Young, insecure male.....

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

Hi! I am too shy to ask someone this in person, for fear of them knowing how insecure I am, so I didn't know were else to go other than this forum. This thread is a bit of a tome, and I am sorry in advance, but I did not how to make it more succinct. Haha.

I am in DESPERATE need for the opinions of some intelligent and objective females:

I am a young, insecure man, who, in addition to being fairly inexperienced sexually, (only four partners) has a strong case of penis-envy. Now, I have a statistically COMPLETELY average penis (6.7 bpel, 5.8 nbpel, 5 inches mseg), but can't help but feeling inferior to those lucky guys with big ones. Almost like even though I can have sex with a woman, I can't give her that kind of "ultimate" sex, you know? Like that kind of sex that women go looking for when they are on the prowl and just want a totally satisfying sexual experience. Here's my question: has the best sex of your life been with a man with a big or above average penis?

I know that average sized men can be great in bed, but are big men a bit better? I ask because I have reason to believe my girlfriend has had a few men that were very big, and me being very average, I feel very inadequate, like I can't quite have the same kind of "sex" with her has they did. Notice I say "sex" because I hate to call it love-making....I don't want to make love....I want to F*Ck, you know? I don't want to be the guy she settled for because I am more stable and nice and funny....I want to be the guy that makes her scream with pleasure. I can last for a long time, and she can have three orgasms (maybe fake, although they seem very real) in a row before I finish but I feel like I am excluded from being her "best" sex because of my average size.

I know this is macho and stupid, but I feel like less of a man, because my penis is not big enough to command any attention. I.e. guys with big ones have to be careful because they can cause pain. A woman would never be intimidated by my penis, so I view it as though I am automatically less dominant and manly as the guys sporting the jumbo ones.

Having said all that...my girlfriend is always after me for sex, even when I would be good with watching a movie, so I guess she likes me in that department, but I am still feeling insecure. I wish she had just not talked about her past, cause I never asked. She is young and I think she thought I was more "open minded" than I actually am. Sometimes I can't believe that she would actually want to have sex with me, considering I am probably her smallest partner.

This is my first relationship, so I am having difficulties I have never experienced before. I was not too insecure before, when I was single. In fact, the only reason I have only slept with four women is because I lost my virginity a year ago,(at 22. Late-bloomer) have no social circle to speak of and I work a lot. My success rate with women I like is thus far 100 percent. Any women I have been interested in, I have managed to sleep with, after first-meeting and one date, so getting laid isn't the problem.

I wasn't insecure about my penis-size before I met this girl, because I was very selfish with my first three partners - as long as I got mine I couldn't care less. I know that is a jerk thing to do, but I have changed now. Everything has changed now that I am with this girl. This bloody insecurity....I never knew I had it.

Phew....that felt good to type-out. If you skipped to the end I don't blame you.

So, in summary, can an average cock provide as arousing a sexual experience and as much pleasure as a big cock?

Thanks so much for any and all replies!

P.S. People tell me she loves me. I am new to the concept of love, as I am a standard commitment-phobe, so enlighten me....if you are in love with a guy, does that affect your sexual pleasure? I.e. can you have better orgasms with a man you love than with a guy you don't? I must be shallow, cause I don't feel any difference for me....maybe it's because I am not capable of feeling romantic love, I don't know....

(Edit) Moderators, I just realized that this thread may be better in the women's perspective forum, but I wasn't sure, because it involves a relationship. Arg, so many forums....haha.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Firstly your penis is over average size .
I do believe women have a better time with romantic and emotional involvement and yes I do mean in a sexual way.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

Firstly your penis is over average size ..

I am sure this question has been asked millions of times here, but.....what's average?

Do you think women tend to see larger than average sizes more often, as larger men tend to be more confident and get laid more? Perhaps most attractive women think average size is bigger than it actually is, because the only men confident enough to approach them are sporting something extra. You think at the bar or nightclub the size of guys scoring chicks is larger than average?

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

I am sure this question has been asked millions of times here, but.....what's average?

Do you think women tend to see larger than average sizes more often, as larger men tend to be more confident and get laid more? Perhaps most attractive women think average size is bigger than it actually is, because the only men confident enough to approach them are sporting something extra. You think at the bar or nightclub the size of guys scoring chicks is larger than average?

6.7 bpel, 5.8 nbpel, 5 inches mseg is good.

Try getting in better shape. That will help you a lot.

I going to start my working out next week when it starts warming up it into the high 60's
I prefer at lest 65F minimum if I work outside.

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

Notice I say "sex" because I hate to call it love-making....I don't want to make love....I want to F*Ck, you know?

Although fucks are nice and I can have amazing orgasms from them, love-making is a totally out of this world experience.

Imagine standing on the beach....bare feet in the water, with your pants rolled up to your calves...
wind blowing in your face, you can taste the salt on your tongue....
and out in the ocean, as far as you can see....
there's a group of waves creeping in.... slowly.... patiently.... creep....
You spot them from far away and have them in your sights, jaw dropping beautiful work of nature.
They're getting closer and building ever so slightly as they approach you, you feel a pounding in your chest as you await their arrival.
You stand frozen, not wanting to move as they swell to monstrous heights and come closer.....If you don't move, they'll surely pound into you and knock you off your feet....
Here comes the first.......bam......ass in the water, big smile on your face.....then another one assaults you......and who knows how many more are out there.....How many can you handle?

That, to me, is orgasms I have from making love to my husband. It's a magical, unspeakable, rhythmic dance that needs no words.

If she's into you, maybe you sure try it. Everyone likes to pounding hot steamy sex, who doesn't? Try to give her something new

Oh, you asked about size? You're good to go, bud

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Your cock is about the same size as mine. I have had great fucks, and bad fucks. I have made love to women and it's been awesome for both of us. I have also had lacklustre experiences. At no time was my cock size a factor.

I can however promise you if you make it an issue it will spoil the moment. Unless you're saying something like "you just love my big fat cock inside you don't you" ... which is likely to go down well during a fuck.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I am sure this question has been asked millions of times here, but.....what's average?

Do you think women tend to see larger than average sizes more often, as larger men tend to be more confident and get laid more? Perhaps most attractive women think average size is bigger than it actually is, because the only men confident enough to approach them are sporting something extra. You think at the bar or nightclub the size of guys scoring chicks is larger than average?

I think at the bar or nightclub the confidence and character of guys scoring chicks is larger than average.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

I just feel like this whole "love-making" concept eludes me; penis in, penis out. No? I mean, how can sex with me be "special" when she's done EXACTLY the same thing with other guys she didn't "love". Am I missing something? One time she "appeared" to have three orgasms and she got me to stop before I was finished. She then started to cry and was so sensitive that if I touched any part of her body she would shiver and make sounds of delight. Seems kind of deluded to me. Maybe I just don't believe in love, but what the hell is up with a chick like that? Sometimes she just stares at me and smiles for no reason, and she's always trying to do stuff for me and please me, but usually I can't wait for her to leave so I can hangout with my buddies and drink beer, or read a good book. Do I have problems? This girl is an 8 out of 10, by the way....I don't ever sleep with unattractive women, but no matter what I do with this girl or how many "deep" conversations we have, I still feel EXACTLY the same thing....nothing.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

I think at the bar or nightclub the confidence and character of guys scoring chicks is larger than average.

Which could be due to above average wedding-tackle, no? I know if I was swinging even a 7X5.5 I would be nailing every good looking chick I could, to put it bluntly....I guess I just feel relegated to being the "consolation prize", the cute, harmless guy who treats women well and makes a great boyfriend. The second, third (or god knows what number) the woman made, because the studly guy with the big cock, who gave her better orgasms didn't want her.

Not be sound too conceited, but I am attractive enough and outwardly-confident enough to get sex with good-looking women, but I feel that if she was really hot, she would laugh at me.

By the way, I don't know why I lost my virginity so late....I think it's mainly because I developed late physically. I wasn't shaving until I was 18 and I wasn't very interested in sex until I hit 22. Something changed and all of a sudden I had quite a lot of libido, I don't know why.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Oh dear pysc issues are not my area , they may be better handled in the real world.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Are you attracted to women, Joe? Do you like them?

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

What, you calling me a homo? Just kidding. I am not homo-phobic at all. I have a gay friend and we hang out fairly regularly, although I am very much not gay. In many ways it would be easier if I were, and I would not be ashamed of it, but, alas, I am very much attracted to women. The problem is, after the sex, no matter how nice or cool the woman is, I tend to just want to not see her, my girlfriend included. I am sort of a grudging-heterosexual. At one time, I was pissed off at women, and I wanted to be gay....but even after watching some gay porn I could not get an erection. Weird I guess, but I'm being honest.

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

I just feel like this whole "love-making" concept eludes me; penis in, penis out. No? I mean, how can sex with me be "special" when she's done EXACTLY the same thing with other guys she didn't "love". Am I missing something? One time she "appeared" to have three orgasms and she got me to stop before I was finished. She then started to cry and was so sensitive that if I touched any part of her body she would shiver and make sounds of delight. Seems kind of deluded to me. Maybe I just don't believe in love, but what the hell is up with a chick like that? Sometimes she just stares at me and smiles for no reason, and she's always trying to do stuff for me and please me, but usually I can't wait for her to leave so I can hangout with my buddies and drink beer, or read a good book. Do I have problems? This girl is an 8 out of 10, by the way....I don't ever sleep with unattractive women, but no matter what I do with this girl or how many "deep" conversations we have, I still feel EXACTLY the same thing....nothing.

Maybe sex with those other guys weren't as special. When I first started having sex, I thought I was in love with him at the time as well. I just really liked him a lot and was horny. It wasn't until 2-3 months more down the road that I realized I was, in fact, in love with him. Maybe it's the same with her because it sounds like she is in love with you. And if you don't feel the same way and don't think you ever will, you two need to have a chat!

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Mate, you're the one saying you don't get any thrill from having sex from women, that it's empty to you, and that making love is an alien concept because it's just in/out. That tells me you don't relate to women in that way. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I have no problem with homosexuality either, but the idea of sex with men leaves me cold. Indeed I had my cock sucked by a guy once. I felt nothing apart from the obvious. Much like you describe.

Having said all of this, sorry I'm throwing quite a hard case at you, having sex with women I don't find attractive is much the same I guess.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

Not harsh at all, I see your point. The thing is though, I am super turned on by chicks. I love to have sex with them, I just don't "feel" a connection or anything. I don't understand how anyone can fall in love. That's what I meant by feeling "nothing". I meant it in an emotional sense.

I guess it's because I view sex as the closest, most intimate thing you can ever do with another human being, so the idea of having casual sex is a mixed-bag for me. On one hand, it was better for me in the sense that I was unentangled emotionally, but on the other, the thought that my girlfriend did the same thing disturbs me. I know that is hypocritical of me, but it's how I feel. I think I am trying to block her out cause it's the only way I can be around her. If I let myself care more than I do it would be problematic.

I guess I should have mentioned that things were very good at the start, namely because of what I didn't know about her. It as the best summer of my life, and I DID feel like I was in love, and probably was, but It all went downhill after some things she has mentioned to me. She told me that she had liked and been with this guy at her college for two weeks. They had lived beside eachother in the dorm. He told her he loved her after a week, yada yada. Long story short, she found out he was sleeping with five other women at the time, and that one of them was her friend. She actually laughed about it and said that he probably slept with half the dormitory. Add to that the fact that he had rough sex with her and gave her bruises and then tried (probably succeeded) to take photos of them while they were having sex, and it make me very unneasy. In fact, she learned of his promiscuity because his friend warned her about it, and showed him the photos of him with other girls.

This girl seems very sweet, and after learning this about her, it makes me think less of her. Also, I feel inadequate because there is no way I could ever be that successful with women, like that guy was. My girlfriend, who I am supposed to love and care about, meant nothing to him. She was just a hole to him, and it makes me furious. I don't care about ex boyfriends, but this kind of thing bugs me. I keep picturing this Arabic guy with a giant cock slamming my poor sweet girlfriend and hitting her, and then taking pictures of her and sending to his friend with captions like, "Check out this hot ass" etc, and I feel like I am going to faint.

The things that I can glean from this are that a. the guy must have been ridiculously handsome and manly, and thus able to fuck her better than me, and b. because if was more succuessful than I am with women, he is thus superior to me. I hate feeling inferior to other men, so this is a tough pill for me to swallow. Arg this is so difficult.

Maybe I am jealous, or maybe I feel aliented because I never went to college and was thus never privy to the frivolity and casual-approach to sex that goes on there. Whatever the case may be, I feel uncomfortable around her now, and can't look at her the same way. Why didn't she just not say anything? I guess she thought I was very secure, but I am not, and it's eating me. There is a sort of incongruity inherent to a woman that is so sweet-natured, but would also let that happen to her, and am so angry at her.

I am supposed to go to france with her for two months (she is from there) and I have bought my ticket, but I don't know what to do. If I don't go, I'll never see her again, and I might lose the only woman that ever loved me, but if I do go, I don't know if I can stand to be around her so much.

She thinks I'm different than the other guys, but in a lot of ways, I am very similar. At least behaviorally. I hate to see her cry, and breaking up with her will be terrible, and I may regret it down the road, but I don't know how to let this be a bygone. That f*cking a*shole probably still has those pictures! She's probably on the internet! She told me about it by saying that "he tried to take pictures of me, but I stopped him", however, she then said that, "it was only my ass. My face was not in them". She gets completely drunk from two drinks, so I am sure she didn't even notice him taking the pictures until it was too late. She's also too timid to grab the phone and destroy it. For all I know, she was probably in the photos the guy's friend showed her. How could she let a man hit her and disrespect her and treat her like that? Am I wrong to be upset about this?

That was true honesty right there. I guess I should have said this stuff at the beginning....penis size is only part of my problem.

Should I dump her?