Edging For Premature Ejaculation

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Ammonite or anyone else,

After about a week on the routine, I'm finding it more difficult to get/maintain solid erections during edging. Is this normal?

I incorporated kegels into my reverse kegels routine a couple days ago. I'm thinking fatigue might come into play. Alternatively, it could be that I am effectively reverse kegeling, which stops me from getting fully erect.

When I do find that I get fully erect, I have to take things very slowly or I go from not fully erect to PONR quickly. I'm under the impression this is bad and we want to practice edging at full erection.

My questions:

1) Is it normal to find it more difficult to get and maintain a solid erection during edging after about a week of training? What can I do to fix this?

2) When I try to rub the head of my penis, sometimes the urge to IK "overcomes" the RK hold and I IK. Is this normal at the beginning? (meaning, do I just need to keep kegeling/reverse kegeling and those muscles will strengthen/loosen to the point where I won't have this issue)?

3) Should I be edging at less than a full erection?

1) I'm afraid I can't answer any questions about erection loss, because I did pretty much exactly what I posted here and didn't experience any issues, sorry. The standard advice though would be to do more kegels.

2) Stimulation of the head can cause IK to override RK even in those more advanced. It is by far the most difficult area, though can be dealt with by further training. The method I described a few posts back seems to work well. (Hard RK whilst rubbing/touching the spot)

3) A full erection would be the goal, but is not a must have, especially in the beginning when eliminating IK is the goal. Later on, when going for plateau, I can't see you progressing much without a full erection. Overtime you will probably be able to get harder and have more control. For now, just work with what you have.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Kipper, your progress has been absolutely outstanding, well done. The reason for this is entirely physiological; you have excellent control of your thoughts and have managed to get into the right mindset really quickly, far better than I have.

I'm glad you aren't worrying about the mistake, as you said it is a lesson to learn from and you can still take positives away from the session as well. Again, a fantastic example of your attitude.

Once you gain more experience in plateau and begin to understand your body more, you will be able to make plateau far more intense anyway. With practice, it is possible to push your plateau right up to the border with orgasm, so that it is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. The plateau phase, if managed correctly has a tendency to run into soft wave orgasms. However, doing any of this requires enormous amounts of self control, and even after all the experience I have, I have only managed to pull this off on a few occasions.

I also avoid taking my plateau too high deliberately as well, because I find if I do it too often, I become dissatisfied with regular plateau. This makes me start aiming for the higher plateau, so my session has become goal orientated and thus probably a frustrating failure. However, your strong mindset may allow you to have more success than me on this front.

Either way, your posts are not boring, in fact they are inspiring so please continue to write down your experiences.

[Kipper905 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kipper905]

Kipper, your progress has been absolutely outstanding, well done. The reason for this is entirely physiological; you have excellent control of your thoughts and have managed to get into the right mindset really quickly, far better than I have.

I'm glad you aren't worrying about the mistake, as you said it is a lesson to learn from and you can still take positives away from the session as well. Again, a fantastic example of your attitude.

Once you gain more experience in plateau and begin to understand your body more, you will be able to make plateau far more intense anyway. With practice, it is possible to push your plateau right up to the border with orgasm, so that it is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. The plateau phase, if managed correctly has a tendency to run into soft wave orgasms. However, doing any of this requires enormous amounts of self control, and even after all the experience I have, I have only managed to pull this off on a few occasions.

I also avoid taking my plateau too high deliberately as well, because I find if I do it too often, I become dissatisfied with regular plateau. This makes me start aiming for the higher plateau, so my session has become goal orientated and thus probably a frustrating failure. However, your strong mindset may allow you to have more success than me on this front.

Either way, your posts are not boring, in fact they are inspiring so please continue to write down your experiences.

I'm glad that you find my posts inspiring, and hopefully others do too.

I had my 6th last night, which was the same as my 5th. Lasted the same amount of time, hardly any IK's to speak of and reached plateau around the same time too.

Again, I put all the other progress out of my mind and started from scratch. The plateau was just as intense this time, but without the confusion of what was happening like last time. It was more of a battle with the body at this stage to fight that barrier between pleasure and orgasm. I lost this time lol but that was because I did not know how far I could push myself. But knowing my limits now can help me next time as I'll know to back off and go slower, and if I lose plateau and have to try and regain like the first time I reached it then so be it, as when I started this, as you said before, plateau is the goal but not THE goal, I always aim to fight off the IK's and orgasm and last the entire session without cumming.

But whenever I don't reach that goal, I don't take it as a negative, I simply use it as a guide to better myself for the next time. I don't think I could be negative about it seeing how far I've come in such little time as I was expecting to be weeks into it before even coming close to plateau, so I'm happy

[watson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close watson]

Hi ammonite. awesome post. plz help me here. i have been doing 30min edging sessions and find lots of iks. im trying to focus on these iks to reduce them, sometimes im able to do it and sometimes i fail. during my edging session i cannot control iks with reverse kegel when im stroking, i have to stop the stroking then do reverse kegel and it helps me only a bit. i hv recently started RK routine so will i be able to do RK while stroking?
Thanks in advance.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Hi ammonite. awesome post. plz help me here. i have been doing 30min edging sessions and find lots of iks. im trying to focus on these iks to reduce them, sometimes im able to do it and sometimes i fail. during my edging session i cannot control iks with reverse kegel when im stroking, i have to stop the stroking then do reverse kegel and it helps me only a bit. i hv recently started RK routine so will i be able to do RK while stroking?
Thanks in advance.

In the beginning, you should take heart from even the slightest success such as you have noted. This is because the first few steps are often the hardest as you are changing a habit (masturbation) that you've had for years. If you continue edging and RK there's no reason why you shouldn't make further improvements with time. RK isolation/strength in particular improves with practice which will enable you to stop more IK.

[watson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close watson]

I started very light touches before edging session and it seems i hv controlled about 30% ok IKS. Im happy coz i was having very tough time with IKs, they would happen even if my thing was soft. So about 5 minutes of light touches on the glans, frenelum and shaft and focusing not to involuntary kegel im now able to control about 30% of IKs just in two days. As ammonite stated things get easier with practice, and its getting easier for me. Will report back after further improvements.

[gbb011 Member Find all posts View Profile Close gbb011]

Ammonite, I wanted to thank you for replying to us noobs in this thread.

While there is a lot of general information in the OP and other similar threads in the forum, I feel like we have lots of "specific to me" questions and you're really making me feel much more comfortable with my progress by addressing all my concerns.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Thank you for your kind words, I do my best to help. With that being said though, if anyone else feels like they can answer a question posted here, go ahead! The experience of the whole community will be much better than just mine. Any opinions are welcome, often there is no right or wrong answer.

[watson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close watson]

Hi ammonite. now that i have controlled my iks to some extent im now having another problem while edging. while stroking when i pass beyond 6-8 minutes i feel that my pelvis becomes tight. while stroking i cannot do reverse kegel to deal with tight pelvis all i have to do is stop stroking. the moment i stop stroking pelvic drops. so does it mean i still have to work harder on reverse kegel routine coz i have read a lot of people say they hold a long rk while edging.

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Hi ammonite. now that i have controlled my iks to some extent im now having another problem while edging. while stroking when i pass beyond 6-8 minutes i feel that my pelvis becomes tight. while stroking i cannot do reverse kegel to deal with tight pelvis all i have to do is stop stroking. the moment i stop stroking pelvic drops. so does it mean i still have to work harder on reverse kegel routine coz i have read a lot of people say they hold a long rk while edging.

I am not quite sure what to advise to be honest. You may want to try some deep squat and yoga targeting the pelvic floor to try and loosen it up if RK aren't working. Continuing the RK routine may help loosen it off over time.

[Tow Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tow]

Sorry, if it has already been asked, but I can't read through 21 pages.^^

I can handle the physical stimulation pretty well, iks don't happen or are very light (determining a certain tempo of stimulation, but even glans stimulation doesn't make problems) My problems origin now from mental stimulation aka imagination. I just get worked up way too fast what translates too big arousal and iks. How do I get my mind relaxed or more used to imagination? Sex scenes, porn etc. put my mind even more overdrive. I don't crave porn but when I see it it gets my mind into overdrive. I am off porn, that's no problem but I want my mind to relax too.^^

[ammonite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ammonite]

Sorry, if it has already been asked, but I can't read through 21 pages.^^

I can handle the physical stimulation pretty well, iks don't happen or are very light (determining a certain tempo of stimulation, but even glans stimulation doesn't make problems) My problems origin now from mental stimulation aka imagination. I just get worked up way too fast what translates too big arousal and iks. How do I get my mind relaxed or more used to imagination? Sex scenes, porn etc. put my mind even more overdrive. I don't crave porn but when I see it it gets my mind into overdrive. I am off porn, that's no problem but I want my mind to relax too.^^

To a large extent, tacking the psychological side must be done by oneself, but I will offer what suggestions come to mind.

If you are getting worked up too fast then you need to practice the opposite to achieve progress. When edging, build a very slow fantasy in your head. Instead of thinking about sex, think about kissing. Resist the urge in your mind to jump straight to the most arousing part, and instead try something that you can control.

Also, the classic relaxation techniques to take your mind off it may help you relax and last a bit longer when actually having sex. Think about sport, do maths, anything which stops you thinking "oh my god this is so hot, I'm going to cum soon". Once you think that, it will happen. If you can avoid thinking that, both consciously and subconsciously, then you will last longer automatically.

The whole problem behind over-arousal boils down to being too focused on orgasm. Even just a quick thought of cumming will be enough to send someone over the edge. You need to completely forget about orgasm and ejaculation, pretend they don't exist while you are edging. It won't be easy, as years of premature ejaculations means that any sort of sexual stimulation is linked to orgasm (see the link to the scientific theory behind plateau edging, in the original post).

[Willfred Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Willfred]

Hi,
First of all, sorry for any grammar misspelling, english is not my mother language.
Im new to the forum and i've been reading it a lot for the past month.
i've tried a couple of things but haven't got any results yet.
I know the answer lies in a good edging routine, reverse kegels and good breathing, but
I'm having a really difficult time while trying to edge, due to the fact that i can't keep an erection only by imagination for a long period. I quited porn about 2 months ago and i've been consistently having sex with my gf (without much success).
Could anyone please give me any advice? im desperate, i just want to please my girl the way she deserves it.
feel free to pm me or anything, any help is really appreciated.

[gettingb Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gettingb]

Great thread, I think I have a big problem with this. I just edge to stay in the 'low zone' before that plateau. It doesn't really feel that pleasurable just like I am yanking on my dick and when I yank too fast the PONR comes on.
I really relate to that yellow line on the graph, a really short fast rise followed by a fast fall to no arousal and erection. That's exactly what's happened to me. And the few times when I have managed to stay in the plateau for some minutes I have kept my erection afterwards.
So I need to focus on edging to keep in that 'zone of pleasure' where it actually feels good. I need to understand that feeling good doesn't have to mean the PONR shooting up straight away.

[gettingb Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gettingb]

I realise now that I have just been doing the first 2 steps for fucking years. IK control and arousal control. As soon as I start feeling pleasure my mind associates this with PONR. I'm just wanking away without feeling any pleasure from it. I need to extent that plateau phase as long as possible. This makes total sense.