Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[EarlyMatt Member Find all posts View Profile Close EarlyMatt]

This is such a great thread Ammonite!

I just started shortly gaining more information about my PE and this thread really helps me to get started.
Biggest problem for me is the enormous amount of IKs I realized since being aware of them (I wasn't the last 20 years or so).


Two Questions:

1.) I do get IKs even at the beginning of an erection. It is kind of pumping the unit up but unfortunately also raising the level of arousal. The problem is, if I concentrate on not letting those happen, I will stay flaccid. Additionally I get single stronger IKs on every stroke downwards the midshaft and very quick pulsing softer IKs when touching the area around the frenulum. I do a RK routine but my RK seems not to be strong enough to cut those off completely. What's my line here regarding your guide? Is it enough to try cutting out as much as possible and perhaps get rid of the rest later on with more experience?

2.) Now I began with step 1 of your guide. Im wondering if it is normal that I am getting issues with maintaining an erection while edging and concentrating on all those IKs and trying to fight them with RKs and keeping relaxed. I never had problems with that in my "normal" masturbation habits or during sex.
Why could my erection suddenly be an issue while trying to edge properly?

[eworthi Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close eworthi]

Right now I've got a two part edging routine, hand with lube is one, and fleshlight is the other. I've got them scheduled but I don't give myself a hard time if I miss a session. For the lubed hand edging I concentrate on not IKing, so that is very slow with controlled breathing and RK's, I enjoy it but it's not about pleasure. With the fleshlight I don't currently pay attention to RK's, I just focus on getting into a state of controllable high stimulus pleasure, and stay there, which is how I would define plateau edging.

[NorCalMan Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NorCalMan]

This has been so informative! I'm just starting out ... determined to improve my pe. I just finished edging (about 15 mins) for the first time without ejaculating! Usually I shoot off within 3-4 minutes. I have alot of work ahead of me but I think I've begun the process.

[gbb011 Member Find all posts View Profile Close gbb011]

Thank you

1) The head is the most common area for IK to occur because it has the most nerve endings so is the most sensitive. Ideally you want to edge including the whole of the penis, to get used to all of the sensations, so that it is most similar to sex. I think I described a technique somewhere in this thread to counter IK from the head, which sort of links in with your second question.

What you do is hold a very strong RK (can use your abs for support if needed) and gently touch the head of your penis (whilst erect). While this would normally cause an IK, hopefully the strong RK will stop this, because it isn't possible to hold an RK and kegel at the same time (I think). If you still get an IK, you can try touching even more gently, or in a less sensitive area (the frenulum is normally the most sensitive). Overtime, you will find that you get less IK, and can progress to using harder touches while doing the exercise.

2) The same principle applies here, by using the RK during edging it stops the IK and so over time and repetition the new response becomes ingrained. Eventually, you won't even need to do the RK to stop the IK because they will be eliminated anyway. I did most of my early edging sessions holding a constant RK, and it worked for me in getting rid off most IK. If you still find it too hard you can use an easier grip, but yes using RK during edging is a well established technique for countering IK.

To finish off, the most important thing about edging is experimenting and doing what feels right. Because the body is so used to masturbation leading to quick orgasm, any way you edge teaches the body a new response which will counter your Pre E. Plateau edging is just one way of doing it, and as you experiment you will start being able to make your own decisions about which direction to take your edging in. It's essentially all about changing that habit of going for the quick orgasm.

Such an exact response, this is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you!

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Two Questions:

1.) I do get IKs even at the beginning of an erection. It is kind of pumping the unit up but unfortunately also raising the level of arousal. The problem is, if I concentrate on not letting those happen, I will stay flaccid. Additionally I get single stronger IKs on every stroke downwards the midshaft and very quick pulsing softer IKs when touching the area around the frenulum. I do a RK routine but my RK seems not to be strong enough to cut those off completely. What's my line here regarding your guide? Is it enough to try cutting out as much as possible and perhaps get rid of the rest later on with more experience?

2.) Now I began with step 1 of your guide. Im wondering if it is normal that I am getting issues with maintaining an erection while edging and concentrating on all those IKs and trying to fight them with RKs and keeping relaxed. I never had problems with that in my "normal" masturbation habits or during sex.
Why could my erection suddenly be an issue while trying to edge properly?

1) I think that it's pretty common to get IK when getting an erection, as you say to get more blood into the erection. I also used to get them, still even do sometimes if when I'm getting a boner and it gets restricted by clothing. I worked on eliminating these IK after I'd got rid of most IK actually during edging, so try and work on those first if you can't deal with the ones when you're getting an erection. You can use abs for extra support when doing RK as I mentioned in the previous post. However, you should try and avoid using the abs every time you do an RK, because I do not know if using such force often may have bad effects.

You might find this helpful:
Controlling the Causes of Arousal Escalation: Body Control 120 - Blogs - PEGym Forums

2) You might be having trouble keeping an erection simply because you're not used to it, and just need to practise keeping it without IK. If the problem consists, you may wish to check out the erectile dusfunction forum, and see if anything there can help you out.

[Kipper905 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kipper905]

Hey guys! First time poster. Sorry if I have to introduce myself elsewhere but thought I'd do it here as I'm after some advice.

First off, amazing thread! So glad I found this! Brief introduction on me:

I had my first orgasm through masturbation at around 13/14. It was amazing! I remember laying down in the shower and seizing up it was that intense. And it's been downhill ever since. Always chasing that orgasm and totally unaware of the damage it would do to my sexual ability. I'm 24 now, so have had this for pretty much 10 years. Always had a high sex drive and craved sex, but recently hardly haven't at all. I'm with a girl and she loves our sex (even if it does last only 5 minutes, even though I fake it because it only lasts 30 seconds for me) and she's always super horny, as I used to be, but since learning about the plateau phase being non existent in Pre E and not having hardly any pleasure from sex, I know this is why I'm so reluctant to have sex, which is great because at one point I was even doubting my attraction to my girlfriend, even though I know for a fact she's the one in every way. That's how bad it got I guess.

But anyway, I said I'd keep this brief, my apologies. Back to the edging:

I have been following this guide for a week and it's been going great. I've been going slow, doing RK's trying to counteract the IK's and using positive thoughts throughout such as "you are the master of your penis, you cum when you want to cum, not when your body tells you" and all that stuff. It's been going well. I had my 4th session last night, but it was a weird one.

I made the effort to edge closer to the head as I found this was where most of my IK's would occur, and I did a good job of holding them back. But usually when I cum (and sorry for the bad biology coming up) I can feel it in bottom of my cum pipe and out. But when I edged last night I felt a strong tingle on the inside of my penis from the bottom to the head, but around the cum pipe, if that makes sense. The feeling lingered and it felt really good, but I slowly backed off through fear of cuming. This happened about 3 times before my session finished.

My question is, has anyone else experienced this? I'm highly doubtful it was the plateau as it was only my 4th session. And even if it was I doubt I could get there again anytime soon. I could be wrong, maybe I got lucky, but I'm not gonna start any wishful thinking. So yeah, has anyone else had this or something similar.

Thanks for reading
Kipper

[RalphPhoLauren Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RalphPhoLauren]

Ammonite, how did you exactly cancel out most of the IK you did in order to get/maintain an erection? I have this problem and I honestly can't get an erection if I don't start IKing when I feel an erection about to come on.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

My question is, has anyone else experienced this? I'm highly doubtful it was the plateau as it was only my 4th session. And even if it was I doubt I could get there again anytime soon. I could be wrong, maybe I got lucky, but I'm not gonna start any wishful thinking. So yeah, has anyone else had this or something similar.

Thanks for reading
Kipper

The time it takes someone to get into the plateau phase is largely due to how long it takes them to get into the right mindset; ie not wanting to get to orgasm quickly/ not thinking about orgasm. This is normally hard to do because people with pre e are simply so used to connecting sexual pleasure to orgasm that it can even be a subconscious connection which is very hard to change and requires lots of edging to overcome. If you have good control over your thoughts and have truly managed to get into the correct state of mind from the start, then there's no reason why this can't be plateau.

From your description it sounds like it can be one of two things. You may need to do some more experimenting to find out which. Firstly, it could be plateau; to check if it is I'd need to know how long it "lingered" for. You don't need to time it exactly, but if you managed to sustain this feeling for at least a minute then plateau is likely. Secondly, it could be the very start of the orgasm phase, since both feel quite similar with the tingly sort of feeling. If it was the start of orgasm then you'd probably reach the PONR within a minute of continued stroking.

However, it is still difficult to tell, because as you are very new to plateau you aren't used to the feelings so may get over excited and pass from plateau into orgasm quite quickly if you think the wrong thoughts or start getting IK. Incidentally, these two things are very strongly interlinked as thinking about cuming seems to be able to trigger IK which gets you closer to the PONR. Therefore, as well as using RK, getting in the right state of mind is also needed to eliminate IK at higher levels of stimulation.

Another way to tell the difference is the feeling in the testes. At the start of the orgasm phase, you may be able to feel the sperm being pumped up from the testes, ready to be ejaculated. This does not happen with plateau, and the pleasant feeling is mainly in the penis shaft.

One thing in the description that makes me think it might be plateau is that you were able to back off. Generally, once you have passed from plateau into the start of orgasm, you can't really get back to plateau. You can slow down and increase the amount of time it takes before you reach the PONR and ejaculate, but you can't prevent climax unless you stop completely or DO. However, you can back off from plateau and go back into excitement.

Either way, this is great progress as you have been able to experience pleasure without ejaculation which is great for encouraging you, and have shown good control with being able to back away. The advice I always give at this stage is don't chase plateau. I say this from experience as when I first got plateau, I went into my next couple of edging sessions determined to recreate the great feelings and I was completely focused on this. Because of doing this, I didn't get back into plateau for quite a while afterwards. This is because I slipped into the goal orientated attitude which is so common to premature ejaculators and does not result in any positives. Of course we should aim for plateau, but the way of doing that is going in wanting to enjoy yourself and not caring or thinking about ejaculation. MM recently made a great post about mindset, I will try and find it and link to it here.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Ammonite, how did you exactly cancel out most of the IK you did in order to get/maintain an erection? I have this problem and I honestly can't get an erection if I don't start IKing when I feel an erection about to come on.

At first I didn't even worry about these IK. Instead, I focused on the ones during edging, and eliminated then by using RK (competing response method). This may have loosened up the muscles down there which then made it easier to eliminate the ones when getting an erection. For the IK that happen when getting an erection, all I did was get an erection in a very controlled environment (nonrestrictive clothing, alone etc) and really focus on not IKing. I'm sorry if I'm not explaining it well, but I was just able to make a conscious effort to stay relaxed and it worked, I didn't really need RK. Overtime this process got easier until it was normal.

Maybe it's because I'm young, haven't had any problems with porn addiction, but I just didn't have any problems with getting an erection without IK so I can't really help that much. The only advice I can give is check out the ED forum if problems persist.

As a side note, you may think you're IKing when actually you're not. When getting an erection, it is normal for the penis to pulsate or jump up with each heartbeat as more blood is pumped in. This action can look like an IK. To tell the difference, place a finger on the perineum and see if the muscle is contracting, if so then it's an IK, if not it's normal and you don't need to worry.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...721?highlight=

Here is the post by MM concerning the correct attitude. This is probably one of the best posts I have seen on this forum. It should be noted that the mindset he talks about isn't really something you can just learn, more like you acquire it by practising lots of edging, experimenting and enjoying yourself with an open mind. Must read post.

[Kipper905 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kipper905]

I forgot to mention that the feeling I felt, I know wasn't like I was going to cum. It was like my penis filling with pleasure rather than something coming out, but didn't want to risk it at this stage. And throughout I've been really conscious of my IK's and this didn't occur when I felt this feeling.

I won't get too excited too soon and I'll follow the advice you just gave me. But thank you so much ammonite for this information. With your help I'm confident I can beat this!

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

I forgot to mention that the feeling I felt, I know wasn't like I was going to cum. It was like my penis filling with pleasure rather than something coming out, but didn't want to risk it at this stage. And throughout I've been really conscious of my IK's and this didn't occur when I felt this feeling.

I won't get too excited too soon and I'll follow the advice you just gave me. But thank you so much ammonite for this information. With your help I'm confident I can beat this!

Sounds like plateau

[RalphPhoLauren Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RalphPhoLauren]

Mhhhh honestly Ammonite, I'm not 100% sure cause I really haven't masturbated in a while and just got intouch with the feeling of it all due to my current living situation, but I feel like I don't IK when I am actually touching my penis or something like masturbating. Maybe I am and just don't know it, but i'll have to take a bigger look at it. I guess i'll go to the ED forums and see what they have to say on it.

[gbb011 Member Find all posts View Profile Close gbb011]

Ammonite or anyone else,

After about a week on the routine, I'm finding it more difficult to get/maintain solid erections during edging. Is this normal?

I incorporated kegels into my reverse kegels routine a couple days ago. I'm thinking fatigue might come into play. Alternatively, it could be that I am effectively reverse kegeling, which stops me from getting fully erect.

When I do find that I get fully erect, I have to take things very slowly or I go from not fully erect to PONR quickly. I'm under the impression this is bad and we want to practice edging at full erection.

My questions:

1) Is it normal to find it more difficult to get and maintain a solid erection during edging after about a week of training? What can I do to fix this?

2) When I try to rub the head of my penis, sometimes the urge to IK "overcomes" the RK hold and I IK. Is this normal at the beginning? (meaning, do I just need to keep kegeling/reverse kegeling and those muscles will strengthen/loosen to the point where I won't have this issue)?

3) Should I be edging at less than a full erection?

[Kipper905 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kipper905]

Hey guys. After last nights successful 4th edging session, I have an update on my just completed 5th. It is both good and bad.

Bad in that I only lasted half of my 20 minutes, but the good totally outweighs the bad.

The good being I reached plateau again. But this time about 5x the intensity and took half the time to reach! I followed ammonite's advice on not chasing the plateau, and as far as I was concerned, in my mind, last nights plateau never occurred. Today was a new day. Everything went smooth into the plateau but was not prepared for the intensity of this one.

What let me down was confusion. Due to it being more intense I was unsure whether or not on fact it was plateau or I was actually going to cum, as usually is cum at this point and my orgasms never feel this good. This threw my concentration off as literally the pleasure was like nothing I've felt ever! Seriously! I tried to hold it but due to the loss in concentration, I came.

But I'm happy. This was a good lesson. I now know what a good plateau feels like and have more trust in myself not to cum and to try and hold it. I have much practice left but find myself getting much better at every aspect of edging. And the only IK I felt this time was when I came, so they should slowly be phasing out too.

I won't bore you with an update of every session, but will let you guys know of the important stuff. And thanks again to ammonite for the best advice!