26 year old virgin seeking help.

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

I think you need to find some self-love. Just from reading your post, I have MANY similarities to you. Hit the "genetic lottery" so to speak, but when I was younger I couldn't get laid and still have trouble from time to time depending on the state of my mental health/self-esteem. You just have to jump, it's risky and no one wants to fail. But, if you want to get to the next stages in life you have to make that jump and just say FUCK IT! Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Keep telling yourself that you feel and are perfectly adequate and beyond that. Repeat it in the mirror everyday, over time you will make a big difference on your mental psyche. The only person who can defeat you is yourself, and right now you're doing a very good job at it.

I am incapable of doing that. That seems like lying to yourself essentially and over time believeing things that are not necessarily true.

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

well I'm short 5'4" and I can tell you that it is much more difficult being a short guy and you are for more likely to be ridiculed by women and men than having an average sized penis. Trust me people treat you like shit when you're short or look young and they don't hide it. It tends to be only young people that make fun of guys for small dicks. Women around your age usually won't do it.

I once had a girl on a dating site who I had just clicked like on her to receive a message saying no thanks I don't date short guys. It is extremely difficult for us to find women that will date us. They care FAR more about height than dick size and I think they may also assume that a short guy has a small dick which would be wrong obviously.

This is the exact reason I have built up a deep resentment towards females because of things like this. At almost 6’2 which seems to be the sweet spot that qualifies for the requirements of some entitled whores, I didnt choose this height or do anything to achieve it. Then penis size and else go hand in hand. In some ways it makes me feel good that I could reject such females and hopefully make them feel worse by giving them a reality check to knock there ego back a few notches.

Finding out that I am subjectively “good looking” gives me an advantage in life but the way i choose to use it will be different than others. It seems to be some kind of security blanket because girls think im some stud that has his pick of women, so the virgin thing didnt bother me so much. If you can sell them an idea and convince them that you refuse to have sex because you think you are better than them, so be it. Unfortunately, this wont work for all males. If you’re ugly to women or dont fit their dating/sexual requirements then it will be no surprise to them as to why you’re a virgin.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

I am incapable of doing that. That seems like lying to yourself essentially and over time believeing things that are not necessarily true.

I get what you mean. I think this way all the time but we shouldn't. It may be lying to yourself but if you believe it then you WILL feel better and that's what counts isn't it?

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

This is the exact reason I have built up a deep resentment towards females because of things like this. At almost 6’2 which seems to be the sweet spot that qualifies for the requirements of some entitled whores, I didnt choose this height or do anything to achieve it. Then penis size and else go hand in hand. In some ways it makes me feel good that I could reject such females and hopefully make them feel worse by giving them a reality check to knock there ego back a few notches.

Finding out that I am subjectively “good looking” gives me an advantage in life but the way i choose to use it will be different than others. It seems to be some kind of security blanket because girls think im some stud that has his pick of women, so the virgin thing didnt bother me so much. If you can sell them an idea and convince them that you refuse to have sex because you think you are better than them, so be it. Unfortunately, this wont work for all males. If you’re ugly to women or dont fit their dating/sexual requirements then it will be no surprise to them as to why you’re a virgin.

Well I've slept with 11 women, I don't consider myself attractive and the height thing sucks in dating but I guess I was confident enough to make the effort and it worked. Most girls who slept with me soon didn't give a shit about the height. Those that rejected me cause of height missed out on my skills in bed (not trying to be big headed). I could either say I'm useless cause they rejected me or I could say they're shallow and missed out on something good, which would be the better way to think?

Not all of them are like that though, I've had taller women who wanted me and I think with you, you need to change the way to view women as being "one". They aren't all the same. It's like a woman who constantly says "men are cheats and liars, they are all the same" which isn't true. Judge people on an individual basis and you will see that some aren't as bad as you think.

[Trax2Brax Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Trax2Brax]

I am doing it for myself but lets be honest why are most guys looking to improve themselves and especially ones with below average or small ones? To only be doing PE strictly for yourself unless you are already large, purely for oneself seems like a cope or excuse. According to your starting stats, I believe that you could very well be doing it for yourself. Don’t take this the wrong way because I appreciate the reply, but its always guys that have more of or something that others dont that tell them to not worry or be happy about it.

You say I should never let a womans comments about my penis get under my skin, but why are they trying to undermine us in such a malicious way? This is another reason that I have completely avoided them, so that they could never have that opportunity. Its safe to say that I have developed a deep resentment for them and their entitlement and failure to be understanding of things a male has no control over like height or penis size. Height is something I didn’t miss out on in the genetic lottery so to speak.

I think to myself at times that maybe I am just overanalyzing all of this and once I actually take a step foward and even show my penis to a female in real life, that I am going to regret making such a big deal about it and feel even worse.

That also does concern me about a girls other partners and coming up short in comparison to them. This has always been in the back of my mind. Forget about performance when you have no experience at all and the pressure always being on males in the performance aspect. I have considered playing catch up and practicing in the near future with escorts because I will never admit to this lack of experience to any female that has interest in me.

I get what you mean. I'm not saying you should be always be content with what you have, because that means you become stagnant and don't progress. I believe you came to these forums for a reason and if you want a bigger penis you should go for it. That's all, don't compare yourself to anyone else because at the end of the day you could become bigger then anyone else here if you were dedicated enough. You never know....

The whole getting underneath the skin thing about penis comments goes deeper than just that and I should have extrapolated on that. It's more about not letting people get the best of you and make fun of you for something you can't always have control over (though PE can prove this wrong.) Whether that's your height, family, income, body shape, personality, penis size, etc. You just need to know people out there ARE malicious whether that's a conscious effort on their part or not and you need to learn how to deal with that to progress in life.

People place others on a hierarchy and they wanna gauge where you fit on said social hierarchy in subtle ways and not so subtle ways. That's what I meant when you should take things like that in a stride, most of the times girls are only saying comments about your penis or others ONLY TO SEE if you're insecure or not (i.e are you an "alpha" male who can take a punch or not?) If you couldn't care less, that would just make you that much more attractive. Also keep in mind, other people aren't really good at gauging your junk because it depends a lot on your body size as well (a larger penis looks much bigger on a short skinny guy than a taller one)

Hope what I said makes better sense.

[closed289 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed289]

You should get your shit together because the way of your thinking is not healthy at all.

Being depressed over above average sizes is so pathetic.

Wrong, criticising a young man for his insecurity is pathetic.

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

Well I've slept with 11 women, I don't consider myself attractive and the height thing sucks in dating but I guess I was confident enough to make the effort and it worked. Most girls who slept with me soon didn't give a shit about the height. Those that rejected me cause of height missed out on my skills in bed (not trying to be big headed). I could either say I'm useless cause they rejected me or I could say they're shallow and missed out on something good, which would be the better way to think?

Not all of them are like that though, I've had taller women who wanted me and I think with you, you need to change the way to view women as being "one". They aren't all the same. It's like a woman who constantly says "men are cheats and liars, they are all the same" which isn't true. Judge people on an individual basis and you will see that some aren't as bad as you think.

I have had a decent amount or opportunities for someone that puts in zero effort and like i said avoids any possibility of developing sexual tension or relations. Looking back I am starting to regret it but I cope by telling myself it was for my own good and saving myself the embarrassment. Another part of says who cares what the hell they think, because the majority of these girls atleast ones that seemed interested were used up jaded goods anyway. In some way it makes me feel of higher value when I try to make it seem positive. In actuality its not because I have kept myself in a state of arrested development.

I know its not good to judge others so quickly but the whole “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is utterly cliche. I take pride in the fact that my judgement on most people based on minimal interaction and their exterior appearance has been mostly accurate to this point. Males and females but mostly females.

One can say how you would know anything with no experience, but i have paid close attention to friends, coworkers, family members experiences with relationships, sex, ect. At this point I know the obvious red flags and they just lead to more whether it be personality related or physical. I guess it has just scared me away and in some positive way forced me to focus more on my career and hobbies.

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

Wrong, criticising a young man for his insecurity is pathetic.

I don’t disagree with him. Sometimes some tough love can be what someone needs and therapeautic. I wish it was that easy.

[closed289 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed289]

I don’t disagree with him. Sometimes some tough love can be what someone needs and therapeautic. I wish it was that easy.

Whether or not you agree with him - male suicide is at an all time high and unsympathetic comments like his don't help.

I don't think for a second that you're suicidal btw, but you know what I mean.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

One can say how you would know anything with no experience, but i have paid close attention to friends, coworkers, family members experiences with relationships, sex, ect. At this point I know the obvious red flags and they just lead to more whether it be personality related or physical. I guess it has just scared me away and in some positive way forced me to focus more on my career and hobbies.

Have you got any examples of this? It seems you most likely looking for the faults in relationships and sex rather than focusing on the positive. You say you changed it into positive but looking at other people in this way is not a positive thing. A good relationship is built on understanding and trust and has absolutely zero to do with penis size or even sexual ability. We, as men, think sex is the be all and end all but women will gladly be with someone who sucks in bed as long as he's a good husband and father.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

I also was a virgin until I was 26, partially due to my insecurity about my dick size which was 5.5” BPEL and 4.4” girth, but also because I was shy when it came to talking to females.

Once I found myself in a conducive situation leading up to getting her into bed, all concerns over size went out the window and we spent a delightful night together. At your size, there should be absolutely no concern over size. Your problem is not dick size, it is poor social skills. You need to work on your social skills and put yourself into situations where you can meet girls - clubs, bars, church groups, even dating sites, etc. practice talking to females anywhere you get a chance.

[djmotion Senior Member Member of the Month March 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close djmotion]

But if you looking for a wifey avoid the clubs and bars lol

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

Whether or not you agree with him - male suicide is at an all time high and unsympathetic comments like his don't help.

I don't think for a second that you're suicidal btw, but you know what I mean.

I’m definitely not suicidal but have had thoughts and fantasy’s of something happening to me so that I would basically die and be content with that. I have a supportive family and good upbringing and thats why I can’t believe how much I can’t stand being in my own skin. Having other things to live for but some things just drag you down and you lose motivation to do things you enjoyed for so long. Professional self loathing.

[closed289 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed289]

I know this might be controversial, but why not bang an escort for your first time? There's no shame in it, loads of guys I know did it. Good fun as well and they'll do more or less anything. Just make sure you use protection though.

I agree with the others that you shouldn't worry about size and you're perfectly normal, but it may well increase your confidence and it's very discreet.

[softee Member Find all posts View Profile Close softee]

I also was a virgin until I was 26, partially due to my insecurity about my dick size which was 5.5” BPEL and 4.4” girth, but also because I was shy when it came to talking to females.

Once I found myself in a conducive situation leading up to getting her into bed, all concerns over size went out the window and we spent a delightful night together. At your size, there should be absolutely no concern over size. Your problem is not dick size, it is poor social skills. You need to work on your social skills and put yourself into situations where you can meet girls - clubs, bars, church groups, even dating sites, etc. practice talking to females anywhere you get a chance.

You see its funny you say poor social skills because its the complete opposite. I have never had issues talking to females or anyone in general. I have been told on numerous occasions that i’m “different” and can hold conversations as well as being intelligent. I just won’t proceed to take anything any further to the point of sexual relations coming abroad.
Some females have been drawn to me because of my personality according to the feedback I have gathered and it has always puzzled me. Why me? Why give me the time of day when there are so many better options.
Females have told me that they are surprised that I am single because of my looks and personality. I do think they exagerate and compliments like that make me uncomfortable.