CONTEST: Give Me Your Best Penis Joke, Meme or Comic

[tank0909 Senior Member Member of the Month Jan. 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close tank0909]

My wife told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... so I f*cked her twice and hit her with a brick.

[Rasputine Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rasputine]

What did one penis to the other penis?
You know you’re a real dick

[Volley Member Find all posts View Profile Close Volley]

A man goes to the doctor with a lump on his forehead
Doc has a look and a feel and tells the guy to come back in a week
Week later guy goes back
Doc says "I'm afraid it looks like you are growing another penis"
Guy goes apeshit and exclaims "Do you mean every time I look in the mirror I'm going to see a cock hanging there"
"Oh no" says the Doc, "it will be alright because the balls will he hanging over your eyes".

[tifacna Banned Find all posts View Profile Close tifacna]

[be gone, evil spammer]

[CrouchetyOldMan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CrouchetyOldMan]

I went to the doctor to get surgery to make my dick bigger: He explained all of the issues.
I had to stop him.. there is no chance I'm letting you near him after all of that - can't you just take the last knuckle off of each finger?
Much happier now - chopsticks are near impossible though.