Becoming a better man

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

sounds like a great plan and Im on a very simular one myself, good luck man

Thankfully I have a wife who is the opposite of a size queen and couldn't care less how long I last. I'm doing this for self-confidence. It's kind of like karate....but for my dick.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Which texture do you have bautista?

The STU one. I think the whole process of warming it up, lubing it up and making sure I have enough alone time to enjoy it kind of kills the mood for me. I am also a little insecure about it (wife doesn't know I have it), so it adds a layer of stress I would like to eliminate. Also keeping track of the clock can also kill the mood.

I see you've gained 24% volume. I checked and my "modest" goal is to improve mine by a mere 46%. How long did that take you?

I feel like I have should have no problem sticking to the JP90. I think I may as well just keep doing it until I see no more returns, and then do it to maintain. I mean all it takes is 5-10 minutes before I shower each day. And the edging is fun.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Quality PE session this morning, then a killer edge session tonight.

I feel like I am maintaining the proper EQ to jelq effectively w/o porn. For some odd reason I also have to do it out of the shower. The EQ isn't there in the shower....weird.

In an effort to maintain consistent real-life (wife) EQ I am going to edge a hell of a lot more, and much less ejaculation. I just had a good 30-35 minute session in which I got to PONR 3 times and didn't ejaculate at all. I had a extremely high EQ the entire time, and it was quite a bit of fun. In the past I would have worked in 3 ejaculations given that time frame, with a total of about 6 minutes of MB and maybe hit a 9 EQ for a total of 2 minutes of it. Also my cumshots would all be pretty lousy. I'd say 30+ minutes at a 9 and no shots should do me some good. It sure as hell feels better confidence-wise.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Man, yesterday was a roller coaster. In the morning I found out wife's brother is getting a divorce. My wife was pretty distraught, but had to go out for a bit. So I PEd and edged for like 25 minutes and felt more in control of my arousal than ever before. I did ejaculate though because I think it's been a couple days.

Then I had a three hour exam in applied math...holy hell for whatever reason I oozed confidence on that thing. I really think PE and edging makes me feel confident. I don't know why, but feeling more in control of something I have never felt control over before has me feeling different and I like it. There were two questions on the exam we never did in class or covered, which were to really separate the As from the Bs. I had time, so I derived solution techniques. They are probably wrong, but most of the time if you just get AN answer you're halfway to full credit.

Then the nighttime came around, and I knew there was little chance of sex with the mood the wife was in, so then I drank too many beers. I reasoned with myself that it was a stress relief, but I think I'm lying to myself. I don't want to let that happen again. Finishing the class alone was a stress relief, and I shouldn't have used alcohol to take me away from that reality.

This weekend is a romantic get-away with the wife. I'm going to try to edge today if I get the chance and abstain from alcohol.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

The weekdays on and weekends off is going well. It's good because I don't have to keep track of anything.

I had a real nice night with the wife last night. I made her my focus and not my dick and I sprung an extremely high EQ. I could tell she was even playfully checking it out, it was kind of fun. She had her hands and mouth all over it, and really paid attention to it. I was probably a 9 EQ the entire time of the combined half hour of foreplay and sex.

PE & edging = huge confidence boost.

Even watching pornos while I edge help confidence. It's weird watching an entire porno or two and not cumming.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

The romantic getaway also went well. I had a little anxiety over my fellow at times, but it wasn't debilitating. Doing the JP90 has me feeling a bit more "showy", so it was pretty fun hopping in the shower before sex. We had tons of foreplay which was fun. My EQ was pretty quality too, I'd say an 8/10. Towards the end of getting head though she told me it had grown too big for her to continue with her mouth. At that point, I suspect a 10/10. She hopped on me and rubbed herself up and down my shaft getting off for a little while.

By that time I had returned to an 8/10 EQ, but plenty hard enough for quality penetration. I knew I wasn't going to last long, but I didn't terribly care because she had already gotten off twice. I lasted better than expected...maybe 5 minutes. I still wish I would have lasted longer.

So, my goals are shifting. I feel like the JP90 and edging have done miracles for my confidence and my EQ. I am springing immediately for foreplay and/or sex without much work up. I'm not 10/10s all the time at the moment, but I am beginning to realize an 8/10 is good enough.

My dick definitely shows better now too. It's fun when the wife is playful with it checking it out. It may not be any bigger, but the consistent hard-on makes it act a lot bigger.

My new goal is bedroom stamina. If I had to guess my average now I'd say 5 minutes. I'd like to bump that up to 10. I think if we skipped the grinding it would prob go up, bc I definitely kegel then, but I don't see that going away. For that reason I'd still like to add a couple minutes.

I used to be a minute man, but I have gone to 5 minutes or sometimes longer by trying to avoid kegels and RKs during penetration. I have definitely reached a plateau with that method.

Feeling confident about my EQ I am going to begin stamina work. The wife has her period this week, so I think it's good timing to start some kind of training for that.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

My first immediate change is going to be again in how I masturbate. Currently I practice edging and staying at or near a 9 as long as possible. Staying at a 9 with a horned up chick is a completely different story. For the next couple weeks I am going to practice trying to stay at a 7. And rather then edge I am going to do this trying to avoid a 9. Once I reach a 9 I am going to cease and resume the next day. I'm not sure how this will effect PE, but whatever.

Usually I get to this 9 anywhere from 5-10 minutes. I'm going to work on putting that off.

EDIT: I am also going to try to mix in more RKs too. It's my understanding they are effective going from an 9 to a 7. I avoided them in the past though because going from a 6 to a 4 would be worse than prem ejac.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Solid PE session today. I really ate poorly over the weekend, so I was worried about EQ w/o PEing w/ porn and I'd say I was a solid 50% the entire time. I planned to edge, or as I said above do some work with arousal control afterwards for fun, but I just didn't have the energy. I decided rather than force it, wait until I felt like it.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Interesting note. I went to edge tonight laying in bed, rather than the bathroom, and I lasted a fraction of the time I usually do. I also could not come back from PONR, which I usually do 2 or 3 times standing.

I almost exclusively have sex in the bed, so time shift my "work" area for edging and ballooning. Of course I last longer in the bathroom...bathrooms are gross.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Not much to report today. I am adding in a legit k/rk work out. Currently my kegels are strong, so I'm going to just do 2 minutes a day, and ten quick ones whenever I think about it. My RKs I feel are incredibly week. I am going to do 5 minutes with them.

In my first workout I found if I focus my breath on them I can do a nice one with each inhale. This might be a good pattern for sex too. I could try to apply it when my arousal gets up to an 8.

Then I have a basic PE session, and not sure if I'll edge or balloon tonight. I may take the night off that and play some video games.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

A little progress made. I felt last night as if I've been hanging great, so I took a flaccid measurement. Pulled out, and not stretched it was 4-3/8". Before the return it was under 4" stretched.

I've also got a good hang now about 85% of the time which is waaaaaay up.

So, flaccid +.375" in 3 weeks, but it feels twice the size ;-)

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Argh, day 20 and I had a moment of weakness. Planning to edge late at night, I edged once around the 8 or 9 minute mark and I worked myself back up too quickly and ejaced to porn. I didn't even have a good erection, nor was I horny.

I need to really work on following my feelings. If I don't feel horny, but want to look at porn and edge I should pass. I am going to make a point to continue PE each weekday, but I am no longer going to follow any particular edging schedule. If I spring random wood, and I have the time I'll do it. No longer am I going to force it.

I must say it's funny how I've ejaculated probably 10 or 12 times in the last 20 days, and it used to probably be about 40 times in that same time span.

Today I'm going to try and take some measurements if I get the feeling. I don't expect much though due to the poor discipline last night.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

With all that said in the previous post I forced it post PE to try and get some measurements. I really need to learn more discipline and patience.
I didn't get the greatest wood but enough to get some measurements.

BPEL: 5.625" this kind of depends on the angle I look down at, but I went with the smaller measurement.

MSEG: 4.625". this is hard for me to get at a high EQ.

That's a 13.2% volume increase since I began, but I am convinced with discipline I could do better.

I am really going to try to focus on some better habits. I need to ejaculate by myself much less often. I am going to actually try to only do it once or twice while the wife is on her period. The rest of the time have enough sex to keep my pipes clean. This plan will take some easing into, but I did go from 2x a day to .5x a day so that's already good improvements.

Also, I have gained 1 lb since beginning this. I blame some of that on my trip, but let's be honest that was 2 nights out of 21. No excuses.

I am also going to try to use all my will power to not take measurements until the 90 days are over. I can already feel benefits from following an EQ routine, and I think following it better will yield much better EQ and much better results.

For the sake of goals, I have set my 90-day goal to 6" x 4.75". And a 1-year goal of 6.5" x 5".

Ohh, and weight goals too, of 90-days down 20 lb to 210, and 1 -year another 20 to 190. This will make it look way bigger even if I don't reach my PE goals.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

Two many beers last night, just not feeling it today. I'm going to take my own advice and listen to my physical indicators. Today is a day off, no forcing it.

I'll just work on rest and hydration and solid diet habits.

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

I'm having a very confidence healthy weekend so far. I have done a good job resisting ejac* during mb and my confidence is feeling it. I even took a failure risk last night I normally never take, got shot down, and guess what....it's okay. I have major fear of failure.

*I did last night after three days of edging

Today, I still had a decent hang despite getting off last night. I also got in 20 minutes of edging w/ tons of good rk work in. Before I could probably do about 1 or 2 quick contractions every minute or so, I am learning how often they need to be done to control arousal. Pretty often.

I do notice my confidence is definitely up. I am hitting up the gym today, then a party later. I should have plenty of chances to feel out this confidence.

My goals today are eye contact and charm. (my two biggest weaknesses)