I used to talk about having has smoothed out a TON. It's like my penis is regrowing lol. But really I know it's just muscles relaxing that have been tensed for so long. My flaccid state is to the point most the time where I would not be embarrassed being naked around someone. It just looks down right HEALTHY!! Woooo!!!

Also with continuing my abstinence and no porn watching my sensitivity seems to be getting back to normal. I can feel arousal just talking to cute girls but it's not in a weird way where my behavior changes. I think this has to do with not watching porn. I swear porn really affects your social ability with girls. Somehow you just can't get past the fact that they're a girl!! It's so stupid. Your mind is like omg she has tits holy shit and a mouth and a vagina ummm... hi? what's your name? hahah you see what I'm saying? Then when you get back to normal (being off porn for a while), it's like this natural arousal comes into play but it FEEDS your ability to interact with them socially, not inhibits your ability to interact. Does that make sense? I finally know why it is truly good to break the addiction and habitual use of watching porn, if for none other than that very reason.

One thing I wanted to mention is that I've recently purchased a juicer (The Kuvings Whole Slow Juicer) which has been great!! I drink one a day and it gives me the best feeling ever. It's like a surge of health going through your body. I would recommend juicing to anyone. There's no tastier or easier way to eat a shit ton of vegetables in one sitting! Plus your body absorbs it far better because it doesn't have to digest the fiber. It's a win win situation. Probably one of the best things you can do for your health.


Anyways, guys I'm really hopeful that I will be healed by the turn of the year. In a sense, because of how far I've come, I AM healed. It's just a matter of time now. I'm really not worried about WHETHER or not I CAN heal because I've seen how much healing has already taken place. So I KNOW I can heal. I just don't know the exact timeline. In the grand scheme of things, compared to the 10 years I've dealt with this shit, I will be at 100% much sooner than later.

Oh and btw, my blood results were off the charts. The doctor said she's never seen anyone with so much of the "good" cholesterol. My resting heart rate is 45 and my blood pressure was 105/59. I'm super healthy fellas and that's why my body is healing itself. If you aren't super healthy, your body will be busy working on other things that, to its intelligence, are more important than your penis. Yes, I know, we as men would like to think our bodies would understand that the penis is way at the top of the priority list, but unfortunately, it's not. There is a hierarchy of healing that we don't even understand yet. Eventually, western medicine will join forces with eastern medicine, and it will all make sense...but until then, at least we've got underground forums like this.

Cheers everyone!! Get healthy and be strong!!

VoodooChild

[stevew Banned Find all posts View Profile Close stevew]

Congrats man! So you literally removed the disease? Do you think this maybe partly due to some cases getting better over time. I mean Urologists do mentions this and it is written on the NHS website... it can't be unproven...
Posting my reply to your comment Voodoo on my thread.
Visited my GP for other reasons and also showed him the vein which is apparently normal... i think jelqing creates/enlargens veins. Anyways my penis went smaller and hard when getting it out to show him... your right about that nervous thing... i think my whole hard flaccid scare is mostly in my head. Although i will carry on doing yoga for general health. (Only mentioned that to back up your point i shall carry on the rest of my msg on my thread).

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

So you literally removed the disease? Do you think this maybe partly due to some cases getting better over time.

Well, it's more likely that I was misdiagnosed with peyronies...meaning, I don't think I ever had peyronies in the first place (which makes the title of this thread misleading now). I mean, they never did an ultrasound to know for sure that I had peyronies. They just went off the fact that I had curvature which was not there prior to the injury. It's pretty ridiculous that the first four urologists wouldn't just do an ultrasound to confirm whether or not I actually had scar tissue (peyronies). I could've put that idea to rest YEARS ago had they done a freaking ultrasound.

SO, my advice, IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE PEYRONIE'S DISEASE, OR HAVE BEEN "DIAGNOSED" WITH PEYRONIE'S, DON'T MAKE A FINAL VERDICT UNTIL YOU'VE HAD AN ULTRASOUND!!! Otherwise you might be wasting your time thinking you have a disease that you don't have.

[slurve100 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slurve100]

Hey fellas,

Wow, congrats Voodoo! That's a huge discovery, and it sounds like you're well on the way back to 110%! My apologies for sort of hijacking your thread there, I went off on a bit of a rant and it got the better of me.

Re: the juicing thing, I have a nutri-bullet and It's great for pulverizing almost anything and turing it into a smoothie. It's day 3 of the braces for me, so smoothies are a lifesaver. I was curious if you were into making blended smoothies before you got the juicer, and if you find a difference between the two? It's about day 5 of eating 95% whole foods and veggies (I don't count processed things like yogurt and soups) and already I can tell a huge difference in my energy levels and general feeling of "wellness"

Another thing I'd love to bounce off you guys, is a few things that have really been helping me clear my mind of a lot of the garbage and negativity/repetitive thought patterns that I've been living with for so long. My latest reads have been: Osho's 'Learning to Silence the Mind: Wellness through Meditation', Alan Watts' 'THE BOOK: on the taboo against knowing who you are', and my current read is Eckhart Tholle's 'The Power of Now'. Have you read any books lately that have inspired a change in your mindset? Speaking of Alan Watts if you've got the time, I would highly recommend listening to some of his talks. He may not be for everyone, but I find his brand of philosophy fascinating if nothing else, and a great way to examine and possibly change your thinking from the typical. You can find a lot of them on YouTube, this is one of my personal faves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIWooLKkOck Like I said, not for everyone, but he delivers his talks in a fun, sometimes poetic, and very articulate way. Definitely fun to think about.

I'm going to check out minuteman's PF routine now, it sounds pretty simple and I'm sure it couldn't hurt. A quick update of my own is that I've been PMO free since my original post and it feels different this time. I genuinely feel like I'm done with it and I think it has to do with simply talking to you guys about it. It's the first time I've ever done anything like this, and I think it's had a massive effect on my willpower. Wanted to thank Voodoo and all the guys again for this thread, simply talking about these issues is a MASSIVE first step on the way to recovery! The mind is an amazing thing. Looking forward to more updates Voodoo, so stoked for you on your progress already!

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

Thanks a lot slurve, glad you're getting things set on the healthy track.

I was curious if you were into making blended smoothies before you got the juicer, and if you find a difference between the two?

Yes I make smoothies too and used to make them everyday for a solid 4-6 months. You can find my super smoothie recipe earlier in this thread.

I like juicing because I can consume the nutrients of a shit ton of veggies in one easy to drink glass of juice. Smoothies tend to taste better with more fruit than veggies but a juice can be mostly veggies and still taste great. The nutrients are absorbed better by the body because it doesn't have to digest all of the fiber. In a smoothie you get the fiber which is good too but you can't fit as many nutrients in a single drink. That is the main difference. I'd recommend both...but juicing is the fastest way to really up the amount of veggies in your daily diet. There's no way I could eat the amount of raw veggies that go into a single juice in one sitting. No one could really.

Have you read any books lately that have inspired a change in your mindset?

Eckhart Tolle is a favorite of mine as well as Ram Dass. Alan Watts is great. Haven't read Osho yet. Another great read is Deepak Chopra's "Super Brain" as well as Michael Singer's "Untethered Soul." All very good books regarding the power of the mind and how to find your true self (consciousness/soul/whatever you want to call it).

And yes, overcoming PMO is a huge battle. You will probably have to fight the urge again at some point but stay strong. It's tough. I'm in it with you and it is definitely important for you overall mental clarity and sexual health.

Probably won't be on here much again for awhile fellas. Gonna keep going on with my life and all these routines. I will plan on updating when I have another break through.

If you really need to contact me, send a private message and I will get back to those first. But I'll be quiet on this thread till my next update.

Thanks and good luck!!

Voodoo

[spartax Member Find all posts View Profile Close spartax]

I have also found juicing tremendously useful and there are a couple of things worth adding if they haven't been mentioned before. The first is that to get the best out of them you should should consume fresh juice on an empty stomach about half an hour before you eat so that your body absorbs as many nutrients as possible.

The second point is that a lot of the healing vitamin K found in juices requires a high quality fat such as cod liver oil for absorption. I have found grass fed butter to be very good since it already contains vitamin K2 as well as butyrate and if you look up grass fed butter you'll be amazed at all the wonderful things it does.

For me grass fed butter has really felt like a missing part of the puzzle because it helps to repair the gut lining that controls the immune system. At first I was just drinking the juice but after I started eating big chunks of butter everyday it just seemed to connect all the dots.

The great thing about juicing is that it gives the body the nutrients it needs to fix itself and yes I have Peyronies but it would be just as relevant to any number of other diseases. Give your body the right nutrients and it already knows how to fix itself.

At this point I am now at about 5 degrees curvature but that has come down from almost 90 degrees since December with all the inflammation and scarring in rapid retreat. Thanks to conversations with Voodoo I am also taking the meditation more seriously now and doing that for about an hour a day.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that every over paid urologist and surgeon would have insisted an operation was the only viable solution to fix my Peyronies 6 months ago and they would all have been completely wrong.

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

spartax,

You're input has been invaluable along with the example of your healing experience with peyronies. I hope it comes full circle soon.

Even though I ended up having other issues and not peyronies, it proves that all of the things I was recommending in regard to anti-inflammatory plant based diet was not a bunch of bullshit. It really is the way out of peyronies, and like you said it would apply to all disease really...just as it is helping in my case. Quite literally, the complexities of our medical system right now could be forgone and a revolution of the medical system could help the population much more just by educating people on the truth that the human body will heal itself if you do the right things. Pharmaceuticals are band-aids. Plants are the true medicine.

Unfortunately, it's taken us a lot of wrong turns to start realizing what true healers have know for ages. The natural world has a power that we can harness. It's about overcoming your own ego and western desires to start living a truly healthy life. From there you can heal anything. People are reversing cancer and heart disease these days from JUICING. How's that for an "incurable" disease? The top two killers in America should not even exist...only rarely.

I'm going to look into the grassfed butter thing. Thanks for that input. And yes juicing is extremely beneficial to the body. I also knew about the empty stomach thing thanks to foodbabe. It definitely makes a difference.

Cheers
voodoo

[spartax Member Find all posts View Profile Close spartax]

For anybody else who comes along with Peyronies and reads this I just wanted to let you know that this is one of those situations where I just keep going with the same routine day after day with no apparent change and then see a sudden drop in curvature from say 45 to 30 degrees apparently overnight. Then weeks again with no change.

The key is to remain consistent during the times when nothing is apparently changing and wait patiently while the body is sorting itself out. It only takes a tiny piece of scarring to produce some kind of deformity but when those small pieces dissolve the transformation in overall appearance can be dramatic. The good part is the inflammation eventually dies down as well so you are less at risk of injury, however you still need to be careful.

At this stage it is easy to become impatient and wonder why it hasn't changed in the last few days when the curvature is down to around 5 degrees but that's entirely normal. I'm hoping it will go completely straight before long and then I may have to wait some more to regain some of the lost length.

I know one guy who had a relatively minor case that cleared up but after another 6 months he was still stuck with an annoying last 5 degrees that wouldn't go and a small 1cm of lost length. I told him about ginger, which he subsequently tried and after 10 days it suddenly relaxed as the last piece healed.

Hippocrates the father of modern medicine said a few useful things that modern doctors have apparently forgotten.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”

"First do no harm"

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.”

“The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well.”

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Congratulations on your progress! And on your dedication! Keep up the good work!

[spartax Member Find all posts View Profile Close spartax]

There is no way I am going back to bad habits after getting this far!

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

FINALLY, I've found a great video that proves what I've been saying this whole time regarding the myth that "athletes/bodybuilders NEED animal proteins in order to gain muscle..." It just flat out isn't true AT ALL. Look at this guy I mean come on if I saw somebody doing those things at my gym I'd be like "yo dude what the hell are you eating?"...yep just plants people. Just plants. Thank you Frank Medrano for completely vanquishing this terrible myth into oblivion. I want to have strength like that someday. Good lord.

YOU DON'T NEED ANIMAL PROTEIN...PERIOD!!!