Guy who has zero experience

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

Update


Well, this semester I've talked to more girls, and one middle aged woman lol, just being friendly. Nothing serious, but pretty comfortable talking to them.

However, one of these girls I think likes me. Stress think haha. Now my dilemma is how do I know if she does?

Well you're making progress, that's good.

First thing you need to do is work on your "asking out" technique. It's going to be rough... I went through it myself in college.

I had to learn all this on my own, so trust me when i tell you there's a LOT of experience involved.

If you can spark the conversation, just keep it going. then as for a means of contact. Like a number to call her.

CALL HER! don't send a text. Call... modern kids highly underestimate the value of a call. Use your deep Man-Voice when you call her and make sure to set up a date where you two can have tie to talk...

A lunch date at some cheap deli that's close to campus. something that's not too popular but good. looks like you're well informed of the things around. She's always impressed when you can show her something new (that's part of the confidence!)

Wait, I'm probably going way too far ahead...

START with getting the phone number and calling her to set up a date...



As far as rejection... I got rejected just yesterday was talking to the Hygiene Assistant at the Dentist while I was there getting my teeth cleaned. She was setting me up for stuff and we started talking she was SOOO hot! and ofcourse, being in dentistry, had the most beautiful smile.

So while we're talking she ends up leaving and not coming back. I was like 'SHIT i should have made a move there!" I'm never goin to see her again...

After my cleaning I saw her again while she was working with another patient, but they were nearly as chatty so she was quiet. She waved at me and said Bye, so I walked over to her, and asked her for a form of contact and said I'd like to take her out to lunch or dinner or something.

Her: "aaHHHHH *sorry face*... I can't , I have a boyfriend..."
Me: "Ahhh, and why wouldn't you ... Oh well, If you don't ask you don't know, right?"
Her: "Exactly *face lights up*
Me: "I'll see you around then "

I smiled, turned around, and did my walk of shame LOL! a little disappointed, but oh well. C'est la vie.

[BlasphemousRumors Member Find all posts View Profile Close BlasphemousRumors]

Update


Well, this semester I've talked to more girls, and one middle aged woman lol, just being friendly. Nothing serious, but pretty comfortable talking to them.

However, one of these girls I think likes me. Stress think haha. Now my dilemma is how do I know if she does?

oops my bad I didnt see this post One sign is when you guys are hanging out together or your near her she doesn't mind you being real close to her, she might even do things to purposely get closer to you. Another is you can talk about random shit and she listens whole heartedly. If at anytime she touches you like she's known you for awhile, she's definitely into you as well.

[blulite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close blulite]

just keep doing what your doing. talk to her as you have been.. there is no sure fire way to tell unless she tells you herself..

you can see it in their eyes.

if you treat her nice and she does like you then one way i have found and this is me personally... one way i have found is when your talking just work the conversation to one that suggests you relocate to another area

not by your selves but with everyone unless theres just you two.. you could say something like "shal we go sit on the grass"

if she says yes then gently take her hand and lead her there..

if she moves her hand away then just shake your head and say oh sorry was in a word of my own there.

however if she allows you to tak her hand and lead her to your sitting place then you know she likes you. after that its a matter of when you say good bye give her a kiss on the cheek and say good bye..if she lets you kiss heron the cheek then she definitly likes you.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

somebodyelse: Yea, blowing it when/if I make my move is definitely a worry haha. Also, you're saying a lunch date is good? I've heard that is a surefire way to the friend zone? O f course I wouldn't know lol.

blasphemousrumors: Well, she does laugh at random stuff I say.

Blulite: Ok thanks, I'll have to pay attention then.

[blulite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close blulite]

the best way to get a girl is to be your self, if you treat a girl like shes an equal, as a potential partner then your on the right track.

the only girls that like loud idiots are the ones that get their hearts broken.

and yeah deffo no lunch dates.. you dont have to take a girl on a date for her to like you

she has to like you before you go on a date.

it makes the date so much more romantic

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

It only leads to the friend zone if you want it to.

the lunch date is good for softening her up. Get her comfortable in your presence. Kind of like just going out to hang for a while get to know her better.

The purpose of this is to make less awkward that first dinner date. your dinner date is your second date and the pretenses are down. lunch, she's going to eat like a bird because she doesn't know you well. dinner, she'll eat like a bird too but much less so, and there will be more to talk about at dinner since you both know each others buttons a little bit better.

Dinner usually is a lot more fun when there's a bit of a history there. Inside jokes work better, and smiles are genuine instead of contrived.

After the dinner date, I usually get a text saying "I really enjoyed our dinner " or something along those lines. usually opens up the door for more meaningful maneuvers.

If you already know the girl, and you all have hung out, going out, regardless of the meal, will be comfortable and can lead to more. Just make your intentions known. Touch her without reason. Get close to her, speak to her with your body language, you know?

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

the best way to get a girl is to be your self, if you treat a girl like shes an equal, as a potential partner then your on the right track.

the only girls that like loud idiots are the ones that get their hearts broken.

and yeah deffo no lunch dates.. you dont have to take a girl on a date for her to like you

she has to like you before you go on a date.

it makes the date so much more romantic

pray-tell how is a girl supposed to like you if you don't get to know her first?

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

It only leads to the friend zone if you want it to.

the lunch date is good for softening her up. Get her comfortable in your presence. Kind of like just going out to hang for a while get to know her better.

The purpose of this is to make less awkward that first dinner date. your dinner date is your second date and the pretenses are down. lunch, she's going to eat like a bird because she doesn't know you well. dinner, she'll eat like a bird too but much less so, and there will be more to talk about at dinner since you both know each others buttons a little bit better.

Dinner usually is a lot more fun when there's a bit of a history there. Inside jokes work better, and smiles are genuine instead of contrived.

After the dinner date, I usually get a text saying "I really enjoyed our dinner " or something along those lines. usually opens up the door for more meaningful maneuvers.

If you already know the girl, and you all have hung out, going out, regardless of the meal, will be comfortable and can lead to more. Just make your intentions known. Touch her without reason. Get close to her, speak to her with your body language, you know?

Ok man. That sounds solid to me.

[blulite Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close blulite]

pray-tell how is a girl supposed to like you if you don't get to know her first?

because if you had picked up on the point he already knows the girl and talks to her...plus he thinks she likes him..he was asking simply what to do next.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

because if you had picked up on the point he already knows the girl and talks to her...plus he thinks she likes him..he was asking simply what to do next.

Yea, you're right I already know her.



The biggest "problem" I have is that I only really like her because I think she likes me. So if I'm reading this wrong I'll feel stupid for getting rejected by a girl who I'm not that into.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no such thing as rejection, just differences of opinion - and nobody ever got worked up and all up in their head about the prospect of somebody disagreeing with them.

on the lunch dates thing, I'd say maybe try not to see it as a date. Keep it casual at first, like you're just getting a bite to eat, and creating an opportunity to spend some time with her. It'll take the pressure off you, and her, and you can engineer some time alone with her more easily with less resistance. Point is, the more comfortable you become creating those opportunities to be doing something together, the easier you'll find it to be bolder about your intentions as time goes by.

Make lots of eye contact.

Then get back to her soon and say "hey I had a great time with you the other day, do you fancy going out some time? I found this great place you just *have* to check out" or some such thing... depends what you've been talking about. Relate it back to her so she knows you were listening.

Well, that's one approach anyway. It may work, it may not, but as SBE says, you'll never know unless you ask. The worst thing you can do is try to analyse her and work out what she's thinking for yourself. You can't. And use SBE's line if she makes an excuse. It'll clear the air for you and it'll show her you're in control of yourself. Then she might change her mind next time

And the other thing - maybe you're already noticing since you've been approaching women more - is that there are a surprising number of women who will be into spending time with you.

Ultimately it's all about your confidence, or at least her sense of it. Even shyness is fine, it can be endearing IF you're able to laugh about it with her. If she thinks you're uncomfortable though she'll smell it a mile off and you'll need to work pretty hard to get another chance.

Good luck.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no such thing as rejection, just differences of opinion - and nobody ever got worked up and all up in their head about the prospect of somebody disagreeing with them.

on the lunch dates thing, I'd say maybe try not to see it as a date. Keep it casual at first, like you're just getting a bite to eat, and creating an opportunity to spend some time with her. It'll take the pressure off you, and her, and you can engineer some time alone with her more easily with less resistance. Point is, the more comfortable you become creating those opportunities to be doing something together, the easier you'll find it to be bolder about your intentions as time goes by.

Make lots of eye contact.

Then get back to her soon and say "hey I had a great time with you the other day, do you fancy going out some time? I found this great place you just *have* to check out" or some such thing... depends what you've been talking about. Relate it back to her so she knows you were listening.

Well, that's one approach anyway. It may work, it may not, but as SBE says, you'll never know unless you ask. The worst thing you can do is try to analyse her and work out what she's thinking for yourself. You can't. And use SBE's line if she makes an excuse. It'll clear the air for you and it'll show her you're in control of yourself. Then she might change her mind next time

And the other thing - maybe you're already noticing since you've been approaching women more - is that there are a surprising number of women who will be into spending time with you.

Ultimately it's all about your confidence, or at least her sense of it. Even shyness is fine, it can be endearing IF you're able to laugh about it with her. If she thinks you're uncomfortable though she'll smell it a mile off and you'll need to work pretty hard to get another chance.

Good luck.

the EXACT thing i was trying to say... couldn't find the words to say it... Reps

[organic Member Find all posts View Profile Close organic]

I only read the first page and the last so I apologize if anything I say is redundant at this point. I was in a similar boat actually, as the OP. I hadn't really been rejected throughout school and high school and every time I tried I seemed to get the girl; even when I didn't try. But I was terrified of rejection all the same. I didn't lose my virginity until about your age and it was really all on me. I look back now and see how easy it could have been. Hell, at the time I lost my virginity I had 3 girls trying to take it from me. I choose one of them and made a relationship outta it but it wasn't long before she was trying to jump my bones. Again still afraid of being terrible in bed or cummin too fast or whatever I spent my time browsing the internet (finding PE sites, reading kamasutra, watching porn for positions and other tips) and it was really all for nothing. The first time this girl and I had sex, I acted like a mofuckin porn star and took charge and I wrecked her. This chick fuckin hit me after ward and called me a liar for telling her I was a virgin.

TL;DR = be open. 99% of guys out there aren't looking how to get better, most just care about getting their dick wet. You're that 1% by posting on this forum.

So take in what people are telling you but really just gotta learn not to put each possible candidate on a pedestal. And if you do (which I wouldn't recommend) they might be turned off but you can still try and show them you're not a quitter and eventually you might win them over but that's only if you can't handle not putting them up on a pedestal..

[samsi4life Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close samsi4life]

You also have the option of walking around parties telling women you're a virgin. If you can follow that up with a conversation I promise you're golden.

are you a virgin?

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

Yea, you're right I already know her.



The biggest "problem" I have is that I only really like her because I think she likes me. So if I'm reading this wrong I'll feel stupid for getting rejected by a girl who I'm not that into.

and that's why it's better to get her in a situation where there's no "pressure" You put her in a situation that's deceptively innocent and show your interest in her. Honestly, girls are not stupid. any alone time with them is time they know you want to be alone with them. They already pick up on your "interest" just by you asking them out.

To tell you the truth, those are the best girls to practice on. If they like you, you're able to actually SEE the responses you get from the stuff you do. You then compare those reactions to your "actions" to a girl who's not interested in you and you're capable of discerning the differences. Be careful because some girls are really flirty and it's hard to figure out what they're doing... you'll eventually be able to pick those out too.