CONTEST: Give Me Your Best Penis Joke, Meme or Comic

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

While visiting his father's nursing home, the son notices that the nightly pill regemin includes a viagra pill for all the male patients.

The son then goes to the nurses station to inquire about the procedure and is advised that the Viagra is administered in order to keep the elderly gentlemen from rolling out of bed at night.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

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I had to post this, I lived in Idaho for a few years.

i like the fact a woman is holding this, Tater?

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

pass word.jpg

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

Question: Why is a tiger like a one inch penis?

Answer: They're not something you want to fuck with.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

demotivational.jpg

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

What did the O say to the Q? Your dick is hanging out.

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

little red.jpg

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

Penis jokes are so old.......I mean CUM on

[closed163 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed163]

Penis jokes are so old.......I mean CUM on

hahaha you DICKhead xDD. I was laughting at the password joke but most of all,the demotivation one with the bathroom and the girls staring pictures.I remember one day I went and looked a pic of one with a face like saying HOW SMALL,and i said laughting WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT BITCH?THIS IS MALE'S BATH.GTF OUT OF HERE xD

[Thumper39 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thumper39]

The Corps found they had too many enlisted members and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any Marine who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points of his body.. The Marine got to choose what those two points would be.

The first Marine who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second Marine who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Gunny who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, ‘From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.’

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.. But the old Gunny insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Gunny to ‘drop ‘em,’ which He did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!’ he suddenly exclaimed, ‘Where Are your testicles?’

The old Gunny calmly replied, ‘Afghanistan!"

[KMWylie Senior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close KMWylie]

OK guys - it's time to vote!

PM me (DON'T post your vote) your top 5 favorite penis jokes, memes, etc. posted - by POST # (see the little number to the right of the top of each post, in the blue bar? - that number).

The post with the most votes will win! If there's a tie, the winner will be chosen randomly from the top vote entries.

I'll take votes up until NOVEMBER 30th!

The winner will receive -- Max Out jelqing Serum!

[Thumper39 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thumper39]

I wanted to post this the other day but didn't want to double post.

An Army Ranger, a Navy SEAL, a Green Beret, and a Marine are all sitting around a camp fire telling stories.

The Army Ranger says the are the toughest because they parachute in, hump 20 miles and then kill everyone in sight.

The Navy SEAL states the are the toughest for parachuting in, humping 30 miles and killing everyone in sight.

The Green Beret finally bursts out and exclaims that they are the toughest for parachuting in, humping 40 miles and killing everyone in sight.

The other three finally look over at the Marine wanting to see what he has to say. But he just sat there with a little smile on his face quietly stirring the coals of the fire, with his dick.

[elmerh Member Find all posts View Profile Close elmerh]

3 guys go camping in their new tent.

After a night's sleep, the guy sleeping on the left of the tent wakes up in a cold sweat and tells the others "I had the most horrible nightmare that somebody was trying to pull my dick off!"

The guy sleeping on the right says "Weird! I had the exact same dream!"

The guy sleeping in the middle says "I had a dream that I was skiing ..."

[jelq2gain Member Find all posts View Profile Close jelq2gain]

I once met a girl who said "I want 8 inches"

I said "I'm not bending it in half for anybody"

[Rasputine Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rasputine]

I tried hard to think of a penis joke,but alas it just went flaccid