CONTEST: Give Me Your Best Penis Joke, Meme or Comic

[jaw2008 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jaw2008]

Q. How many knees do men really have?


A. 3.... a right knee, a left knee and their wee-knee.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

A pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender says: "Isn't that uncomfortable?" The pirate says: " YARRR, it's driving me nuts!"

[Wolf71 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wolf71]

Two guys taking a leak off a bridge.
First guy: "This water's cold."
Second guy: "And deep!"

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Man walks in a bar. Sits down and begins reading the paper. Finally curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the bartender why there is a gorilla sitting at the bar reading a newspaper. The bartender laughs and says watch this. Bartender goes and punches the gorilla in the nose right through the newspaper. The gorilla bums down, runs behind the bar and gives the bartender a blow job. Then goes right back to reading the newspaper. The bartender goes back to the guy and says pretty awesome eh? Yeah says the guy. Bartender asks do you want to try it. The guy replies sure, but don't hit me as hard.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

Here is one for the guys to try, (you gals are welcome to give it a try if you think you can pull it off):

Sometime when you walk into a busy public restroom with a lot of the urinals being used, wait until you have your turn and have unzipped and started your download. Announce loudly "So this is where all the dicks hang out". If executed properly, an awkward silence will ensue. Thus insuring yourself hours of amused reflection.

Come on I know you want to.

P.S. One of the times I did this was at a NASCAR event and I was answered by four people saying: "Here"

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

What do a Rubix cube and a cock have in common? A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

I have another penis joke.

"It's short but a lot of women laugh at it."

I know...ouch

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

A husband challenges his wife to tell him something that will make him happy and sad at the same time.
Without a pause she says, " You have a bigger penis then your brother"

[KMWylie Senior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close KMWylie]

8 more days to enter!! Come on guys - post a penis joke, meme, video, etc. :-D

[Wolverine22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Wolverine22]

A cucumber, a black olive, and a dick were talking.

The cucumber said, "My life sucks! Whenever I get ripe, they cut me up and put me on a salad."

The black olive said, "You think that's bad, whenever I get big, they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The dick replied, "That's it? Whenever I get happy, they put me in a bag, shove me in a dark cave and leave me there until I throw up."

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

This one is for Dangler.

There is this three story building with three weird guys living in it. The guy on the first floor sells pickles out the window. The guy on the second floor pees out the window and the guy on the third floor shaves out the window.

One day the guy on the third floor drops his razor and on the way down it slices off the genitales of the guy peeing out the window which drop into an open jar of pickles on the first floor. The next day a customer returns to the first floor and asks if he can have another Jar of pickles with nuts included.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

bangkok.jpg

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

The definition of disappointment:

A man walks into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

too fat.jpg

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

"It's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard."