Dandy1 Progress Log

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

11/24/2020

Got a new cylinder with thinner girth. 1.5 in instead of 2 in. But the frustrating thing is it is still maybe a little too large. I hate being so thin. I also used a cock ring during pumping.

5 min warm up with heating pad
5 min pump 5Hg
5 min super slow jelq and kegels/reverse kegel circuit
5 min pump 5 Hg
5 min super slow jelq and kegels/reverse kegel circuit
5 min pump 5 Hg
10 min edging - accidental cumshot at 10 min, was trying for 20 min.

I think this week I've learned something. I don't believe I can do PE and be free of porn. It's a huge trigger. I'm going to take another 6 weeks off. I'm struggling. I need the headspace.

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

1/7/2021

I find myself so free without the time I used to spend on PE, but also so frustrated with my size. Just needed to put my thoughts down. I want to be larger, but I can't sacrifice the time to do the PE work that it would take to be bigger.

I just need a separate place away from home to do PE, but that isn't doable.

Dan

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

1/8/2021
stealth innerwear and full corkscrew for 3.5 hours

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

Feeling down about my size and my ED. It’s entirely psychological ED. Found a new site called mojomen.com which I’m loving. And I’m really trying to learn to like me for me. But I’m constantly reminded that I’m small. Starting therapy again this month. I need to find a healthy relationship with my penis before I jump
Back into PE immediately. Working through that.

[Cpt. Jean-Luc Dickhard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cpt. Jean-Luc Dickhard]

Don't think I've seen your log before Dandy. But you're putting in the thought and effort - when you're on, I know you've have some periods off. So I hope you can get the results you want.

We're in the same ballpark of size I think - my MEG is marginally higher but your BPEL is higher, so overall we must be in the same sort of volume. So I will watch with interest.

What does your wife think of your PE endeavours? Mine thinks the whole thing is stupid, I wonder if she thinks it's some sort of insult to her? But she would genuinely I rather forget all about it, so I don't usually mention it to her. I still can't avoid the feeling that she would prefer it if I was larger, but yea if it was up to her I would've thrown PE in the bin long ago!

All the best with it

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

Don't think I've seen your log before Dandy. But you're putting in the thought and effort - when you're on, I know you've have some periods off. So I hope you can get the results you want.

We're in the same ballpark of size I think - my MEG is marginally higher but your BPEL is higher, so overall we must be in the same sort of volume. So I will watch with interest.

What does your wife think of your PE endeavours? Mine thinks the whole thing is stupid, I wonder if she thinks it's some sort of insult to her? But she would genuinely I rather forget all about it, so I don't usually mention it to her. I still can't avoid the feeling that she would prefer it if I was larger, but yea if it was up to her I would've thrown PE in the bin long ago!

All the best with it

Thanks for commenting! My wife doesn’t really know. I mean I told her about it but I think she doesn’t really know what it is. She told me that she wished I were bigger so that hurt a lot. But I know that she also doesn’t think it’s possible to change. She’d probably just think I was jerking off all the time. There’s a lot of psychology to work through there because I get really hard when I’m alone but with her all I can think of is that she wished I were bigger. And kills my erection now. We’re working through it

However, I am inconsistent and that is because I tend to obsess and then I cause massive bouts of anxiety about my penis size. Sometimes it is better to just take a break and focus on other stuff.

Honestly though. I’m so glad we’re in the same bit and that you took the time to comment. Makes me feel supported.

I’ll check out your log too

[Cpt. Jean-Luc Dickhard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cpt. Jean-Luc Dickhard]

Yea it's unfortunate she said that cos I can see how it would bother you. Though I guess you asked rather than she just came out with it one day?
And if one asks, you've got to be willing to hear whatever answer comes. I'm sure none of us would want a wife who would lie to our face so at least that's one positive I guess, you know you have an honest wife which is definitely a good thing.
And she married you and has stayed married to you, so it's obviously not that your size is a deal-breaker to her.
You obviously have enough other qualities that matter more to her than a huge dong, which is good. And tbh I think most women wouldn't rank dicksize as the most important aspect of a man when considering a long-term partner. I think us men tend to fixate on it far more than women do.

You know thinking about it I wonder if her answer might've had a bit of "yes I wish you were bigger.... BECAUSE it would make you happier" if your own worries are causing you psychological problems and for sex to fail when you two try it.
So I hope you can come to a better happier sort of acceptance of yourself, albeit as you try to change via PE. because I think PE for anyone will need to be a long-term thing, at least many months most likely years. So yes I do hope you can find some more peace with yourself before you achieve PE goals. Because the latter won't come quickly and the former is far more important

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

Yea it's unfortunate she said that cos I can see how it would bother you. Though I guess you asked rather than she just came out with it one day?
And if one asks, you've got to be willing to hear whatever answer comes. I'm sure none of us would want a wife who would lie to our face so at least that's one positive I guess, you know you have an honest wife which is definitely a good thing.
And she married you and has stayed married to you, so it's obviously not that your size is a deal-breaker to her.
You obviously have enough other qualities that matter more to her than a huge dong, which is good. And tbh I think most women wouldn't rank dicksize as the most important aspect of a man when considering a long-term partner. I think us men tend to fixate on it far more than women do.

You know thinking about it I wonder if her answer might've had a bit of "yes I wish you were bigger.... BECAUSE it would make you happier" if your own worries are causing you psychological problems and for sex to fail when you two try it.
So I hope you can come to a better happier sort of acceptance of yourself, albeit as you try to change via PE. because I think PE for anyone will need to be a long-term thing, at least many months most likely years. So yes I do hope you can find some more peace with yourself before you achieve PE goals. Because the latter won't come quickly and the former is far more important

I asked why she had no interest in sex. She just came out with, "You're too small. It doesn't work for me." She felt terrible saying it because she knows it hurts. But at least she's honest. We weren't fighting or anything. She had no reason to try to hurt me. I think she just felt like being honest was the best option in that moment. I wouldn't want her to just keep it in and always be unfulfilled, so I have to accept and move on. I'm trying to incorporate a bunch of oral and fingering and all the ways that I can pleasure her in other ways. I'm having to really be adult about this. It's not awesome, but it just is what it is.

You're right. I must learn to accept myself. Working on it. I believe it is possible.

Thanks man.

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

Just wanted to play around with the bathmate and a cockring. I spent some time in the hot tub.

5 min warm up
3x5 min bathmate wearing a cockring.

Kept wearing the cockring for a few hours until bed. I think that increased edema a bit too much.

Still not sure that I'm ready for regular PE. Just wanted it tonight. We'll see what's next.

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

2/18/2021
5 min warmup in hot tub
3x5 min bathmate in hot tub
4 hours in stealth with corkscrew
1 hour testicle stretcher

Really great flaccid hang after

2/19/2021
4 hours in extender
Tried to clamp but couldn’t get hard enough.
Just jerked off with a semi and called it a night

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

Holy shit. I went into therapy today and came out an absolute fucking mess. I am in no state to take on this effort. I’m walking away for a while. I can always come back to this in the future. I’m ok with it for now

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

This is a very hard week. I’m waking up every morning remembering more trauma. Writing it down. Saving it for therapy. I also find myself very angry, irritated, short tempered.

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

3/1/2021
Found myself wanting to try the total man ultimate routine. It has a lot of compression hanging. That’s interesting to me. Just as an experiment I decided to try the first workout. I basically did 1/3 of it in about an hour. PE takes so long. I don’t have the time. I recognize that if it were important I’d make the time. I get that. But there is no way that I could do that stealth. No way.

Going back into therapy today. Not looking forward to it.

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

3/1/2021
Total man ultimate routine

Warm up (10 min)
5 min jelqs at 50% with 5 second strokes
Stretch out, up, down, left, right, and out again 30 sec each
2 min heating pad

15 min compression hanging 4lbs
5 min jelqs at 70% with 3 second strokes

Clamping 5 min
Didn’t work out well EQ was shit
Hanging takes way too long

I’m going for a more passive PE routine

[dandy1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dandy1]

3/2/2021
Clamping 10 min
Extender 4 hours
Hot tub and stealth innerwear the rest of the night