Young, insecure male.....

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

Well if your girlfriend can forget about it, then surely you can too. People make mistakes. Did she say she regretted being with him? Are you going to blame her for something she did dumb in the past?

My girlfriend's ex was the wrong type of guy, and she regretted dating him, no there's no porn pic of her, but I am not going to blame her or be angry at her for something she did stupid in the past. She told me it was dumb and wish she never dated him, why would I be angry at her for it, It had nothing to do with me and she didn't even know me then.

[penisma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close penisma]

who cares whos fukin her now him or you

Lmao you worryin about nothing expcet your ego or sum crap.

Yesterday was the past today is the present.

THe way I see girls and sex is for soemthign for me to enjoy she may have had a bigger cock last week or will next week but who gives a crap Im gonna enjoy her whilst I get my chance. As long as she stiskcs aroudn she must be njoying it to, great, if she leaves, no sweat, I just need to find a new one.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

You can talk to her about it tell her how you feel about it, did she say he was the best lay ever? Probably not, did she say she regretted it? If she did then what is your problem. People make mistakes all the time, especially if you're young.
You say you love her but don't want to? then break it off and you Will get over it. Or say with her and get over yourself and your silly thoughts about the past.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

Addendum: I realize that real love is hard to find. When I am forty and alone, perhaps I would really regret losing a great woman who was crazy about me. It's just that it's hard to know how you will feel in years to come. I think she would still like me if she found out I was in porn movie where we triple-teamed a girl, so why can't I extend her the same courtesy? In my case, probably because I never took photographs of me having sex. I know people make mistakes, but I really think this photo thing is the lynch-pin of causality here. The past is gone.....but the knowledge that there is a photo makes the past PRESENT in a sense, and reminds you of the reality of what really went on. If she had just not told me about that, I would feel way way better about her.

All that being said, what if she is the one and I am negating all that because of one dude's penis. Is love more important than sex? I have never felt so, but if I were emotionally intelligent I would never have created a thread like this!

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

You're young and dumb, you just need a slap on the head. Go see your girlfriend, I'm sure she will give you one.

[jd10021 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jd10021]

joe, take a deep breath here. Your college girlfriend is another young adult who is exploring her sexuality also. She probably doesn't regret much at all and she shouldn't just to make you feel better. Personally, I would much rather be with a girl with a healthy attitude towards and knowledge of sex and, like it or not, that doesn't come from textbooks. Life is a journey... learn from past experience (good and bad) but focus on the road ahead.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Dude, I am not like you at all! I think you have issues that you should try to get help for!

In actuality, macho-talk aside, I like vanilla sex, with nice kisses. Slow relaxing sex. I know that jars with all the stuff that I have said, but it is true. I feel like less of a man because I DON'T have pictures of me with random girls, and I DON'T like to have rough sex and treat the girl in an over-dominant way. It's not in my nature to be like that. I just fight it because I hate being the weakling. I want to be the alpha dog, and alpha males objectify women more than me. The only reason I am trying to be shallow and just focus on sex is because I don't want to feel so insecure. Maybe that was what all the porn was about. Porn is the distillation of pure lust, with no emotional subtext whatsoever. Ergo, if I view my girlfriend solely as a sex-object, I don't have to deal with the pain of thinking of the others before me.

This next part is heavy, but cuts to the core of my issues with my girlfriend.....

I feel that those other men got to use her as a sex-object and discard her, and that I can't love her because of it. How can I love a woman that has a picture of some as*hole's cock in her? They know her as intimately as I can ever know her, and have been in the same place as I have, and the only time they ever think about her at all is when they are going through the mental spank-bank. I think about her every day. That arab dude probably has had so many women that he doesn't even think about her at all! Imagine that, he get's to be as physically close to her as possible, and it meant nothing to him at all, AND he has a picture out there. My girlfriend is in a pornographic image! How am I supposed to love her knowing this? I feel like a chump. How can she seem so sweet and innocent after this? She seems like the nicest girl ever, but this is crushing me. To me, her past makes what we have right now completely irrelevant. If that guy got to pump-and-dump her, and it was no big deal, how can she mean anything to me? I wish I didn't care about her at all. This is so tough. If only she had just shut up! TMI. (Too much information).

she obviously has a bit of pain over how and what this guy did, her choices?
You sound jealous of the guy for pumping and dumping and mad at yourself for not being able to keep your emotions removed.
The thing its sooo easy to pump and dump, and the asshole missed the quality aspects of her, these are the things that she is now offering you but you are caught judging her based on how another person treated her..
When you really like someone judgement often goes out the window. I don't know how old she was when this all went down but when you are young its easy to get lost and find yourself being someone you really are not...its also not until you are a bit older you realize how naive you really are or were.
Judge her based on how she treats you in the relationship and in the bedroom ..not how someone else treated her.

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

When she told me about it, she was a bit drunk, so it was like she feels really guilty about it and needed to fess-up to me. She framed it as though it was a funny story to try and lessen it's impact. I told her that what she said upset me very much, and she put her arms around me and started to cry. She said it was a mistake. I then said that I was insecure and that I feel like that man was more of a man than me, because of his ability to get women, and she said "but that type of man can't ever keep a women". What I didn't tell her was that that type of man doesn't CARE that he can't keep a woman. If would if he could. No no. She was just good enough for him to stick his cock into and take a photo of, not to care about.

Maybe that man will die alone and penniless and regretful, but I doubt it. even if he does, he still got to wreak havoc in the interim, no? People seem to think that love is the most important part of life, but, to men like that, love may not exist. At least not love of a romantic ilk. People also say that said man is missing-out, but what they fail to realize is that to the man in question, love is the real illusion, and they get to capitalize on the desire that women like my girlfriend have for it.

He DID tell her he loved her, and she believed him. I have never been so desperate to get into a chicks pants that I would say something like that. If I had no soul, I could probably wreak havoc just like him. He obviously used every trick in the book to get the numbers he was getting, so maybe I shouldn't be so insecure. It's easy to lay naive, shy young women if you are completely lacking in conscience and willing to say anything to get laid. I have never resorted to that, so maybe I AM more of a man than he is afterall.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

So she felt bad, told you about it, you told her how you feel she hugged you and cried, she said it's a mistake. So why are you getting angry at your girlfriend, people make mistakes, smart girls can be dumb too. She already regretted it. Obviously you hate the guy, so why do you direct it at your girlfriend. If you were more of a man you would forget about your girlfriend doing something stupid in the past that she regretted and care about her because you obviously do and she cares about you like you say.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

When she told me about it, she was a bit drunk, so it was like she feels really guilty about it and needed to fess-up to me. She framed it as though it was a funny story to try and lessen it's impact. I told her that what she said upset me very much, and she put her arms around me and started to cry. She said it was a mistake. I then said that I was insecure and that I feel like that man was more of a man than me, because of his ability to get women, and she said "but that type of man can't ever keep a women". What I didn't tell her was that that type of man doesn't CARE that he can't keep a woman. If would if he could. No no. She was just good enough for him to stick his cock into and take a photo of, not to care about.

Maybe that man will die alone and penniless and regretful, but I doubt it. even if he does, he still got to wreak havoc in the interim, no? People seem to think that love is the most important part of life, but, to men like that, love may not exist. At least not love of a romantic ilk. People also say that said man is missing-out, but what they fail to realize is that to the man in question, love is the real illusion, and they get to capitalize on the desire that women like my girlfriend have for it.

He DID tell her he loved her, and she believed him. I have never been so desperate to get into a chicks pants that I would say something like that. If I had no soul, I could probably wreak havoc just like him. He obviously used every trick in the book to get the numbers he was getting, so maybe I shouldn't be so insecure. It's easy to lay naive, shy young women if you are completely lacking in conscience and willing to say anything to get laid. I have never resorted to that, so maybe I AM more of a man than he is afterall.

Seriously dude, you need to focus on yourself and forget about how this other dude views women. Focus on you. Your gf made a mistake and she's just that, she's YOUR gf..........not his.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Joe
Can't read it all but to page one

1). Peen size is good
2). She's with u not her past guys
3). Yes great sex can be had with it
4). U r missing something. Experience. Yes 100% u can make love to one person. Break up. Fall in love again with another and make love. Millions do it every day. Just like a mother loves more than one of her children.
5). Ur insecurity is in many things not just ur peen. Seek professional advice to find out all the others issues, heal your mind.
6). As a person, male or female, it's an insult to say there is no difference from making love with ur partner or fucking on a one night stand type.
You can have all types of sex with the one you love.

Good luck

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

And what will happen when you find a new girlfriend who is even hotter? Everything will be going great and then you will find out she was with a guy that was huge. YOUR INSECURITIES will take over again and you will prevent yourself from being happy. Before you do anything stupid such as cheat on her, you NEED to take a very good look within yourself and your own inadequacies and where they stem from. Until you do that nothing is going to make you happy, not the hottest girl in the world, not a huge penis, nothing.

And onto the huge penis thing again. My current GF has been with a guy with a huge penis and NEVER ONCE HAD AN ORGASM from having sex with him. NEVER ONCE and she avoided sex with him. Now that doesn't sound that desirable. I'll be honest, I had a bit of a complex about it, but what matters is that we love each other and we have the best sex either of us have ever had. She was also naive and slept with a guy that had been with quite a few women, a guy you aspire to be like, and guess what. He was terrible in bed and she considers him a major regret in life. Maybe your girlfriend could be similar??

Make the experience about the girl and her enjoyment, for woman intimacy is huge. A guy cares more about the thrusting, a woman cares more about the sum of the whole experience and her feeling and how you treat her are huge contributors. Jackhammering away with a huge cock like in porn is rarely enjoyable for any woman you are going to run into.

Listen to the good advice that has been given to you in this thread. Don't screw up a good thing based solely on your insecurities. I wish you the best of luck, but you have a lot to learn about sex and women.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

And what will happen when you find a new girlfriend who is even hotter? Everything will be going great and then you will find out she was with a guy that was huge. YOUR INSECURITIES will take over again and you will prevent yourself from being happy. Before you do anything stupid such as cheat on her, you NEED to take a very good look within yourself and your own inadequacies and where they stem from. Until you do that nothing is going to make you happy, not the hottest girl in the world, not a huge penis, nothing.

And onto the huge penis thing again. My current GF has been with a guy with a huge penis and NEVER ONCE HAD AN ORGASM from having sex with him. NEVER ONCE and she avoided sex with him. Now that doesn't sound that desirable. I'll be honest, I had a bit of a complex about it, but what matters is that we love each other and we have the best sex either of us have ever had. She was also naive and slept with a guy that had been with quite a few women, a guy you aspire to be like, and guess what. He was terrible in bed and she considers him a major regret in life. Maybe your girlfriend could be similar??

Make the experience about the girl and her enjoyment, for woman intimacy is huge. A guy cares more about the thrusting, a woman cares more about the sum of the whole experience and her feeling and how you treat her are huge contributors. Jackhammering away with a huge cock like in porn is rarely enjoyable for any woman you are going to run into.

Listen to the good advice that has been given to you in this thread. Don't screw up a good thing based solely on your insecurities. I wish you the best of luck, but you have a lot to learn about sex and women.

Couldn't have said it better myself...........rep!

[joeaverage Member Find all posts View Profile Close joeaverage]

How do I deal with the nauseous feeling I have when I look at her though? Should I meditate? I just want to look at her like I used to, but I can't. I can't see the same woman. The woman I see now has been reduced to nothing more than a pornographic picture in some guy's phone. Al the "sweetness", kindness and innocence she seems to purvey is just a lie.

Why did she say that to me? Why did she ruin the best thing I've ever had. I hate her for that. Total fool. Why would she assume that I would, or should be "understanding" and "open minded". Bottom line is: people make mistakes, but why is it that her mistakes are so much worse than mine? I view myself as being a better person than her now, so this is doomed.

I've learned one thing. I will NEVER discuss my past sexual experiences with a woman, and I will never ever let her mention hers. That information should be kept private. Next girlfriend mentions ANYTHING and I am dumping her on the spot. As long as I don't know, then I can assume the best, and live better. This one has to get the boot. I'm seeing this now. I don't see any other option. Once the love turns to revulsion, the relationship is over. I can't believe I didn't see it before.

[Closed039 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Closed039]

I really hope that ban is a permanent one.