Had an experience to day that illustrated just how much porn can mess with one’s perceptions.
Back before I got married and found better things to do, I used to search out porn on the net. In those dark ages of the web (late 90s earl 00s) it was more difficult to find things that were worth watching. There was this one video, Size Matters, with Leanna Hart and a guy named Julian. The guy was hung like a horse, really hard, and she was really into it. The guy’s erection and the girl’s reaction to it stuck in my head and had me jealous / envious for years. I wanted to be big like him. In some ways it was the impetus for my first failed forays into PE all those years ago.
So today I was rooting around on an old back up drive, trying to find an old textbook. I came across a bunch of old zip files, some with old porn videos. These were 30-40 seconds long and tiny. Really makes you wonder what the thrill was back then. Anyway, here was this Size Matters video. I had not really thought about it in a long time, but it was there in the back of my head. I quickly remembered how envious I was. I could still picture the thing in my head. I still really wanted to have an erection like that.
I tried to watch it, but the file was corrupt. But such is the wonder of the modern internet. I quickly was able to find that the guy was Julian Rios, and did a quick search. Turns out he does not look nearly as impressive as I had thought. The girl was, according to IMDB, about 5’3”, and so it made him look so large as to be inhuman (in my eyes).
Comparing his stats, I found that I am the same length and he is only slightly larger in girth. Even then, looking at him, I wonder if his stats are exaggerated. Ok, so he is big, but the impression that I had was just so out of whack. Even without seeing the video for years, I realized today that in the back of my mind I was still trying to reach that goal. To be as big as that guy. But in reality I had reached that goal almost a year ago…
Back before I got married and found better things to do, I used to search out porn on the net. In those dark ages of the web (late 90s earl 00s) it was more difficult to find things that were worth watching. There was this one video, Size Matters, with Leanna Hart and a guy named Julian. The guy was hung like a horse, really hard, and she was really into it. The guy’s erection and the girl’s reaction to it stuck in my head and had me jealous / envious for years. I wanted to be big like him. In some ways it was the impetus for my first failed forays into PE all those years ago.
So today I was rooting around on an old back up drive, trying to find an old textbook. I came across a bunch of old zip files, some with old porn videos. These were 30-40 seconds long and tiny. Really makes you wonder what the thrill was back then. Anyway, here was this Size Matters video. I had not really thought about it in a long time, but it was there in the back of my head. I quickly remembered how envious I was. I could still picture the thing in my head. I still really wanted to have an erection like that.
I tried to watch it, but the file was corrupt. But such is the wonder of the modern internet. I quickly was able to find that the guy was Julian Rios, and did a quick search. Turns out he does not look nearly as impressive as I had thought. The girl was, according to IMDB, about 5’3”, and so it made him look so large as to be inhuman (in my eyes).
Comparing his stats, I found that I am the same length and he is only slightly larger in girth. Even then, looking at him, I wonder if his stats are exaggerated. Ok, so he is big, but the impression that I had was just so out of whack. Even without seeing the video for years, I realized today that in the back of my mind I was still trying to reach that goal. To be as big as that guy. But in reality I had reached that goal almost a year ago…

Member of the Month Sept 2017
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