Worst lover/sexual experience

[NauseousOuroboros Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NauseousOuroboros]

^Talk about having a vacuum cleaner for a dick lol!

WAHAHAHAHA ahem. I never thought of it like that. Maybe the urethra could turn into a suctionlike straw if it formed a seal against something soft, wet, sticky and suction causing like a vagina. I wonder if the penis intentionally 'drinks' vaginal fluid as some kind of undiscovered mechanism of human sexuality. Huh.

[CaptAbe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CaptAbe]

Worst experience...well there are a few, but here's one.

I was 17 at the time, and my girlfriend was ready to lose her V-card. We were at school in the driver's ED classroom while everyone else went to some pep rally or some other assembly, I don't recall. So we kissing and touching and getting all hot and bothered. So she's finally ready and I slowly slip it in, we finally get a good motion going on and she says the pains is gone and to go faster, So I obliged. Then comes a few "Oh Shits" from her, i'm guessing she's ready to climax, just when I start feeling a pressure building up, she pounds on my chest, literally pushing me off her, by the time I pull out there's a geyser erupting from between her legs as she jumps off the table and trying to run to the classroom door. (Now at this point i'm standing there thinking what the fucks going on here). But as she jumps down from the table her legs are weak, and she stumbles, falls and proceeds to shit, quite a bit, right there on the floor while still squirting. So I walk over to her and help her up, she's crying and saying she tried to get to the bathroom, she didn't feel like she had to crap when we were doing it, and i'm telling her its ok, its ok...

After a couple of minutes of this she finally is composed enough, so I help her up and help her to the bathroom, then I run back to the classroom to do a bit a clean up of her juices, shit, and blood. (Yes, i'm still naked and she's in the bathroom naked cleaning up.)

Well, as i'm almost done cleaning the door opens and one of my friends walks in and sees me there naked, with a bundle of papertowels and some bleach and spray cleaner on the table in the background, then he bursts out laughing. At this moment she comes back to the classroom and sees him and she's absolutely petrified, I mean completely frozen in horror that someone discovered what happened....

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

Worst experience...well there are a few, but here's one.

I was 17 at the time, and my girlfriend was ready to lose her V-card. We were at school in the driver's ED classroom while everyone else went to some pep rally or some other assembly, I don't recall. So we kissing and touching and getting all hot and bothered. So she's finally ready and I slowly slip it in, we finally get a good motion going on and she says the pains is gone and to go faster, So I obliged. Then comes a few "Oh Shits" from her, i'm guessing she's ready to climax, just when I start feeling a pressure building up, she pounds on my chest, literally pushing me off her, by the time I pull out there's a geyser erupting from between her legs as she jumps off the table and trying to run to the classroom door. (Now at this point i'm standing there thinking what the fucks going on here). But as she jumps down from the table her legs are weak, and she stumbles, falls and proceeds to shit, quite a bit, right there on the floor while still squirting. So I walk over to her and help her up, she's crying and saying she tried to get to the bathroom, she didn't feel like she had to crap when we were doing it, and i'm telling her its ok, its ok...

After a couple of minutes of this she finally is composed enough, so I help her up and help her to the bathroom, then I run back to the classroom to do a bit a clean up of her juices, shit, and blood. (Yes, i'm still naked and she's in the bathroom naked cleaning up.)

Well, as i'm almost done cleaning the door opens and one of my friends walks in and sees me there naked, with a bundle of papertowels and some bleach and spray cleaner on the table in the background, then he bursts out laughing. At this moment she comes back to the classroom and sees him and she's absolutely petrified, I mean completely frozen in horror that someone discovered what happened....

Poor thing, that girl...I wonder how she feels when the subject of "How did you lose your virginity?" comes up. Nice story LMAO

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

Great post Steneo! Really heartfelt. Thanks.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Great post Steneo! Really heartfelt. Thanks.

[Mr. Frustrated Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mr. Frustrated]

The worst? Could be the time my wife had this outdoors fantasy and we go out in our back yard and get into it. Then the mosquitoes found me, not her, just me. It was so bad everything went wrong and she got pissed off. Not my best night. Or it could have been the day I woke up with my former babysitter while home on leave and found out that it's not at all hot to wake up with a puking drunk. Or the time I somehow managed to actually hook up with a good friends daughter (he was quite a lot older) and totally pissed him and his wife off, plus the daughter was a lousy person, it was a disaster and the sex sucked. She was the only moaner/talker I've ever been with and she could have written the script for every porn movie ever made. She actually said, "OMG! Your ripping me in HALF!!!!" You could have driven a Mack truck up that tunnel. Knowing her ex, I figured it was all training kicking in. I was like number 186 to delve into that area and trust me, there was no "ripping". It was more like sticking my Henry into a warm, humid room. The stupid things you do when drinking and horny.

Probably the worst was this really gorgeous girl I dated overseas. I spent an awful lot of money on her for a long time and got a lot of promises but no sex. Then she got arrested for prostitution. She an her bud were selling themselves to Japanese nationals that would pay big bucks for an American hottie. I know it wasn't sex, but it was one of the most demeaning events I've encountered. I was sooooooooo naive.

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

I don't know if this counts but...... but here T-Rex goes again!

Many many many years ago I’m on a business trip with my lesbian boss. She is a very good looking gal but prefers women. Duh! The rumors around the office, has it that on occasion she would seek out male companionship for Woo Hoo!

During that time I had gotten really built as I was single and had nothing better to do after a messy divorce but live at the gym. She was very touchy feely with me and I was quite puzzled. I thought she was just messing with me and my poor T-Rex brain.

So anyway we are on this business trip and she calls my room and asks what I'm up too. I mumbled something and before I can say two words she says I'll be right over. My boss knocks at my door and shows up in really tight short running shorts, half tee shirt and no bra. I try to act nonchalant and after she checks out the view from the hotel window she walks over to me and sits in my lap. She is complementing my physique and stroking my triceps etc.

Then an Angel and a Devil land on my shoulder and both start whispering advice in my ears.

The Devil is saying what the Hey…..F her brains out. The Angel is saying No No No be Good!

So I FREAK and stand up and tell her I’m hungry. So I tell her to change and we’ll go eat.

Dinner was really weird and a couple of months later she tried to fire me.

Moral of this story: I should have listened to the Devil as she would have tried to get me fired either way.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

Worst ever? I have had three different women start their periods on me during fingering, cunnilingus, and sex. That's a bit of a shocker when it first happens, and it's mortifying to the woman, but it's not that bad. It did freak me out the first time I was eating p*ssy and the woman came shortly before my mouth started filling with blood.

I was cool about it though. I just stopped and went over the the sink to wash my mouth out, told her as calmly as I could "Honey, you just started your period", and spent some time comforting her because she was really upset. It was a ONS and one of those "Hey, it happens" type of moments. She knew it was coming, but she didn't think it would be so soon. I was a a little mad, but I couldn't be upset with her for something she didn't mean to have happen then and there.

I've had worse from women who were trying harder, and as far as I'm concerned having a woman bleed on you during sex and not making a big deal about it is one of the manliest things you can do. She wouldn't have it happen at that time if she control it, and it's not her fault mother nature decided to pay her a visit when the sex just started getting good. That sort of thing just happens from time to time.

[heretohelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close heretohelp]

I've purposefully had sex with guys to jump start a late period. Usually it begins the morning after though. It's great that you were so cool about it; better problem handling means more sex after all.

I once had a partner tell me all I wanted him for was sex. We'd been together for a year and he had ED. I made the mistake of making an advance when he was apparently having a bad day in the downstairs department and promptly spent a few hours assuring him I didn't just want him for his body. Sometimes I think I also wear the tie and briefcase in my relationships.

[mcpecker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mcpecker]

My worst experience was when I was getting a blow job and out of no were she starts to toss my salad. I jumped up and walked out without saying a word.

I would've taken her to Zales.

[Richvextends Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Richvextends]

What makes a great kisser? Hmm probably three things. 1. One that puts feelings into the act. 2.Being in the moment is the most important in my opinion. 3. the build up, enjoying her smile, watching her walk up stairs, listening to each other.

Being a great kisser is easy but life pulls us in many directions and can make connecting difficult.

To answer the original question what makes a bad experience sexually, no feelings for the other person, not being present and being a tool for someone else, and no connection or build up.