The Official Hard Flaccid Recovery Thread

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Guys, please ignore this post by MikeCares. He is new here and already thinks he knows it better than all the others. Please stick to the posts by VoodooChild for the real instructions on how to get better.

@MikeCares Please keep reading this forum, the cause for HardFlaccid and how to get rid of it is already clear. No need to speculate and confuse new readers. The most important thing for you is to CALM DOWN.

The posts here are all geared towards helping others. You may find voodoo ( voodoochild ) advice to be the best, others have not been successful with it.

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

There actually is a very clear way out of all this. It's just not easy to understand how or why it's the clear way because it does not fit with our typical way of viewing medicine and healing. The problem is, when you are new to the condition of hard flaccid and general sexual dysfunction (and it's many physical/mental/emotional manifestations) you will "rationalize" your way out of the advice that I (and others with years of experience and recovery behind them) have given because you will continue looking for a more materialistic "western" style cure.

I did the same thing. It's okay. But I'm telling you, the sooner you can just let down the guards of your ego and trust in what we are saying, the sooner you will come to understand the true path out of all this.

I had to read many many books and watch many films on various aspects of healing, neuroscience, and trauma before I could begin to understand what had been happening to my body/mind and why this had become a chronic disorder for over a decade of my life. I also had to live in pain for a long time before I was willing to let go of my ego. So for some of you, you might have to have this for 10 years. I hate to say it but if you find that you can't open up to these things, that's probably your path to suffer until you break down at a core spiritual level. That's why I hope you can just start doing TRE, yoga nidra, Restorative Exercise, healthier diet, and positive mindfulness geared toward a reality free of any attachment to thought surrounding "sexual problems" or "masculine inferiority" issues. This will dissipate the problems quicker than any other path (as it addresses every level: muscular, nervous system, neurological fear wired pathways, and cellular health).

Here's the first thing you need to understand about your sexual functioning: it will not work if your head is getting in the way. PERIOD. You could be a very healthy male but if something stressful is going on in your life and you are not able to let it go once in the bedroom and be present in your body's sexuality, you will not get hard. PERIOD. Losing sexual health is very traumatic. Which is why this first point is likely going to be the most difficult for you to practice. You gotta get your head out of this.

The second thing you need to understand is that you are going to be okay. The body/mind is capable of tremendous healing when put in the right state. You are about to learn some very powerful healing modalities: TRE, yoga nidra, restorative exercise, healthy diet, and mindfulness. Having this faith will allow you to pursue the necessary healing without doing so in a fearful fashion. You just do the work but you don't think about the work or the results or whether or not it is making a difference and on and on and on. All those types of thoughts are coming from this place of fear that you are literally attached to and it manifests as OCD, anxiety, worry, depression, etc...not to mention the physical manifestations of fear in the body which you should realize CAUSES a retraction of blood flow to the reproductive organs, a tightening of the psoas muscle and pelvic floor, AND a rise in cortisol which inherently LOWERS testosterone. It basically makes it so it is impossible to get fully and naturally aroused. If you do not become aware of the fear within you and the manifestations listed above, you will be chasing a carrot on a string for a long time.

Ultimately you can get in touch with this place of fear that lives within you via these various healing modalities and moment to moment mindfulness. Once you are aware of the difference of a truly calm inner state vs an agitated inner state (which most people DO NOT understand in our modern society so you have to learn...it's not your fault...this is why this problem is a gift in the end), you can begin to reshape your reality and deal with it in a productive and healing manner. Once you have addressed the various manifestations of the fear from an accepting point of view, over and over, you essentially get in touch with the root of the problems and everything begins to unravel. You will be more present and calm in your body/mind and living in a reality you intentionally created that is free of "sexual problems." You may have other problems to attend to in your life at that point but you will no longer be perpetuating the problem of "sexual dysfunction" in your mind or body. This is what you need to return to in order to be fully sexually healthy again.

The sooner you do this the better. The longer you wait, the deeper the neurological pathways become engrained and the harder it is to have awareness over them and therefore it is difficult to reverse them. This is science. None of this is "hoodoo". It's all tied together. Read the books I have read and you will know why I emphasize these things.

A sexually dominant male does not question his ability in the bedroom. He has just developed a lot of confidence over time and positive encounters. Confidence is critical when it comes to sexuality. CRITICAL. Because it's the only thing that allows you to be fully in the moment, put everything aside, be in tune with your body and its core instincts, and ravish the beautiful girl in front of you. You HAVE to be confident to have good sex. Sexuality comes from the instinctual parts of our brain. Having a traumatic experience like losing your sexual function causes a dissociation to happen where you no longer are able to get in touch with your instincts because you are too busy thinking about it all in the neocortex. That's why it takes time for a lot of guys to finally have good sex with their partners. They are too nervous in the beginning because they are thinking too much about whatever it might be, "whether they will perform", "whether it will be good enough", "what the girl will think" etc. If they knew how to bypass all that mental junk (which is what I'm trying to get you to learn...it's a matter of practicing presence) then they would settle into the instinctual parts of their brain which would then be like "oh hell yea lets do this! Let's make babies!"

Don't confuse failed sex with you "having a problem." THIS IS NORMAL (especially in todays society more than ever). But it doesn't mean there aren't things you can do to help.Just don't blow it out of proportion because that will just give your neocortex more fuel for the burning (hence more thinking, hence more dissociation from your instinctual self).

What I am telling you is that you MUST find this attitude and perspective shift despite the evidence of being "not sexually dominant." It seems counter intuitive but so long as you wait to have a raging boner again while you sit around and think all the time about it, IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. You have to get the negative sexual identity out of your system. This takes moment to moment mindfulness and use of mantra or positive thoughts, whatever, in order to change your reality. You have to know it in your gut for it to be true. Otherwise every time you talk about or think about or have the opportunity of sex you will be tying it in to your "inferiority" attitude and the natural arousal process WON'T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO PROVE YOU WRONG. Get on with your life, get healthier, and don't look back! You're gonna be okay dude!

SO, in arriving at this forum with an injury or overmasturbation problems or a bad sexual experience or whatever, you now realize that your body is in need of some kind of healing. Yes, I agree. There are physical things going on. You probably need to rest a bit first off since most guys here have been porn users and long time masturbators. That's not going to cure you in itself but it will help with symptoms and recharging your masculinity.

You also probably can't do a proper squat to save your life and you also probably don't hold you pelvis in the proper position. There is probably muscular tension being held all through your body and especially your pelvic floor. This is where restorative exercise will help on the physical level. It's better than any other method I have seen for pelvic floor health.

You have also accrued trauma in the nervous system through the fear of losing your sexuality. It's very traumatic! Humans are out of touch with our natural trauma releasing mechanisms. We forgot how to shake things off and go back to the present moment! Our neo-cortex is too powerful for our own good. It overrides the instinctual brainstem without even knowing it. This is where TRE is going to help you TREMENDOUSLY. It will discharge the nervous system of all the excess tension you carry. This takes time but you will notice changes in you life within months of practicing 2-3 times per week. You will become a much much much more grounded human being. It will make you realize how ungrounded you actually are. And by grounded I mean In touch with your instincts and living fully in the present moment more and more. Remember your sexuality is rooted in your instinctual self...not your "thinking" self (neo-cortex). Our sexual intelligence was functioning superbly far before our neo-cortex had even begun to form...evolutionarily speaking. You can never think your way into great sex or the perfect arousal. You can only feel your way there through your instincts. Through your body. Through being GROUNDED in the moment. (Yes, fantasizing seems like thought, but it's thought driven by instincts. You are putting all else out of your mind in order to dive into fantasizing about some beautiful women. Don't confuse what I mean by "thinking self". I'm saying that essentially you have developed or are beginning to develop an association with a "thinking self" that is cutting you off from your natural sexual functioning)

The other thing you need is body awareness which yoga nidra is incredible for developing. You need to be able to feel your inner presence throughout the day so you can understand what things trigger uneasiness within your body/mind. This is another way if getting in touch with your instinctual reptilian brain. "Waking The Tiger" by Peter Levine describes this process beautifully. It is then that you have the chance to become more conscious and address your problems when they arise rather than walking around like a chicken with its head cut off. You don't even realize how much you are running from unconsciously. And this running is causing physical manifestations in your body, PARTICULARLY in your reproductive and hormonal systems!! Get grounded! Learn to feel the sensations in your body all throughout. If you do this in a gentle and non-judgemental, non-reactional way, you will literally find that through this awareness the dissonance you feel in your body is allowed to dissipate, transform, and eventually leave you alone to be at peace again. The longer you wait to address these things, the more difficult it will be to allow yourself to feel them. You will become very dissociated like I did. It has been quite the journey. Like re-entering the atmosphere so to speak.

Eating a more plant based whole food diet with some healthy supplements like those from The Synergy Company (my personal favorite) can help recharge your system on a cellular level. I didn't even realize how good you can feel until I began taking my diet more seriously. Don't get obsessive but DO TRY TO LEARN. It will help give your body the fuel it needs to be at the top of its game.

So there you have it: TRE, restorative exercise (hit up David McCoid via freedomfrompelvicpain), yoga nidra, healthier diet, mindfulness toward a reality free of attachment to "sexual problems," get a grip on porn use and masturbation addictions, stop abusing drugs and alcohol if you do, and yea that's about it. You're gonna be fine fellas!!! I don't care how bad you think you've got it. I've had a broken, numb, limp, curved, shriveled, painful, deformed, pleasureless reproductive system for half my life and it's fucking working again and only continues to improve the more I live a healthy life free of these deep rooted nervous tensions of fear. Where they come from I don't know. The human organism is very complex. My advice: FIND THE FEAR THEN FEAR NOT. If you don't do this, you will get caught in a mind/body feedback loop and possibly lose a decade of your life to this which is absolutely not necessary.

peace
voodoo

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

My advice: FIND THE FEAR THEN FEAR NOT. If you don't do this, you will get caught in a mind/body feedback loop and possibly lose a decade of your life to this which is absolutely not necessary.

peace
voodoo

This comes first before anything!

[aceshigh1 Member Find all posts View Profile Close aceshigh1]

Awesome post helping me through my flare up haha does any one else here who does tre get a real strong tremor on the side of your pelvic floor/groin area. I get with without fail every time and wondering if this is a true tell take sign that I have chronic tension in my pc/ic muscle. Seems amazingly clever if so, how clever yet simple this natural method is of recovery after trauma!

[cco Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close cco]

Probably the most important post there has ever been on here. To me it says, look, I respect your views but unfortunately they're wrong - do what I say and you'll get better.

It's free advice from someone who's been there and recovered. It's not just healing hard flaccid it's about improving your life. Stop speculating, stop stressing and go and get better.

[mrmiyagi Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmiyagi]

I get that, but even if Voodoo is 100% right, it's a huge pill to swallow...I mean how many injuries require an almost spiritual recovery?

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I get that, but even if Voodoo is 100% right, it's a huge pill to swallow...I mean how many injuries require an almost spiritual recovery?

If the injury is exacerbated by tension caused by stress, then that makes it a bit different than injuries like tears, bruising, etc.

[VoodooChild Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close VoodooChild]

I get that, but even if Voodoo is 100% right, it's a huge pill to swallow...I mean how many injuries require an almost spiritual recovery?

There is only a "spiritual" aspect to this due to the nature of the injury. How many injuries cause such a blow to the mind/ego in terms of one's sense of self? AND then further, how many of those cause a feedback loop where the very trauma and lasting fear directly cause tension in the body at the very location that the trauma/fear surrounds which then just perpetuates the need to fear?

Sexual functioning is a very tender/fragile process in a lot of ways. If the mind somehow gets wrapped up in anxiety every time the subject of sex is at hand, the body cannot respond how it would naturally if the mind was purely enjoying the sensual experience and eroticism of the moment.

Many guys with zero injury to their penis get sexual anxiety and can't perform merely because their thought process is not in line with the arousal process. And they have never even had a traumatic injury experience or whatever.

So then you take a guy with an injury and he's got all this fear and anxiety wrapped around his penis and it's functioning and he just can't get it up for a girl. He thinks it's the injury over and over and his whole ego gets wrecked. So even if the physical heals, it doesn't matter because it won't seem to have healed in his eyes because he's always got tension and HF and has a hard time getting a quality erection with girls or whatever.

This is why it is "spiritual" in nature. But what's so "hoodoo" about having to work on your mind? Yea, our society doesn't talk about it all that much but that shouldn't make it "far out". It's really not. It's a simple process but not easy at first when you have no experience at working with the mind in a conscious and proactive way.

All I can say is if you approach this purely from a physical standpoint you are shooting yourself in the foot and missing a whole aspect of the recovery process. This is a very traumatic thing to go through. The mind needs your help too. Not just your man parts.

Does that make sense?

Voodoo

[Thatbdd Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thatbdd]

Wait, you had/have peyronies voodoochild??

Makes me wonder how many of the guys here actually have that and not hf.

[Thatbdd Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thatbdd]

Just see your thread on battling peyronies pe for 9 year's,

I agree with everything you say here, but if you or us guys in general have actual scar tissue inside the penis that is a huge pill to swallow indeed. The remolding to a smaller, shorter, deformed penis from there once bigger size n strength, that they most likely won't get back to ever agains, is enough to break most any man, hence why they say peyronies is an emotional psychological devastating disorder.

[Hopingforhope Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hopingforhope]

I am scared guys. So I have chronic hard flaccid and have for 2 years. It feels like my bulbocavernosus (or maybe PC muscle) is always thick and in a practically rock-hard state. ALWAYS. Could the reason be scar tissue or can a muscle be so tense in the pelvic floor that it feels thick and hard as a rock at all times??

[cco Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close cco]

Q1) Probably not
Q2) Yes

[Hopingforhope Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hopingforhope]

Q1) Probably not
Q2) Yes

Cco I have read back on the posts and respect your opinion and tone you bring in posting. I appreciate the response.

I just wonder if scar tissue has built because of a muscle strain or some other kind of injury because of masturbating while in a hard flaccid state over time.

I just don't get why even when I feel relaxed and in zen mode mentally... That muscle is still a rock down there!! At my most relaxed even

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Yes the misc!e can feel like a rock. Have you tryed Voodoochilds routine?

[mikecares Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikecares]

Cco I have read back on the posts and respect your opinion and tone you bring in posting. I appreciate the response.

I just wonder if scar tissue has built because of a muscle strain or some other kind of injury because of masturbating while in a hard flaccid state over time.

I just don't get why even when I feel relaxed and in zen mode mentally... That muscle is still a rock down there!! At my most relaxed even

Could be a nerve as well man. Hard to say. Autonomic nerve damage